# Mild Pitting of Beck

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [October 12, 2024, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691 "2024-10-12T05:25:48Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 45

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**Author:** ![Chisquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@Chisquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chisquirrel)\
**Post date:** [October 27, 2025, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/881 "2025-10-27T21:30:15Z")

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When tips are expected as part of wages by everyone in society, including the government, it’s absolutely garnishing wages.

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**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\
**Post date:** [October 27, 2025, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/882 "2025-10-27T22:03:03Z")

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> [@Saint\_Cad](#):
>
> What if they use the wrong weight of oil? Or too much or too little? Or strip your drainpan bolt?  
> Do they still get the massage and kiss?

What’s the cultural expectation?

In a way, you’re right: the original theory behind tips is that we reward extra service with extra cash. But in practice, that’s not the current expectation: the current expectation is that people perform labor and hope that you compensate them fairly for labor, according to a generally accepted mathematical formula based on the check.

If someone does something egregious, to the extent that you would demand a refund for charged services of similar caliber, sure: you can do the equivalent of demanding a refund. But that’s a rare thing to do with a business. Most of the time you don’t object to the price of the good or service when it’s spelled out in advance, to the extent that you’ll stiff the service provider.

If you stiff wait staff more often than you stiff service providers, it may be an abuse of your relative power with them. And I believe that’s so far out of the cultural norm that you should let them know in advance.

When I go to the mechanic, my bill has two sections: “Parts” and “Labor.” I don’t fuss at them and ask why I’m responsible for paying their workers. I just recognize that they’ve separated these charges out, so I can see them. I recommend thinking of restaurant tipping in a similar way, and wish restaurants would stop making it optional to pay for labor.

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**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\
**Post date:** [October 27, 2025, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/883 "2025-10-27T22:28:06Z")

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> [@DMC](#):
>
> a mild “Fuck Beck” for putting in the “Don’t tip” note that started this whole thing.

Abso-fucking-lutely.

Ye gawds, we’ve done this argument over & over.

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**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\
**Post date:** [October 29, 2025, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/884 "2025-10-29T11:10:15Z")

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Can’t you all take this argument somewhere else? It’s fucking tedious

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**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2025, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/885 "2025-12-10T22:23:00Z")

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I apologize to the mods and the other posters (save the one I was addressing) for junior modding in the “I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain” thread (in MPSIMS). I should indeed have either reported the post instead, or just passed it by as yet another instance of what this poster (the subject of this thread) does all the time. But I was fed up to the eye teeth in this particular instance, that she re-opened a 4-month-gone thread to school us all on how we ought to feel. I frankly wonder if the mods would have done or said anything had I reported it, because as far as I know there was nothing there against the rules (except possibly not being a jerk, which it could fall under with a broad interpretation that would be difficult to enforce). They might have sent a PM, which I gather they ended up doing anyway; I, of course, am not privy to the contents of that PM, but I suspect it was similar to @Aspenglow’s post in the resulting ATMB thread.

And I thank @Aspenglow for those remarks in the ATMB thread that the poster opened in the hopes of who-knows-what. She (@Aspenglow) elucidated my feelings very well.

The only question remaining to me is whether the poster will learn anything at all from that explanation. (All signs point to no, but I am open to being surprised.) I can well understand that the poster finds it difficult to stop being a know-it-all Nanny after having been one for so many years.

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**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2025, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/886 "2025-12-10T23:05:07Z")

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> [@Roderick\_Femm](#):
>
> The only question remaining to me is whether the poster will learn anything at all from that explanation. (All signs point to no, but I am open to being surprised.) I can well understand that the poster finds it difficult to stop being a know-it-all Nanny after having been one for so many years.

She makes a very informative comment in the ATMB thread:

“I’m trying not to feel like I need to mother everyone. It’s difficult”

She…she thinks she posses wisdom that she needs to teach to everyone.

