# Minor Pitting of Mother-In-Law **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 22, 2011, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082 "2011-12-22T15:28:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/81 "2011-12-23T21:47:21Z")
You’ve seemed a little stressed lately. This explains it all. Welcome to the brotherhood. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/82 "2011-12-23T21:49:25Z")
> [@redtail23](#): > > (not to mention strainers and sieves) Oh, I’ve got strainers. I’ve got so many strainers, my strainers have strainers. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/83 "2011-12-23T23:04:19Z")
Been there, done that. My daughter was born in September. My son was thirteen months old when she was born. And my mother in laws house is filled with antiquities (I’m not kidding, things dug up in Greece from before Christ was born). So I’m not taking a newly walking fourteen month old to her house for Thanksgiving, and I’m not cooking with the whole not sleeping, breastfeeding all the time thing. So I get the boxed Thanksgiving dinner. Because in MY family the thing that is important about the holiday is the family. My mom isn’t a great cook (she’s pretty good) and the idea is to feed twenty without spending all day in the kitchen on cooking and cleaning up. My mother in law is gracious, but has spent the last decade I think disappointed. Underneath her gracious acceptance is an unwillingness to acknowledge how little choice I had. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/84 "2011-12-23T23:39:16Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > It’s pottery. I couldn’t figure out how to phrase it using hte word “pottery” so I just said what pottery is made of… 😉 Ceramic? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/85 "2011-12-24T00:10:02Z")
> [@Foxy40](#): > > Do often feel attacked and call strangers names on the internet? You may want to get some help for that. It really isn’t healthy. Wow, Foxy has figured it out! Everyone who calls people names on the Internet has a mental disorder! If we all just get psychiatric treatment, we can shut down the Pit for good! Of course, if we’re all mentally challenged, you have to wonder about people who willingly post here who can’t stand being called names, full well knowing that it’s one of the main purposes of this forum. BTW, I love the fact that **miss elizabeth** will never see this post. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/86 "2011-12-24T00:28:28Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Ceramic? That is the word I kept trying to produce but my brain wouldn’t squeeze it out. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/87 "2011-12-24T01:42:20Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > That is the word I kept trying to produce but my brain wouldn’t squeeze it out. My gift from me to you. Merry Christmas. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/88 "2011-12-24T03:58:51Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Wow, Foxy has figured it out! Everyone who calls people names on the Internet has a mental disorder! If we all just get psychiatric treatment, we can shut down the Pit for good! > > Of course, if we’re all mentally challenged, you have to wonder about people who willingly post here who can’t stand being called names, full well knowing that it’s one of the main purposes of this forum. > > BTW, I love the fact that **miss elizabeth** will never see this post. Goddammit, you’re annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/89 "2011-12-24T05:01:35Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > Oh my god, you people are assholes! If you like her so much and want to eat her cooking, invite the bitch to your house! Seriously, right? I mean, if it were my mom she wouldn’t have said anything if she weren’t paying for it, cooking it, and cleaning it. And she’d be ready to back my shit up if I said we were going to fucking Bojangles for Christmas. But still - easy as hell for people who aren’t pregnant with a toddler and saddled with somebody who decides at the last minute to inflict her plans on everybody else to judge! (I have only realized while planning this wedding that my mom is AWESOME, by the way. If something’s really important to her, she speaks up. If not, she backs me up.) ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/90 "2011-12-24T05:07:43Z")
NETA - I didn’t see the second page - that resolution is great (and I will keep in reserve the “let your mother in law make her dessert” idea, that is fabulous.) By the way, I own THREE colander and we don’t know what the hell to register for for this wedding but have been informed that people will be offended if we say ‘no gifts’. We are the colander percent. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/91 "2011-12-24T06:55:36Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Here is the resolution of the matter: > > We will have our traditional Christmas Eve chili pie. > > We will have our traditional Christmas Morning cinnamon rolls. > > We will have our traditional Christmas sausage balls, which together with other snacky foods will be our Christmas lunch. > > For Christmas dinner, MIL will make her famous (in her immediate family) Broccoli Cheese casserole, which her daughter loves. This shall be a side dish accompanying our turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, stuffing, rolls and cranberry sauce from that fine eating establishment that has been discussed previously. > > THE PEACE IS KEPT FOR THIS YEAR. _applause_ There is a takeout place close to my grandmother’s called La Bona Teca (Catalan for “good food” or “a good meal”); we started buying their chicken _a l’ast_ (roasted, but in a contraption nobody has at home so it’s crispier than homemade) for celebrations sometime before my youngest brother was taller than the table. Nowadays Grandma gets most of her meals from there; the immense majority of their dishes are either traditional Spanish cooking or have already become popular enough that you’ll get people claiming they’re traditional. I’m reasonably sure baby back ribs are not traditional Spanish cooking, promise - not unless we’re talking about when Louisiana was ours; as for spring rolls, maybe they can be claimed as traditional