# Mindsets you just don't understand **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 8, 2005, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069 "2005-11-08T17:41:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/141 "2005-11-11T22:16:11Z")
Anyone over here that feels they’ve got a certain mindset pegged and can explain it to the rest of us, wanna try putting it out to the masses in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=344203) thread? So I won’t partake of any hijacking that might not be understood either. 😉 Oh, and I agree 100% with **neutron star** on those dealing with suicidal ideation. When you’re there, one doesn’t seem to be able to see much else. ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/142 "2005-11-11T22:18:54Z")
i’m 42, so I shall wear my diamonds with impunity. 🙂 And my sapphire, topazes, garnet, pearls, aquamarines… ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/143 "2005-11-11T22:39:10Z")
The idea that music in places where one meets prospective partners must be loud enough to preclude conversation. It’s like a kind of eugenics to keep the shy, the bookish, and the hearing-impaired from polluting the bloodline. Hazing. Any kind really. And people who have been through it and defend it. ---
**Author:** ![Burrido](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Burrido](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burrido)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2005, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/144 "2005-11-11T23:52:32Z")
“I’m 5’1” so I’ll go and buy the biggest fuckin thing on the road." Especially soccer moms. “I drive an hour commute every moring to work, so I’ll buy the extend cab full size pickup that gets 15 mpg.” Then I’ll bitch about gas prices. ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/145 "2005-11-12T00:04:34Z")
Oh - another one: people who can’t comprehend why others should not live their lives the same way _they_ do (and I’m not talking about disagreements about religion, morality, etc.). I’ve spoken to people who honestly think that just because they don’t like something (perfectly legal & harmless), nobody should like it or even have access to it, and vice versa - “I like to play chess/sew my own clothes/go fishing/etc., why don’t you do it? You should! Everybody should.” Big giant WTF!?! ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/146 "2005-11-12T01:43:32Z")
I don’t get people who don’t try to look after their health. People who are chronically overweight or out of shape who don’t realize they are and or don’t do anything about it. I don’t get people who won’t try something new. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/147 "2005-11-12T01:46:23Z")
Hasn’t anyone in this thread taken courses in Cultural Anthropology, Introduction to Sociology, or Introduction into Psychology at some point in their life? It really isn’t all that difficult to figure out why people do the things they do with just a little observation. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/148 "2005-11-12T01:47:45Z")
By and by, my last post wasn’t meant to be a smug holier than thou statement. I certainly don’t understand why people do a lot of things but I’m able to figure out why if I just ask questions or make observations, at least in general. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/149 "2005-11-12T04:23:58Z")
Always referring to peoples’ kids as their “adopted children”, if they adopted. For instance, whenever there’s an article about Tom Cruise or Nicole Kidman, and their kids are mentioned, it’s always, “with adopted son Connor”, or “with her adopted daughter, Isabella.” Not that there’s anything wrong with being adopted, but it’s as if they’re inferring that somehow, their kids aren’t “really” their kids. That pisses me off. And that reminds me-Scientology. THAT completely blows my mind. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/150 "2005-11-12T06:05:11Z")
**Guin** and **YaWanna** , it doesn’t sound like you’re the kind of people I’m talking about. I was strictly referring to the people who obsess over their jewelry, run up debt for it, wheedle it out of their SOs, and brag about how much it cost and what karat it is. It’s the mindset, per the thread, not the wearing of it. So you guys are in the clear! ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/151 "2005-11-12T07:43:10Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > Being proud of things you had nothing to do with. I understand how you can derive pleasure from knowing about your race, nationality, thrice-great-grand-parents’ countries of origin, hair color, and so on, but out-and-out _pride_? Utterly alien to me. > > (Note that everything changes if you are _persecuted_ because of that uncontrollable trait, and your pride is a coping mechanism. I can understand that. I’m talking about modern-day Americans who are proud of being of German descent or an _n_th-generation Mayflower passenger descendent or so on.) Okay, I know this is probably going to get me pitted and possibly banned, but this just annoys the hell out of me. It’s wierd because for the most part I agree with you. I think it’s pretty stupid to be proud of things you can’t control. I think the whole idea of nobility, royalty and inhereted titles is a sham(Needless to say, I couldn’t understand the big thing over Princess Diana dying). Likewise, if George Washington was your great grandfather, big whoop. But I’m also annoyed by the idea that if you are proud of some part of your acestry or your group, it’s great for certain groups, but for other groups, it’s pretty horrible. It seems like a PC double standard and BS to boot. And I don’t mean “My race/ancestry is superior to yours” but rather “I’m proud to be Prussian/Mayan/Sicilian/Egyption”. There is a distinction, but some people only seem to make it depending on what group you are. ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/152 "2005-11-12T13:38:54Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > Okay, I know this is probably going to get me pitted and possibly banned, but this just annoys the hell out of me. It’s wierd because for the most part I agree with you. I think it’s pretty stupid to be proud of things you can’t control. I think the whole idea of nobility, royalty and inhereted titles is a sham(Needless to say, I couldn’t understand the big thing over Princess Diana dying). Likewise, if George Washington was your great grandfather, big whoop. > > But I’m also annoyed by the idea that if you are proud of some part of your acestry or your group, it’s great for certain groups, but for other groups, it’s pretty horrible. It seems like a PC double standard and BS to boot. > > And I don’t mean “My race/ancestry is superior to yours” but rather “I’m proud to be Prussian/Mayan/Sicilian/Egyption”. There is a distinction, but some people only seem to make it depending on what group you are. 