# Mini-doper rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 6, 2008, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010 "2008-12-06T16:30:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Jeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/61 "2008-12-09T07:13:49Z")
+1 ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/62 "2008-12-09T11:36:57Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore **[SIZE=“3”]I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION** et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris **I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION** nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident **I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION** , sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. > > Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium **I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION** , totam rem aperiam, eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt explicabo **I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION**. Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit, sed quia consequuntur magni dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt. Neque porro quisquam est, qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur **I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION** , adipisci velit, sed quia non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem. Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam, nisi ut aliquid ex ea commodi consequatur **I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION**. Quis autem vel eum iure reprehenderit qui in ea voluptate velit esse quam nihil molestiae consequatur **I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION** , vel illum qui dolorem eum fugiat quo voluptas nulla pariatur?[/SIZE] I love it when you talk dirty like that. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/63 "2008-12-09T11:55:17Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore **[SIZE=“3”]I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION** et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris **I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION** nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident **I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION** , sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.?[/SIZE] Are you my mother? No clearly NOT, she owns a television she just “NEVER TURNS IT ON!” Like I give a fuck! ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/64 "2008-12-09T14:56:58Z")
> [@TwistofFate](#): > > 1. Hi Opal. > > It wasn’t funny 9 years ago. Nobody uses the Hi Opal thing any more. Complaining about its usage went out of style 3 yrs ago. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/65 "2008-12-09T18:05:19Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore **[SIZE=“3”]I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION** et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris **I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION** nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident **I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION** , sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. > > Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium **I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION** , totam rem aperiam, eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt explicabo **I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION**. Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit, sed quia consequuntur magni dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt. Neque porro quisquam est, qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur **I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION** , adipisci velit, sed quia non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem. Ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam, nisi ut aliquid ex ea commodi consequatur **I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION**. Quis autem vel eum iure reprehenderit qui in ea voluptate velit esse quam nihil molestiae consequatur **I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION** , vel illum qui dolorem eum fugiat quo voluptas nulla pariatur?[/SIZE] They can’t watch tv anyway because they’re too busy going to see Obscurey McWhoCares LIVE!!1!!! ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/66 "2008-12-09T19:01:22Z")
This is about the Dope itself rather than the people on it, but… Is anyone else annoyed at the way a thread will jump around when you first open it? Especially if you’re going to the first unread post. The thread opens positioned at the first unread post; you start to read it; and suddenly the gremlins grab control away and make the page scroll. You try to scroll back, and then it shifts again in the other direction and you overshoot. I know it’s because the ads take a bit to load and they shift the content when they finally appear, but DAMN it bugs me. ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2008, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/67 "2008-12-09T19:33:39Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > This. God damn it, **prr** , you had to go and prove me a hypocrite because I actually laughed at that. A three-step joke (turning the first part of my post into the one obvious joke I _didn’t_ pre-empt in the second) in a single word…that’s just convoluted enough for me to appreciate. Well played. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2008, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/68 "2008-12-10T22:57:52Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Not particularly. Are you: humorless; in a bad mood; being sarcastic; none/some/all of the preceeding? Seriously. Sure it was precitable, but it was well timed, and in that way, “well played.” Played more like a mouth comb than a harpsichord, but then again, if you were more familiar with the earlier work of McWhocare (there is no “s”), you would know what it is capable of. Anyway, my addition - gripe threads about inconsequential message board shit. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/69 "2008-12-12T13:07:47Z")
> [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > This is about the Dope itself rather than the people on it, but… > > Is anyone else annoyed at the way a thread will jump around when you first open it? Especially if you’re going to the first unread post. The thread opens positioned at the first unread post; you start to read it; and suddenly the gremlins grab control away and make the page scroll. You try to scroll back, and then it shifts again in the other direction and you overshoot. > > I know it’s because the ads take a bit to load and they shift the content when they finally appear, but DAMN it bugs me. Yes. (One-word responses like “Yes” or “No” really bother me, for some reason.) ---
**Author:** ![Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3da27b/32.png) [@Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nikki_Tikki_Tavi)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/70 "2008-12-12T16:54:02Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Ah, yes, the inhabitants of Doper Land, where everyone has an I.Q. of 250, has a medical condition to explain their obesity, and always uses turn signals while driving. …their SUVs, which they legitimately need and NEVER operate while they’re using their cell phones. ---
**Author:** ![grayhairedmomma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/47e85d/32.png) [@grayhairedmomma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grayhairedmomma)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/71 "2008-12-12T17:46:53Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > Often accompanied by insulting comments about people who don’t read 10 books a week or people who dare to enjoy television (except for Buffy the Vampire Slayer type stuff, which is okay for some reason). The book thing bothers me sometimes. Especially the people who say they read while brushing their teeth or other activities like that. You know, I think that’s really kinda sad to have your nose stuck in a book that much, and I enjoy reading as much as possible. Also, the ridiculing of people who don’t have a book with them and who just sit and stare at the wall or out the window when in a waiting area or on public transportation. I think it’s pretty loathesome to think of less of people who aren’t doing exactly what you’d do in such a trivial setting. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/72 "2008-12-12T19:34:38Z")
> [@grayhairedmomma](#): > > Especially the people who say they read while brushing their teeth or other activities like that. You know, I think that’s really kinda sad to have your nose stuck in a book that much, and I enjoy reading as much as possible. I love reading, but I think some people are a little afraid to be with their own thoughts or to get outside and interact with the world on occasion. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/73 "2008-12-12T21:49:56Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Ah, yes, the inhabitants of Doper Land, where everyone has an I.Q. of 250, has a medical condition to explain their obesity, and always uses turn signals while driving. This type of response, while absolutely a perfect fit for this thread, seems to be jarring when placed all over the boards. And I’m not saying that featherlou does this, but there’s apparently a couple of Doper’s who’ll routinely drop this opinion anywhere they see fit. As for my other contributions… [ol] [li]Whenever a poster accuses another of something that’s then clarified or rectified and the former doesn’t say shit after the fact in response. Listen, if it was important enough to bring up, show a modicum of civility to address their response after. This one, I’m sorry to admit, truly pisses me off. [/li][li]Being intentially obtuse. Example: “Kicking puppies is bad!” Poster X asks why come. Reasons follow. Poster X says “But that’s not true.” Reasons follow again, except even more in-depth. Poster X asks why that’s the case and “What about this?” Etc., etc., etc. Wash, rinse and repeat ad nauseum.[/li][li]Always assuming your life experiences are the same as everyone else’s and all and sundry should follow your advice due to it. Just because you had the most wonderful daycare existence in the history of the world, doesn’t mean everyone else did. Further, poo pooing any other reality just takes the cake. [/li][/ol] ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/74 "2008-12-15T19:26:42Z")
One more, [a fresh example of which I just spotted today](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=497579). GQ post: “How can I do [something]?” GQ response: “Why the hell would you want to do that?” Gee, that was useful to the poster, huh? I’ve probably done it myself a couple of times. Also, by admitting to possibly doing something irritating, I guess I’ve set myself up for exile from Doperland, where NOBODY ever does anything irritating. I guess exile entitles me to use an SUV for more than just hauling horse trailers over mountain passes. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/75 "2008-12-15T20:20:32Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > fat puppy 1. Mmm, fat puppies. 2. When come back, bring reading skills 3. I for one welcome our new fat puppies with reading skills. On a more serious note: People warn about pdffiles, why not impose a warning on youtube links or any streaming video content. Yes, I can mouse over and see that it goes to youtube. I can do the same and see that the link is to a pdf. It’s polite to warn when linking to something that uses more than basic bandwidth and/or potentially makes a lot of noises. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/76 "2008-12-15T20:24:27Z")
I hate it when people post a cite after reading just the first two paragraphs, only to find out later that the rest of the article included important points diametrically opposed to what they were trying to prove. I hate it when people disagree just to disagree. It doesn’t make them look smart, it makes them look like assholes. I hate it when people come in to a thread that makes a general statement and attempt to shoot down the OP on the basis of some anecdote or some strange and rare exception that doesn’t address the primary point of the thread. For example, if a thread says, “Many people like sex but would like to have more of it. I’ve tried this to have more - what have you tried?” someone will invariably come in and say, “No, they don’t like sex! My wife hates it. She has XYZ disease that makes her hate it.” That may be true, but that still doesn’t disprove the OP or provide any relevant, helpful feedback. I hate it when people blame the poster for a situation either beyond their control or that they’re trying to correct. I hate it when posters latch on to one portion of an OP’s statement and won’t let it go or start interrogating the OP. As in, “I thought this argument was pretty straightforward, but my friend didn’t. Do you think it’s black and white?” Then the response might be, “Why? Do you have something against grey? What about turquoise? Or magenta? Why do you hate all other colors? Are you colorist?” I hate it when posters make fun of other posters’ religions. It’s one thing to say, “Hey, as far as I’m concerned, you can prostrate yourself to the Flying Rabbit of Henge; just know what you’re getting into,” but another thing to call someone else’s religion fairytales or stupid, particularly in threads where the OP has specifically asked about a religious subject. I mean, I know many dopers here are agnostic or atheist (I’m agnostic myself), but the best way to get someone to tune you out is to shit all over their beliefs. You can’t convince someone to do anything if you’re insulting them or laughing at them. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/77 "2008-12-16T00:50:25Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > This type of response, while absolutely a perfect fit for this thread, seems to be jarring when placed all over the boards. And I’m not saying that featherlou does this, but there’s apparently a couple of Doper’s who’ll routinely drop this opinion anywhere they see fit. **elmwood** is who I always notice going off about it and it drives me up the wall. As annoying as the people he’s mocking are, his constant mention of Doperland and its denizens is magnitudes more obnoxious and it seems he’s finally been able to work it into our lexicon through sheer repetition. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/78 "2008-12-16T01:30:17Z")
Another aggravation in the “this” saga. Now I’m seeing people say “This” when they disagree with the post! GAH! ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/79 "2008-12-16T01:39:55Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Another aggravation in the “this” saga. Now I’m seeing people say “This” when they disagree with the post! GAH! Oh, I’m with you on the dislike of “This”. It manages to strike me as being both arrogant _and_ lazy at the same time, with a twist of pointedness thrown in for good measure, then shaken thoroughly before being served cold in a frosted glass. Look, if you agree/disagree with what the person said, then type that! “Poster X said exactly what I was going to say”, or “This is an example of what I’m talking about; people thinking that Puppies provide more cuddles per hour than Kittens!” and so on. But, as I’ve recently discovered, I apparently have Board Invisibility, which means I can say pretty much whatever I like an no-one will notice, since apparently no-one reads my posts anymore. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010/80 "2008-12-16T05:46:18Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > But, as I’ve recently discovered, I apparently have Board Invisibility, which means I can say pretty much whatever I like an no-one will notice, since apparently no-one reads my posts anymore. 😉 Oh, shush. I recognize your name, and read. You know what bugs me? New poster introduction threads. “Hi, I’m Sally and I’m new, please don’t bring out the goats and squids and shit.” Fuck, I hate that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-doper-rants/476010.md?page=5)