# Military folks: what are the best hilariously inaccurate military movies / scenes? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 16, 2013, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860 "2013-04-16T19:28:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tonyfop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85f322/32.png) [@tonyfop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonyfop)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/21 "2013-04-17T00:22:07Z")
Under Siege with Steven Seagal. He loses his clearance, so he is given a choice of two jobs - Yeoman or Cook. He chooses Cook, which is good, because you are required to have a clearance to be Yeoman. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/22 "2013-04-17T00:34:02Z")
The opening batle scene in Gladiator. Heavy cavalry charge through a forest on uneven terrain into your own men. Saddles are wrong. The Germanic tribes coming out of the forest to face an formed legion (They’s learnt the trick of not fighting like that with Arminius.) ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/23 "2013-04-17T00:34:16Z")
> [@RikWriter](#): > > And uniforms are almost always wrong. I think the biggest violator I can think of for both of these was the movie Basic with John Travolta. In his defense, they accurately portrayed the uniforms worn on the Thetan home planets. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/24 "2013-04-17T00:36:04Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > I assume you’re not referring to seeing Tony Soprano aboard. He was still feeling read bad about Big Pussy and looking for his body. ---
**Author:** ![Martin\_Hyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@Martin\_Hyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martin_Hyde)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/25 "2013-04-17T00:40:15Z")
It’s one of those things where there is such a huge span of wrong things it becomes hard to even notice them all. The uniforms are basically always wrong, and that goes for historical military movies as well (a side area of interest for me, and most movies involving military units before the 20th century basically get about as close to having an accurate period uniform as a third grader who went to a Halloween store does.) Radio communication is almost always extremely wrong. Small unit tactics and the way modern soldiers are depicted fighting is almost always wrong (lots of scenes where I think the director believe small unit combat involves spraying at full auto while barely looking in the direction you’re spraying in between diving behind cover that would provide little to no protection whatsoever from real ammunition.) One of the more egregious ones is the ranks of many characters in relationship to the job they have in the movie is often wrong. Usually guys with a certain rank have far larger commands than someone of that rank would in real life, or vice versa (captains commanding a small squad as an example.) In the movies that aren’t “war movies” but are set within the military, the relationships usually bear little resemblance to how real relationships work. Either you have subordinates being so directly insubordinate any real officer would have absolutely no choice but to take serious disciplinary action or you have an office so unrealistically robotic and imperious that even the worst guys I ever saw wouldn’t come close to being that bad. Basically, in the real military people act more “normal” than they do in the movies, but then again people everywhere act more normal than they do in all movies. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/26 "2013-04-17T00:44:43Z")
As mentioned above, Iron Eagle is a fun movie to look for wrong things in. For example, the F-16s being painted in that cool desert camo pattern that the USAF has never used (the Israeli Air Force, which helped with production of the film, however, does use that pattern). Or the staggering ease with which a bunch of high school kids are able to infiltrate the most secure areas of an Air Force installation and steal a pair of fighter jets. Stargate can also be fun, mainly due to issues of rank (such as Lt. Colonel Kowalski’s ever-changing form of address. Is he a Colonel? Is he a Lieutenant? Is he a floor wax _and_ a desert topping?) ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/27 "2013-04-17T00:47:59Z")
Regarding uniforms, I think it’s more ignorance than anything else. The uniforms aren’t hard to wear correctly, nor is it hard to find the pertinent uniform regs (for the Air Force, it’s AFI 36-2903 and easily found with a Google search), or examples of soldiers wearing uniforms correctly (CNN, BBC, Fox News, Al Jazeera, etc.) That said, uniforms are often worn incorrectly in _real life_, because some folks even in the military either don’t care, never read the reg themselves and just don’t know, or are rebelling (thank the great fuzzy jebus for velcro uniform patches and the endless opportunities for harmless defiance they present). Sometimes they’re just having a Category 1 brain fart and do something stupid with their uniform without realizing it. There’s an infamous screencap of an Air Force officer on CNN with one of his shoulder boards on backwards. Velcro patches can make that one really easy too, incidentally. What is interesting is how differently you can wear a uniform without breaking the rules. The regs (in the US military at least) can be somewhat undetailed. It might say you have to wear green combat boots, but won’t say anything about the style of those combat boots. You can find some very sleek looking lightweight combat boots sold by Nike and Converse if you don’t want to wear the cheap Bates or Bellvilles that most folks get issued with the oh-so lightweight inch thick hard rubber soles. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/28 "2013-04-17T01:44:43Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > As mentioned above, Iron Eagle is a fun movie to look for wrong things in. For example, the F-16s being painted in that cool desert camo pattern that the USAF has never used (the Israeli Air Force, which helped with production of the film, however, does use that pattern). Or the staggering ease with which a bunch of high school kids are able to infiltrate the most secure areas of an Air Force installation and steal a pair of fighter jets. And the F-4s cast as Russian Migs performing close to what F-16s can do… ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/29 "2013-04-17T02:13:46Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > As mentioned above, Iron Eagle is a fun movie to look for wrong things in. Or the staggering ease with which a bunch of high school kids are able to infiltrate the most secure areas of an Air Force installation and steal a pair of fighter jets. A former colleague of mine was a former Air Force pilot, and he laughed hysterically at the “security” in \*\*\*Iron Eagle. \*\*\* He said that at Air Force bases where he’s been stationed, sentries who KNEW him well and SAW him every day would demand to see ID and clearance before he could get into places he was SUPPOSED to go… and they’d coldly, efficiently turn away any pilot who didn’t have those things. But kids, apparently, could go anywhere they wanted on an Air Force base without anyone asking any questions. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/30 "2013-04-17T02:52:13Z")
