# Minor Holiday Rants that Don't Merit Their Own Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 17, 2004, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405 "2004-12-17T19:58:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![milroyj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@milroyj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/milroyj)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/61 "2004-12-20T03:10:47Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > I’m 38. I’ll let you know if I grow out of it; I don’t see it happening. I won’t shop at WalMart. Having ethics isn’t “silliness.” “Begging” people, your own parents no less, not to buy you gifts because they might come from a particular store, IS silly, not to mention ungrateful and rude. Sounds to me like **ce** had a job she didn’t like or couldn’t handle, so now her former employer is the Evil Empire, and slaveholders to boot. :rolleyes: Like I said, she’ll get over it, when she grows up. ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/62 "2004-12-20T03:47:04Z")
> [@milroyj](#): > > “Begging” people, your own parents no less, not to buy you gifts because they might come from a particular store, IS silly, not to mention ungrateful and rude. > > Sounds to me like **ce** had a job she didn’t like or couldn’t handle, so now her former employer is the Evil Empire, and slaveholders to boot. :rolleyes: > > Like I said, she’ll get over it, when she grows up. Ever heard of “hyperbole”? The use of the word begging in that post was hyperbole. Actually, the whole thing was hyperbolic; that’s just how I post. And have you ever worked for Walmart? Researched their business practices? I have good reasons for boycotting Walmart; it’s not just because I didn’t like the job. I’d go into it but I don’t want to hijack the entire post. Suffice it to say, they’re a very unethical company, and you learn even more about their practices when you’re on the inside. Also I did not use the word slaveholder anywhere in that post. And my parents don’t have any political beliefs. ---
**Author:** ![milroyj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@milroyj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/milroyj)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/63 "2004-12-20T04:30:23Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > And have you ever worked for Walmart? No, why on earth would I? > [@](#): > > Researched their business practices? See above. > [@](#): > > I have good reasons for boycotting Walmart I’m sure you **think** you do, but I remain rather unconvinced. > [@](#): > > Suffice it to say, they’re a very unethical company Cite? > [@](#): > > Also I did not use the word slaveholder anywhere in that post. No, just that their products are “slave-made”. :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > And my parents don’t have any political beliefs. No, of course they don’t. Parents are stupid, aren’t they? But you have it all figured out, brilliant highschool or college student that you are. Walmart=Bad, Bush=Bad, America=Bad, but hackey-sack, bongos, and a strong aversion to soap and hot water=Good. Really, we’ve heard it all before. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/64 "2004-12-20T04:52:43Z")
> [@milroyj](#): > > Cite? [Sexual discrimination](http://writ.news.findlaw.com/sebok/20040809.html) [Canadian workers’ problems with WalMart](http://www.walmartworkerscanada.com/news.php?articleID=00092) [Censorship issues](http://www.metroactive.com/papers/sonoma/01.09.97/walmart-music-9702.html) [How WalMart uses foreign suppliers](http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/77/walmart.html) to undercut other companies and force them out of business. Your condescension is puzzling. You admit you’ve never researched WalMart’s business practices, but you’re sure that someone who has only “thinks” they have reason to dislike them? Oh, and, you being older than **ce** doesn’t mean you know better. As you’ve so kindly demonstrated with your last post. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/65 "2004-12-20T04:59:40Z")
Minor Holiday Rant #2: I pit people who interrupt a good holiday rant thread by belittling someone else’s rant. Especially when they start stooping to baseless insults. ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/66 "2004-12-20T05:00:26Z")
> [@milroyj](#): > > No, why on earth would I? Glad you never had to take a shit job to make money. Bully for you. > [@](#): > > See above. Yes, ignorance is bliss. > [@](#): > > I’m sure you **think** you do, but I remain rather unconvinced… Cite?.. No, just that their products are “slave-made”. :rolleyes: See **Maureen** ’s links, please. > [@](#): > > No, of course they don’t. Parents are stupid, aren’t they? Er, whoosh? > [@](#): > > But you have it all figured out, brilliant highschool or college student that you are. Walmart=Bad, Bush=Bad, America=Bad, but hackey-sack, bongos, and a strong aversion to soap and hot water=Good. > > Really, we’ve heard it all before. I actually just came out of the shower. Then again, it was my first shower in five weeks. Now I’m off to read my Abbie Hoffman books and piss on the Washington Memorial. Ta. I’m fairly new here, I don’t recall reading many of your posts. Are you always this much of a fuckhead? ---
