# Mind your own damn business **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 23, 2006, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200 "2006-01-23T03:05:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/1 "2006-01-23T03:05:15Z")
Why do some people feel that they have a right - or an obligation, for some - to tell others what they should be doing with their lives? I had a long chat last week with the woman at work who keeps pronouncing my name wrong, even though I’ve been there almost two years now. The chat started out innocently enough. She’s a nurse, and was very interested to hear all about my medical technology internship in the hospital. I started telling her about how I got to see surgery, and autopsies, how the blood bank was stressful but exhilerating, and how bacteriology stinks but is still tons of fun. My voice was excited, I was smiling; it’s ovbious that I’m enjoying myself in the labs. I’m goddamn elated about what I’m doing, even if it’s difficult. But then, she interrupted me to ask why I never considered med school. Now, I did, at one point, think about it. I find medical science fascinating and I love problem-solving, so I’d probably enjoy medicine. The thing is, though, my grades weren’t quite good enough, and to be honest, I’m turned off by the thought of working through a bunch of rotations that don’t interest me. And I’m getting a little tired of school and want to start _working_. With the program I’m studying now, I’m working in the labs, and I’m **important**. Without the tests I’m running, people can’t get blood transfusions. Doctors can’t know whether a patient’s anemia is from leukemia or because he’s not getting enough iron. They won’t know what antibiotics to give for a resistant infection, and they won’t know whether a tumor is cancerous or benign. Which is why I can’t understand how this woman dared to tell me “but you have so much potential! You could be a doctor! Why don’t you apply to med school, just to see?” First of all, how **dare** you tell me that I’m not living up to my potential by doing what I’m doing? You’re a nurse - why’d you stop there? Why aren’t you a goddamn astrophysicist? I hops your son wants to become a professional ballet dancer. That’d just flip your whole damn life upside down, now, wouldn’t it? Look, I don’t care what someone’s IQ is - whether he decides to be a lawyer, a philosopher, or a florist is of no concern to me. When you’re happy with what you’re doing, and you can make a living with it, that’s all that’s important. And yet, when I started this program 2 years ago, I had to deal with dozens of people, some of whom barely even knew me, asking why I was doing this instead of medicine. Why do I keep having to justify my choices to these people? Mind your own business and go to hell! ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/2 "2006-01-23T03:37:41Z")
I just want to let you know that your cri de coeur seems to be bearing fruit already, as I didn’t read beyond the first sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/3 "2006-01-23T03:46:35Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > I just want to let you know that your cri de coeur seems to be bearing fruit already, as I didn’t read beyond the first sentence. The title was enough for me, as I didn’t even open the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/4 "2006-01-23T03:51:19Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > Why do some people feel that they have a right - or an obligation, for some - to tell others what they should be doing with their lives? > > I had a long chat last week with the woman at work who keeps pronouncing my name wrong, even though I’ve been there almost two years now. The chat started out innocently enough. She’s a nurse, and was very interested to hear all about my medical technology internship in the hospital. I started telling her about how I got to see surgery, and autopsies, how the blood bank was stressful but exhilerating, and how bacteriology stinks but is still tons of fun. My voice was excited, I was smiling; it’s ovbious that I’m enjoying myself in the labs. I’m goddamn elated about what I’m doing, even if it’s difficult. > > But then, she interrupted me to ask why I never considered med school. Now, I did, at one point, think about it. I find medical science fascinating and I love problem-solving, so I’d probably enjoy medicine. The thing is, though, my grades weren’t quite good enough, and to be honest, I’m turned off by the thought of working through a bunch of rotations that don’t interest me. And I’m getting a little tired of school and want to start _working_. > > With the program I’m studying now, I’m working in the labs, and I’m **important**. Without the tests I’m running, people can’t get blood transfusions. Doctors can’t know whether a patient’s anemia is from leukemia or because he’s not getting enough iron. They won’t know what antibiotics to give for a resistant infection, and they won’t know whether a tumor is cancerous or benign. > > Which is why I can’t understand how this woman dared to tell me “but you have so much potential! You could be a doctor! Why don’t you apply to med school, just to see?” > > First of all, how **dare** you tell me that I’m not living up to my potential by doing what I’m doing? You’re a nurse - why’d you stop there? Why aren’t you a goddamn astrophysicist? I hops your son wants to become a professional ballet dancer. That’d just flip your whole damn life upside down, now, wouldn’t it? > > Look, I don’t care what someone’s IQ is - whether he decides to be a lawyer, a philosopher, or a florist is of no concern to me. When you’re happy with what you’re doing, and you can make a living with it, that’s all that’s important. And yet, when I started this program 2 years ago, I had to deal with dozens of people, some of whom barely even knew me, asking why I was doing this instead of medicine. > > Why do I keep having to justify my choices to these people? > > Mind your own business and go to hell! That’s all well and good, but maybe you should consider medical school ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/5 "2006-01-23T03:59:38Z")
