# Minor, nearly useless superpowers you think you have **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 25, 2005, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252 "2005-03-25T20:37:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![StarsApart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecc23a/32.png) [@StarsApart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarsApart)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/81 "2005-03-29T13:38:00Z")
I can concentrate on a book through just about anything. In high school I used to spend lunch in my grandmother’s classroom (she taught there), and if I got bored I’d pull out a book and just read, no matter how busy it was. One time in elementary school I finished an assignment early and started reading; I glanced up to find an empty classroom. Everyone had left for recess and I had no idea. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/82 "2005-03-29T16:59:07Z")
[QUOTE=Miss Mapp] I can herd cats (in packs of up to 2 or 3; I admit I have not tested my special power to make felines go where I want with larger groups).[/QUOTE? Can you tell me how to get my 22# tabby to stop jumping on my lap when my laptop is already there? ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/83 "2005-03-29T18:02:14Z")
I can sense when TVs or monitors are on, via what seems like a very high pitched sound. But I kind of suspect everyone can do that, actually. ---
**Author:** ![TwoTrouts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@TwoTrouts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoTrouts)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/84 "2005-03-29T18:49:30Z")
I can imitate the cry/whistle of a Red-Tailed Hawk perfectly. This power allows me to strike terror into the hearts of bunnies, squirrels, and the occasional cat. ---
**Author:** ![YellowTail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5ac83/32.png) [@YellowTail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YellowTail)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/85 "2005-03-30T00:38:46Z")
I can drum my fingers in both directions (pinky to index and index to pinky) in perfect time. ---
**Author:** ![Scarface\_Z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Scarface\_Z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarface_Z)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/86 "2005-03-30T01:34:21Z")
This is lengthy. For lo! Great is my power… I have the power to kill or save people with my mind. This is honest to God a true story: It was early morning in AP Chemistry. Our teacher had not shown up for class and we were socializing. Kevin says, “I wonder where Ms. Peabody is?” And I, being a smart-ass reply, “Watch, she’s dead or something.” A few minutes later our substitute teacher walks in and some girl asks, “Where’s Ms. Peabody?” “She…had a heart-attack; she’s in the hospital. It’s not good.” Immediately I feel like an ass, as every eye in the room turns to focus on me. I instantly wish for my teacher not to die. The next day we here our teacher has made great progress and will be back to teach by the end of the week. Oddly, my power to kill works whether I mean it or not, and it can transcend time and space. I’ve considered assassinating Hitler, but who knows what greater evil his death might unleash? The only other times I’ve tried were…um…forget it I’ve said too much already. Now you have to keep quite about this OK? I’ll be thinking of you. 😉 Other, more mundane, powers: •I can breathe easier before I blow my nose rather than after. •I can get swimmer’s ear from a snowstorm. •I can insult my neighbor from Bangladesh in his native tongue, even though I’ve never heard Bangladeshi spoken. I just imagine what an insult in Bangladeshi would sound like, and it works every time. •I can make every joint and bone in my body crack without hyper-extending anything. When I run it sounds like a ratchet, or whale’s clicking. •I can frighten anyone below the Mason-Dixie line away by saying, “I’m from New Joisey.” •I attract women whose boyfriends “just went to the bathroom.” •When I call them on that, their boyfriend is always a pile of muscles and tattoos when he comes out of the bathroom. •To date, I have accurately predicted the gender of every one of my four nieces and three nephews 9 months ahead of time. If I’m lying I’m dying, No! Wait! ARRGGHH! ---
**Author:** ![joazito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@joazito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joazito)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/87 "2005-03-30T01:56:19Z")
I could pick up a bunch of allegedly empty CD boxes and tell if there’s any CD in them. Up to 20 or so, maybe 30. This isn’t actually useless, but it’s pretty minor you’ll agree. ---
**Author:** ![passiveaggressive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6de8d8/32.png) [@passiveaggressive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/passiveaggressive)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/88 "2005-03-30T02:40:56Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > I can sense when TVs or monitors are on, via what seems like a very high pitched sound. Ditto. Lately it’s worked for computer monitors, too (even after the CPU has been shut down). I also have the most finely-tuned gaydar of anyone I know. Friend: “That six-year-old boy has chocolate ice cream all over his face.” Me: “Raging queen.” Friend: “Jim and I are happy to announce the birth of our daughter, Emma, 7 lbs.” Me: “Congratulations! Here’s an Indigo Girls CD for the nursery.” I’m also capable of becoming invisible to any and all customer service representatives. I can stand at a help desk for 20 minutes before anyone notices I’m there. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/89 "2005-03-30T04:11:32Z")
I can touch every part of my back, and make dinner for 10 people out of next to nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/90 "2005-03-30T05:52:27Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > I can touch every part of my back, and make dinner for 10 people out of next to nothing. Wow. Is that part of the pre-dinner show? 😉 [sub]I hope you sign up; I enjoy your posts![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/91 "2005-03-30T05:52:36Z")
I can do the TV/monitor noise thing. It also works for other appliances, as well. Sometimes I’ll be hunting through the house trying to find what got left on. My real superpowers are complementary in the right situation: 1. I can walk through crowds of people really easily, for some reason. 2. I’m good at changing my clothes really quickly. If allowed to prepare, I could vanish into a crowd in a minute. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/92 "2005-03-30T06:26:43Z")
> [@Large Marge](#): > > Wow. Is that part of the pre-dinner show? 😉 > > [sub]I hope you sign up; I enjoy your posts![/sub] Yay! Someone likes me! (well besides my mom, but she’s expected to;)) And I do intend to sign up 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/93 "2005-03-30T06:28:31Z")
And I nearly forgot my Major Superpower: I am the only woman I know who takes less than half an hour to use the restroom at a public place (I SWEAR, what are they DOING in those stalls?) ---