**Author:** ![milroyj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@milroyj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/milroyj)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/67 "2004-12-20T05:37:13Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > I’m fairly new here, I don’t recall reading many of your posts. Are you always this much of a fuckhead? Nah, just when it come to bongo-beaters like yourself. Hacky-sack, anyone? What? OW! OW! ---
**Author:** ![stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stately_plump_buck_mulligan)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/68 "2004-12-20T06:01:22Z")
Hey, everyone: I’m trying to lose a bit of weight, so stop with the delectable desserts being shoved in my face nonstop. I know it’s chow-down season, but not everyone on the planet is choosing to scarf every sugar-comprised treat offered to them just because it’s December. I’m not asking for your personal evaluation of my appearance – please just trust when I tell you that my tummy does not need four huge pieces of baklava, or a box of See’s truffles for that matter (I don’t care that it’s “only” the half-pound size, I will NOT eat it all in front of you right now and will most likely feed it to the boyfriend, whose weight goals are opposite of mine). Really. And don’t treat my [polite!!!] refusal of your rich offerings as though I’ve just stepped up onto your coffee table and began clawing at my own face, screeching “IIIII AM SOOOOOOO FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT!!!” at the top of my lungs. I’m not fishing for compliments, validation, attention, or chocolates. It’s that freaking simple. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/69 "2004-12-20T06:06:22Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > I’m fairly new here, I don’t recall reading many of your posts. Are you always this much of a fuckhead? Welcome **Continuity**! And, yes, yes he is. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/70 "2004-12-20T10:15:44Z")
> [@EmeraldGrue](#): > > I pit presents. This year the extended family collectively called off the already restricted gift-giving due to lack of money, and it was such a weight off everyone’s shoulders - financially and psychologically. You can look forward to seeing them without worrying about “But I haven’t bought anything yet!” > > Take that, Commercialization! I spit upon your…your…glittery displays! You know, **Grue** , you really have to sign up here: I’ve only read a couple of your posts, and you BELONG here. Oh yeah, my rant: IWANTAPONYWHERE’SMYPONYYOUSAIDICOULDHAVEAPONYBRITNEY’SPARENTSAREGETTINGHERAPONYWHYCAN’TIHAVEAPONYTOOIHATEYOUALL! {Slam!} ---
**Author:** ![Selkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Selkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Selkie)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/71 "2004-12-20T11:58:34Z")
I pit all those “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” signs that spring up. God, I hate those things. I pit the relatives who claim to be too poor to give gifts, BUT expect mounds of presents for their whelps. Look, I’m all for not exchanging presents - really, I am - but insisting that I give to the little brats because “Christmas is for the children” bothers me. Especially when the father of one of said brats makes four times what I did in my best year, and his wife has a driver, bodyguard, two live-in maids, and traveled extensively across Europe last year. (I wish I were making this up). ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/72 "2004-12-20T12:14:31Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > Holiday newsletters should be outlawed, and any violators of this new law should be forced to listen to their own drivel every five minutes at high volume, with no chance to cover their ears, while they sit in a fetid, deep, dank pit. > > At least, one person was honest enough to mention that her son spent seven months in jail over the past year. But the others feel it’s necessary to ramble on for a dozen tiny paragraphs, in a teensy little font, for two pages front and back, on their incredible feats and exploits, including those of their kids and pets, in excruciating detail. > > Stop it already! No, really: STOP IT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Make me! 😃 Apparently I have a Xmas Brag Letter Fan Base. No, really. It is the anti-brag letter and it makes those that read it comment to my mom and husband - never to me - how funny it was. This year I will knock them dead with How Wonderful We Are letter. Not to brag or anything. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/73 "2004-12-20T12:20:52Z")
