# Mini-rants about members of the same sex **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 3, 2010, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454 "2010-07-03T20:46:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/101 "2010-07-08T16:26:02Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I think physical beauty in opposite-sex persons is a lot more important to men than it is to women . . . but I have no idea why that should be. I agree, absolutely - I think men are more visual or some such - but even I was rather repulsed by this fellow. The thing is, I am not terribly fond of men wandering around shirtless to start with. Sure, if you have a nice set of abs, I’m more forgiving, but I just don’t see the point unless you’re at the beach or at the pool. Put on a shirt. And the ONLY guys I ever see wandering around shirtless are white guys - which makes me wonder, did you put on sunscreen? That’s bad for you! ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/102 "2010-07-08T16:30:21Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > The thing is, I am not terribly fond of men wandering around shirtless to start with. Sure, if you have a nice set of abs, I’m more forgiving, but I just don’t see the point unless you’re at the beach or at the pool. Personally, even though I could stand to lose a few pounds, I feel pretty badass when I’m walking around shirtless in jeans. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/103 "2010-07-08T16:55:15Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > (what David Mamet calls the “Plus, I get to strangle your daughter’s kitten” clause) Funny, I always got the sense that Mamet only satirized that behavior superficially, and that deep down in places he doesn’t talk about, he sees the Essential Elemental Male in there. His buzz cut, his thick opaque specs, his phallic cigars, his endless repetitive injunctions to Just Read The Words, and his serial Svengaliing of his lead actresses certainly don’t indicate otherwise. I’ll admit I thought _The Spanish Prisoner_ was polished and clever and _State and Main_ incisively funny. But he was probably just being superficial there too. The man is alpha-plus, master chief, gold braided. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/104 "2010-07-08T17:00:07Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > And if a grown man was as ungracious a victor as the E\*Trade baby in [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZetD7cdj7w&feature=channel) ad That’s hilarious. Although, it took me a bit to figure out that “Frank” was the old guy in the background rather than someone whose E-mail message the baby was reading. What’s a “skins beatdown”? And I’m guessing that “shankapotomus” is derived from some kind of golf jargon too? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/105 "2010-07-08T18:13:34Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Personally, even though I could stand to lose a few pounds, I feel pretty badass when I’m walking around shirtless in jeans. 😛 Pics or it didn’t happen. Girls are allowed to ask for that, too, right? ETA: But seriously, where are you wandering? I’m not talking about the backyard. I’m talking about people walking down the side of a 40 mph road, brazenly shirtless, advertising…something. How SEXAY they are I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/106 "2010-07-08T19:01:25Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > ETA: But seriously, where are you wandering? I’m not talking about the backyard. I’m talking about people walking down the side of a 40 mph road, brazenly shirtless, advertising…something. How SEXAY they are I guess. It’s gotta be Matthew McConaughey. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/107 "2010-07-08T21:15:18Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > ETA: But seriously, where are you wandering? I’m not talking about the backyard. I’m talking about people walking down the side of a 40 mph road, brazenly shirtless, advertising…something. How SEXAY they are I guess. Oh yeah, in that situation that just looks kind of sad regardless of physique. And then there’s the old hairy men who go jogging with moobs a-flappin’. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/108 "2010-07-09T16:39:40Z")
The other thread brought another one to mind - ladies, try focusing on all the things your mate does right instead of the three things he does wrong. Then think of the three things YOU always do that drive him crazy, and how he doesn’t mention them every day. ---
**Author:** ![gallan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ee59a6/32.png) [@gallan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallan)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/109 "2010-07-09T17:46:29Z")
Guys: Just because another guy is going through a breakup does not mean that he’s suddenly filled with pent-up sexual energy. No, I don’t want to go to a strip club. No, I don’t want to go trolling for tramps at a bar. I am not suddenly overcome with the urge to see as many naked women as possible. I know you’re just trying to be supportive, but perhaps you could do so by engaging in activities and conversation that I actually enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![gallan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ee59a6/32.png) [@gallan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallan)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/110 "2010-07-09T17:51:10Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > Guys, please stop expecting me to high-five you. I hate the high-five. It looked douchey in the 90’s and it looks extra douchey today. You look douchey when you do it, and I don’t want to look douchey. Same with the high-five of the 2000’s, the fist-bump. On the other hand, if I try to high-five you, don’t be a douch and refuse to high-five me back. I’m a well-educated professional. I’m perfectly aware that the high-five is a douchey trend from the 90’s. I do it to be ironic, and I think you’re a douch when you take yourself too seriously to high-five me back. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/111 "2010-07-09T17:56:42Z")
> [@gallan](#): > > On the other hand, if I try to high-five you, don’t be a douch and refuse to high-five me back. I’m a well-educated professional. I’m perfectly aware that the high-five is a douchey trend from the 90’s. I do it to be ironic, and I think you’re a douch when you take yourself too seriously to high-five me back. Damn, that’s meta. ---
**Author:** ![TXCowboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/76d3ee/32.png) [@TXCowboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TXCowboy)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/112 "2010-07-09T18:33:11Z")
> [@cat whisperer](#): > > the other thread brought another one to mind - ladies, try focusing on all the things your mate does right instead of the three things he does wrong. Then think of the three things you always do that drive him crazy, and how he doesn’t mention them every day. thank you!! ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/113 "2010-07-09T20:34:41Z")
