# Minor things you find you are surprisingly judgemental about **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 7, 2009, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604 "2009-08-07T05:44:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/161 "2009-08-12T18:03:24Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > People who view mental illness as a character flaw. I had an epiphany about this sort of thing and related behavior a while back. Animal Herd Instinct. Yup, we’re so “evolved” that we don’t even realize that we’re still acting like scared little herd animals. You see, there are Wolves. Other Humans are those wolves, the predators hidden among us. We’re scared of them. People with illnesses (mental or physical) or other weaknesses are perceived as “prey” by these people, and by us. Therefore, when we are afraid of these predators, we are pre-disposed to not want to be too closely associated with the weak prey animals around us, for fear that we too will be seen as prey. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/162 "2009-08-12T19:04:36Z")
When others tell me of their “open marriages” I can’t help but think that it is a rationalization for their lack of committment or honesty to their spouse. While I’m sure that altruistic open free love arrangements exist, I think 99% of them are just making excuses. ---
**Author:** ![Other\_Dreams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Other\_Dreams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Other_Dreams)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/163 "2009-08-12T22:59:59Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > [snip] > > ETA - oh, am I the first one to say picky eaters? I know it’s none of my business what you eat, I just think you’re a rude and spoiled child. [snip] How do you define picky? Do they have a certain way everything needs to be made? Is it people who refuse to try anything new? I am just trying to understand the specifics of some of these woes. > [@Chimera](#): > > I had an epiphany about this sort of thing and related behavior a while back. > > Animal Herd Instinct. > > Yup, we’re so “evolved” that we don’t even realize that we’re still acting like scared little herd animals. > > You see, there are Wolves. Other Humans are those wolves, the predators hidden among us. We’re scared of them. People with illnesses (mental or physical) or other weaknesses are perceived as “prey” by these people, and by us. Therefore, when we are afraid of these predators, we are pre-disposed to not want to be too closely associated with the weak prey animals around us, for fear that we too will be seen as prey. If you’re saying that we all experience this _animal herd instinct_ in relation to mental illness, then I disagree. olivesmarsh4th clearly does not. Otherwise, epiphany-tastic. 🙂 Curiously, ~S.P.I.~ ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/164 "2009-08-12T23:07:52Z")
> [@Other\_Dreams](#): > > If you’re saying that we all experience this _animal herd instinct_ in relation to mental illness, then I disagree. olivesmarsh4th clearly does not. Otherwise, epiphany-tastic. 🙂 Well, then there’s the entire world of experience and exasperation in dealing with mental illness. I have no patience for some forms of mental illness just because I’m either tired of dealing with them or too strongly annoyed by them. But then, to combine threads around here, I’m the only person in the Universe and I have Dis-associative Disorder that makes me think all of you are different people when you’re really only other personalities within my own mind. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/165 "2009-08-13T00:01:19Z")
Ug, just remembered another one. Couples who can’t do anything separately. Just because you’re married does not mean you have to share the same tube of toothpaste for the rest of your life. You can even see different movies, and move farther than arm’s distance away from each other at parties, ok? Anything that even looks like co-dependence bugs me. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/166 "2009-08-13T00:12:00Z")
Along the lines of inseparable married couples - Women (usually, but not always newlyweds) who begin every other sentence with: "MY HUSBAND - (fill in what husbands says/thinks/feels/eats/does…). ---
**Author:** ![Other\_Dreams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Other\_Dreams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Other_Dreams)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/167 "2009-08-13T00:35:04Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Well, then there’s the entire world of experience and exasperation in dealing with mental illness. I have no patience for some forms of mental illness just because I’m either tired of dealing with them or too strongly annoyed by them. > > But then, to combine threads around here, I’m the only person in the Universe and I have Dis-associative Disorder that makes me think all of you are different people when you’re really only other personalities within my own mind. 😃 Colour me confused\*. ~S.P.I.~ \*It is a combination of orange and fuschia. Yes, the bucket over there, master personality. ---
**Author:** ![Rumor\_Watkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@Rumor\_Watkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rumor_Watkins)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/168 "2009-08-13T02:11:14Z")
I look down on people who look down on people. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/169 "2009-08-13T03:28:38Z")
> [@Rumor\_Watkins](#): > > I look down on people who look down on people. Shame on you! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/170 "2009-08-13T03:55:30Z")
> [@Rumor\_Watkins](#): > > I look down on people who look down on people. Then you must, in fact, be upside down. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/171 "2009-08-13T03:57:28Z")
Rumor\_Watkins: > [@](#): > > I look down on people who look down on people. Recursive condescension! ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/172 "2009-08-13T13:48:40Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Well, then there’s the entire world of experience and exasperation in dealing with mental illness. I have no patience for some forms of mental illness just because I’m either tired of dealing with them or too strongly annoyed by them. I know we share similar experiences in this vein, so I do want to reiterate that protecting yourself from the abusive actions of psychologically sick people is not the same as judging those people for being psychologically sick. And it doesn’t even have to be an extreme case. I can only take my schizophrenic uncle in limited doses, mostly because he almost inevitably begins to ramble in detail about child abuse, with no concept that he is making the people around him uncomfortable. But establishing boundaries there in no way invalidates my compassion for his condition. But my Mom, for example, is convinced that he would be able to recover if he weren’t so self-centered and lazy. His refusal to accept his condition is based on his desire to keep everyone under his thumb, his inability to hold down a job is laziness, and his relapses are attempts at manipulation, etc. I have tried to explain to her one billion times that the behavior she perceives as morally flawed is symptomatic almost universally in people who share his diagnosis and is a manifestation of his illness. But she refuses to listen and has even implied that he is really a sociopath (her cite: at ten, he got his friends to rake the yard so he didn’t have to. That’s serial killer material right there. :rolleyes:) That is the nonsense to which I am specifically referring. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/173 "2009-08-13T15:00:28Z")