> [@Selkie](#): > > I pit all those “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” signs that spring up. God, I hate those things. Jesus is the reason for 50 % off the already overpriced items of crap you don’t need! I pit people who have real live christmas trees. This poor tree took 5-10 years to get to this size and you cut it down just to stuff it’s carcass in your living room and cover it with tinsel and throw some fire hazard material all over it. How fucking macabre is that? What if I took your grannie who was in perfectly vibrant health, killed her, embalmed her, stood her upright, arms out, and hung ornaments and lights over her? Doesn’t she look good? Put an angel atop her head that glows. Let’s put presents around her feet and sing, " Oh Grannie Baum Oh Grannie Baum…how lovely are your arms…" Won’t someone think of the Conifers? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/74 "2004-12-20T13:23:00Z")
> [@stately plump buck mulligan](#): > > Really. And don’t treat my [polite!!!] refusal of your rich offerings as though I’ve just stepped up onto your coffee table and began clawing at my own face, screeching “IIIII AM SOOOOOOO FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT!!!” at the top of my lungs. I just want to say, I would pay good money to see that. Also, your name makes me giggle out loud everytime I see it. That’s a good thing, really. > [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Jesus is the reason for 50 % off the already overpriced items of crap you don’t need! **BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!** So was the rest of your post, btw, but that part had me almost in the floor laughing. My sides hurt still! > [@vivalostwages](#): > > Holiday newsletters should be outlawed, and any violators of this new law should be forced to listen to their own drivel every five minutes at high volume, with no chance to cover their ears, while they sit in a fetid, deep, dank pit. What a beautifully written piece of pit ranting! It brought tears to my eyes. Any chance you’d consider running for Congress? We could use your lawmaking abilities. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MissDisaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@MissDisaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissDisaster)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/75 "2004-12-20T14:24:32Z")
> [@stately plump buck mulligan](#): > > Hey, everyone: I’m trying to lose a bit of weight, so stop with the delectable desserts being shoved in my face nonstop. I know it’s chow-down season, but not everyone on the planet is choosing to scarf every sugar-comprised treat offered to them just because it’s December. > > I’m not asking for your personal evaluation of my appearance – please just trust when I tell you that my tummy does not need four huge pieces of baklava, or a box of See’s truffles for that matter (I don’t care that it’s “only” the half-pound size, I will NOT eat it all in front of you right now and will most likely feed it to the boyfriend, whose weight goals are opposite of mine). > Really. And don’t treat my [polite!!!] refusal of your rich offerings as though I’ve just stepped up onto your coffee table and began clawing at my own face, screeching “IIIII AM SOOOOOOO FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT!!!” at the top of my lungs. I’m not fishing for compliments, validation, attention, or chocolates. It’s that freaking simple. What’s even worse is my grandma is constantly commenting on my weight… then she goes and starts yelling at me “why don’t you eat my piiiiiiiiieee, I made it just for you since I know you like that kind.” Huh? You constantly call me fat, then you make a pie for me? I’m not even going to see my extended family this year, they haven’t seen me since I gained weight because of my stupid thyroid… I could do without the “omigod you’ve put on some weight” comments this year… (and there’s a few of them who like to pinch some stomach chub while they make the above comment, ick!) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/76 "2004-12-20T14:55:25Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Jesus is the reason for 50 % off the already overpriced items of crap you don’t need! > I pit people who have real live christmas trees. This poor tree took 5-10 years to get to this size and you cut it down just to stuff it’s carcass in your living room and cover it with tinsel and throw some fire hazard material all over it. > > How fucking macabre is that? > > What if I took your grannie who was in perfectly vibrant health, killed her, embalmed her, stood her upright, arms out, and hung ornaments and lights over her? Doesn’t she look good? Put an angel atop her head that glows. Let’s put presents around her feet and sing, " Oh Grannie Baum Oh Grannie Baum…how lovely are your arms…" > > Won’t someone think of the Conifers? I think SOMEbody’s been in the eggnog… ---
