# Mild Insults: "one \_\_\_\_ short of a \_\_\_\_\_" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 11, 2003, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536 "2003-03-11T13:42:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![godzillatemple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/1 "2003-03-11T13:42:54Z")
So as not to hijack [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=168744), I’m starting this one to come up with alternatives to the classic “one brick short of a load.” Bibliophage already suggested “a few vermin short of a plague” in that other thread. I would suggest my personal favorite, “one sandwich short of a picnic.” Anybody else? Regards, Barry ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/2 "2003-03-11T13:55:22Z")
One slab short of a patio ---
**Author:** ![blanx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f04885/32.png) [@blanx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blanx)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/3 "2003-03-11T13:55:36Z")
a few fries short of a happy meal. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/4 "2003-03-11T13:58:06Z")
[ul] [li]One bit short of a byte.[/li][li]One record short of a database.[/li][li]One cherry short of a pie.[/li][li]One box short of a full van.[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/5 "2003-03-11T14:21:48Z")
One beer short of a six-pack. One clue short of a murder mystery. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/6 "2003-03-11T14:28:45Z")
From the Royal Canadian Air Farce: “A couple of French Fries short of a plate of Poutine!” ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/7 "2003-03-11T14:50:39Z")
One banana short of a bunch ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/8 "2003-03-11T14:55:46Z")
A taco short of a combination platter ---
**Author:** ![Marconi\_Schmeese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@Marconi\_Schmeese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marconi_Schmeese)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/9 "2003-03-11T15:11:48Z")
One lightbulb short of a chandelier. ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/10 "2003-03-11T15:18:53Z")
Just “Dagenham” It’s “_One stop short of Barking_” - UK/London joke… ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/11 "2003-03-11T15:22:05Z")
One ant short of a picnic One slice short of a sandwich One brick short of a wall As a hijack, I’ve always liked saying that someone is not 'the sharpest marble in the bag, mainly because it amuses the hell out of me that people always go ‘wait… marbles aren’t sharp…’. And then I LAUGH! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/12 "2003-03-11T16:41:20Z")
One electrical short of a socket. Wait… ---
**Author:** ![Violin\_D\_Ingrate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/898d66/32.png) [@Violin\_D\_Ingrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violin_D_Ingrate)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/13 "2003-03-11T16:46:42Z")
A doughnut shy of a dozen. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/14 "2003-03-11T16:58:01Z")
This topic has been done before…but I present the [Canonical List of Fulldeckisms](http://herbison.com/canon/fulldeck.html) ---
**Author:** ![Roadwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@Roadwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadwalker)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/15 "2003-03-11T23:59:39Z")
one frootloop shy of a full bowl a few clowns short of a circus ---
**Author:** ![cleops](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2acd7d/32.png) [@cleops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cleops)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/16 "2003-03-12T01:21:59Z")
thanks, beagledave! ---
**Author:** ![Etherman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/958977/32.png) [@Etherman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Etherman)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/17 "2003-03-12T04:11:12Z")
A few shingles short of a roof ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Barber\_s\_Underwear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/58f4c7/32.png) [@Tony\_Barber\_s\_Underwear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Barber_s_Underwear)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/18 "2003-03-12T04:29:51Z")
A few bricks short of a barbie ---
**Author:** ![ThawingSlowly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc29f/32.png) [@ThawingSlowly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThawingSlowly)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/19 "2003-03-12T12:26:11Z")
A couple of women short of a threesome. It seems the story of my life also doubles as an insult. Cool. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/20 "2003-03-12T12:27:33Z")
A hazelnut and cherry surprise short of a box of chocolate. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536.md?page=2)