# Minor, nearly useless superpowers you think you have **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 25, 2005, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252 "2005-03-25T20:37:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/41 "2005-03-26T03:15:27Z")
I can make traffic slow down and speed up simply by switching lanes. I pull into a lane and a car Way Up There slams on their brakes. Also, I can make it start snowing in the winter in Northern NM, simply by walking outside. ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/42 "2005-03-26T03:18:13Z")
I can change traffic lights from red to green. GOFLOWOLFOG!! ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/43 "2005-03-26T03:20:38Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > I can do crossword puzzles in my head. I also read faster than anyone I’ve ever met. I’m still waiting for an evil genius to plant a bomb in the city which will explode in 90 minutes, the location of which can only be discovered by reading his cryptic and novel-length manifesto, and which once found can only be disarmed by solving a sequential series of verbal puzzles. Sadly, until that day I’m reduced to bugging the hell out of people by solving their puzzles out loud over their shoulders. > > My sister has a related power, in that she can always solve other people’s crosswords, but never her own. Oooh, there’s another one I’ve got – speed reading. I can rip through a typical novel in a couple hours… shocked a friend of mine when I sat down to read through her Lemony Snicket books while she took a shower. By the time she got out and finished getting dressed, I was on the second book or so. ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/44 "2005-03-26T03:22:37Z")
I have the ability to make others think I work at a store. Everytime I go into Borders someone asks me a question, thinking I work there. I’m able to always predict exactly what happens in horror movies. ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/45 "2005-03-26T03:39:11Z")
I am possessed of the preternatural ability to forget a person’s name almost before I hear it. I have the ability to drive to any place I have ever driven to even once. Conversely, if in an unfamiliar area, I will _always_ guess the wrong direction to go to get back out of the area, regardless of whether I go with my first instinct or second-guess myself. I can put down a book I have been reading and come back to it hours or days later and open it to the very next page after the one I had finished previously. I’ve never used a bookmark or dog-earred the pages. When younger, I would glance at the page number, then forget about it until I picked the book up again. Nowadays, I don’t even do that. ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/46 "2005-03-26T03:51:04Z")
I only have one, and it only comes in handy when I’m at work. I work at a Mexican restaurant, and we have these little two-ounce styrofoam containers with plastic lids that we put sauce in for the “to-go” orders. There’s a box that we keep them in and I’m usually the one that has to fill up the box. I’ll count how many sauces I need and go get the styrofoam cups. Here’s where the superpower comes in. I almost always grab the exact amount of cups and lids that I need without counting them. Bow before me! ---
**Author:** ![sishoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3e96dc/32.png) [@sishoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sishoch)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/47 "2005-03-26T04:14:51Z")
I have the uncanny ability to confuse the clerks at Walmart. OK, that’s not hard, but trust me, do not get in line behind me. Last time I bought a ream of paper, it was not in the computer and I had to wait about 15 minutes until they found the price. I also have the knack of figuring out a woman is interested in me about the time that she loses interest :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Sarah\_Woodruff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df788c/32.png) [@Sarah\_Woodruff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarah_Woodruff)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/48 "2005-03-26T05:06:54Z")
I have the power, when stopped at a red light, to cause the driver in front of me to suddenly decide that they don’t want to go straight ahead, they want to turn right and hold us all up for another lights-change. (in Australia it’s left-side-of-road driving). I have the power to magically attract slightly senile old people who want to tell me about their great-nephew or the book they read in 1947, whenever I’m on public transport. And I have the power to make the humidity-level of the outside air increase fivefold by going outside dressed in wool. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/49 "2005-03-26T15:38:50Z")
I can herd cats (in packs of up to 2 or 3; I admit I have not tested my special power to make felines go where I want with larger groups). ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/50 "2005-03-26T17:24:19Z")
I can independently wiggle my eyebrows. I am good with animals. They just like me for some reason. I can talk and move my mouth totally out of synch, like in a bad kung fu or Godzilla movie. I can unerringly pick the slowest checkout line in the supermarket - the length of the line has no bearing. I can fart at will. I can roll my tongue in that funny U shape. With such great power comes great responsibility. ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/51 "2005-03-26T18:18:06Z")
