# Mini-rants about members of the opposite sex **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 2, 2010, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334 "2010-07-02T19:18:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/41 "2010-07-03T01:37:42Z")
> [@pope\_hentai](#): > > i never really understood it until i moved to tennessee… when i lived in michigan it dodnt matter… but here a brown recluse bite can happen before you notice, and in a few days can leave one helluva permanent mark if not taken care of. ☹ This and the fact that I absolutely mega-freaked out by anything light and bug-gey crawling on my skin and possibly into my clothes. So, not afraid exactly but . . . I can’t talk about it anymore. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/42 "2010-07-03T01:56:27Z")
Women: We might be from different planets but we **do** share a common language, and it is **not** the language of veiled hints. If I do not know why you are upset, it is not because I don’t care about your feelings; it is because you have not told me, in plain words, why you are upset, and it is not my responsibility to translate the language you are using. (“But you would if you cared!” :rolleyes:) Oh, and another vote for: Learn to give/take directions, already, and in terms of “north” or “west,” not just “left” and “right.” That would be really helpful, especially over the phone. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/43 "2010-07-03T04:00:17Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > Women: > Also, those women in their late '40s or early '50’s, please realize that when you can go from crying to raging to happy to pouting to depressed and back to angry within the space of 15 minutes, that tends to make your partner a tad confused. Not sure why you added the qualifier “in their late 40s or early 50s”. Women: This goes along with the “men don’t listen” thing - when I ask “how was your day?” I don’t want you to actually recount the entire 10 hours in real time. Just give me the highlights, if there are any, or just say “fine” or “tiring” or whatever. I’ll be able to deduce plenty from that. But Jesus, no matter how much I love you, I don’t give a shit about every tedious bit of minutiae. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/44 "2010-07-03T04:15:07Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Not sure why you added the qualifier “in their late 40s or early 50s”. I will assume you are a younger man, and have not had the delights of vicariously experiencing menopause. You lucky, lucky bastard. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/45 "2010-07-03T05:07:00Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > I will assume you are a younger man, and have not had the delights of vicariously experiencing menopause. > > You lucky, lucky bastard. No, I got that - just saying the behavior’s not necessarily restricted to menopausal women. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/46 "2010-07-03T06:07:46Z")
Women: Think what a wonderful world it would be, if you approached sex **exactly** the same way men do! 🙂 Well, OK, not all that wonderful . . . Nobody would ever get any work done . . . ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/47 "2010-07-03T08:27:13Z")
> [@Nothar](#): > > Women: If you find yourself having to constantly repeat yourself when talking to your man when he is watching TV, reading a book, staring into space, etc., it is not because he does not care or because he is conciously ignoring you, it is because you talk…all…the…time and men seriously do not realize you said anything because your voice sounds the exact same as background noise to him. Once you say “are you listening to me?” in a slightly louder voice the man then has to access a previously shut down area of his brain to realize that you were actually talking to him. This is not the man’s fault. He has sub-conciously developed this mechanism to block out your voice as a survival technique. No. My husband is the one who babbles about carburetors or his damned farm. If I am speaking, it’s because I have something to say. I might want him to do something, or I’m telling him something he needs to know. I only babble when I’m a bit tipsy…and I only drink maybe a couple of times a month. Now, he might have learned that it’s OK to tune out women because his mother and sisters babbled, but if I tell him something like “I’m throwing out the scraps of the roast”, it’s because I know that he’s going to want to know if there’s any roast left later on, after we’ve taken the trash out. Try LISTENING, and you might find that what you consider constant talk is actually information which you can use. I’ll grant you that SOME women do talk all the time (my mother is notorious for it), but not all women do it. And some men do it, too. