# Minor Holiday Rants that Don't Merit Their Own Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 17, 2004, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405 "2004-12-17T19:58:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/81 "2004-12-20T16:57:28Z")
I love Christmas. I love Christmas in a “What do you mean, it’s over-decorated?? I can still see white space!” kind of way. My sweetie-pie dearly-beloved honey bunches of oats snugglybunny hunnie hubby seems to take this as a personal insult. I knew he didn’t want to decorate the tree, as he’d already helped me decorate his mom’s tree early in the day, and had worked at his office’s Santa party that afternoon - so I decorated the tree without him. When he got home and saw it decorated, he got upset. He said “I was going to help you!”, although I explained several times that I was fine, and I knew he didn’t want to help anyway. I think he thought I was angry that he didn’t want to help, so he kept trying to assure me that he would have helped. Seriously. Babe. It’s okay. I LIKE decorating the tree! I won’t be upset if you don’t WANT to help. I still detest the glurgy crap that’s on the radio now, though. Just because I happen to love Christmas doesn’t mean I want to listen to that crap 24-7. E. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/82 "2004-12-20T17:09:10Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > For people who get to see their whole families on a regular basis, or who make a lot of money on a holiday, or who have short shifts that allow them to still take part in family celebrations, or who aren’t particularly close to their families, it’s probably a much better deal. For me, though, working a holiday means I don’t get to go to Kentucky and see my family. I can go see the ones who are still in Kentucky later, but I’ll have missed the others who live out of state. This means I have relatives who I haven’t seen since Thanksgiving of 2002. I gotta point out I’m with you on this one. I love many members of my family in India, and I haven’t seen them since I was 18, or 1993. ☹ And it has nothing to do with work, I just don’t have the money to go to India. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/83 "2004-12-20T17:11:26Z")
Oh, yeah. The next person who starts up the dancing, singing Frosty “Oh, that’s so cute! Look at him shake his butt!” the Snowman in the office will find Frosty officially nesting in their anal region for the entire month of January. (I admit it, I did this on Friday a few times, but we had just put him out - NOW it’s getting annoying…). E. ---
**Author:** ![stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@stately\_plump\_buck\_mulligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stately_plump_buck_mulligan)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/84 "2004-12-20T17:12:36Z")
> [@MissDisaster](#): > > What’s even worse is my grandma is constantly commenting on my weight… then she goes and starts yelling at me “why don’t you eat my piiiiiiiiieee, I made it just for you since I know you like that kind.” Huh? You constantly call me fat, then you make a pie for me? Oh really. Exact same thing here. At Thanksgiving: Grandma: Oohh, Nicole! What happened to your figure? Me: Erunhgh? Grandma: Your stomach used to be flatter, didn’t it? Here, have this ginormous slice of carrot cake. Me: Bye. oh and also at Thanksgiving: Aunt: Nicole, you look amazing. You lost weight, huh? Have some pie, you need a break from whatever crazy diet you must be on. Me: Hangs self from light fixture. ---
**Author:** ![Sassafras](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@Sassafras](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassafras)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/85 "2004-12-20T17:19:51Z")
> [@racinchikki](#): > > Well, paint me pink. Still, they’re probably at their highest concentration in Pennsylvania northward, as I’d certainly never _noticed_ one in any of the other East Coast states I’ve driven thrugh. They’re based in Springfield, Mass, after all. There’s lots here in Central FL. One by my home in Ormond and 2 near work in Daytona Beach. I pass by 2 more driving to my parent’s home in DeLand ( about 25 minutes from work) ---
**Author:** ![Kiminy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Kiminy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiminy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/86 "2004-12-20T17:23:12Z")
> [@Neidhart](#): > > Dear Whoever chooses the music in stores: > > You know, there are plenty of Christmas carols out there. Hundreds, even. Why is it, then, that whenever I enter a store I can count on hearing 600 different versions of _Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, Silver Bells, Rudolph_ and something called _Everybody’s Waiting for the Man with the Bag_ which sounds like a reject from the Willy Wonka soundtrack. > > I can’t remember the last time I heard _O Holy Night, The Shepherds Watched their Flocks by Night, I Saw Three Ships_ or _God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen_ – the music I grew up hearing. Are those songs just too old-fashioned and too difficult to tart up with synthesizers/drum sets/caterwauling vocals (as seems to be de rigueur these days)? Or are the lyrics too overtly Christian? If you think about it for a minute, you’ll realize that there are two categories of Christmas songs–secular and religious. The ones that we hear all the time these days (as mentioned in the first paragraph) are all secular, with no mention of Jesus or God or anything that could offend someone of Another Religion. The ones in the second paragraph are very religious, with lots of references to Jesus and the Bible store, etc. I know that in the long run, it really probably doesn’t make a difference in terms of Christians vs non-Christians, but the stores are hyping BUYING, not worship. This is also related to my biggest minor gripe–Why do radio stations insist on playing joke Christmas songs over and over and over again? The station I normally listen to in the car has gotten fixated on a really bad parody called “Ding Fries are Done”, to the point that I have stopped listening to them and put a nice, traditional Christmas music CD on instead. However, I don’t get the traffic and weather updates that way… ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/87 "2004-12-20T17:33:17Z")
