# Mindsets you just don't understand **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 8, 2005, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069 "2005-11-08T17:41:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/101 "2005-11-09T18:30:02Z")
> [@An Arky](#): > > People with Type A personality disorder. I can’t imagine being so driven to line someone else’s pockets. I can’t fathom _wanting_ to go around demanding other people perform at the same level of neurotic perfectionism as you (Type A Managers). I am utterly unable to understand why some people will work ungodly hours for some rich old boys’ club. What do you think’s gonna happen, they’re gonna let you in? HA! There are over a dozen (IIRC) generally recognized and accepted “personality disorders” but “Type A” is not one of them, by the way. A personality disorder is not the same thing as a “difficult or annoying personality.” (Sorry, but ignorance in regard to mental illness is a bit of a hotbutton item with me.) The mindset I don’t understand: entitlement. People who think the world owes them something. That just because other people have something, they should, too. Or that if they are asked to work for or earn something, it’s a form of oppression. ---
**Author:** ![onedayfishsale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onedayfishsale/32/4398_2.png) [@onedayfishsale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/onedayfishsale)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/102 "2005-11-09T18:34:12Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > Well, you were nitpicking my own (rather tongue-in-cheek) nitpick. > > I was reading it was a simple plural, rather than a possessive, but given the way the OP’s question was framed, you are correct, and i retract my own nitpick. Well, looks like two nitpicks equal a right…eventually. Glad we both got that out of our systems. Anyway, in the spirit of actually contributing something to this thread, _I_ don’t understand the mindset of drivers who don’t merge left (or whichever direction is prescribed) when instructed and instead tenaciously follow the shoulder. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/103 "2005-11-09T18:40:21Z")
> [@YaWanna](#): > > There are over a dozen (IIRC) generally recognized and accepted “personality disorders” but “Type A” is not one of them, by the way. A personality disorder is not the same thing as a “difficult or annoying personality.” (Sorry, but ignorance in regard to mental illness is a bit of a hotbutton item with me.) > > The mindset I don’t understand: entitlement. People who think the world owes them something. That just because other people have something, they should, too. Or that if they are asked to work for or earn something, it’s a form of oppression. Sorry about that; I do know the difference, I just put “disorder” on the end for effect. _I still think there’s something wrong with those Type A people, though._ ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/104 "2005-11-09T19:54:56Z")
Homophobia. I don’t mean necessarily religious objections (even though I think most of them are weak), but the whole, “eeeeewwwww, that’s so icky and wrong!” Why do you care? They’re not hurting you, it doesn’t concern you. Just live and let live. People who don’t bath. I am extremely anal about bathing-I HATE not being clean-being all sweaty and icky, and I HAVE to get into the shower after I’ve been out doing something that involves sweat and dirt, or I’m crawling the walls. How could you live if you’re stinking and dirty? Yuck. I can understand if people don’t particularly like to read-everyone has different tastes-but bragging about it? That’s just stupid. Extreme plastic surgery. Yuck. You do NOT look okay, you look gross. Just stop it! ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/105 "2005-11-09T19:59:39Z")
[ul] [li]Branding a _baby_ with the word “illegitimate.” If you feel that being born out of wedlock is wrong for whatever reason, the blame shouldn’t be placed on the child, but instead the parents. Whatever did those kids do to have such scorn heaped upon them and a terrible label for the rest of their lives?[/li][li]Except for the folks who cannot for religious reasons, those who absolutely REFUSE to be organ donors. I’ve heard lots of reasons, but to me, none make sense. Certainly because you’re NOT gonna need them and someone else might desperately.[/li][li]Not capitalizing. I get it if your text messaging, but if you’re trying to convey your message (especially in a hyper intelligent environment) as positively as possible, why would you not take that nano-second of extra time?[/li][li]People who look for mates that are basically “out of their league.” For example, if I set my sights on a Johnny Depp look-a-like, I’d definitely be wasting my time and energy. We’re talking gorgeous and rich versus ordinary, poor and with tons of baggage. Truly, if my only reasons were shallow for seeking someone like that, I’d definitely go without _ever_ having a date. However, I’m not talking about falling in love with whoever, despite their status, in the first place. If that’s what happens and if you can nail it as reciprocal, then I say knock yourself out.[/li][li]Outright denial of facts. Like space exploration or carbon dating. Saying you don’t believe is like claiming that’s not really the sun overhead. How on earth can you actually feel this to be correct? The mind boggles.[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/106 "2005-11-09T21:24:09Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Extreme plastic surgery. Yuck. You do NOT look okay, you look gross. Just stop it! Especially collagen injections. What’s the point of poofy lips? They don’t look comfortable, and they get all distorted when the person’s mouth moves. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/107 "2005-11-09T21:33:28Z")
> [@VCO3](#): > > The whole “Fuck the poor” and “every man for himself” mindset that seems to dominate most conservative/republican thinking. I just can’t comprehend feeling that way toward my fellow citizen when _any_ of us are one or two strokes of bad luck away from being in that same position. I don’t understand how they don’t realize that fucking the poor ultimately hurts everyone. Meh, I can’t fathom the career panhandler either. (And I see a LOT of them…I have for a lot of years.) I’ve got NO problems giving money to those that need it, but it’s gotta _help_ them. ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2005, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/108 "2005-11-09T23:48:14Z")