**Author:** ![Scarface\_Z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Scarface\_Z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarface_Z)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/94 "2005-03-30T17:46:20Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > (I SWEAR, what are they DOING in those stalls?) I always figured they were developing strategies to thwart my advances, but once I get the camera set up, I’ll let you know. ---
**Author:** ![DogMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@DogMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DogMom)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/95 "2005-03-30T18:08:47Z")
I can find things. I’m pretty good at it, actually. The other one is a family Superpower - everyone in my family has the ability to arrive somewhere _right before_ the huge line of people. So, like, at a restaurant, when any of us go in, the line is _huge_ by the time we sit down. That sort of thing. Personal weird things I can do with my body: I can roll my tongue in two directions at once so it makes a sort of “cloverleaf” shape, and I’m the only one in my family that can do that. I can wiggle my ears. I can cross my eyes so that only one is “crossed” and the other one is looking straight ahead. I can move them independently so that it looks like they’re knocking into each other, sorta like an eyeball version of [Newton’s Cradle](http://www.kaplanco.com/store/trans/productDetailForm.asp?CollID=17271&CatID=9%7CSC1015%7C0&area=froogle). ---
**Author:** ![DogMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@DogMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DogMom)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/96 "2005-03-30T18:22:32Z")
> [@The Sausage Creature](#): > > And I nearly forgot my Major Superpower: I am the only woman I know who takes less than half an hour to use the restroom at a public place (I SWEAR, what are they DOING in those stalls?) Ooo! I got that one too. Five minutes, tops, including washing hands. I don’t know what they’re doing in there, either, and I don’t think I _want_ to know. And I’ve got the “can smell everything” power, too. I’ve always had that one - I was the one always elected to “test the milk” because I could sniff it and tell you _exactly_ how much longer you had to finish it before it went bad. \ “Yeah…it’s still OK, but drink it either today or tomorrow, because by Friday it’ll be bad.” Same with Orange Juice, lunchmeat, and - well - pretty much everything. And I third the request to just make patchouli _go away_. ---
**Author:** ![look\_hergo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85e7bf/32.png) [@look\_hergo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_hergo)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/97 "2005-03-31T00:42:38Z")
I have the ability to look like a shop clerk of any store I go into. No matter what I am wearing or doing, someone will come up and ask me where their sought-after item is stocked. And Og help me, I usually stop my shopping to take them to it. \*(Honestly people, if you need shaving cream, it’s probably in the aisle under that big sign over there that says “toiletries”, dontcha think?) \* My powers are great, and my clerk-resembling exact, but both fail immediately after the item is found and handed to the person, who then looks surprised and says, “Why, you don’t work here, do you?!” ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/98 "2005-03-31T09:40:00Z")
Remember another superpower. I never get a hangover. Of course that could just be youthful vigor but the day after St. Patricks Day was quite comfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fromage_A_Trois)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/99 "2005-03-31T13:01:35Z")
Like **Sublight** , I can walk along a busy street or crowds, and manage to guide myself through the gaps that a second later won’t be there. It saves an awful lot of time when shopping, although it does mean my girlfriend tends to get left behind. With people I know, I can predict what they’re going to say, or how they’ll react. This has tailed off in recent years, but I used to be able to have an entire conversation in my head “me, them, me, them” etc, then do it in real life and be accurate. ---
**Author:** ![Sleel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Sleel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleel)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2005, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252/100 "2005-04-01T05:22:11Z")
I have an Aura of Confession. People tell me things they’ve never told anyone before. Before I stopped dating girls who needed “fixing,” I would inevitably attract ones who had been raped or abused. The Aura of Confession works for everyone though, not just the abused. A corollary power was being good at fixing them. Most of my screwed-up exs are happily married now to men who treat them well. I can feel when people are watching me. I’ve surprised more than one person by whipping my head around and catching them looking. It works over fairly long distances. I have the urge to call people just before they call me. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve heard someone say with surprise, “I was just thinking about calling you!” I have selective precognition. On every vacation trip I’ve ever taken I’ve had a flash of deja vu coupled with knowledge I couldn’t possibly know. “Turn right here, dad.” “No, that’s the wrong direction.” “No, it’s right, trust me.” “How would you know, you weren’t looking at the map and you’ve never been here before either.” I’m always right if I’m on a trip. This precog flash almost never happens except during a trip and is often inaccurate if it does happen at other times. I also can hear very high pitched noises, like electronics or bats. “Ultrasonic” door opening devices hurt me. When sonic flea-repellent pet collars were a fad, I walked around with my teeth clenched or my fingers in my ears a lot of the time. I can hear trains coming because the rails shriek for a minute or two before they come. This has declined a bit with age and abuse (forgot earplugs a couple of times when going to concerts; bad, bad idea) but until I was in my mid-20s I couldn’t stand to go anywhere close to the electronic appliance department because it was like standing next to an alarm. Made my teeth itch too. For a male, I have a very good sense of smell. I used to be able to smell when a woman was interested because of the way her smell changed. I could smell this even from a few feet away while she was fully clothed. In more intimate encounters I always knew if what I was doing was working for her, partly because of this power. One woman puzzled me because her body language didn’t match her smell. Turned out that she really liked it but was ahamed of responding too strongly. This has also declined a bit, but I blame breaking my nose a few years ago rather than age and wear and tear. Jeez, looking at the above, maybe my superhero name would be Animal Man or Super-Sense Man. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-nearly-useless-superpowers-you-think-you-have/296252.md?page=6)