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**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2025, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/887 "2025-12-10T23:12:43Z")

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Another thing that grates on me is that she’ll pop in with information, but she’s got her facts wrong. Facts that she could’ve gotten right by taking 30 seconds to google it.

A "mild pitting’ indeed, but after the fifth time, it can go from annoying to infuriating.

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**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2025, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/888 "2025-12-10T23:13:04Z")

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I left a comment in the ATMB thread about her insisting that she doesn’t want to be a victim, only to complain being the victim two sentences later… 🤦‍♂️

ETA: and that was a good ribbing by our mod @Aspenglow in that thread!

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**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2025, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/889 "2025-12-10T23:19:19Z")

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I was very tempted to respond “what do you think ‘playing the victim’ means? If you’re unsure, here’s a good example.” But wiser minds prevailed.

You pointed out the contradiction in a less attacking way.

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**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2025, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/890 "2025-12-10T23:21:58Z")

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I think the way you put it would have been a-ok in ATMB, especially given the blatant hypocrisy.

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**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\
**Post date:** [December 11, 2025, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/891 "2025-12-11T00:22:20Z")

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> [@Roderick\_Femm](#):
>
> I frankly wonder if the mods would have done or said anything had I reported it, because as far as I know there was nothing there against the rules (except possibly not being a jerk, which it could fall under with a broad interpretation that would be difficult to enforce).

Don’t over think it.

[sic]

😉

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**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\
**Post date:** [December 11, 2025, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/892 "2025-12-11T00:34:15Z")

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> [@needscoffee](#):
>
> Don’t over think it.

Performs raspberry (and refuses to look for suitable emoji, but I know someone else will).

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**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\
**Post date:** [June 3, 2026, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/893 "2026-06-03T22:45:29Z")

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> [@1st time here. How do I comment on a post?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1st-time-here-how-do-i-comment-on-a-post/1030591/22):
>
> Ok I wasn’t "_worning"_ you,
> 
> I have no power to do that
> 
> It was in the way of advice. That’s all.
> 
> Sorry if I offended.

@Beckdawrek, I wanted to point out that you either need a period after “you” if you intended to end the sentence, or “I have no power” should be on the same line if the comma was correct. You are also missing a period at the end of the second line.

I know proper spelling and grammar are very important to you, so I figured you would appreciate the correction.

Or maybe correcting people’s spelling and grammar is kind of annoying?

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**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\
**Post date:** [June 3, 2026, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/894 "2026-06-03T22:57:11Z")

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How anyone could read that ~~2st~~ 2nd post and not immediately know that ilansho is, almost certainly, not a native English speaker is beyond me.

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**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2026, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/895 "2026-06-04T02:08:25Z")

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I believe the following is true: if anyone else had treated any of her posts that way (as she did in the two posts of hers that I read, in that thread) she would have been screaming bloody murder about how badly people treat her. Thoughtless meanness, at a minimum, from her in that thread.

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**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2026, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/896 "2026-06-04T04:37:50Z")

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> [@TroutMan](#):
>
> Or maybe correcting people’s spelling and grammar is kind of annoying?

Correcting the spelling of someone for whom English is their _third_ language.

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**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2026, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/897 "2026-06-04T12:57:23Z")

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I would probably use the term “mocking,” rather than “correcting.”

It was – as the kids say – “cringe.”

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**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2026, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/898 "2026-06-20T15:19:37Z")

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Always amusing to see those saddled with beck on the brain gnashing their gums and signing up for another year of her living rent free in your head. It’s terminally bad bad bad but still fun fun fun.

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**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2026, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/899 "2026-06-20T15:24:39Z")

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_By definition,_ aren’t you doing _the exact same thing_ that you’re accusing others of doing?

Hint: yes. You are.

I can definitely appreciate the irony, though 🙂

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**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2026, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-pitting-of-beck/1008691/900 "2026-06-20T15:35:57Z")

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Who is following the pittee around like a hungry decimated cur waiting for scraps to repeat in a pit thread while cackling like hyenas. That’s not my game. But I do like to point and laugh at them all.

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