# Minor pit: Are men not allowed to buy sheets? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 5, 2012, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493 "2012-08-05T05:01:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/21 "2012-08-05T14:35:59Z")
That’s why I shop for my sheets online. I don’t have to worry about the prying eyes of the public. They show up in a discreet brown box that says ‘Not sheets’. Not one of my neighbors knows of my sick fetish for covering my man mattress. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/22 "2012-08-05T14:40:55Z")
Were you wearing a gamer as a hat? I get shitty treatment when I go to auto parts stores, for some reason. Not hateful, just ignoring. It’s like having a penis make you visible in there. ---
**Author:** ![Marconi\_N.Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Marconi\_N.Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marconi_N.Cheese)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/23 "2012-08-05T14:51:19Z")
After all that, you should have posed the question “what do you recommend for wrapping dead bodies for disposal”? ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/24 "2012-08-05T15:06:10Z")
That’s really weird, and something I’ve never experienced. Was your cock out? Are you creepy in general? Joe ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/25 "2012-08-05T15:09:57Z")
That is just beyond bizarre to me. Do you look like a scary biker dude? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/26 "2012-08-05T15:40:37Z")
“Yeah, I got tired of sleeping on rocks and straw and decided to try out one of them new fangled ‘bed’ things. I hope it works out.” ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/27 "2012-08-05T15:44:25Z")
I figured if cedar shavings were good enough for hamsters they were good enough for me. Though I guess I shouldn’t have told that cute female clerk why I was actually buying 40 bags of the stuff. They did throw in one of those water bottle things for free, which I mounted on the wall so I don’t have to get up at night for a drink…so thats nice. And man do I smell good when I get up in the morning. My Old Spice bill has plummeted let me tell you. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/28 "2012-08-05T15:58:20Z")
You probably set off the pedophile alarm system within the herd, and they circled their young. P.S. Don’t hang out in the kids section at the book store. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/29 "2012-08-05T16:08:20Z")
I bought new sheets a week ago, and didn’t get any unusual reaction at all when I did it. Just “OK, swipe your card through the reader there.”. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/30 "2012-08-05T16:14:42Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > God damn it! I’m just a pathetic single man with no woman to help me with these complicated linens of Satan. And I’m sick and tired of sleeping on 20 year old sheets stained with cheetos dust, spilt beer, gallons of semen, and tears of despair. Yes, I know these fucking sheets with the unicorns don’t match up with the plaid pillow cases but I don’t give a shit. Just ring me up bitch! This is, quite seriously, what I would encourage anyone to do should they encounter reactions such as the OP received. Because those reactions are not only not normal, they’re bizarre. Call the manager over when that kind of crap occurs. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/31 "2012-08-05T16:17:36Z")
An angry look and a stern (and loud) “I’m sorry, is there an issue with my purchase that is going to require a manager?” is usually quite enough to stop the bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/32 "2012-08-05T16:17:46Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > This is not what I consider to be a minor rant. > > That damn clerk is seriously whacked in the melon. > > The only time I went to BBB is when I was looking for a sleep mask. > > I entered the store and was immediately approached by a sales clerk. She wasn’t bitchy, she just asked me if she could help me with anything. I told her I’m just looking for a sleep mask. She then tells me: “We have some but you wouldn’t like them.” > > I took her at her word and did a 180. On my way home I got to thinking: “How the hell would she know if I wouldn’t like them?” … “Was that woman just trying to get me out of her store? What’s going on here?” > > My experience was laughable. The OP’s experience annoys the hell out of me. This experience is also terrible, though. It doesn’t matter if their only masks were pink with lace and bows and unicorns \. But that was still totally clueless and rude on her part. Well, probably more clueless than rude, but there are a dozen reasons a guy might WANT to buy sleep masks with unicorns and ribbons and it’s the opposite of her job to decide what you want. Ok, now I’ve gotta come up with a dozen reasons why a man might want to buy a sleep mask with unicorns and ribbons, don’t I? At least let me wake up first, mmkay? ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/33 "2012-08-05T16:21:35Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > That is just beyond bizarre to me. Do you look like a scary biker dude? Even scary biker dudes need sheets. ---
**Author:** ![leahcim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b4bc9f/32.png) [@leahcim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leahcim)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/34 "2012-08-05T16:25:38Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > God damn it! I’m just a pathetic single man with no woman to help me with these complicated linens of Satan. It’s actually spelled “Satin”. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/35 "2012-08-05T16:44:01Z")
In situations like that, I don’t get mad, I just throw it back on the other person acting like an asshole. Clerk: Is this for your wife or fiancee? Me: Oh no, she’s out of town, and me and the new lady are gonna have a GOOD time with these sheets. By the way, what is your return policy? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/36 "2012-08-05T17:01:09Z")
Did you have to buy the Strawberry Shortcake sheets? Where do you live? I’ve never had that problem getting bedding. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/37 "2012-08-05T17:02:47Z")
> [@leahcim](#): > > It’s actually spelled “Satin”. Not in Bed,Bath, and Beyond Redemption it isn’t 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/38 "2012-08-05T17:06:55Z")
You know, don’t you, that ALL the sizes, ALL the thread counts and ALL the colors taste **exactly the same** , right? “Ma’am, can you tell me if these taste Queen-sized to you?” ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/39 "2012-08-05T17:07:58Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Not in Bed,Bath, and Beyond Redemption it isn’t 🙂 Satin is in the bedding department. Satan is in the beyond department. Easy to tell the difference really. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493/40 "2012-08-05T17:45:26Z")
I am a big scary biker dude. Back in my first life, that wife liked to go to upper scale stores. I was just hanging out waiting but she wanted me THERE. I would get the “Can I help YOU?” until murder was looking like more of an option. Even, “I’m with her…” did not cover the hordes of new clerks that seemed to appear. So… I would step over to the ladies undergarments area and sneer while I fondled the panties on display. No one would approach me them. Really pissed the wife off too. Win, win… \< VEG \> [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pit-are-men-not-allowed-to-buy-sheets/630493.md?page=3)