😕 Why would this get you pitted or banned? ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/153 "2005-11-12T14:07:32Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > But I’m also annoyed by the idea that if you are proud of some part of your acestry or your group, **it’s great for certain groups, but for other groups, it’s pretty horrible.** It seems like a PC double standard and BS to boot. > > And I don’t mean “My race/ancestry is superior to yours” but rather “I’m proud to be Prussian/Mayan/Sicilian/Egyption”. There is a distinction, but some people only seem to make it depending on what group you are. (Bolding is mine) Can you give an exaple of what you mean, because I’m confused. The only times I think it can be held against you to be “proud” of your ancestry is when that pride turn to a superiority complex (that perhaps leads to violence/racism, ie white supremacy or xenophobia against immigrants), which you say you are not including in your definition. Also- when you are so proud of your ancestry that you can’t aknowledge wrongs that were done in the past. Such as “I’m so proud to be Norwegian that I won’t admit that perhaps Lutefisk was a bad invention” (apologies to any Norweigians out there ;)). Anyway- I just haven’t seen people being put down for pride in their heritage, for no good reason, so please tell me what you have seen that makes you say this. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/154 "2005-11-12T14:09:28Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Anyway- I just haven’t seen people being put down for pride in their heritage, for no good reason, so please tell me what you have seen that makes you say this. Other than racist people who do that out of their superiority or xenophobic stances of course- should have added that! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Sevastopol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Sevastopol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevastopol)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/155 "2005-11-12T15:32:43Z")
Ms Spears is one of the most sexy women in America. What, there’s c. 300 million people there. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/156 "2005-11-12T19:51:21Z")
**HPL** : That isn’t what I meant. I meant that if you can maintain (or develop) pride _in the face of active persecution_, it is an admirable trait and a sign of courage. (The alternative, of course, being buckling under completely and trying to ‘pass’ as a member of the oppressing group if you possibly can.) Let me give you some examples: [ul] [li]Being proud of being black in 1930s Alabama was admirable because of the Jim Crow laws and lynch mobs and all of the other racism both _de jure_ and _de facto_. Being proud of being black in 1990s Alabama? Not so much.[/li][li]Being proud of having Slavic ancestry in late 1930s Germany was admirable. Suicidal, but admirable.[/li][li]Being proud of being gay in a very anti-gay region. (The definition of ‘very anti-gay’ changes over time and culture, but modern-day San Francisco probably does _not_ qualify.)[/li][/ul]I don’t like PC-ism or racism of any form whatsoever. This is a list of people bearing up under societal and even legal pressures conniving to make them buckle under and conform, either through death or denying who they really are. **IvoryTowerDenizen** : Don’t knock lutefisk until you’ve tried it. I love it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/157 "2005-11-12T19:56:59Z")
Okay, I withdraw my complaint. It intially struck me as being a type of double standred that is popular among the more PC circles, but upon clarification, it obviously isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/158 "2005-11-12T20:16:15Z")
> [@neutron star](#): > > I don’t get the mindset of people who think that more than a miniscule percentage of people who indulge in these activities intentionally set out to become addicts. Almost every drug out there has more infrequent dabblers than hardcore addicts among its user base. Every person who indulges takes a risk. Some win, some lose. > > I also don’t get the “no matter how crappy someone’s life is” mindset. To a person who thinks about nothing but suicide from dawn to dusk, a few moments or hours of pleasure are worth more than you could ever imagine. My comment was not about the ones who set out to become addicts. I wasn’t aware that anyone would purposely make that choice. I was refering to those people who don’t have the willpower to keep from giving in to whatever the addiction provides them with. It’s obvious by your comments, that you’re assuming I’ve never dealt with addiction and/or depression. I’ve been arround addiction of some type my entire life and have been dealing with severe deression for the past 20 years. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/159 "2005-11-12T21:33:30Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > **Guin** and **YaWanna** , it doesn’t sound like you’re the kind of people I’m talking about. I was strictly referring to the people who obsess over their jewelry, run up debt for it, wheedle it out of their SOs, and brag about how much it cost and what karat it is. It’s the mindset, per the thread, not the wearing of it. So you guys are in the clear! Oh, I know which ones you mean. For most of those people, it’s a status symbol. But for those who like jewel just because it’s pretty and sparkly, [this is a cool site](http://silverjewelryclub.com/). Oh, and I don’t REALLY mean anyone under forty who wears diamonds is tacky, that was just a joke. I just don’t get why diamonds are so prized above all other stones. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069/160 "2005-11-12T21:36:54Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I don’t get the **Git R Done** thing either. Wha? Git R Done is a catch phrase for a comedian, Larry the Cable Guy. He’s been on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour with Jeff Foxworthy, Ron White and Bill Engvall. IMHO, he’s the worst of the four, with a Good Ol’ Boy Southern Schick that isn’t near as funny as Ron White’s “I got thrown out of a bar in New York City,” Engvall’s “Here’s Your Sign” or Foxworthy’s “You Might be a Redneck If.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mindsets-you-just-dont-understand/330069.md?page=9)