I can’t understand the mindset that advocating immigration reform equals wanting to take every immigrant you can get your hands on, legal or otherwise, and stick them in a camp for the rest of whenever. ’ I understand (but despise) the person who hates. I cannot understand the person who wants to _be hated_. I’m thinking of people like Fred Phelps who just seem to get off on nobody liking them. I mean, how fucked up does your radar have to be? Fred’s probably the most famous living example, but these dipshits also pop up on messageboards and chatrooms too. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/109 "2005-11-10T04:16:10Z")
I can’t understand the mindset of someone who won’t fly over to Europe to see things that interest them because they can’t sit that long on a nonstop and won’t take connections. I don’t get people who name all their kids with the same lettered name. That large family in Arkansas with 16 kids all with J names, I’m talking to you. The family at my school that has all J names and I cannot remember who the hell any of their kids are…I’m looking at you. The mom who has identical twin girls and they are both J names ( one semi decent, the other too trendy and doesn’t work with the pairing.) I’m talking to you. What is it with J names? ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/110 "2005-11-10T05:29:50Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I can’t understand the mindset of someone who won’t fly over to Europe to see things that interest them because they can’t sit that long on a nonstop and won’t take connections. > > I don’t get people who name all their kids with the same lettered name. That large family in Arkansas with 16 kids all with J names, I’m talking to you. The family at my school that has all J names and I cannot remember who the hell any of their kids are…I’m looking at you. The mom who has identical twin girls and they are both J names ( one semi decent, the other too trendy and doesn’t work with the pairing.) I’m talking to you. > > What is it with J names? I dont’ know…what _is_ it with J names? My brother and his wife (both of whom have names that start with J) have four kids that they named all with J names. That’s really weird that you know all those families with the same, um…idiosyncracy. The mindset I don’t get is people who always assume the worst of others. I mean, a healthy dose of realism is good, but I know people who always take what others say the wrong way or always think everyone has some ulterior motive. I also don’t get people who don’t understand that several people can look at the same information and derive different conclusions from it. I’ve been hanging out on a couple different message boards where parenting issues have come up or are the main topic, and the dogmatism is a bit shocking to me. With parenting, especially, it’s all about risk management - there are going to be pros and cons to pretty much everything. There are a lot of people who are simply convinced that if you don’t see things their way, you’re either uninformed or abusive. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/111 "2005-11-10T05:44:53Z")
> [@Jeep's Phoenix](#): > > Exactly! Agreed! I don’t understand the mindset of a woman, who meets a man with 5 kids by 5 different women, who doesn’t pay child support for any of them or **spend time** with any of them - and proceeds to get pregnant by this guy. What in the hell makes you think you are going to be any f’ing different? People who, when hearing I work in feral cat TNR/rescue, proceed to tell me how “we should just drown them all” or “they make good target practice”. Is that supposed to impress me? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/112 "2005-11-10T05:56:02Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I can’t understand the mindset of someone who won’t fly over to Europe to see things that interest them because they can’t sit that long on a nonstop and won’t take connections. I agree with you on that one. People in Massachusetts drive me crazy. They spend thousands of dollars to spend their vacation on Cape Cod 40 miles from home. I always ask them why they don’t go to Europe or something. “It’s too far” they say. You don’t have to take the Mayflower back. Hell, it takes 3 - 5 hours to drive to the outer Cape on a busy summer day. You can be in Europe in 8 hours door-to-door. I have flown there for the weekend several times. What is this “We only have a week crap?” Fly over at night like I do and you won’t even miss any time. Some people will never go to Europe or other places overseas because they think it is too far even though they have no problem driving an extended day or two to Disneyland. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/113 "2005-11-10T07:57:16Z")
Attention whores. “OMIGOD why doesn’t he CALL!!! I know I shouldn’t have said what I said last night; I am so STOOPID! [ten minute play-by-play of everything that happened last night] He must totally HATE ME!” (Yeah, I can’t imagine why he doesn’t call.) Then, after he’s called, they go right into “OMIGOD I stepped in somebody’s GUM! I just got these SHOOOOOOES and now they’re RUINED!” I wonder sometimes what these people do when they have a real problem, or if they’re so shallow that truly vital things don’t affect them emotionally. People who play favorites among their children. Especially when they hold one up as an example to the others, or give one a hard time for not being like all the others. Touchy subject on this board, but I also don’t understand people who, when they find out that they can’t have a baby without a whole lot of medical intervention, don’t at least look into adoption instead of going ahead with the medical intervention. Yes, I know adoption is not like ordering from a catalog, but is it really any **more** difficult than fertility treatments and so forth? It breaks my heart to think of the babies and children who are already here, but don’t get placed because so many people are hellbent on passing on their own DNA. (Not to mention people who are opposed to gay couples adopting, or mixed-race adoption.) People who want to raise their kids in a bubble, striving to shield them from anything and everything that could possibly be traumatic. You can **guide** your kids through bad experiences, but you have to let them **have** the occasional bad experience so they can **learn** from it. Like Dory said in **Finding Nemo** , “If you never let anything happen to him…nothing’ll ever happen to him.” People who sneer at and make crude comments about people who are talking a language other than English, or who “look foreign”. So that woman’s wearing a head scarf. What’s it to you? So those people are talking Spanish **to each other**. They’re not “taking over”, they’re minding their own business, so why don’t you mind yours? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/114 "2005-11-10T08:28:54Z")
