# Mild Insults: "one \_\_\_\_ short of a \_\_\_\_\_" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 11, 2003, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536 "2003-03-11T13:42:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/21 "2003-03-12T13:23:24Z")
A couple cars short of a choo-choo. ---
**Author:** ![catnoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@catnoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catnoe)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/22 "2003-03-12T13:44:49Z")
A few cells short of a brain. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/23 "2003-03-12T13:49:34Z")
A dime short of a nickel. (For the truly lacking.) ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/24 "2003-03-12T17:53:10Z")
A few cars short of a cons. (Lisp hacker’s insult.) A couple packets short of a handshake. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/25 "2003-03-12T22:01:21Z")
I’ve always been immensely fond of the line from “I’m Going Slightly Mad” by Queen. “One Wave short of a shipwreck.” ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/26 "2003-03-13T05:07:28Z")
This is a variant form, but… How ‘bout the classic Foghorn Leghorn, "That boy’s about as sharp as a bag o’ wet mice!" ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/27 "2003-03-13T09:11:52Z")
One taco short of a fiesta. One sandwich short of a picnic. One brick short of a full load. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/28 "2003-03-13T13:58:44Z")
One dumb blonde short of a horror flick. ---
**Author:** ![Frostillicus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Frostillicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frostillicus)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/29 "2003-03-15T16:25:59Z")
A classic Bart line from “The Simpsons” “He’s a few prawns short of a galaxy”. If you saw the episode (with Gary Coleman as a security guard) you know what I am talking about.😃 ---
**Author:** ![CaTastrophy427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@CaTastrophy427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaTastrophy427)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/30 "2017-04-29T19:23:33Z")
One peg scant of a leg (Also works to replace “leg” with “pirate” if you so desire) Three words shy of an excuse One player off of a game of solitaire Lacking a few dozen characters to create a tweet Two million attendees away from an inauguration (Works best on someone from the USA) A few digits poor of a phone number And, my personal favorite: Two cells short of an amoeba (I was hit with this one, and did the following: :smack: because an amoeba is a single-celled organism) ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/31 "2017-04-29T19:51:56Z")
Those are all pretty awful, CaTastrophy427. And in the OP, “a few vermin short of a plague” would seem to me to have an entirely different meaning to “a brick short of a load”. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/32 "2017-04-29T19:54:33Z")
One stroke short of an orgasm. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/33 "2017-04-29T19:57:16Z")
Throw me out as the game ball, knock me out of the park. I’ve lost my peanuts, I’m crackers, Jack. Hit me so hard that I’ll never come back. 'Cause I’m root toot toot tutti frutti, It’s no joke, I’m insane. Yes, I’m One, Two Three strikes short Of a Full Ball Game! (Larry Doyle wrote the first five and a half lines, and I supplied the rest.) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/34 "2017-04-29T20:37:56Z")
How about “14 years long of a timely post”? ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2017, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/35 "2017-04-30T19:06:20Z")
14 k short of a f p d? ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2017, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/36 "2017-04-30T22:01:59Z")
One crow short of a murder. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/37 "2017-05-01T06:46:02Z")
> [@catnoe](#): > > A few cells short of a brain. A few brains short of a hivemind. (…doesn’t really work, does it) ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2017, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536/38 "2017-05-02T07:22:01Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > How about “14 years long of a timely post”? A few zombies short of an apocalypse? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-insults-one-____-short-of-a-_____/160536.md?page=1)