# Military folks: what are the best hilariously inaccurate military movies / scenes? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 16, 2013, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860 "2013-04-16T19:28:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/81 "2013-04-19T01:00:08Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > What was it like serving in the Legions? Very nice actually. Stationed in cisalpine Gaul, got me a nice promotion to centurion very quickly, nice chick. Couldn’t complain. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/82 "2013-04-19T01:04:33Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#): > > The opening batle scene in Gladiator. > Heavy cavalry charge through a forest on uneven terrain into your own men. > Saddles are wrong. > The Germanic tribes coming out of the forest to face an formed legion (They’s learnt the trick of not fighting like that with Arminius.) Also, the Germanic war chant is lifted straight out of [Zulu](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nG3N5E1epAI) ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/83 "2013-04-19T01:06:21Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > In fiction, they also cause big orange fiery explosions, whereas IRL it’s a spray of dust and nearly-invisible shrapnel. But then how would they outrun the fireball? Most war movies seem to portray the fireball cloud as the dangerous part of a bomb going off. In reality, as you pointed out, it’s the nearly invisible shrapnel and supersonic concussive shockwave that ruins your day. Full Metal Jacket seemed to get this right in the scene where the column of Marines comes under mortar attack and the lieutenent gets hit by shrapnel from like 50 feet away. I’m not ex-military or anything, but the way the EOD team operated in The Hurt Locker didn’t ring true for me. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/84 "2013-04-19T01:11:56Z")
> [@gravitycrash](#): > > Grenades making far larger and visible explosions than in reality. Regular frag grenades don’t produce gobs of fire. It makes some smoke and sort of shimmer of air from the percussion, kind of like heat coming off asphalt on a hot day. But that wouldn’t look very dramatic on film. Proof of Life managed to get it right. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/85 "2013-04-19T02:20:09Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Even pre-911 the areas around the planes were very secure. You may have been able get around the rest of the base but not there. I remember being on an Air Force flight line with our Army helicopters. A couple of the pilots wandered around a bit. They crossed the yellow line painted on the tarmac near a C-5. Next thing they know they are face down eating asphalt with M-16s pointed at the back of their heads. Fine. Mayhaps being a cute little female doing her best blond bimbo act is a guarantee against eating asphalt. All I can say is I did it multiple time, with absolutely no ID or ID check [though I always carried a drivers license as photo ID, force of habit.] I can categorically state that I parked in the first paved parking area at the Magazine Rd end, and walked all the way to the 4th heli flight pad, speaking with assorted personnel all the way there. It was after dark, about 8 pm. [why yes, I am seriously familiar with NOB as well as the Amphib base, and Subbase NLON. over 25 years of dealing with the Navy tends to do that. Not to mention that having had housing on E Ingram, I can ID Navy planes used from 1985 til 90 by sound or sight.] ---
**Author:** ![toofs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/86 "2013-04-19T02:23:30Z")
There were a few technical errors in the cold war epic Stripes, starring Bill Murray. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/87 "2013-04-19T02:31:34Z")
> [@toofs](#): > > There were a few technical errors in the cold war epic Stripes, starring Bill Murray. Just a few, but I was nursing a minor crush on PJ Soles then and those little errors didn’t bother me all that much. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/88 "2013-04-19T02:44:03Z")
Well, if you are going to include _Stripes_, _PVT Benjamin_ was kind of un-realistic 😃 SFC Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/89 "2013-04-19T05:25:08Z")
\*Cadet Kelly \*was spot-on though.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/90 "2013-04-19T07:46:33Z")
> [@SSG\_Schwartz](#): > > Well, if you are going to include _Stripes_, _PVT Benjamin_ was kind of un-realistic 😃 > > SFC Schwartz You’re pretty good at the art of the understatement, aren’t you? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/91 "2013-04-19T14:20:04Z")
> [@detop](#): > > I will give a pass on Hal Holbrook. Just read about Joe Rochefort, the guy he portrayed in the movie. I think that Holbrook’s performance is toned **down** to what Rochefort was in real life. For cite : Gordon W. Prange’s _Miracle at Midway_ and Walter Lord’s _Incredible Victory_. I concur. My understanding is that cryptographers were given considerable latitude just like doctors a la MASH simply because it was so hard to get good ones in the military. Think of that person in the office who is the only one that can degauss the duotronic Heisen-fram resonator on the server and the special treatment they get. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/92 "2013-04-19T14:27:11Z")
