# Mild insults: Not the \_\_\_\_\_\_est \_\_\_\_\_ in the \_\_\_\_\_ **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 11, 2003, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523 "2003-03-11T08:54:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/1 "2003-03-11T08:54:53Z")
Not the sharpest tool in the shed Not the brightest crayon in the box… I’m looking for more along these lines (but not the closely related “one brick short of a full load” type, perhaps we can do that in another thread)… ---
**Author:** ![Motarts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@Motarts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Motarts)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/2 "2003-03-11T09:02:19Z")
Not the quickest of cats at the best of times. Stolen from Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrells… ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/3 "2003-03-11T10:24:11Z")
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. ---
**Author:** ![longjohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@longjohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/longjohn)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/4 "2003-03-11T13:29:46Z")
Not the coldest beer in the fridge. J. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/5 "2003-03-11T13:32:15Z")
Not the brightest bulb [in/on] the [box/tree/ Christmas tree/chandelier] Not the brightest lamp [on/in] the [street/house/store/block]. It’s not what you’re looking for, but my favorite insult is “a few vermin short of a plague.” ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/6 "2003-03-11T15:39:16Z")
Not the brightest candle on the birthday cake. Not the sharpest nail in the toolbox. Not the sharpest needle in the pincushion. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/7 "2003-03-11T17:23:22Z")
Not the swiftest pony in the race. ---
**Author:** ![beegirl13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/848f3c/32.png) [@beegirl13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beegirl13)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/8 "2003-03-11T17:29:48Z")
If only you had started this thread a few hours earlier! I was looking for insults like this just last night, but couldn’t think of any appropriate to the situation. ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/9 "2003-03-11T19:09:46Z")
Not the brightest star in the sky. Not the fastest car in the race. Not the sharpest pencil on the desk. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/10 "2003-03-11T19:20:38Z")
Not the brightest bulb in the marquee. ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/11 "2003-03-11T19:52:59Z")
Not the crispiest cracker in the box. Not the yellowest banana in the bunch. Not the biggest book on the shelf. ---
**Author:** ![elsa32](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@elsa32](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elsa32)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/12 "2003-03-12T00:33:54Z")
not the shiniest coin in the fountain. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/13 "2003-03-12T10:38:44Z")
Not the swiftest deer in the forest. ---
**Author:** ![MSU\_1978](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@MSU\_1978](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MSU_1978)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/14 "2003-03-12T13:25:17Z")
Not the most absorbent tampon in the box. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/15 "2003-03-12T17:58:56Z")
Not the brightest crayon in the box. ---
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/16 "2003-03-12T18:22:08Z")
Not the smartest peanut in the turd! I cant believe that one wasnt posted yet! ---
**Author:** ![bleach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bleach/32/3106_2.png) [@bleach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bleach)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/17 "2003-03-12T19:21:12Z")
Not the brightest penny in the roll. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/18 "2003-03-12T19:40:02Z")
Not the roundest rock in the box. ---
**Author:** ![Coilean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f6c823/32.png) [@Coilean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coilean)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/19 "2003-03-12T20:20:40Z")
Though it doesn’t quite make sense, I’ve always rather enjoyed “Not the brightest pumpkin in the patch.” Methinks it kind of captures the idiocy of what one’s trying to express. And along the same lines: Dumber\* than a box of bricks. Dumber thant a bag o’ hammers. Dumb as a stump/rock/post. I mean no offense to the mutes of the world. ---
**Author:** ![greck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ab992/32.png) [@greck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greck)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523/20 "2003-03-12T21:04:16Z")
In the great tool shed of life, that boy’s a mallet. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-not-the-______est-_____-in-the-_____/160523.md?page=2)