Nah, if he was a serial killer, he’d have convinced them to rake his yard, killed them, and conveniently hit their various body parts in the bags of leaves they themselves had gathered up for him! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Neverender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/848f3c/32.png) [@Neverender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neverender)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/174 "2009-08-13T15:17:38Z")
> [@Other\_Dreams](#): > > Mmm, I was saying that as a left-handed person I might use a different hand for the same thing than a right-handed person would. If you just mean the layout of the table…I could be misremembering which hands I use for what you’re describing. > > Yes, I did mention I was asthmatic. They asked, “Do you mind if I smoke in here?” and I informed them of my ailment. They said they didn’t care (Then why ask if I minded?) and blew smoke in my face. If someone is smoking and I don’t like the smoke, I tend to move away from it. This is fine to me. I prefer to remove myself than to ask the same of someone else. But it sounded like the person wanted to be polite and move away, only to suddenly change their mind. Perhaps I gave an unintended attitude. Either way, I judge them for their rudeness. Admittedly, it is not a _surprising_ thing to be judgmental about. > > **I did not mean to be confrontational with you** when I made note of left-handed people, I was poking fun where perhaps I shouldn’t have. 🙂 You’re not, don’t worry. I’m just kidding anyway, do I come across as too aggressive? Well what I meant is that when using two hands to do something, there shouldn’t really be any hand dominance issues, having the fork in the left hand, and the knife in the right (as it _should_ be :p), as it requires the use of both hands anyway. Like you don’t need left handed handlebars on a bike or anything, or swap the front brake and clutch levers round on a motorbike, just because it’s normal to do one thing with the dominant hand. Sounds like the person was being a real dick! Of course, you do realise when s/he asked if you mind, you’re _supposed_ to say no :p. On the other hand, s/he probably thought s/he was being funny, and a lot of people don’t understand how bad asthma can be. ---
**Author:** ![maniondl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@maniondl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maniondl)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/175 "2009-08-13T16:34:35Z")
And now we unleash the rage! 🙂 People with personalized license plates - Not to be cruel, but I don’t give a rat’s ass that you’re Mom2Twns People with flashy custom rims - Usually they’re on cars worth less than the wheels themselves. It pretty much screams “I should not be trusted with money or any important decision!” (note, used only one exclamation point) People who believe that incredibly complex compound sentence structure enhances whatever point they’re trying to make. I’m a writer, and few people can actually write a four line sentence with eight subordinate clauses that makes any sense at all. If you want to say it, say it clearly. People who fear technology, saying “Oh, I could never figure that out”. - I get that there’s a learning curve, but just give it a shot. By preemptively declaring defeat you’re denying yourself access to something that might improve your quality of life. Facial piercings - Yeah, I’m old and out of touch. People who make phone calls in the men’s room - I’m sorry, but you’re just not that important. People who drive H2s and H3s - I don’t like the Hummer, but I can respect it for what it is. The “lesser” models are just rebranded SUVs with extra chrome and dick factor. ---
**Author:** ![maniondl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@maniondl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maniondl)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/176 "2009-08-13T16:38:02Z")
Oh, and lest I forget - People who believe they win more often than they lose at casinos - learn some basic probability. In the long run, you’ve almost certainly lost more than you’ve won. Just because you came out $200 ahead last week does not offset the $1000 you dropped last month. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/177 "2009-08-13T16:40:42Z")
maniondl: > [@](#): > > People who believe they win more often than they lose at casinos - learn some basic probability. In the long run, you’ve almost certainly lost more than you’ve won. Just because you came out $200 ahead last week does not offset the $1000 you dropped last month. Maybe they’re telling the truth. I don’t go to casinos on a regular basis (maybe once every other year or so), and I always make a point of a) not allowing myself to lose more than a certain amount and b) quitting once I’ve gone ahead by a certain amount. I can state with confidence that I’ve come out ahead of the casinos in my personal history with them. ---
**Author:** ![maniondl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@maniondl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maniondl)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/178 "2009-08-13T16:47:19Z")
> [@cmkeller](#): > > maniondl: > > Maybe they’re telling the truth. I don’t go to casinos on a regular basis (maybe once every other year or so), and I always make a point of a) not allowing myself to lose more than a certain amount and b) quitting once I’ve gone ahead by a certain amount. I can state with confidence that I’ve come out ahead of the casinos in my personal history with them. I’m willing to concede that there are people out there (like you) who have indeed won more than they’ve lost. In the vast majority of cases, however, people lose more than they take away. That’s why the casinos are still in business. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/179 "2009-08-13T17:16:21Z")
> [@maniondl](#): > > Oh, and lest I forget - > > People who believe they win more often than they lose at casinos - learn some basic probability. In the long run, you’ve almost certainly lost more than you’ve won. Just because you came out $200 ahead last week does not offset the $1000 you dropped last month. I used to work with a girl who would regularly drop $10 or $12 at a time on lottery scratch-off tickets. She was convinced she was coming out ahead, because she’d usually get a winning ticket in each batch - for $2. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604/180 "2009-08-13T18:10:42Z")
> [@cmkeller](#): > > Maybe they’re telling the truth. I don’t go to casinos on a regular basis (maybe once every other year or so), and I always make a point of a) not allowing myself to lose more than a certain amount and b) quitting once I’ve gone ahead by a certain amount. I can state with confidence that I’ve come out ahead of the casinos in my personal history with them. I think he meant people that do go into casinos on a regular basis, or at least have gone a lot, and believe they are coming out ahead when that is highly unlikely. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/minor-things-you-find-you-are-surprisingly-judgemental-about/505604.md?page=10)