Also the idea of a dirtbike racing a Cessna. Cessna 172s have a cruising speed of around 140 MPH, and a redline speed of something like 180 MPH. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/31 "2013-04-17T05:45:32Z")
Oh, in movies and television programs made in the 70’s, the haircuts are just wrong. During the later seasons of Baa Baa Black Sheep, Robert Conrad’s son was cast as one of the pilots. His hair covered half of his ears at least. That never could have happened. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/32 "2013-04-17T15:13:40Z")
> [@pool](#): > > Yeah a lot of movies get the uniform wrong you have battle hardened four star Generals that have no deployment or unit patches that are leading a huge military campaign which I have seen Sergeant Majors and high ranking officers that had been in like thirty years and had never deployed but it would be rare for someone in charge of a big campaign having never deployed and a lot of the high ranking that I’ve seen that had never deployed were MOS’s like medical or something, I know I’ve seen a lot of other errors I just can’t think of any at the top of my head right now. > [@silenus](#): > > This is _corrected_ for grammar? 😛 But apparently not punctuation. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/33 "2013-04-17T15:18:15Z")
_Inglourious Basterds_ got a few historical facts wrong here and there. ---
**Author:** ![Svejk\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Svejk\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svejk_1)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/34 "2013-04-17T16:50:10Z")
Star Wars. I don’t even know where to start but clearly George Lucas has never seen the inside of an X-wing - or a Death Star for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/35 "2013-04-17T17:02:51Z")
Ever notice that there’s always one oddball in an outfit who’s always out of uniform and gets away with rank insubordination because he’s so cool? Two examples that come to mind are Ben Gazzara in _ **The Bridge at Remagen** _ (with Robert Vaughn playing a Nazi general :rolleyes: ) and Hal Holbrook in _ **Midway** _. Both movies totally suck (_ **Remagen** _ was made for TV), but the scene where Holbrook, tieless in a silk bathrobe and with a soggy cigar in his mouth, says to Henry Fonda “Ain’t that worth a hot-diggety-damn, Admiral?” takes the proverbial cake. Any USN commander who dressed and talked to a superior officer like that would have found himself on board a PBY the next day headed for Spokane. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/36 "2013-04-17T17:12:47Z")
> [@Martin\_Hyde](#): > > It’s one of those things where there is such a huge span of wrong things it becomes hard to even notice them all. > > The uniforms are basically always wrong, and that goes for historical military movies as well (a side area of interest for me, and most movies involving military units before the 20th century basically get about as close to having an accurate period uniform as a third grader who went to a Halloween store does.) Something that drove one of my uncles batty was seeing movies involving units where uniforms would have been some officer’s pipe dream (lots of militias and of mercenary units throughout history, for starters), yet in those movies if anybody did not have a perfect uniform it was a plot point. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/37 "2013-04-17T17:17:16Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Ever notice that there’s always one oddball in an outfit who’s always out of uniform and gets away with rank insubordination because he’s so cool? Two examples that come to mind are Ben Gazzara in _ **The Bridge at Remagen** _ (with Robert Vaughn playing a Nazi general :rolleyes: ) and Hal Holbrook in _ **Midway** _. > > Both movies totally suck (_ **Remagen** _ was made for TV), but the scene where Holbrook, tieless in a silk bathrobe and with a soggy cigar in his mouth, says to Henry Fonda “Ain’t that worth a hot-diggety-damn, Admiral?” takes the proverbial cake. Any USN commander who dressed and talked to a superior officer like that would have found himself on board a PBY the next day headed for Spokane. > **[Joseph Rochefort](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Rochefort)** > > Joseph John Rochefort (May 12, 1900 – July 20, 1976) was an American naval officer and cryptanalyst. He was a major figure in the United States Navy's cryptographic and intelligence operations from 1925 to 1946, particularly in the Battle of Midway. His contributions and those of his team were pivotal to victory in the Pacific War. > Rochefort was born May, 12, 1900, in Dayton, Ohio. In 1917, he joined the United States Navy while still in high school in Los Angeles, without obtaining a diploma.... Or reassigned to command a floating dry dock in 'Frisco. Wikipedia doesn’t mention it, but I have read that Rochefort was somewhat eccentric. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/38 "2013-04-17T17:18:23Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Ever notice that there’s always one oddball in an outfit who’s always out of uniform and gets away with rank insubordination because he’s so cool? Two examples that come to mind are Ben Gazzara in _ **The Bridge at Remagen** _ (with Robert Vaughn playing a Nazi general :rolleyes: ) and Hal Holbrook in _ **Midway** _. > > Both movies totally suck (_ **Remagen** _ was made for TV), but the scene where Holbrook, tieless in a silk bathrobe and with a soggy cigar in his mouth, says to Henry Fonda “Ain’t that worth a hot-diggety-damn, Admiral?” takes the proverbial cake. Any USN commander who dressed and talked to a superior officer like that would have found himself on board a PBY the next day headed for Spokane. I will give a pass on Hal Holbrook. Just read about Joe Rochefort, the guy he portrayed in the movie. I think that Holbrook’s performance is toned **down** to what Rochefort was in real life. For cite : Gordon W. Prange’s _Miracle at Midway_ and Walter Lord’s _Incredible Victory_. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/39 "2013-04-17T17:19:11Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#): > > The opening batle scene in Gladiator. > Heavy cavalry charge through a forest on uneven terrain into your own men. > Saddles are wrong. > The Germanic tribes coming out of the forest to face an formed legion (They’s learnt the trick of not fighting like that with Arminius.) Yeah, but “People _should_ know when they are conquered.”. ---
**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2013, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/40 "2013-04-17T17:22:19Z")
Keys for military specific vehicles, especially jeeps. Starter button on the floor would be the accurate way to start them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860.md?page=3)