# Misogyny on board **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [April 13, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617 "2013-04-13T17:03:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/221 "2013-04-15T17:32:19Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I’m not at olives’s level of thoughtfulness, but yeah. I’ve taken breaks because of the misogyny and the racism. I’ve gotten great things from this board, including a husband I adore, and there are a lot of great people here. But there is a contingent that creeps me the fuck out. I will never go to a dopefest because of it. I take breaks because of it. Allow me to add a me too. As well as a “periods of time where I just avoid certain types of threads.” ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/222 "2013-04-15T17:35:28Z")
> [@akennett](#): > > I totally agree. It’s clear that some people are pussies, so we should all live by their pussified world-views! This, too, is a great example of the kind of post that I believe deserves a warning. In a thread about content-free misogyny, akennett posts a misogynistic content-free bit of snark, denigrating me and my wife (and the now four people that have PMed me, heh) by calling us female genitals, metaphorically suggesting that we lack courage or fortitude or some other ill-defined manly quality. Does anyone think akennett’s post makes the board a better place? It seems clear to me that it makes the board a worse place, and should not be tolerated. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/223 "2013-04-15T17:38:21Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Does anyone think akennett’s post makes the board a better place? It seems clear to me that it makes the board a worse place, and should not be tolerated. I don’t think it should be tolerated…but “doesn’t make the board a better place” should not _ever_ be a reason for censorship. That is too wide a net to be casting. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/224 "2013-04-15T17:43:39Z")
So it would be harmful, somehow, to tell **akennett** that his comments are inappropriate and that he should knock it off? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/225 "2013-04-15T17:46:09Z")
> [@akennett](#): > > I totally agree. It’s clear that some people are pussies, so we should all live by their pussified world-views! **akennett** , this isn’t the Pit. Post your opinions in a constructive and somewhat polite manner or don’t bother at all. I’m giving you a warning for being a jerk. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/226 "2013-04-15T17:48:04Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > So it would be harmful, somehow, to tell **akennett** that his comments are inappropriate and that he should knock it off? Not what I said at all, is it? ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/227 "2013-04-15T17:50:17Z")
No, I understand it isn’t what you said. I was just wondering what your thoughts were. ---
**Author:** ![LC\_Strawhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LC\_Strawhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LC_Strawhouse)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/228 "2013-04-15T17:51:32Z")
When it comes to message board quality, I’d rather have one thoughtful female poster than fifty passive-aggressive man-children. Otherwise we might as well be reading the Current Events forum on a fantasy football board. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/229 "2013-04-15T17:56:23Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > No, I understand it isn’t what you said. I was just wondering what your thoughts were. My thoughts are(confirmed by a moderator) that what he posted was inappropriate for any forum but The Pit, but that “doesn’t make the board a better place” just isn’t a good enough reason by itself. Can you imagine what this board would be like if that was an actual rule here? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/230 "2013-04-15T17:59:36Z")
It took use years and several conversations to get it though people’s heads that the “c word” was offensive, as offensive as the other hate words we had decided should not be used around here, not without good reason. We finally did, although I remember banging my head against my desk many times trying to explain while I was told to “calm down.” I don’t think people should be banned or officially warned for misogyny, but I do thin a few well placed “knock it offs, no warning issued” for both misogyny as well as the anti religious sentiment on these boards would make this place a lot more comfortable for a lot of people. Geeks, and the SDMB has more than its proportional share, are currently undergoing an awareness raising about women, “hey they are people with feelings”. I suspect that many on this board have been exposed to the “costumes are not consent” going around cons (which I dislike, I think the message is too narrow and misses the point, as well as having a blame the victim component to it). The world is changing, we can be part of that change, or we can say “boys will be boys.” For the most part, this board doesn’t cater to children. ---
**Author:** ![akennett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee59a6/32.png) [@akennett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akennett)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/231 "2013-04-15T18:03:56Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > but I do thin a few well placed “knock it offs, no warning issued” for both misogyny as well as the anti religious sentiment on these boards would make this place a lot more comfortable for a lot of people. And now we see the expansion of this “right thinking” model. Why should religion be included here? > [@](#): > > For the most part, this board doesn’t cater to children. And yet the first paragraph of your post celebrates the catering to children mentality of a “naughty words” list. Good show. ---
**Author:** ![akennett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee59a6/32.png) [@akennett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akennett)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/232 "2013-04-15T18:06:31Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > This, too, is a great example of the kind of post that I believe deserves a warning. In a thread about content-free misogyny, akennett posts a misogynistic content-free bit of snark, denigrating me and my wife (and the now four people that have PMed me, heh) by calling us female genitals, metaphorically suggesting that we lack courage or fortitude or some other ill-defined manly quality. Or, in non-hysterical language, uses common parlance to deride the idea that we should downgrade the board to cater to the lowest common denominator of oversensitive people. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/233 "2013-04-15T18:08:15Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > For the most part, this board doesn’t cater to children. This in combination of the Teletubby sig at the end of the post regarding skirts is just too damn funny. "One day, in Teletubbie land, it was Tinkie Winkie’s turn to wear the skirt. " Hmm, interesting, looks like you can only see sigs if you are not logged in. Who knew? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/234 "2013-04-15T18:11:56Z")
> [@akennett](#): > > Or, in non-hysterical language, uses common parlance to deride the idea that we should downgrade the board to cater to the lowest common denominator of oversensitive people. What you actually did was insult everyone who disagrees with you. Tone down your language and try making a polite contribution to the thread - or else, like I said, don’t post in this thread at all. Using terms like “hysterical” seems particularly ill-advised. ---
