# Miley Cyrus is writing a memoir. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 23, 2008, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505 "2008-04-23T04:10:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/1 "2008-04-23T04:10:31Z")
[Linky.](http://www.reuters.com/article/peopleNews/idUSN2234080420080422) Let’s see…15 years old. Rich, country music star daddy whose big success began before her birth, so we may safely infer she has no difficulty getting a contract. I offically hate everyone. Well, not my wife and nieces and sisters. But everybody else. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/2 "2008-04-23T04:12:28Z")
Oh my god. It’s going to be about five pages long and double-spaced. Because she’s _fifteen._ ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/3 "2008-04-23T08:59:19Z")
What a wittle cutey pa-tooty Are her parents addicted to anything? Booze, pills? A survivor story from showbiz kids are always fun. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/4 "2008-04-23T11:07:08Z")
Does publishing your MySpace page in hard copy really qualify as “writing a memoir”? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/5 "2008-04-23T11:41:28Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] Does publishing your MySpace page in hard copy really qualify as “writing a memoir”? [/QUOTE] Zing! ( Sadly, in today’s world, it does.) ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/6 "2008-04-23T11:49:34Z")
Will there be doodles in the margins? ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/7 "2008-04-23T11:56:52Z")
Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple. ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/8 "2008-04-23T14:39:12Z")
Eh, gotta strike while the iron is hot. She nuclear hot right now, and could probably sell a recording of her reading the phone book. In 5-7 years, she’ll be yesterday’s news and a memoir wouldn’t see the light of day. At least from what I’ve seen she and her parents have it together enough that she likely won’t end up like Britney, et al. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/9 "2008-04-23T14:44:19Z")
I picture the front cover being a picture of the front of her spiral notebook, with her signing her pretend married name over and over to see how it looks. ---
**Author:** ![ArizonaTeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/10 "2008-04-23T14:48:37Z")
[QUOTE=jk1245] At least from what I’ve seen she and her parents have it together enough that she likely won’t end up like Britney, et al. [/QUOTE] Woo. Then you haven’t been paying attention. That girl’s a Lohan-in-training…she’s already putting the feelers out for Vanessa Hudgens slutty self-pictures, the last batch trickling out this past weekend. Thank God she’s at least keeping the clothes on now. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/11 "2008-04-23T14:48:48Z")
and every lower case i and j will be dotted with little hearts if every there was a need for the puking smiley ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/12 "2008-04-23T14:52:17Z")
That’s for a book covering about 13 years, too, because you figure she can’t remember much of anything before age 2. She was famous by about 12, right? I guess the first half of the book will be about her long, difficult climb to the top in elementary school. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/13 "2008-04-23T14:53:20Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple. [/QUOTE] Billy Ray Cyrus was a has-been by the time Hannah Montana was two years old. In the years before his daughter’s big break, he acted in bit parts in movies and a low-rent cable show. He also put out a bunch of albums that barely sold anything. (at least, so says Wikipedia) Somehow I just can’t see a bunch of producers sitting around saying “Let’s give a show to Billy Ray Cyrus’ daughter, everyone loves Billy Ray Cyrus!” ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/14 "2008-04-23T15:07:01Z")
[QUOTE=ArizonaTeach] Woo. Then you haven’t been paying attention. That girl’s a Lohan-in-training…she’s already putting the feelers out for Vanessa Hudgens slutty self-pictures, the last batch trickling out this past weekend. Thank God she’s at least keeping the clothes on now. [/QUOTE] Yeah, I’d heard about those. I thought they were a look-alikes? I must admit though, I didin’t go Googling for nudie pix of a 15 year old. Seems a bad idea, esp from a work computer. At any rate, her memoir will be bought by and for a bunch of 8-12 year olds, who will move on to the next hot thing in a year or two. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/15 "2008-04-23T15:18:45Z")
[QUOTE=jk1245] Yeah, I’d heard about those. I thought they were a look-alikes? I must admit though, I didin’t go Googling for nudie pix of a 15 year old. Seems a bad idea, esp from a work computer. [/QUOTE] Apparently they were pictures of Milley and a friend at a sleepover wrestling. [http://www.imdb.com/news/wenn/2007-12-31#celeb3](http://www.imdb.com/news/wenn/2007-12-31#celeb3) Naturally, a bunch of Helen Lovejoys jumped to conclusions and started jabbering about the picture’s inappropriate lesbian overtones. Nothing like the smell of homophobia in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/16 "2008-04-23T16:15:01Z")
So what, this isn’t meant for us, it’s meant for her fans who are generally tween grils. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/17 "2008-04-23T18:35:03Z")
“Writing” should probably be in quotation marks- before the project was officially announced, _OK!_ magazine [reported](http://www.okmagazine.com/news/view/5970) that Disney was searching for a ghostwriter to pen the tome. [QUOTE=Justin\_Bailey] Somehow I just can’t see a bunch of producers sitting around saying “Let’s give a show to Billy Ray Cyrus’ daughter, everyone loves Billy Ray Cyrus!” [/QUOTE] Miley wasn’t hand-chosen for her role- she had to [audition](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XC381G8rS4&feature=related) for it…and so did her father. (Note that the character was originally supposed to be named “Zoe”- the name was changed to Miley’s own after a certain Nickelodeon series premiered.) As for the pictures- both the current batch and the past ones- none of them are actually that scandalous. People keep trying to pin scandals on her, but since she’s so darn squeaky-clean, they just rub off- either by themselves or with her and her father helping to apologize. Possible opening lines for the book: “It was the best of both worlds, it was the worst of both worlds.” “Today it seems to me providential that Destiny should have chosen Tennessee as my birthplace. Metaphorically speaking, of course- my real name is Destiny, but I’m not talking about myself, I’m talking about Destiny in an allegorical sense.” “If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. But since that’s what they’re paying me to write for [del]Miley[/del] you, I guess I have to tell you.” “It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents–except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of tumbleweeds which swept up the streets (for it is in Tennessee that our scene lies), rattling along the farmland, and fiercely agitating the achy-breaky hearts of the citizens that struggled against the darkness.” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/18 "2008-04-23T19:19:06Z")
"In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. ‘Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,’ he told me, ‘don’t tell their hearts, their achy, breaky hearts. I just don’t think they’d understand.’" ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/19 "2008-04-23T20:04:20Z")
Sweet Niblets! errr, I mean Jesus Fucking H Christ! ya, that’s what I ment to say. ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505/20 "2008-04-23T22:07:07Z")
“Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Country Western charts of Billboard lies some small unregarded white trash.” “Call me Destiny. Wait, no, call me Miley. Strike that. Call me Hannah. Oh screw it - just call me rich.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miley-cyrus-is-writing-a-memoir/446505.md?page=2)