> [@LionelHutz405](#): > > It’s OK. Most Christmas trees are grown as a ‘crop’. Just like wheat, corn or pizza. No wait, not pizza. But the other two. > > So don’t shed any tears for that poor little guy, it was his destiny. What kind of savage are you? Why not harvest humans to stick in the blender of life to feed others?Hey…this could solve a whole bunch of hunger/overcrowding\* problems… Solyent Green…full of vitamins and calcium. Don’t mind the gizzard. Poor widdle trees. \*Overcrowding is a reduncancy. Just thought I would point that out. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/88 "2004-12-20T20:19:22Z")
> [@Sassafras](#): > > There’s lots here in Central FL. One by my home in Ormond and 2 near work in Daytona Beach. I pass by 2 more driving to my parent’s home in DeLand ( about 25 minutes from work) That’s because Florida is full of retired Yankees who missed their Yankee restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/89 "2004-12-20T21:04:21Z")
**Kiminy** , I can’t speak for **Neidhart’s** stance on the issue, but I wouldn’t have such a gripe about store Christmas songs if they played good versions of secular songs. But no, they have to crank out the same Top 40 pop-offal five times an hour. Plus, I have to listen to it eight hours a day, so it sort of wears on the nerves. Sears, for the love of all that is good and decent, break out the old 45’s. Please? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/90 "2004-12-20T22:18:43Z")
I would like to take this opportunity to pit eggnog. What the hell is it anyway? Egg? Nog? What the fark is Nog? It’s disgusting. It looks like a bukkake shake. and I secretly think it is. To the bowels of hell, I say. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/91 "2004-12-20T22:39:12Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I would like to take this opportunity to pit eggnog. > > What the hell is it anyway? > > Egg? > Nog? > > What the fark is Nog? > > It’s disgusting. It looks like a bukkake shake. and I secretly think it is. > To the bowels of hell, I say. No, no. It’s the sperm of Satan himself. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/92 "2004-12-20T22:46:45Z")
_Please_, dear. There are some things I really prefer to not have to think about. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/93 "2004-12-20T22:51:55Z")
> [@GingerOfTheNorth](#): > > No, no. It’s the sperm of Satan himself. I thought that was mayonnaise. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/94 "2004-12-20T22:56:29Z")
You people are making it so much easier to stick to my diet. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/95 "2004-12-20T22:59:35Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I would like to take this opportunity to pit eggnog. Oh, no. We had some really good Eggnog at my school’s Christmas get-together. Eggnog, Kahlua, bourbon and Cool Whip. Damn good stuff. And the sperm of Satan isn’t mayonnaise, but that fake shit, Miracle Whip. Mayo’s good, Miracle Whip’s just nasty. To the bowels of Hell with it! ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/96 "2004-12-20T23:06:12Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > I just want to say, I would pay good money to see that. Also, your name makes me giggle out loud everytime I see it. That’s a good thing, really. > > **BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!** > > So was the rest of your post, btw, but that part had me almost in the floor laughing. My sides hurt still! > > What a beautifully written piece of pit ranting! It brought tears to my eyes. Any chance you’d consider running for Congress? We could use your lawmaking abilities. 😃 blush I might have to make an exception for **Shirley** (see above), but for all others I’d be most happy to mandate this. ---
**Author:** ![luluBahrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e5b9ba/32.png) [@luluBahrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luluBahrain)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/97 "2004-12-20T23:23:41Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > I thought that was mayonnaise. And you thought right! The other’s don’t even know what they are on about. Come, be my best friend. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![luluBahrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e5b9ba/32.png) [@luluBahrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luluBahrain)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/98 "2004-12-20T23:24:48Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > Oh, no. We had some really good Eggnog at my school’s Christmas get-together. Eggnog, Kahlua, bourbon and Cool Whip. Damn good stuff. > And the sperm of Satan isn’t mayonnaise, but that fake shit, Miracle Whip. > Mayo’s good, Miracle Whip’s just nasty. To the bowels of Hell with it! Oh, no you didn’t!!! Miracle Whip is like angel kisses. Now go and pray for those blasphemous thoughts to be gone from your head. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/99 "2004-12-20T23:41:33Z")
> [@luluBahrain](#): > > Miracle Whip is like angel kisses. No, it isn’t. Miracle Whip is like mayonnaise that has been left in the fridge for about 6 months past its expiration date. I know this from experience. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405/100 "2004-12-20T23:43:40Z")
> [@luluBahrain](#): > > Miracle Whip is like angel kisses. :dubious: Miracle Whip : mayonnaise | Velveeta : cheese Besides which, it makes perfectly frightful egg nog. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-holiday-rants-that-dont-merit-their-own-thread/280405.md?page=6)