# Misogynistic language and its defenders **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 26, 2025, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162 "2025-06-26T16:25:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2025, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/121 "2025-06-27T23:35:53Z")
My comment is only peripherally relevant to the conversation here. This morning I was watching the weekly garbage truck drive up to the dumpster in the alley behind the building where I work. I was still a bit groggy as it was very early. I did a double take when I saw the name in huge red letters on the side of the truck. For a minute I seriously thought it said “Skank Waste Removal”. 😱 Nope - but just one letter off. Shank is the name of the garbage company. Not Skank. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2025, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/122 "2025-06-27T23:49:09Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I feel safe in saying C\_\_t is worse. And more cruel. > Yep, I know its spouted out by millions with out thinking. Never, ever, go to Australia. That’s just an everyday word there. Indeed, it’s almost a friendly thing if your pals call you that. I can say for me (in the US) I said it once (I was maybe 12 at the time…near enough) and it is the only time my sister slapped me…hard. Learned my lesson, never used that word again. ETA: Anecdotally…my ex-wife (but wife at the time) used the c-word once. I knew that she despised that word and its use. I was floored when I heard her use that word and called her out on it. She was unapologetic and told me, in that case, the shoe fit. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/123 "2025-06-28T00:43:21Z")
I have a friend who called his wife the c-word during an argument. I was surprised because he is a pretty feminist guy. She rained down hellfire and damnation for _days._ Everyone in our group was like, “The hell were you thinking?” “All right, apparently it’s a big deal. I had no idea.” Didn’t happen twice. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/124 "2025-06-28T00:55:12Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > It’s Boomer liberal. Which is a different kind of annoying liberal. Lots of worries about propriety and in some ways thinking the world is the same as it was in 1975 What on earth does this even mean? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/125 "2025-06-28T00:57:09Z")
Yeah. US is what I was speaking of. Incidently “skag” is popular in the UK. But I believe it to be tamer than “skank”. Just my thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/126 "2025-06-28T01:26:47Z")
If you call someone a skank as an insult, you’re telling me that you think three things about them, and consider them all to be contemptible: 1. They’re a woman. 2. They’re either from a lower social class, or you think they’re acting like they’re from a lower social class. 3. They enjoy sex in a way that violates norms. If you consider any one of those three things contemptible, I’ve got no use for you. If you think they’re all contemptible, fuck all the way off. ---
**Author:** ![aurora\_maire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aurora_maire/32/328_2.png) [@aurora\_maire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurora_maire)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/127 "2025-06-28T02:03:35Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > And 100s of other curse words. This is not a response to @Beckdawrek but just an aside to the notion of curse words. Apparently, there are two categories - polite curse words and impolite curse words. People say “dang”, “shoot” or “fudge” but those words are the same in meaning and intent as “damn”, “shit” or “fuck”. So what makes them polite to say and the others not? It’s always annoyed the fudge out of me. Oh, wait, we’re in the pit. It’s always annoyed the fuck out of me. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/128 "2025-06-28T02:12:38Z")
> [@aurora\_maire](#): > > So what makes them polite to say and the others not? It’s always annoyed the fudge out of me. Oh, wait, we’re in the pit. It’s always annoyed the fuck out of me. Some are vulgar, others are not. They are vulgar because vulgarity is useful. Vulgar words carry extra weight. They have greater emphasis. They have a power to them. That power has a couple of uses. Sometimes, by saying them, it helps release tension. If you drop something on your foot and it really hurts, and you yell, “FUCK!”, you feel better. It’s a psychological thing for people. The other use is that the extra power of the words can help convey meaning. Calling someone a “darned goofball” can be seen as maybe slightly annoyed, even endearing. Calling someone a “fucking shithead” helps convey how much rage you have. It’s an important facet of language. There are some reasons why you don’t want to use that language in polite company. People might be disturbed by that language. It makes people uncomfortable. It’s _supposed_ to make people uncomfortable, the way an airhorn or a siren is meant to make people uncomfortable. It’s not because people are being exposed to language they’ve never heard before, but because they don’t want to get involved in your drama, and you’re forcing it on people. And using that language in a casual manner is jarring. You also don’t want to do this around children if you can help it. Yes, kids will almost surely hear it _somewhere_, but the more often they hear it, and the more situations they see it in, they will get the mistaken impression that it’s okay to use that language casually. Children do not have the maturity and experience to know when it is proper and when it isn’t proper. So you absolutely don’t want to do it where kids might hear. These are practical reasons why moderating that kind of language is important. Of course, none of that applies in the fucking BBQ Pit. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/129 "2025-06-28T03:18:19Z")
