# Milestones in the aging process **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 8, 2007, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335 "2007-02-08T08:31:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/21 "2007-02-09T03:59:46Z")
The first time you feel a bit offended because someone calls you miss instead of your accustomed ma’am, that’s a bit of a milestone. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/22 "2007-02-09T04:03:22Z")
When you begin to mentally cross things off the list of things you _could be_ , if things came together right. Like being a dancer, or professional athlete. The older I got the more things got crossed off. I was one of those who never said never, I always believed anything could happen. I actually can say ‘Never’ now and it’s the God’s honest truth, :eek:. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/23 "2007-02-09T04:06:30Z")
When your idea of “afternoon delight” changes from sex to a nap. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgonzola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e480ec/32.png) [@Gorgonzola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgonzola)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/24 "2007-02-09T04:29:34Z")
In chronological order: - When my mother was mortified that I caught her smoking - When I sat on an airplane leaving for our honeymoon, and it dawned on me that it was very possible we’d be together for fifty years - When the smile lines didn’t go away whenever I stopped smiling - When a client was born in the same Chinese calendar year as me, and I had to recalculate several times to be convinced that in fact it was TWO cycles (24 years) later - When **Sam Stone** proposed that both cars have automatic transmissions in the next refresh - Whenever I think about how many more mattresses I’ll have in my lifetime ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/25 "2007-02-09T09:13:01Z")
[QUOTE=elbows] I was one of those who never said never, I always believed anything could happen. I actually can say ‘Never’ now and it’s the God’s honest truth, :eek:. [/QUOTE] Huh - for me it’s more the opposite; the older I get, the less certain I am of my ability to forecast the future. Although I CAN say for certain that professional dancing isn’t in mine. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/26 "2007-02-09T09:25:02Z")
Most of these have happened to me, and I’m not even thirty. Way to make me feel old, guys. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_C](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Captain\_C](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_C)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/27 "2007-02-09T11:53:16Z")
Happens to me daily: When you realize that ‘hottie’ at the mall you’ve been checking out for the past 5 minutes was born in 1990! I’m 23, I can remember that year clearly! Oy, I feel bad. ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/28 "2007-02-09T12:14:56Z")
Past a certain age, mine have involved my children. When your child turns 30. Happened to me last year. All of my oldest’s significant birthdays have seemed like bigger milestones than my own, but 30, whew! ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Clanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/29 "2007-02-09T12:36:29Z")
[Uncle Monty] It’s the most devastating moment in a young mans life, when he quite reasonably says to himself, “I shall never play The Dane!”[/Uncle Monty] Receiving official brown envelopes in the mail. Seeing what you wore as a teenager come back into fashion. When you forget your own birthday. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/30 "2007-02-09T13:36:33Z")
Buying your first bottle of Centrum Silver. Checking a hottie’s ID and thinking that you could legally buy liquor that year. Realizing that you don’t really know it all. And that your dad did. The first time you see a teenager and tell him/her “Oh my, you have grown so much since I last saw you” When a teenager is startled by seeing you pick up a video game console controller. And kick his arse! When you see kids talking about some cool new thingy. And you just can’t figure it out. When a hottie in a miniskirt passes and you think that she is not eating enough. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/31 "2007-02-09T14:12:18Z")
[QUOTE=Voyager] The first time you receive and throw out the AARP application. [/quote] Receiving the AARP application, and reading it. And thinking that those sound like some pretty good deals. And something else. I’ll think of it in a minute. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/32 "2007-02-09T15:02:38Z")
When you think you might be getting jowls. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/33 "2007-02-09T15:11:00Z")
[QUOTE=ratatoskK] When you think you might be getting jowls. [/QUOTE] Or upper-arm wings. Or when you can tuck your boobs into your pants. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/34 "2007-02-09T16:36:18Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] Or when you can tuck your boobs into your pants. [/QUOTE] Double points if you are a man :eek: ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/35 "2007-02-09T17:31:03Z")
When sexual intercourse conjures up visions and memories…that is all 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/36 "2007-02-09T18:16:12Z")
[QUOTE=Sapo] The first time you see a teenager and tell him/her “Oh my, you have grown so much since I last saw you” [/QUOTE] I hear myself saying it, it sounds like the horrible cliche I hated as a kid, but I can’t stop! My good milestone: Realizing I’ll never be cool, I’ve lost my chance to ever be cool, and that’s OK. I can act like the dork I am and be all right with it. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/37 "2007-02-09T18:32:15Z")
Well, for me it was becoming a (step)grandpa at age 35. Two more times before 40. How about the first time you spend twenty minutes looking for your glasses, until you realize they are on your head? ---
**Author:** ![Plan\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Plan\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plan_B)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/38 "2007-02-09T18:42:03Z")
After an interaction involving me, an attractive 26 year old (who I thought was flirting with me) and a third person…later on the third person says: What that your daughter? After seeing a picture of my real life daughter as an infant, someone says : Is that your granddaughter?" ---
**Author:** ![Plan\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Plan\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plan_B)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/39 "2007-02-09T18:43:04Z")
Almost forgot, the first time a baseball player retired and I remembered his rookie season. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335/40 "2007-02-09T18:59:03Z")
[QUOTE=Spoons] Getting carded for tobacco or alcohol and secretly being pleased because it means you still look young. [/QUOTE] My corollary for the last couple of years has been – getting whistled at by a group of men at a construction site. I used to get so pissed that I was being “treated as an object” and now I’m thrilled that I’m seen as at least minimally attractive enough to whistle at! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/milestones-in-the-aging-process/391335.md?page=3)