# Miscarriage Father's Responsibilities to Help Pay Bill (No Insurance) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 28, 2011, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079 "2011-06-28T00:20:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![sultry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@sultry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sultry)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/21 "2011-06-28T17:29:01Z")
Believe me I wish I could go back and change the day I made that mistake. Thanks for the info **Morgenstern** and thanks for the replies. Waiting on a call back from Medi-Cal. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Am\_The\_Lorax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e19adc/32.png) [@I\_Am\_The\_Lorax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Am_The_Lorax)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/22 "2011-06-29T04:17:07Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Guess that’s something you should have considered before having sex with the guy. _If I get pregnant, is this the type of guy that I would want to have as a father of my children? Is this the type of guy that share’s my values and sense of right and wrong? Is this the type of guy that would be there for me?_ You don’t think this is a little harsh considering what she’s going through right now? You don’t think she hasn’t already thought of this? **sultry,** I’m really sorry for your loss and hope everything works out. I can’t help any more than the other posters already have, as usual, but my thoughts go out to you. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/23 "2011-06-29T04:33:01Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Guess that’s something you should have considered before having sex with the guy. _If I get pregnant, is this the type of guy that I would want to have as a father of my children? Is this the type of guy that share’s my values and sense of right and wrong? Is this the type of guy that would be there for me?_ Guess something you should consider before offering advice is _will this post make me sound like a douche?_ ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/24 "2011-06-29T14:23:07Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Guess something you should consider before offering advice is _will this post make me sound like a douche?_ First, pretty sure it’s wrong forum for calling me douche. Second, The OP posts wanting her baby daddy to take responsibility. She’s equally responsible for the choices she has made. It’s a matter of risk management. Decisions have consequences and you should consider those before taking action…even if that’s getting into bed with someone. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/25 "2011-06-29T15:29:50Z")
\*\* ahem \*\* Pretty sure there’s no “baby daddy” when there’s, um, no actual _baby._ ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/26 "2011-06-29T15:41:21Z")
Boy, some people had extra smug-sprinkles on their self-righteousness flakes this morning, didn’t they? My sympathies to the OP, and I’ll reiterate the “IANAL, reapply for MediCal, forget about the father, you’re pretty much shit out of luck on that count” advice. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/27 "2011-06-29T16:18:38Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > The OP posts wanting her baby daddy to take responsibility. She’s equally responsible for the choices she has made. Uh, no. The OP wants her “baby daddy” to take _some_ responsibility, not all of it: > [@sultry](#): > > My question… Are there laws requiring the Father to **help** pay the bill? My bolding. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Am\_The\_Lorax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e19adc/32.png) [@I\_Am\_The\_Lorax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Am_The_Lorax)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/28 "2011-06-29T16:38:23Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > First, pretty sure it’s wrong forum for calling me douche. > > Second, The OP posts wanting her baby daddy to take responsibility. \*\* She’s equally responsible for the choices she has made.\*\* It’s a matter of risk management. Decisions have consequences and you should consider those before taking action…even if that’s getting into bed with someone. Bolding mine. And she asked if he is equally responsible, too. She didn’t ask if he was a good life partner, she didn’t ask if she should have slept with him, she didn’t ask if it’s a good idea to have his baby. She asked if he was **just as** responsible as she is. Please knock it off. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/29 "2011-06-29T18:16:52Z")
> [@I\_Am\_The\_Lorax](#): > > Please knock it off. Who are you to dictate what advice and what advice cannot be given to someone posting on a public message board? :rolleyes: The OP got knocked up by an apparent no account dick-wad. She wonders if he can be made responsible to help with her medical bills. I only suggest that before she has sex with someone again, maybe she should consider the character of the person she let’s stick their dick into her. If you don’t like that advice, so be it. You don’t have to consider it. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/30 "2011-06-29T18:20:21Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Who are you to dictate what advice and what advice cannot be given to someone posting on a public message board? :rolleyes: > > The OP got knocked up by an apparent no account dick-wad. She wonders if he can be made responsible to help with her medical bills. I only suggest that before she has sex with someone again, maybe she should consider the character of the person she let’s stick their dick into her. If you don’t like that advice, so be it. You don’t have to consider it. Here’s some advice - your posts make you sound like a dick-wad. If you want that not to be the case you ahold knock it off. Otherwise please carry on. OP I’m sorry for your loss - I hope you are able to get the help and information you need.l ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/31 "2011-06-29T18:22:30Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Who are you to dictate what advice and what advice cannot be given to someone posting on a public message board? :rolleyes: > > The OP got knocked up by an apparent no account dick-wad. She wonders if he can be made responsible to help with her medical bills. I only suggest that before she has sex with someone again, maybe she should consider the character of the person she let’s stick their dick into her. If you don’t like that advice, so be it. You don’t have to consider it. Here’s some advice - your posts make you sound like a dick-wad. If you want that not to be the case you should knock it off. Otherwise please carry on. OP I’m sorry for your loss - I hope you are able to get the help and information you need. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/32 "2011-06-29T19:02:52Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > First, pretty sure it’s wrong forum for calling me douche. In theory, it’s also the wrong forum to be one. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/33 "2011-06-29T19:10:21Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Here’s some advice - your posts make you sound like a dick-wad. Guess what…I don’t post here to please you, Lorax and DianaG. If you’ve got a problem with me…take it to the Pit. Otherwise, I’ll keep posting as I please or until an admin tells me that my opinions are not welcome in this forum. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/34 "2011-06-29T19:16:32Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Guess what…I don’t post here to please you, Lorax and DianaG. If you’ve got a problem with me…take it to the Pit. Otherwise, I’ll keep posting as I please or until an admin tells me that my opinions are not welcome in this forum. Hey - be my guest. I don’t give a flying rat’s patootie if you want to make yourself sound like a dick-wad. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/35 "2011-06-29T19:19:41Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Hey - be my guest. I don’t give a flying rat’s patootie if you want to make yourself sound like a dick-wad. Sure got a funny way of showing your ambivalence. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/36 "2011-06-29T19:26:33Z")
No, you’re certainly not obliged to please me. You do though, for the record. I find no end of amusement at the idea that you so generously offer up “advice” that would, if followed by more women, put rather a dent in your own social life. > [@Omar\_Little](#): > > I only suggest that before she has sex with someone again, maybe she should consider the character of the person she let’s stick their dick into her. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/37 "2011-06-29T19:30:19Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > No, you’re certainly not obliged to please me. You do though, for the record. I find no end of amusement at the idea that you so generously offer up “advice” that would, if followed by more women, put rather a dent in your own social life. When you guys hijack a thread, ya’ll really hijack it don’t you? As much as I like being the center of attention, this really isn’t the thread or the forum for it. My apologies to the OP that people seem to be more focused on my comments than your issues at hand. ---
**Author:** ![nicole1912](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9de0a6/32.png) [@nicole1912](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nicole1912)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/38 "2011-06-29T19:33:03Z")
OP, I can’t advise you because I’m not in the US, and don’t quite understand how your medical system works. I think here, you probably wouldn’t be able to make him pay anything, but it’s worth checking what social security type benefits you’re entitled to, and I’m sure you’re looking into that. If there’s an equivalent where you are to the Citizens Advice Bureau (which, in the UK, are a charity who give free advice on civil legal matters and things to members of the public) then you should talk to them, if you don’t talk to anyone else. I did want to say that I’m very sorry for your loss, and that you shouldn’t pay any attention to the… people passing judgment on your sex life. It’s none of their business, and your question didn’t invite that kind of commentary - nor is it at all relevant to your question. I hope you can find an answer that helps you out. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/39 "2011-06-29T20:21:15Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > If you’ve got a problem with me…take it to the Pit. [Okay, I will.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=614431) **Sultry** , one more wishing you the best. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079/40 "2011-06-29T20:42:11Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. Since most states don’t recognize a child as a legal entity until after birth, my best non-professional opinion would be that all the bills related to your pregnancy and miscarriage would fall under your insurance. And lacking insurance, they’ll bill you directly. At the risk of sounding crass, financially speaking, it’s akin to having a tumor removed. I know it seems unfair, but the law can’t bend both ways and give fathers the burden of financial responsibility for a fetus, then denying him decision making authority. If the law viewed a child as a separate, legal being en utero, it would open the door for fathers to seek injunctions against women seeking to abort one of their children. Once again, disclaimer that it’s not my area of expertise. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miscarriage-fathers-responsibilities-to-help-pay-bill-no-insurance/587079.md?page=3)