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/48 "2010-07-03T08:46:50Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > No. My husband is the one who babbles about carburetors or his damned farm. If I am speaking, it’s because I have something to say. I might want him to do something, or I’m telling him something he needs to know. I only babble when I’m a bit tipsy…and I only drink maybe a couple of times a month. Now, he might have learned that it’s OK to tune out women because his mother and sisters babbled, but if I tell him something like “I’m throwing out the scraps of the roast”, it’s because I know that he’s going to want to know if there’s any roast left later on, after we’ve taken the trash out. > > Try LISTENING, and you might find that what you consider constant talk is actually information which you can use. > > I’ll grant you that SOME women do talk all the time (my mother is notorious for it), but not all women do it. And some men do it, too. The point is that listening is something we have to actively turn on, and it’s not our fault if you don’t get our attention first before telling us something. It’s a basic communication skill to realize that the first part of what you say may not be heard. If it’s important, get my attention first. And this goes for either sex when they pull the “but I told you” thing. If you didn’t verify that the other person heard you, then you have no reason to assume your message got across. Especially if the other person appears to be doing something else. And a grunt response in that situation is often insufficient. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/49 "2010-07-03T09:21:22Z")
> [@](#): > > If it’s important, get my attention first. Assume that it’s ALWAYS important. Assume that I’m gonna hit you upside the head to get your attention, if you don’t automatically turn your attention towards me. Because if I need to do a pole dance to get your attention, then I WILL find new ways to get it. Ways that will at least afford me some amusement while you learn that what I say is just about always important. And if you don’t acknowledge information as a general rule, and then get pissed when I ask if you heard, then don’t be surprised when I slap you upside the head as a matter of course to ensure that you’re paying attention. Seriously. Paying attention to someone when spoken to is basic courtesy. Tuning someone out is basic DIScourtesy. I joke about slapping people upside the head…but how poorly socialized is someone who can’t be bothered to listen when spoken to? That’s something that should be learned in primary school. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/50 "2010-07-03T09:39:12Z")
Speaking of speaking… If it is at night, and we are in bed, and the lights are off, and our eyes are closed, and you ask me, “Can you sleep?” the answer is always going to be “No.” Y’know why? BECAUSE YOU’RE FUCKING TALKING TO ME! ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/51 "2010-07-03T09:42:37Z")
> [@Patch](#): > > Women:That little bottle of perfume is not a single use container – it is not necessary to use all of it at once. I don’t need to smell you coming from a block away while upwind. This is not really a woman thing… It seems to be most common with older women (50+) and younger men (20-30). And the dudes have much poorer choices in their scents _to begin with_. A double or triple dose of a good perfume might be overpowering, but half a can of Axe is positively _suffocating_. (There was a time period when my mother had started overdoing it (she’s gone back to when she knew how to put perfume on, though), and my brother hadn’t yet learned not to…I’m still surprised I survived, and my asthma wasn’t diagnosed earlier.) ---
**Author:** ![Acantha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@Acantha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acantha)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/52 "2010-07-03T09:55:45Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > This is not really a woman thing… > > It seems to be most common with older women (50+) and younger men (20-30). > > And the dudes have much poorer choices in their scents _to begin with_. A double or triple dose of a good perfume might be overpowering, but half a can of Axe is positively _suffocating_. > > (There was a time period when my mother had started overdoing it (she’s gone back to when she knew how to put perfume on, though), and my brother hadn’t yet learned not to…I’m still surprised I survived, and my asthma wasn’t diagnosed earlier.) Nah, they’re all awful. I truly can’t say which is worse, Axe or some maggot choking floral perfume. Other than little old ladies and teenagers I haven’t seen any single age group corner the market on this particular offense. _Most_ people wear way too much. All of you who wear too much, male or female, just need to stop it already. You stink. I’d rather hang out with 30 flatulent cigar smokers than 2 people bathed in cologne. _barf_ ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/53 "2010-07-03T10:51:34Z")
Ladies: Please tell me when you borrow my razor to shave your legs. You didn’t fool me by putting it back in the same exact spot when you finished using it because after nearly slicing my jugular I kind of know that something’s up. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/54 "2010-07-03T10:58:34Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Speaking of speaking… > > If it is at night, and we are in bed, and the lights are off, and our eyes are closed, and you ask me, “Can you sleep?” the answer is always going to be “No.” Y’know why? BECAUSE YOU’RE FUCKING TALKING TO ME! There are exactly two acceptable reasons for this 1)the wife/SO has had a life changing event recently ( passing of a loved one etc.) - under these circumstances you are a dick if you don’t man-up and take care of the person you love in a time of need (and we all wake up at night scared sometimes ) 2)Oral sex ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/55 "2010-07-03T11:01:25Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Assume that it’s ALWAYS important. Well, I tried that, but it turned out to be soooo not true. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/56 "2010-07-03T11:16:28Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Assume that it’s ALWAYS important. Assume that I’m gonna hit you upside the head to get your attention, if you don’t automatically turn your attention towards me. Because if I need to do a pole dance to get your attention, then I WILL find new ways to get it. Ways that will at least afford me some amusement while you learn that what I say is just about always important. And if you don’t acknowledge information as a general rule, and then get pissed when I ask if you heard, then don’t be surprised when I slap you upside the head as a matter of course to ensure that you’re paying attention. > > Seriously. Paying attention to someone when spoken to is basic courtesy. Tuning someone out is basic DIScourtesy. I joke about slapping people upside the head…but how poorly socialized is someone who can’t be bothered to listen when spoken to? That’s something that should be learned in primary school. No. No guy is at a woman’s beck and call all the time. They do their own thing, and when their mind is preoccupied, they will not hear you. If you are too stupid to comprehend that, then you deserve a guy who doesn’t listen to you. I am not poorly socialized because I have a one tracked mind–like nearly all males. If I don’t hear you, I don’t hear you, and if you get upset about that, you’re a bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Achren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@Achren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achren)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/57 "2010-07-03T11:33:21Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Oh, and another vote for: Learn to give/take directions, already, and in terms of “north” or “west,” not just “left” and “right.” That would be really helpful, especially over the phone. Tangent: This might just be where I live, but all turns are either going to be a left or right. I don’t see how “north” or “west” are superior unless there are multiple turns available, otherwise it’s just different words with the same meaning. Now if you prefer to give directions with cardinal directions, that’s one thing, but I’m curious if it’s a better way to give directions or just an alternate. And why being on the phone makes a difference. _may have issues with cardinal driving directions, but doesn’t get lost_ Actually, this could be completely unrelated, but I know that for games in 3rd person, I like it when movement is decided in relation to the character and not the camera. So that if the character is facing me and I want them to move in the direction they’re facing, I prefer to move forward with the up arrow or W key, than back towards the camera with the down arrow or S key. ---
**Author:** ![SevenOfTeemingMillions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@SevenOfTeemingMillions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SevenOfTeemingMillions)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/58 "2010-07-03T11:40:49Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > 1)the wife/SO has had a life changing event recently ( passing of a loved one etc.) - under these circumstances you are a dick if you don’t man-up and take care of the person you love in a time of need (and we all wake up at night scared sometimes ) The guy might react differently if wife/SO said “My dad just died.” or “Honey, I’m scared.” instead of giving a yes/no answer to a yes/no question like “Can you sleep?”. Just sayin’. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/59 "2010-07-03T14:25:54Z")
> [@gravitycrash](#): > > Ladies: Please tell me when you borrow my razor to shave your legs. You didn’t fool me by putting it back in the same exact spot when you finished using it because after nearly slicing my jugular I kind of know that something’s up. Haha, I was reading through the thread, happy that I hadn’t read of an issue we’ve faced yet, until I saw this. I humbly admit that when I’m in a rush, I’ll use his razor to shave my armpits, then rinse it off in hot water and put it back. Does my fur really cause that much damage? I mean, facial hair is so much thicker then my leg or armpit hair. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334/60 "2010-07-03T14:39:57Z")
Re: borrowing razors: [Cecil has addressed this](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/559/how-come-a-woman-shaving-her-legs-wears-out-a-mans-razor-so-fast) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-opposite-sex/545334.md?page=4)