Tom Cruise insisting that the Marine prisoners should salute him in “A Few Good Men.” A prisoner’s right to salute is taken away. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/93 "2013-04-19T17:49:33Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > I concur. > My understanding is that cryptographers were given considerable latitude just like doctors a la MASH simply because it was so hard to get good ones in the military. Think of that person in the office who is the only one that can degauss the duotronic Heisen-fram resonator on the server and the special treatment they get. What’s ironic about all this is that Rochefort finally rubbed somebody (Commander Redman?) the wrong way, and got banished to commanding a floating dry dock in San Francisco. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/94 "2013-04-19T17:50:42Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > Tom Cruise insisting that the Marine prisoners should salute him in “A Few Good Men.” A prisoner’s right to salute is taken away. Question: Technically, wouldn’t the defendants be in “pre-trial detention”? They hadn’t been convicted of anything yet. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/95 "2013-04-19T19:17:54Z")
> [@pjnlsn](#): > > I refuse to believe any submarine crew is that incompetent. Don’t forget, you’re talking about the Russian/Soviet navy here. Your average sailor there (or soldier, for that matter) is a conscript, likely from some backwater town where “high-tech” means a fifty-year-old tractor that doesn’t run, who probably just finished high school and wasn’t bright enough to get into university. He’s probably already a borderline alcoholic, doesn’t want to be in the military, and can only think of the day he’s discharged from the service. Remember the _Kursk_? Sank during an exercise when a torpedo exploded on board? Russian navy divers tried to rescue the survivors and couldn’t open a friggin’ hatch. The Norwegians were finally allowed to lend a hand and did in ten minutes what the Russians couldn’t manage in a week. Andy Rooney once said “Anybody who’s ever tried to use Russian plumbing wouldn’t be afraid of the Soviet Union.” He was absolutely right. Never underestimate the incompetence of the Russian military. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/96 "2013-04-19T19:23:48Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > Tom Cruise insisting that the Marine prisoners should salute him in “A Few Good Men.” A prisoner’s right to salute is taken away. Technically, in the Naval tradition, one only salutes indoors if they’re wearing a cover. And one only wears a cover indoors if they’re under arms. Rarely are detainees or prisoners issued arms. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/97 "2013-04-19T19:30:39Z")
On the subject of explosions, I remember one episode of _ **Combat!** _ where the GIs were charging up a ridge during a barrage. Just as Lt Hanley reaches the crest, an 88 explodes less than a yard in front of him. It knocks him back down the slope, dazed and with a tiny piece of shrapnel in his shoulder. Doc gives him a quick once-over and decides he can walk back to the battalion aid station on his own. Sheeeeeee-it! In real life, there wouldn’t have been enough left of the good lieutenant to fill a baggie. Not long ago, I was watching _ **Foyle’s War** _, and his son’s RAF base came under attack by the Luftwaffe. Bombs are exploding everywhere, but there are _no friggin’ craters_, just scorch marks where the SFX crew set off their plastic jugs of oil and gasoline, or whatever they use to create those huge orange-and-black fireballs. What, they think no one’s gonna notice? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/98 "2013-04-20T15:04:18Z")
> [@spifflog](#): > > James Kirk, a kid who isn’t even a graduate of Star Fleet academy, taking over command of the flag ship! I blame Wesley Crusher. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/99 "2013-04-20T15:37:26Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > [major snippage] > Not long ago, I was watching _ **Foyle’s War** _, and his son’s RAF base came under attack by the Luftwaffe. Bombs are exploding everywhere, but there are _no friggin’ craters_, just scorch marks where the SFX crew set off their plastic jugs of oil and gasoline, or whatever they use to create those huge orange-and-black fireballs. > > What, they think no one’s gonna notice? :dubious: For the record, I understand that if one wants orange fireballs, one needs to use naptha. ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860/100 "2013-04-20T19:43:46Z")
Someone said it jokingly early on but Stripes. Stripes. Stripes. The scene that blows my mind is when they all get to basic training and go through to get hair cuts and everyone comes out with the standard #1 all around and Bill Murray and Egon come out with style cuts. Seriously. Stripes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/military-folks-what-are-the-best-hilariously-inaccurate-military-movies-scenes/655860.md?page=6)