# Minor Simpson's characters you love **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 22, 2002, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527 "2002-03-22T14:15:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lenny\_Carl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9dc877/32.png) [@Lenny\_Carl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lenny_Carl)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2002, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/41 "2002-03-22T20:35:31Z")
Wait, wait, wait - Disco Stu hit on Bart last week and I was not informed? You go now! ---
**Author:** ![Survey1215](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@Survey1215](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Survey1215)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2002, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/42 "2002-03-22T20:39:50Z")
Dear Lord, I confused Troy McClure with Lionel Hutz. I am depressed. Inexcusable - I’ll be stripped of my Simpsons Fan Club membership for sure. My god. I am embarrassed. Forgive me. Another minor character who gets a bit too much screen time - **Kirk Van Houten.** ---
**Author:** ![trishdish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d2c977/32.png) [@trishdish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trishdish)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2002, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/43 "2002-03-22T20:55:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RaCha’ar \* > \*\*I can’t believe there isn’t a full-on **Disco Stu** fan club in here. He’s awesome. Hitting on Bart in last week’s episode was just the icing on the cake. \*\* But, it wasn’t disCO Stu. It was disCUS Stu. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2002, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/44 "2002-03-22T21:04:08Z")
I’m fond of the sarcastic guy…he doesn’t have his name, he just makes sarcastic comments: (When Homer gained 161 lbs.): Hey, fattie, I got a movie for ya! A fridge too far! (Homer tosses his pants out the window and screams “From this day forward, I am inventor!”) Hey, buddy, do us a favor. Invent yourself some underpants! The quotes are much funnier when you use his voice… ---
**Author:** ![av8rmike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@av8rmike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/av8rmike)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2002, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/45 "2002-03-22T21:41:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dirty\_bird18 \* > \*\*Duffman rulez!!! \*\* [Looking at Moe’s face on the Duff calendar] Duffman: Now there’s a mug you don’t wanna chug! V.P. of Calendars and Fake I.D.'s: Knock it off, Larry. [Moe slaps a sticker over Duffman’s face] Duffman: Duffman can’t breathe! Oh no! ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2002, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/46 "2002-03-22T23:22:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sealemon88 \* > \*\*Dude, I like totaly love the snake-tattoed criminal. > “I’m taking this thing to Mexico!” \*\* Appropriatly named, Snake. I’ve got to third GIl. I just love him “Oh, this is bad, this is really bad! You work, and you slave, and you steal just enough for a sweet lick of that shiny brass ring… don’t I get a lick? Doesn’t Gil get a lick?” Heh. Duffman’s pretty cool too “Duffmann can’t breath” ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2002, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/47 "2002-03-22T23:33:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Corvus \* > \*\* > > Duffman’s pretty cool too > > “Duffmann can’t breath” \*\* awww carp… What **av8rmike** said. ---
**Author:** ![Minor\_Irritant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Minor\_Irritant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minor_Irritant)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2002, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/48 "2002-03-22T23:38:04Z")
Moleman rules! “Welcome to Moleman in the Morning…good Moleman to you…” He’s so pathetic, it’s funny. Also, for the truly obscure, Dr. Colossus! WIGGUM: “And stay away from Death Mountain!” COLOSSUS: “Aw, but all my stuff is there.” Plus, he was married to Malibu Stacy’s creator! Haven’t seen him around lately, though…but if Disco Stu can come back, anybody can! Colossus shall return… ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2002, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/49 "2002-03-22T23:41:34Z")
I like Manjula. I don’t need a reason. I just like her. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/50 "2002-03-23T00:24:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Minor Irritant \* > \*\*Moleman rules! > “Welcome to Moleman in the Morning…good Moleman to you…” > He’s so pathetic, it’s funny. > > Also, for the truly obscure, Dr. Colossus! > WIGGUM: “And stay away from Death Mountain!” > COLOSSUS: “Aw, but all my stuff is there.” > Plus, he was married to Malibu Stacy’s creator! Haven’t seen him around lately, though…but if Disco Stu can come back, anybody can! Colossus shall return… \*\* Yes! I LOVE doctor colossus! He was introduced first as the former husbad of that lady, but then he was in an episode! DC: All shall tremble at the feet of doctor colossus! (pushes a button to make his boots expand, hitting his head on the celieng.) Oww… I also love Gil, Disco Stu, Crazy Old Man, Pimpy Faced Teen, Comic Book Guy, abd Bumblebee Man. BM: A trajic flood today in guatalungpur (I spelled THAT wrong) killed 900 people…Aye aye aye, woah! (falls out of chair.) But the best charactar of all is Professor Frink. PF: Now, working with former Carter administration personal and military officers who were forced into early retirement for various reasons we won’t get into here, mmmhey. ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/51 "2002-03-23T00:36:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Corvus \* > \*\* > > I’ve got to third GIl. I just love him > > “Oh, this is bad, this is really bad! You work, and you slave, and you steal just enough for a sweet lick of that shiny brass ring… don’t I get a lick? Doesn’t Gil get a lick?” > > \*\* Yeah you gotta love Gil. If you don’t like Gil you need to see “Glengarry Glen Ross” Gil is the Jack Lemmon character to a T. After seeing that movie my wife has a greater appreciation for Gil. ---