**Author:** ![akennett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee59a6/32.png) [@akennett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akennett)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/235 "2013-04-15T18:18:42Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > What you actually did was insult everyone who disagrees with you. Tone down your language and try making a polite contribution to the thread - or else, like I said, don’t post in this thread at all. Using terms like “hysterical” seems particularly ill-advised. Seriously? Using the phrase “non-hysterical language” is over the top, but the quoted bit of **Left Hand of Dorkness** ’s post is perfectly fine? ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/236 "2013-04-15T18:23:23Z")
Do you really not see the difference between calling people a bunch of pussies and pointing out that calling people pussies for wanting to tamp down misogynist comments is part of the problem? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/237 "2013-04-15T18:26:55Z")
> [@akennett](#): > > Seriously? Using the phrase “non-hysterical language” is over the top, but the quoted bit of **Left Hand of Dorkness** ’s post is perfectly fine? You do understand where the word “hysterical” comes from, right? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/238 "2013-04-15T18:33:14Z")
> [@akennett](#): > > Seriously? Using the phrase “non-hysterical language” is over the top, but the quoted bit of **Left Hand of Dorkness** ’s post is perfectly fine? Maybe I was wrong, but I thought you chose the word “hysterical” deliberately. If not, no harm done, but you should make a note of [its derivation](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hysterical) - it’s a poor choice of words in a discussion of misogyny, and doubly so when you’d just insulted a bunch of people by calling them pussies. And **Left Hand of Dorkness** was commenting on your post. That’s generally allowed, and since I warned you for what you said, I don’t really disagree with his interpretation. This thread is sort of all over the place and I’ve only skimmed the original thread **MeanOldLady** started, but I’ll try to do that and come back to the more general topics here. ---
**Author:** ![hansel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6bbea6/32.png) [@hansel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hansel)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/239 "2013-04-15T18:51:53Z")
> [@LC\_Strawhouse](#): > > Judging from this thread, this board would have more (and possibly more thoughtful) longtime posters if they hadn’t been chased out by the stubbornly sexist contingent. This. I registered here in 1999, and have been reading more or less continuously since then. I’ve been through phases of being more or less involved, but for the most part I’ve moved over to Metafilter, where the mods and the community are much more active about policing sexism and other bigotries (and their basic mod premise is, like the SDMB, “don’t be a jerk”). Now and then they have monster, board-soul-searching threads about sexism and the boundaries of acceptable speech; for the most part, though, they do a far better job of creating a non-hostile space for everyone to participate. Dopers, you may think you’re participating in a charming rough-and-tumble group outing here. You’re not. You’re just being shitty to some members of the community, who by long experience choose to grit their teeth and stick around because it’s worse elsewhere. > [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](#): > > There’s not a helluva lot we can do about a “pervasive culture.”… I remind y’all that one person’s misogyny is another person’s light banter. Mods, it’s a cop out to err on the side of allowing a degree of bigotry, for fear of inhibiting speech. Other sites are far more vigilant about shutting down bigotry, and easily have better, more varied discussions. Step up and clean up. It’s worth it. You don’t allow wishing death on other posters. Start issuing warnings about obviously sexist speech like telling the women to calm down. There’ll be howls from the MRAs, and eventually they’ll leave. Better to drive them off than the women who get tired of their bullshit. They do it at Metafilter; you can do it here. Marley’s started already. That’s all you have to do. ---
**Author:** ![akennett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee59a6/32.png) [@akennett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akennett)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/240 "2013-04-15T19:02:39Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > You do understand where the word “hysterical” comes from, right? > [@Marley23](#): > > Maybe I was wrong, but I thought you chose the word “hysterical” deliberately. If not, no harm done, but you should make a note of [its derivation](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hysterical) - it’s a poor choice of words in a discussion of misogyny, and doubly so when you’d just insulted a bunch of people by calling them pussies. And **Left Hand of Dorkness** was commenting on your post. That’s generally allowed, and since I warned you for what you said, I don’t really disagree with his interpretation. > > This thread is sort of all over the place and I’ve only skimmed the original thread **MeanOldLady** started, but I’ll try to do that and come back to the more general topics here. Yes, I do know where it comes from, but I also know how the word is used now. That’s just one of the problems with the over-sensitive tone created when we begin to think about running the board the way that LHOD (among others) advocate. So, to that extent, it was chosen intentionally (when, for instance, hyperbolic would be another good choice). But that choice was the point – not to troll, but to show the very problem with the idea that we should moderate against words or phrases because of their perceived meaning or intent. I could just as easily have been ignorant\* of the derivation of the word and only using it in its more modern context. This, I thought was a rather toned-down version of the same decision behind the choice of using the word pussies in the earlier post. You can make all the arguments you want about the supposedly misogynistic meaning of that word, but the fact of the matter is that misogyny is not the driving force behind its use in 90+% of modern instances. (And in fact, I would argue that even if it had misogynistic roots, the continuation of pussies as an insult – much like that of cunt, dick, or even cocksucker – has less to do with misogyny (or misandry/homophobia in the case of dick or cocksucker) and more to do with our schizophrenic and backward cultural mores about sex.) As to the differences in my “hysterical” comment and LHOD’s “misogynistic” ones – I really don’t care that much, and certainly don’t see any reason to mod LHOD in any way. However, I was very careful to parallel the structure (talking about the language used, not the poster) and was even more careful in that I, unlike LHOD, didn’t ascribe to anyone else ill intentions. So yeah, I would still say that to mod the lesser offensive one of those (even just a note w/o warning) and not the other is a bit ridiculous – even if you agree with his. - In fact, I think it was through some display about odd-ball medical devices that I first learned the derivation. It was linked to a bit on the invention of the vibrator to help doctors relieve women of their hysteria. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617.md?page=13)