Hmmmmmm. Uh, I’d call that a compliment and leave it alone. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/6 "2006-01-23T04:07:08Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > The title was enough for me, as I didn’t even open the thread. Me neither. Just held the cursor over long enough to get the general gi…Actually, can’t even recall that now. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/7 "2006-01-23T04:25:23Z")
Could someone tell me what on earth **Frank** and **Roger Thornhill** are talking about? ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/8 "2006-01-23T04:26:41Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > Could someone tell me what on earth **Frank** and **Roger Thornhill** are talking about? Mind you own damn business. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/9 "2006-01-23T04:28:40Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > Mind you own damn business. and go to hell! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/10 "2006-01-23T04:48:41Z")
_ **And get off my lawn!** _ The woman sounds clueless and well-meaning, probably oblivious to anything outside her tidy little world view. How (if at all) did you answer her? If you did, how did she react? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/11 "2006-01-23T05:05:49Z")
As a nurse, she should be a little bit more aware that lab techs are highly skilled, extremely valuable medical professionals, but I found that part of your job as a lab tech is education of the masses who have no idea who lab techs are and what function they perform. I always liked blood banking, too. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/12 "2006-01-23T06:22:15Z")
I know how the OP feels. I get that sort of thing all the time. Example: “You have a degree in Computer Science but you work in a factory? You’re so smart; you could be anything! Don’t you want to do more with your life?” My _life_? My job isn’t my life. My job is how I pay for my life. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/13 "2006-01-23T06:49:23Z")
> [@BlackKnight](#): > > Example: “You have a degree in Computer Science but you work in a factory? You’re so smart; you could be anything! Don’t you want to do more with your life?” > > My _life_? My job isn’t my life. My job is how I pay for my life. Right on. Plus, it apparently doesn’t register for some people that some factory jobs actually have better pay and benefits (due to unions) than some white-collar desk jobs. For example, I bet your factory job [is](http://ea-spouse.livejournal.com/274.html) [a](http://ea-spouse.livejournal.com/) [_bit_](http://www.eaovertimecase.com/) better than the job at EA your CS degree could (possibly) get you. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/14 "2006-01-23T08:50:58Z")
You’re right **Antigen** that nurse was completely wrong… …about you! ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/15 "2006-01-23T09:25:05Z")
Jesus Christ, it’s just a question. One that I was wondering before I even got to that part. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/16 "2006-01-23T11:53:33Z")
> [@threemae](#): > > Jesus Christ, it’s just a question. **Antigen** , sweetie…that’s just it: A question. A question asked by someone well-meaning and clueless. A question by someone who, as someone earlier put it, doesn’t have much of a world view past her little compartmentalized life. I know it must’ve been frustrating for you to hear the same question _ad nauseum_ yet again. I used to get the same kind of thing when I was younger. Hell, I sometimes even get it now :roll eyes: But you know what? Some people want to make conversation and aren’t too swift at it. Some people, whether it’s their business or not, want to know why you’re X and not Y. They’re trying to be polite, not nosy, even though it may come across as the latter. The trick, I think, is to come up with a succinct answer. They ask, you answer, subject closed. You’re correct that it’s none of her business re medical school. But you don’t have to jump down her throat either. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/17 "2006-01-23T15:27:17Z")
**threemae** is **antigen** ’s spouse/relative? 😕 Why are you addressing **threemae** as **antigen** , **kiz**? 😕😕😕 ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/18 "2006-01-23T15:48:17Z")
To me, the irony is that alot of nurses today get pissed because folks ask them why THEY didn’t go to med school. So, I had a short laugh at the nurse in question. Write her off–she’s clueless (as evidenced by her getting your name wrong). Do these people ever stop to think what would happen if everyone went to med school? Docs don’t do it alone, not by a long shot. I have often fielded the same question–and it is irksome. I can even get paranoid enough to read a passive-aggressive insult into it…as in, “you’re an underachiever, I’m gonna point that out to you, to embarass you.” But that’s when I remember my meds.\* Plus, I don’t think that most people actually think before they start talking, so, just write her off. \*joke. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/19 "2006-01-23T15:58:40Z")
Try being a veterinarian and dealing with the “Why didn’t you go to med school?” question. “Because I’d much rather stick my arm up a cow’s ass.” ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2006, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200/20 "2006-01-23T16:06:16Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > With the program I’m studying now, I’m working in the labs, and I’m **important**. Out of curiosity, is it that \*you’re \* important, or your _job_ is important? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mind-your-own-damn-business/341200.md?page=2)