Also, word on not getting the Dale Earnhardt canonization. Now, I can understand the fanship: he was a nice guy, and very good at what he did. I can understand being upset that he died, and wanting to memorialize him…but not to this extent. My memory could be faulty, but I don’t think **anyone** in sports has ever been placed on such a high pedestal after dying. I don’t even think Beatles fans took their grieving to such extremes after John Lennon died, and that’s pretty incredible, considering that Lennon was murdered senselessly, while Earnhardt’s death was a hazard of his profession. In short, I can understand having a #3 on your car, but not juxtaposing it with a “Remember 9/11” sticker. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/115 "2005-11-10T08:52:37Z")
Being proud of things you had nothing to do with. I understand how you can derive pleasure from knowing about your race, nationality, thrice-great-grand-parents’ countries of origin, hair color, and so on, but out-and-out _pride_? Utterly alien to me. (Note that everything changes if you are _persecuted_ because of that uncontrollable trait, and your pride is a coping mechanism. I can understand that. I’m talking about modern-day Americans who are proud of being of German descent or an _n_th-generation Mayflower passenger descendent or so on.) I can’t understand people who feel the need to annoy other people who they don’t know, in public (or semi-public) fora online or off. Why would anyone feel the desire to make a pest of themselves simply to bother people they don’t know from Adam’s off ox? Dogmatists. On a related note, the willfull-ignorant (to mangle a term from Kipling). People who get a charge from being around people they don’t know. I know this is hardly in a leage with anything else I’ve mentioned, but I seriously cannot comprehend how they manage to deal with strangers without feeling worn-down after a few minutes. Similarly, I don’t understand people who need to be around people all the time and seriously dislike being alone. (On a tangent, I don’t get how some people can learn a foreign language. I either cannot or it is so difficult for me I’ve never been able to succeed in spite of my multiple attempts. This doesn’t qualify as a mindset I don’t comprehend, but a skill I don’t possess.) ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/116 "2005-11-10T12:32:24Z")
I don’t get people who think there’s only _one_ right answer for things. It’s _only_ right to be a stay at home mom; it’s _only_ right for a married couple to have children; it’s _only_ right to go to college. The list goes on and on. How do these folks _not_ see that most answers are _not_ one size fits all?? I can understand giving your input/sharing your experience with others when it seems appropriate. But the whole mindset of “it’s right for me, so it _must_ be right for everyone” just eludes me. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/117 "2005-11-10T13:00:21Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I don’t get people who name all their kids with the same lettered name. That large family in Arkansas with 16 kids all with J names, I’m talking to you. The family at my school that has all J names and I cannot remember who the hell any of their kids are…I’m looking at you. > > What is it with J names? No kidding. It must be something about the “J.” My aunt and uncle both had “J” names and then named their three kids with “J” names, too. (At least they stopped at three!) On the flip side, there’s a family at my son’s school with four kids, and all four name rhyme… sort of. Chayton, Grayson, Layton and Nathon. I just roll my eyes whenever I hear one of the names. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/118 "2005-11-10T13:46:58Z")
People who deny facts–If your religion doesn’t let women be priest/ministers/rabis/whatever, that’s discrimination against women. “No it isn’t.” Tell me you agree with it, but don’t deny the basic facts. You can have your own opinions, but not facts. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/119 "2005-11-10T18:10:58Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I don’t get people who name all their kids with the same lettered name. That large family in Arkansas with 16 kids all with J names, I’m talking to you. The family at my school that has all J names and I cannot remember who the hell any of their kids are…I’m looking at you. The mom who has identical twin girls and they are both J names ( one semi decent, the other too trendy and doesn’t work with the pairing.) I’m talking to you. > > What is it with J names? It’s not just J names. My father is one of 5 kids, all of whom have the first initial D. I always used to get them mixed up as a kid. It has made it really hard for Mr. Neville to learn my aunt’s and uncles’ names- I still don’t think he entirely has it down after two years of marriage. Be humane to your eventual grandchildren-in-law- don’t name all your kids names starting with the same letter. ---
**Author:** ![Lisa\_Ann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lisa\_Ann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa_Ann)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/120 "2005-11-10T18:28:20Z")
I don’t understand anyone who would take on or refinance to a interest-only loan with an adjustable rate. :smack: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069.md?page=7)