**Author:** ![mcms\_cricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@mcms\_cricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mcms_cricket)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/77 "2004-12-20T15:51:37Z")
I pit the most execrable Christmas song I have EVER heard. It was terrible. Awful. I don’t know who it was or what it was called, but it sounded like it could have been a country singer. Anyway - the singer is in line to buy some last minute christmas gifts on Christmas Eve He sees a little boy (who, of course, is small, dirty from head to toe and practically dressed in rags) with a pair of shoes who is also in line. The boy gets up the counter and goes on and on to the salesperson about how he wants to buy these shoes (please) and could you hurry - they’re for my mother, they’re perfect for her, she’ll love them (etc., etc.) and she’s been very sick lately and these shoes will cheer her up (did I mention that she’s very sick sick) and besides I want her to look beautiful in case she meets Jesus tonight… At this point I had to turn to another station before I threw up. I have no idea about the rest of the song. But wow - that was just terrible. I don’t want crappy songs in the middle of my Christmas music. Yuck. ---
**Author:** ![LionelHutz405](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lionelhutz405/32/536_2.png) [@LionelHutz405](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LionelHutz405)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/78 "2004-12-20T16:11:40Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I pit people who have real live christmas trees. This poor tree took 5-10 years to get to this size and you cut it down just to stuff it’s carcass in your living room and cover it with tinsel and throw some fire hazard material all over it. It’s OK. Most Christmas trees are grown as a ‘crop’. Just like wheat, corn or pizza. No wait, not pizza. But the other two. So don’t shed any tears for that poor little guy, it was his destiny. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/79 "2004-12-20T16:21:44Z")
> [@racinchikki](#): > > Friendly’s isn’t national. They’re regional. You get any further south than Pennsylvania and you’ll never see another one. Every time I go home I make it a point to go out to one with my parents. The ice cream is also not distributed nationally, but only in the region where one can find their restaurants. Actually, there are several in Richmond, VA - the one I used to go to a lot is still in business, and they built a new one a couple of years ago. They’re still pretty popular there. E. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/80 "2004-12-20T16:32:45Z")
> [@mcms\_cricket](#): > > I pit the most execrable Christmas song I have EVER heard. It was terrible. Awful. I don’t know who it was or what it was called, but it sounded like it could have been a country singer. > > Anyway - the singer is in line to buy some last minute christmas gifts on Christmas Eve He sees a little boy (who, of course, is small, dirty from head to toe and practically dressed in rags) with a pair of shoes who is also in line. The boy gets up the counter and goes on and on to the salesperson about how he wants to buy these shoes (please) and could you hurry - they’re for my mother, they’re perfect for her, she’ll love them (etc., etc.) and she’s been very sick lately and these shoes will cheer her up (did I mention that she’s very sick sick) and besides I want her to look beautiful in case she meets Jesus tonight… > > At this point I had to turn to another station before I threw up. I have no idea about the rest of the song. But wow - that was just terrible. I don’t want crappy songs in the middle of my Christmas music. > > Yuck. Oh, yes. “These Christmas Shoes,” the glurgiest bit of glurge ever glurged, decorated with a heavy drizzling of insipid drivel. And I used to think Grandpa Jones’s “The Christmas Guest” was sort of glurgy. (The difference being that I rather like that one. Grandpa Jones was a cool old guy.) I’ve only ever heard bits and pieces of TCS, but near as I can tell, it only gets worse as it goes along. Yuck doesn’t even begin to describe it. Ragged urchin, of course, doesn’t have enough money for these beautiful Christmas shoes for Momma to wear when she meets Jesus. Harried yuppie behind him overhears, and has road-to-Damascus type revelation about the true meaning of Christmas. HY pays for the shoes, RU carries on some more about how perfect said shoes are, how sick Momma’s been, and how beautiful she’ll look when she meets Jesus tonight, and then RU scurries on his way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405.md?page=5)