I am Hyper Time Sensitive. I can anticpate how long any journey or process will take far more accurately than mere mortals. When I’m driving, I can tell passengers in the car when we’ll reach our destination to within 2 or 3 _minutes_. It’s scary. When I used to work in an office, it was yet another reason for being unpopular. Someone would say something like, ‘Don’t worry, the meeting will only take about half an hour, we’ll have plenty of time…’, and I’d say, ‘No, it won’t, the meeting will last for about 55 minutes and we’ll miss the train’ and I’d be right (to within 2 minutes) and everyone would be angry with me for being right. I possess the gift of Plot Blindness. No matter how screamingly obvious the plot may be, for any book or movie, I can’t see what’s coming or whodunnit or how things will turn out. This is all the more surprising given that I’ve read enormous amounts of crime fiction. In my entire adult life I can count on one hand the nmber of times I actually anticipated a story correctly. I am a Beagle Whisperer. I have these friends who have a lovely, very energetic and excitable Beagle. Although she’s adorable and much-loved, she does tend to misbehave and bark a lot when she shouldn’t and sometimes be a bit of a nuisance. But she doesn’t when I’m around. It’s almost like a telepathic ‘stillness’ command. My friends were pleasantly startled by this super-power and have called me a Beagle Whisperer ever since I first manifested this gift. I have an insane level of eidetic memory where books and printed materials are concerned. If I want to refer to a particular passage, I can visualise the book, how far into the book the relevant page is, and whereabouts on that page is the passage I’m after. Note that this is without any attempt at memorisation, and that I can’t rememeber the actual words or the passage… only vaguely what that passage will look like on the printed page. ---
**Author:** ![Typically\_Sunday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Typically\_Sunday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typically_Sunday)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/52 "2005-03-26T21:14:56Z")
Bus drivers find me extremely attractive. I’ve had numerous drivers hit on me, and two who asked me out. Apparently, if you ever need a bus driver seduced, I’m your girl. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/53 "2005-03-27T00:23:11Z")
I have the power to make babies laugh by wiggling my eyebrows. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/54 "2005-03-27T01:11:16Z")
I possess an almost magnetic ability to draw every lesbian in the area. My hair has the ability to never look brushed, even moments after I’ve brushed it. I have a magical accent that doesn’t sound anything like what it’s supposed to. People think it’s British, German, Polish, anything but Southern. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/55 "2005-03-27T02:14:37Z")
I have long been able to recognize obscure similarities between two different pieces of music. For a long time, it was almost a shameful talent: I would ask people, “Don’t you think that song sounds a little like this song?”, and be told no, it was all in my head. Becoming semi-literate in music helped me – I could at least quantify some of the things I was noticing. I also seem to have a less pronounced ability to recognize similarities in faces, and I wonder if these abilities are related. FWIW, my older brother is an absolute savant at this. He can note from memory the features that the comparees (is that a word?) share: _Me:_ “Hey, do you think the waiter looks like our old history teacher?” _My brother:_ (Long pause) “Yeah – the right eye and the left side of their mouth is similar.” ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/56 "2005-03-27T02:16:48Z")
I have a phonographic memory. I am an insufferably accurate speller. I can type faster with two fingers than most people can by touch-typing. I can tie a bow tie in the dark. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/57 "2005-03-27T03:02:02Z")
- I have an unusual accent that often makes people think I come from the same “old country” they or their family came from. - I can print legibly in writing so small people need a magnifying glass to read it. - Although not particularly tall, I can summon old ladies who need help reaching top shelf items at will. Perhaps I am their patron saint. - I can generally catch falling objects before they hit the ground. - I can do crosswords and the “Jumble” in my head. - I can confuse sales clerks by giving them odd amounts of money to get less change (it cost $7.82? I have $13.07). - I can wake up two minutes before my alarm goes off, and can get by without an alarm. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/58 "2005-03-27T04:00:49Z")
I am great at lifting and carrying. \*I can lift things much heavier and oddly shaped than a person my size should be able to. This comes from many summers spent in the construction industry. I started working at 14 and quickly learned how to lift properly. Most 120 lb teenagers couldn’t carry an entire bundle of shingles up a ladder, I wager. \*I can carry every grocery bag from the car to the house in one trip (so long as it’s only my groceries.) I have managed to carry ten bags, two jugs of milk, a case of soda, and a thing of laundry detergent. I only had to put down the detergent to unlock and open my front door, too. ---
**Author:** ![fifty-six](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@fifty-six](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fifty-six)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/59 "2005-03-27T04:42:43Z")
I can leave a video store without renting something. I can find the lowest airfair. I aways wanted to test this by polling every one at a gate but havent worked up the nerve. I would be intresting though to find out. people are amazed by my powers and prices. I can drive on an empty tank for almost a week. In almost any vehicle I have managed to overpower the will to stop at a round number when getting gas. Even when paying cash. I just pump gas till it feels right and stop. I can keep my wife happy for a week straight. I can talk almost non stop for hours and think folks are intrested. ---
**Author:** ![bclouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@bclouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bclouse)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/60 "2005-03-27T05:41:25Z")
> [@alaska56](#): > > I can keep my wife happy for a week straight. I wouldn’t call that minor or useless. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252.md?page=4)