> [@gallan](#): > > On the other hand, if I try to high-five you, don’t be a douch and refuse to high-five me back. I’m a well-educated professional. I’m perfectly aware that the high-five is a douchey trend from the 90’s. I do it to be ironic, and I think you’re a douch when you take yourself too seriously to high-five me back. Howz about this- you try to high-five me, and I won’t reciprocate, so you’ll feel embarrassed and you won’t do it again and we’ll both be happy- K? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![gallan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ee59a6/32.png) [@gallan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallan)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/114 "2010-07-09T21:00:22Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > …you’ll feel embarrassed and you won’t do it again… Funny thing is, on the _very_ rare occasions that a person chooses not to emphatically high-five me back, I usually end up feeling embarrassed for them. It must be difficult to go through life being so self-conscious and concerned with what other people think. Like being too afraid to dance because someone might see them and think they’re doing it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/115 "2010-07-09T21:07:58Z")
> [@gallan](#): > > Funny thing is, on the _very_ rare occasions that a person chooses not to emphatically high-five me back, I usually end up feeling embarrassed for them. It must be difficult to go through life being so self-conscious and concerned with what other people think. Like being too afraid to dance because someone might see them and think they’re doing it wrong. Are you _sure_ you’re only being an ironic douche? ---
**Author:** ![gallan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ee59a6/32.png) [@gallan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallan)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/116 "2010-07-09T21:36:54Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Are you _sure_ you’re only being an ironic douche? Well right now I’m probably just being a douche, but only because I hate when people don’t high-five me back. I just want to say, “Relax! Try having a little fun.” Like today we had a co-worker turn 35. We called his mom and got a picture of him from when he was 15 and had a mullet. Then we bought him a mullet wig and told him he had to wear it during the party. Party’s over and he’s still wearing it. That’s a guy who knows how to have fun and not take life so seriously, but I know guys who would never in a million years put that wig on because they care too much about what people think of them. They don’t even realize that taking a joke so seriously makes people think they’re kind of a douche. Remember, if you can’t laugh at yourself sometimes, other people will laugh at you instead. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/117 "2010-07-09T22:23:51Z")
Ladies, we all like to read our horoscopes and have a laugh. But when one of you gets a serious look on your face and starts talking about that crap in a way that makes me think you’re not kidding, and some of you nod and add your own stories about psychics and ghosts, I’m so embarrassed I feel like I’ve got to hand in my feminist card. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/118 "2010-07-10T04:01:29Z")
> [@gallan](#): > > Well right now I’m probably just being a douche, but only because I hate when people don’t high-five me back. I just want to say, “Relax! Try having a little fun.” Like today we had a co-worker turn 35. We called his mom and got a picture of him from when he was 15 and had a mullet. Then we bought him a mullet wig and told him he had to wear it during the party. Party’s over and he’s still wearing it. That’s a guy who knows how to have fun and not take life so seriously, but I know guys who would never in a million years put that wig on because they care too much about what people think of them. They don’t even realize that taking a joke so seriously makes people think they’re kind of a douche. > > Remember, if you can’t laugh at yourself sometimes, other people will laugh at you instead. The reason I won’t give in to harmless social pressures such as these is because I really don’t care that you might think I’m not ‘fun’ or that I am scared to be laughed at. I don’t like what you consider ‘fun’, I don’t like you, and I relish it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/119 "2010-07-10T17:31:43Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > Mind if I jump on the boat, too? > > Just because you don’t wear much makeup or take a lot of time in the morning to get ready does not magically make you low maintenance or ultra-cool. Nor does it make women who take their time and put on makeup somehow inferior. It just means that woman X feels she needs less time than woman Y. So please stop complaining about how shitty the other looks and how vain/plain the other is. It’s really not worth the time it takes and it makes you look like a catty bitch. Similarly, if a woman wants to buy nice clothes, shoes and handbags, who gives a shit? Her money, her stuff. Amen! I hate hate hate how many (not all!) women who fall on that end of the spectrum will refer to us girly-girls as \*squealing \*over purses and shoes and nail polish. I don’t squeal. I might talk about the quality of a handbag, and which shades of color look good on different skin tones, but I don’t squeal. Ever. I can’t imagine where all these women are who approach casual acquaintances and suggest that they wax their legs in order to land a man. That seems much more like a rudeness issue than a gender issue. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454/120 "2010-07-10T18:01:05Z")
Young women, when I give you a compliment accept it because it’s genuine or I wouldn’t say it. Please don’t make me uncomfortable by playing your good features down. It’s okay if women say you have nice skin, are well-dressed, whatever. Try to enjoy it and say, Thanks." Then believe it! Oh, I know I’m nobody’s expert on what looks nice, but you don’t need an expert if you are looking for compliments. You need the people in the room with you. We’re real and so are you flaws and all. And fellow wimmins. Uh. When a group of us are having a conversation and a man walks into the room, please try to finish the conversation with your acquaintances before you turn your attention to him. Also please don’t go all squirrely on the rest of us and titter, raise your voice, flip your hair or do something silly to draw attention to yourself. I know some of the guys like it but to some of us it makes you look competitive and male-dependent. I want to know we have an equal relationship if we’re going to be friends. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mini-rants-about-members-of-the-same-sex/545454.md?page=7)