**Author:** ![tourbot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@tourbot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tourbot)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/52 "2002-03-23T01:27:59Z")
Does the panicky guy have a name? After someone gives an introduction to the Statue of Liberty (without naming it) he jumps off the ship screaming: “This enormous woman will devour us all!” During the teacher strike: **Panicky guy:** Oh my god, the PTA has disbanded! (jumps out window) **Ned:** No, no! The PTA has not disbanded. **Panicky guy:** (reverses back in through the window and sits down.) Moleman is also always great for a laugh. **Marge:** Maybe I am crazy, I am talking to myself. **Moleman:** You are? I thought I’d made a new friend. ---
**Author:** ![Efrem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@Efrem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Efrem)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/53 "2002-03-23T03:15:27Z")
Oh come on people, there are few who could match Hank Scorpio _cue bond music_ * * * Hank: Uh, Homer, one second. I gotta take care of this. Very important. Be right back. Homer: Fine. [Hank’s map of the world reveals a giant viewscreen, on which appears the UN staff] Hank: Good afternoon, gentlemen. This is Scorpio. I have the Doomsday Device. You have 72 hours to deliver the gold or you’ll face the consequences. And to prove I’m not bluffing, watch this. [activates a remote] [an explosion occurs near the UN building] Man 1: Oh, my God, the 59th Street bridge! Man 2: Maybe it just collapsed on its own. Man 1: We can’t take that chance. Man 2: You always say that. I want to take a chance. Hank: Collapsed on its own? You, sh… You have 72 hours. See ya. * * * Hank: By the way, Homer, what’s your least favorite country: Italy or France? Homer: France. Hank: [chuckles] Nobody ever says Italy. [sets the coordinates of a giant laser gun] * * * [a stange james bond like guy is stapped to a big machine] Hank: Ingenious, isn’t it, Mr. Bont? Bont: Scorpio, you’re totally mad. Hank: Heh, I wouldn’t point fingers, you jerk. * * * [homer informs Hank that his family wants to leave] Hank: Let them go. You’ll stay here with me, we’ll go bowling. [a burning man runs by] What’s bothering them? [troops are shooting at each other] Homer: Nothing big. It’s just a lot of little things. Hank: Well, you can’t argue with the little things. It’s the little things that make up life. [throws a grenade] * * * Hank: If you need anything, you call me. Homer: All right. What’s the number? Hank: I’ve never had to call my own company. Someone will tell you upstairs. But, Homer, on your way out, if you wanna kill somebody, it would help a lot. [goes off to use a flamethrower on the troops] * * * Compiled with help from [snpp.com](http://snpp.com) ---
**Author:** ![Alma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alma)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/54 "2002-03-23T07:14:45Z")
Fat Tony. Ooh Fat Tony. Joe Mantegna is inspired. “Now, Homer, as you no doubt recall, you were done a favor by our, uh, how shall I say – Mafia Crime Syndicate.” “You have 24 hours to give us our money. And to show you we’re serious… you have 12 hours.” At the ‘Legitimate Businessman’s Social Club’: “Please accept this kickback as a token of our esteem.” “Hello, Mayor Quimby. I would like to remind you that accidents will happen. Like the killing of you, by us.” ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/55 "2002-03-23T13:39:29Z")
Dammit! I read through the whole thread hoping to have the glory of nominating Hans Moleman… but then I am pipped by two posters towards the end. :: pout, pout :: When Selma kicks Hans out of her car after their date: “This isn’t my house…” Priceless! ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/56 "2002-03-23T16:11:32Z")
Bont: Do you expect me to talk, Mr. Scorpio? Scorpio: All I expect from you is to die and be a cheap funeral. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/57 "2002-03-23T18:15:05Z")
The hounds. I am also oddly fond of Otto. Can’t imagine why. ---
**Author:** ![musicguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@musicguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/musicguy)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/58 "2002-03-23T19:52:04Z")
Maybe it’s just because I’m a musician but I can’t believe I am the first to mention **Bleedin’ Gums Murphy**! The episode where he sang the Star Spangled Banner just about killed me. And my favorite line… BGM: “Lisa, the blues isn’t about making yourself feel better, it’s about making other people feel worse”. Priceless! ---
**Author:** ![Fingolfin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eada6e/32.png) [@Fingolfin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fingolfin)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/59 "2002-03-23T20:29:41Z")
Snowball I. RIP. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527/60 "2002-03-23T23:18:49Z")
Nobody’s mentioned **Lou**? “Without that marijuana, he might even be… blinder.” “Nice park job!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-simpsons-characters-you-love/99527.md?page=4)