# Mild Rant About Pizza Customers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 24, 2001, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357 "2001-10-24T19:16:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/1 "2001-10-24T19:16:05Z")
PIZZA DELIVERY GUY (ME): _knocks on door_ CUSTOMER: Who is it??? * * * If you order a pizza, and 30 minutes or less later there’s a knock on your door, just who the hell do you THINK it is? Mahatma Ghandi??? Sometimes I think the entire west side of Springfield, Illinois needs to be bitch-slapped. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/2 "2001-10-24T19:19:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rastahomie \* > \*\* > If you order a pizza, and 30 minutes or less later there’s a knock on your door, just who the hell do you THINK it is? Mahatma Ghandi??? > > \*\* Well, yeah. We sent him up to the corner to get the beer. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/3 "2001-10-24T19:20:57Z")
Next time someone says “who is it” you should answer back “Land shark.” Marc ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/4 "2001-10-24T19:22:34Z")
Of course I have to ask “Who is it?” every time. If I hadn’t, the land shark would’ve gotten me years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/5 "2001-10-24T19:24:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MGibson \* > **Next time someone says “who is it” you should answer back "Land shark."** Or, in a Brooklynesque accent, “It’s da plumbah! I’ve come ta fix the sink!” Am I the only one who remembers this? ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/6 "2001-10-24T19:24:33Z")
Damn simulpost. [grumble, grumble] ---
**Author:** ![Syzygy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Syzygy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syzygy)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/7 "2001-10-24T19:29:47Z")
When I’m hungry enough to order in (and this is for any type of delivery), I usually get to the door so fast, it scares the delivery guy (or girl). So there. 😃 As long as you deliver my pizza hot, and as long as it’s been horizontal from the pizza place to my place, I’ll keep doing that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/8 "2001-10-24T19:47:11Z")
> [@](#): > > Next time someone says “who is it” you should answer back “Land shark.” Damn it, I laughed right out loud at work over this one. Tears down the cheeks. Thanks- I needed that. Zette ---
**Author:** ![Gravity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gravity/32/14322_2.png) [@Gravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gravity)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/9 "2001-10-24T20:08:18Z")
Well… When I order in and someone knocks, I always say “one moment!” Only semi-related story: When we were getting the phone hooked up in our appartment, I was the one that was stuck waiting for the phone guy. He was supposed to show up between one and four o’clock. My sister called and said that she would be over to have lunch with me. I usually eat pretty early, so I wasn’t surprised to hear a knock at 10:30. I put down my book, and said in an odd falsetto sing-song voice, “Who Eeeees it?” I expected my sister to answer back in the same voice, we’ve been doing it for years. Imagine my surprise when a man’s voice says back, hesitantly, “Uhm…you need a phone put in?” Absolutely mortified, I answered back in the same sing-song voice, “One Meee-nut!” Then I opened the door, and told the guy where the phone jack is like nothing was odd. I can’t help but think everytime I tell this story that somewhere, there’s a phone guy that is telling the same story from the other side. ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/10 "2001-10-24T20:18:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gravity \* > When we were getting the phone hooked up in our appartment, I was the one that was stuck waiting for the phone guy. He was supposed to show up between one and four o’clock. > My sister called and said that she would be over to have lunch with me. Just curious – how did your sister call you before your phone was hooked up? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Demise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@Demise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demise)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/11 "2001-10-24T20:42:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rastahomie \* > **PIZZA DELIVERY GUY (ME)** Didn’t you just rant about Subway a couple months ago? I think that you and the food service industry just really don’t get along. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/12 "2001-10-24T20:47:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Just curious – how did your sister call you before your phone was hooked up? 🙂 Hey, even here in Assboink, NY we have cell phones. I’d guess that’s what he meant? Zette ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/13 "2001-10-24T20:58:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Demise \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by rastahomie \* > > **PIZZA DELIVERY GUY (ME)** > > Didn’t you just rant about Subway a couple months ago? I think that you and the food service industry just really don’t get along. 🙂 \*\* I work at Subway® in the daytime, and deliver pizza at night. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/14 "2001-10-24T20:58:19Z")
> [@](#): > > **"Land shark."** ::no answer:: “Candygram.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/15 "2001-10-24T21:02:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Legomancer \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by MGibson \* > > **Next time someone says “who is it” you should answer back "Land shark."** > > Or, in a Brooklynesque accent, “It’s da plumbah! I’ve come ta fix the sink!” > > Am I the only one who remembers this? \*\* {parrot voice} Who is it? {/parrot voice} 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/16 "2001-10-24T21:06:08Z")
Nope, sorry, **rast** , but I’m not opening my door until I know (or have a reasonable idea) who’s on the other side. Is it that hard to say “Domino’s” (or “Pizza Hut” or “Papa John’s” or whoever)? Folks are security-conscious. Probably more so now than ever. Can’t blame them for asking who’s knocking on their door. ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/17 "2001-10-24T21:22:07Z")
So I’ve gotta hook up this guy’s phone jack, right? So I go up and knock on the door and he goes “Who EEEEEEES it?” in this whacked-out voice. Weirdest thing I ever heard. \ ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/18 "2001-10-24T21:37:15Z")
OK, I’m remembering the “plumbah” joke, but not remembering from where. Fill me in! And always answer, “Buglar!” [sub](“You’re not an encyclopedia salesman, are you?”)[/sub] Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/19 "2001-10-24T21:46:24Z")
It was a cartoon/vignette on the Electric Company, wasn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![toshirodragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e68b1a/32.png) [@toshirodragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toshirodragon)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357/20 "2001-10-24T22:18:22Z")
The one that gets me Rasta, is when they open the door a crack and slide the money through to me. I am standing there with this 16 in horizontal box and the stupid prick doesnt want to open the door! Oh yeah we have one women in our delivery area that WON’T open the door… the check is taped to the door we ring the bell andd leave… no freakin tip either… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mild-rant-about-pizza-customers/89357.md?page=2)