by Portuguese whose relatives ever lived in Macao, but certainly not by Spanish cuisine. You can get your seasonal veggies, you can get roasts, pasta, rice, salads… at reasonable prices. They sell portions and half portions; these are very popular with children, old folk and people trying to lose weight. La Bona Teca has been a childhood treat for me for close to 30 years 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/92 "2011-12-24T07:52:07Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > …easy as hell for people who aren’t \*\*pregnant with a toddler \*\*… :eek: You may want to consider having the doctor induce labor…or a C-section. Yes, a C-section. Soon. You don’t want to still be pregnant with him when he’s in school… ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/93 "2011-12-24T16:51:03Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > So you have the money, but you’re going to charge your guests for food if they want something homemade? > > She sounds like a well-intentioned meddler, but you sound like a cheap bastard. Have a great holiday! Sorry, Frylock. Some of us here feel obligated to be meanspirited (bein’ the Pit an’ all). As a felow cheap bastard, I think your approach was valid: if MIL wants a big feast, she can chip in. If I were her (and really trying to help), I’d welcome the honesty and the chance to contribute. But then I may be more rational than your wife’s family. I remember the days of having a kid and a preggers wife. I was just barely coping, and ANY additional work would’ve pushed me over the edge. But I agree with the comment about getting a spine – why don’t you or your wife (or better yet, both) talk to MIL and ask if she could help with some housework, or at least cleanup? In my case, it wouldn’t be pleasant (lots of put-upon huffing, and passive-aggressive questioning), but after all the drama was over, the house’d be clean! ETA: Missed the fact that there was a second page, so JUST saw the Resolution; CONGRATS! And a Merry Christmas to all… (but I still say, ask her to help with cleaning) ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/94 "2011-12-24T17:49:15Z")
Glad you resolved it. Also, I feel for you. And your wife. Quite literally. I’m 28 weeks pregnant with twins and a preschooler and a toddler, and we’re doing Christmas dinner here tomorrow, but my parents are bringing most of the sides, and all I have to do is cook the turkey and decide at 4:00 tomorrow that picking up the livingroom is too much work. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/95 "2011-12-24T18:06:36Z")
I’m just surprised nobody’s getting the traditional take-out meal on Christmas Day. You know, Chinese. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/96 "2011-12-24T18:14:38Z")
> [@digs](#): > > But I agree with the comment about getting a spine – why don’t you or your wife (or better yet, both) talk to MIL and ask if she could help with some housework, or at least cleanup? In my case, it wouldn’t be pleasant (lots of put-upon huffing, and passive-aggressive questioning), It’s to avoid that that we aren’t more direct with her. Keeping peace seems to us to be more important than getting our way. This does allow us to be taken advantage of to some extent sometimes, I guess–but it’s not like we’re without limits or anything. Anyway, as you saw, the resolution seems to be good for everyone. (I’m pretty sure MIL’s not really happy about it but she’s keeping her mouth shut. Unfortunately, that’s all I can hope for in situations like this. The kids love her so much! 😉 It’s for the children… 😃 ) but after all the drama was over, the house’d be clean! > [@](#): > > (but I still say, ask her to help with cleaning) Lest I draw too negative a picture of the lady, I should note that she’ll definitely volunteer for this and I’ll definitely let her… ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/97 "2011-12-24T20:31:34Z")
> [@Lissla\_Lissar](#): > > Glad you resolved it. Also, I feel for you. And your wife. > > Quite literally. I’m 28 weeks pregnant with twins and a preschooler and a toddler, and we’re doing Christmas dinner here tomorrow, but my parents are bringing most of the sides, and all I have to do is cook the turkey and decide at 4:00 tomorrow that picking up the livingroom is too much work. Let me help you a little bit. Picking up the living room, when you have a preschooler and a toddler in the house, is pretty much a futile exercise. Since you’re pregnant ON TOP of having a couple of small children, you should only expend your energy on things that will make a difference. Picking up the place will only make a difference for about 15-30 minutes if the kids are awake and active. If someone gripes, or even sniffs, hand them a broom, a feather duster, and a garbage bag. Your first priority is to be a good incubator, and not get all stressed out. You are doing ENOUGH by cooking the damn bird. Now, go have a nice cup of tea or hot chocolate and put your feet up. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082/98 "2011-12-27T02:21:14Z")
> [@redtail23](#): > > Oh, please. I’m very fond of food and love to cook. We host Thanksgiving and Xmas dinners for 3 families = lots of people. All homemade and damn good. > > But I have also eaten holiday dinners from a local store, when circumstances warranted it. That was fine also. And at the time, it kept the holiday from turning into an insane, over-stressed nightmare instead of a pleasant time with family. We had a lovely dinner and a great time - with no cooking and very little cleanup. I appreciated the effort that folks made to create a good holiday, however that happened… :::checks login::: Nope, you’re not me :D. We do the big Thanksgiving dinner, all homemade, also. Christmas too though we usually don’t have guests. However there was one year where due to circumstances, we were just too stressed and tired and did the “entire thanksgiving dinner from Giant for 40 bucks”. We did some cooking also, and had to brown the turkey in the oven a bit, but it was a HELL of a lot easier and we were all there for the company anyway, not the Perfect Holiday Food. Oh - and now that it’s after Christmas, how did things actually go down? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-pitting-of-mother-in-law/607082.md?page=4)