I have friends who are linguists who didn’t want their children to curse in public, but knew that curse words are important to people. So they made up a couple of nonsense words, and told their kids not to say them. Those because the children’s first line of curse words. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/130 "2025-06-28T04:08:18Z")
When Sophia became interested in cursing, we told her the worst curse word in the English language began with the letter Z. That child soon became the foremost expert in all words beginning with Z, lol. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/131 "2025-06-28T04:47:46Z")
My Daddy could curse in 3 languages and a couple made up languages. We heard them all on occasions. He taught my kids a few of the more esoteric ones. He beat it in their heads(and ours) the english ones. He said it was so we’d realize when we were being cursed. And could take proper action. Of course we would never ever use them in his presence. And never cursed a sibling. Especially me. I was THE tattletale of all tattletales. I’m sure they all felt like cursing me. Many times. ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/132 "2025-06-28T17:37:14Z")
I really don’t know what I would do if Hubster _ever_ called me that. Disrespectful doesn’t even scratch the surface of how wrong that is. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/133 "2025-06-28T17:56:43Z")
> [@aurora\_maire](#): > > So what makes them polite to say and the others not? It’s always annoyed the fudge out of me. Oh, wait, we’re in the pit. It’s always annoyed the fuck out of me. I mean, there are a lot of word pairs like that, and not just restricted to “polite curse words”. Saying that someone is black, for instance, isn’t a curse at all, just a statement of fact… but there are other wordings that, although they carry the exact same denotative meaning, have connotations ranging from antiquated to horribly offensive. Or, to bring it back to the topic of this thread, there are words that some people use as a synonym for “woman” that are utterly offensive, even though “woman” isn’t at all pejorative. As an aside, I’m one of about five people left on the planet who draw a distinction between cursing, swearing, obscenities, and profanities. And I think the other four are probably all Dopers, too. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/134 "2025-06-28T18:05:11Z")
Back during the Norman Conquest, it became socially acceptable to say, for instance, defecate, but you couldn’t say shit in “polite” society. Very much a class thing. I can remember as a kid hearing people refer to swear words are “Anglo-Saxonisms.” That’s a lot of staying power! ---
**Author:** ![JoePockets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8dc957/32.png) [@JoePockets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoePockets)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/135 "2025-06-28T18:13:50Z")
Hearing the spoken word “Skank “ certainly garners attention! I wonder who and where it was first administered !….Id like to see that video on YouTube! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/136 "2025-06-28T18:17:01Z")
I bet it was teen girls who said it first. And, it’s not “dated”. It’s used frequently by young people. Go to a highscool ballgame and listen. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/137 "2025-06-28T18:22:19Z")
> [@carrps](#): > > Back during the Norman Conquest, it became socially acceptable to say, for instance, defecate, but you couldn’t say shit in “polite” society. Very much a class thing. I can remember as a kid hearing people refer to swear words are “Anglo-Saxonisms.” That’s a lot of staying power! Which makes it especially ironic when people say “Pardon my French”. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/138 "2025-06-28T18:22:40Z")
“Internalized misogyny” is very much misapplied in many cases, but still valid in others. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/139 "2025-06-28T18:23:59Z")
Nobody said it was dated so far as I can tell, just that it feels dated. I guess it’s either come back around or faded from the company we keep. To me it feels quite 80s/90s. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162/140 "2025-06-28T19:23:09Z")
Same difference. I was saying it’s a very common _term_. Now. Go watch some YouTube. Go listen to live young people. Wherever it came from, its now an ugly word to call a woman. Not quite as bad as C\_\_t. But still ugly, with ugly conotations. I doubt we can stop the bleeding. Language is difficult to police(and should be that way). I just think if taught in the home, kids should be steered to the dictionary to find words that say what they mean to say, without the hurtful name calling. No one’s perfect. Sometimes you bang your toe on the table leg. And %@#@!! comes out. I get it. I’ve done it. I’ll tell you what I’ve never done, is go in public and scream nasty words and call filthy names to someone. Ever. I’ve heard lots of it. It’s just normal, I guess to call the clerk or your server a perjorative. I find it off putting. Just how I am. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogynistic-language-and-its-defenders/1020162.md?page=8)