# Misogyny on board **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [April 13, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617 "2013-04-13T17:03:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 23
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/442 "2013-04-16T20:38:46Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > What the fuck are you even talking about anymore. Struck home, did it? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/443 "2013-04-16T20:38:58Z")
…perhaps we could get back to substantive discussion? At this point, I’m feeling pretty cynical about some of my fellow posters, but actually pretty optimistic about the board’s admin going forward: I think that if folks work to aggressively report misogynistic posts, that might do some good. Maybe it’d also help to discuss those posts here, both to get clarity on what the admin considers acceptable and unacceptable, and also to keep folks aware of the issue. Also, it’s heartening to see I’m not the only one disgusted with some of the stuff that gets posted here and who wants it to go away. I’d still like some clarification of why **Ibanez’s** post appears to have been acceptable, but I understand that such clarification may take time. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/444 "2013-04-16T20:46:09Z")
I’d like somebody to explain what this is all about… > [@Treis, no means no.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/treis-no-means-no/655556/22): > > Finally. A place where I can say what I really think about your idea. > You are a fucking moron. > > You really think, with any legitimacy, that the best way to get men to respect what women say, to begin seeing them as autonomous beings with independent thoughts and desires and sex drives and expectations, is to perpetuate an industry where women are sex objects. What in the actual fuck. The way to get men to see a woman as an equal with whom they can have a relationship and a future is to literally make them not accountable for their sexual urges whatsoever, to perpetuate the myth that a man is a slave to his dick, to perpetuate the myth that a woman’s only value is in her ability to fuck or suck a man off. > > You really think that expanding the accessibility of pussy-for-hire that you will decrease the number of rapes, despite the fact that sex workers are the most victimized demographic in terms of sexual violence in the entire world. So with the increase in access to pussy-for-hire, we discover…MEN WILL JUST RAPE PROSTITUTES. > > You think that guys like the one in **MeanOldLady** ’s story will not view the invitation to call a cab from inside and not in the rain as the magical golden key to the fucking city if only they were able to weigh the relative benefits of a) pressuring a date to engage in sexual contact, given that he can always b) hump on a hooker for a little while. > You. Fucking. Tard. and this.. > [@Treis, no means no.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/treis-no-means-no/655556/444): > > Snipping for length/relevance: > Thankfully we’re in the pit, because I’m free to say this: You are absolutely, without a doubt, 100% a monstrous scumbag. My boyfriend was a virgin until he was 29 and met me, because (as he says) he was “terrible at women.” He was lonely and loveless and insecure and desperate and horny for a _very long time_. But because he’s not a monstrous scumbag, he never once resorted to groping or forcing himself onto a woman without her consent (FTR: he’s a fantastic lover). > > You are a goddamn disgusting human being, I hope you die alone, and I hope you internalize what Frylock said here so you don’t hurt any more women while cluelessly tralala-ing through life: And this where she starts asking me about my mother… > [@Treis, no means no.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/treis-no-means-no/655556/510): > > That is a shame. Because if it’s true that she’s in heaven, I guess it means she already knows everything. All the things you’ve done. > > I wonder, when it rains… can you hear her sobbing? > > Oh, I’ve learned so much about you, **pannacione**. I think we’re gonna be real good friends from here on in. > > Sleep tight. Let’s recap. I said some offensive things but as far as I can tell, it was limited to this: 1. I suggested that legalized prostitution could help men who are sexually frustrated which could reduce assault and rape. Originally, that was in the original MPSIMS thread and was likely uncalled for. I got caught up in the discussion but those things happen. 2. I suggested that women need to be fully responsible for their safety 3. I made a joke in bad taste 4. I admitted that I have been that guy in the past who has crossed some boundaries. Now, at no point did I insult any other poster personally or even reply with snark of my own. I was forthcoming in my ignorance, saying that I have never heard these stories from women in real life. I was earnest in my discussion and willing to listen and learn. Also, I apologized for 1,2,3 and admitted where I was wrong. I provided # 4 to help bring some perspective into the discussion. I don’t know anyones life story here and no one knows mine. These kinds of wild insults are ridiculous. They simply take away from the discussion and are childish. I think you could do away with the whole BBQ forum, or at least add a forum that is “serious” where snark and insults are prohibited. Or, perhaps some people do need to calm down. ---
**Author:** ![hansel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6bbea6/32.png) [@hansel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hansel)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/445 "2013-04-16T20:46:59Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Apparently in order to spare you the effort of figuring out how to use the Ignore function and the scroll wheel. It’s telling that your response to my substantive point was a rehash of tired snark. It’s also telling that, despite very directly disagreeing with me and several others here, you’ve run no risk of being warned or banned for posting stupid racist or sexist crap. It’s almost like prohibiting one doesn’t prohibit the other. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/446 "2013-04-16T20:49:17Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > I’d like somebody to explain what this is all about… Not what the thread is about. Do you mind starting your own thread? ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/447 "2013-04-16T20:50:28Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > I’d like somebody to explain what this is all about… What does that have to do with this thread? ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/448 "2013-04-16T20:55:29Z")
It’s in direct relation to the threads were talking about. I think it’s relevant. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/449 "2013-04-16T20:55:51Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > This. One example for me was [a thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=680782) brought up earlier. I reported comment #5 for its painfully stupid sexist horseshit and (not wanting to flood the moderator notification section) said that posts #4 and #6 were crap too but IMHO to a lesser extent. It’s not only painfully stupid every.single.time but also may very well stop other women who are reading to chime in with answers or ask their own questions, especially when (like we’re told to do!) someone gently complains about it in post #7 and gets told to next time wear undies in the sandbox in post #14. > > Now, a moderator _does_ come into the thread after I reported it and before the sandbox comment and does absolutely nothing about the guys with their stupid LOLBOOOOOOBS jokes and even throws in her lame boobs joke for good measure. I like **Ellen Cherry** , but she dropped the ball and then added to the crap with that one. Only after the sandbox comment does she say anything. It’s rather disappointing to read that thread and discover that **Ellen** showed her disapproval of the sandbox comment by lobbing it right back at the poster. ---
**Author:** ![hansel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6bbea6/32.png) [@hansel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hansel)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/450 "2013-04-16T20:56:16Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > Or, perhaps some people do need to calm down. That’s what this is about. He came back in at this point to repeat Ibanez’s line. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/451 "2013-04-16T21:03:43Z")
> [@hansel](#): > > That’s what this is about. He came back in at this point to repeat Ibanez’s line. How about you don’t make assumptions and actually take my post at face value? ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/452 "2013-04-16T21:05:27Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > It’s in direct relation to the threads were talking about. I think it’s relevant. Sadly, you’re wrong. If you want to start a thread about ridiculous personal insults, removing the BBQ Pit from this message board, or legalized prostitution, you should probably start a thread about these topics. ---
**Author:** ![hansel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6bbea6/32.png) [@hansel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hansel)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/453 "2013-04-16T21:06:08Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > How about you don’t make assumptions and actually take my post at face value? How about we don’t turn this thread into an argument about you? ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/454 "2013-04-16T21:08:56Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > It’s in direct relation to the threads were talking about. I think it’s relevant. I’m beginning to think you have a real problem with not being the center of attention. What happened in that thread, my dear, is you got your ass handed to you in the Pit by multiple posters. Posters who don’t buy the whole “Ohhh, I get it now. Forcing yourself on a woman is bad…” 10 minutes later…“so why is it that women don’t protect themselves from rape very well anyway?”. Which has absolutely nothing to do with the issue of moderating misogyny on the board. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/455 "2013-04-16T21:12:17Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > …perhaps we could get back to substantive discussion? Here’s hoping. > [@](#): > > I’d still like some clarification of why **Ibanez’s** post appears to have been acceptable, but I understand that such clarification may take time. **twickster** said upthread that she wished she’d had time to mod the thread more closely, and perhaps that suggests she feels it’s not appropriate. His behavior in that part of the thread doesn’t look OK to me. [Modding] > [@panaccione](#): > > I’d like somebody to explain what this is all about… It’s a Pit thread. Ask there. > [@](#): > > Or, perhaps some people do need to calm down. Are you trying to piss more people off? I don’t think we need that. > [@panaccione](#): > > It’s in direct relation to the threads were talking about. I think it’s relevant. You’re wrong. It isn’t. If you have questions for the posters who went after you in the Pit, you can ask them in the Pit. If you think they broke a rule, you can start a new ATMB thread. Otherwise, the other posters are right: this is really not the place to discuss everyone’s opinion of you, so let it go. (That goes for the posters responding to **panaccione** as well.) [/Modding] ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/456 "2013-04-16T21:17:44Z")
This is all coming directly from those threads. Sorry, I have points of my own to make. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/457 "2013-04-16T21:18:53Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Here’s hoping. > > **twickster** said upthread that she wished she’d had time to mod the thread more closely, and perhaps that suggests she feels it’s not appropriate. His behavior in that part of the thread doesn’t look OK to me. > > [Modding] > > It’s a Pit thread. Ask there. > > Are you trying to piss more people off? I don’t think we need that. > > You’re wrong. It isn’t. If you have questions for the posters who went after you in the Pit, you can ask them in the Pit. If you think they broke a rule, you can start a new ATMB thread. Otherwise, the other posters are right: this is really not the place to discuss everyone’s opinion of you, so let it go. (That goes for the posters responding to **panaccione** as well.) > [/Modding] Right, ill ask them in the pit so they can tell me how much of a piece of shit I am. Sure. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/458 "2013-04-16T21:18:58Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > Sorry, I have points of my own to make. I don’t care. You’re on point of hijacking this thread, and it’s been hard enough to keep it anywhere near the topic. Stop now. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/459 "2013-04-16T21:36:16Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > If not, there’s a solution. And it doesn’t need to be clearly laid out in advance. You’ve got the judgment necessary to say, “Y’know what, racist, you’ve made your stupid racist points already in other threads, and now you’re just crapping up the board. You’re gone.” > > In no way does that make the board a worse place. Instead, it means that we can have a real discussion again about something other than how “scientific” racists are wrong. How far are you willing to go with this? My problem is that because the rules have just kinda happened over the last 13 years, they’re kind of contradictory and half-assed. Sometimes they apply on some subjects/groups, on others, they don’t. Look at the fact that pretty much EVERY religion thread is hijacked by a few people who just post “Dur-religion are teh dumb/evil!” (and, I’ll note that the thoughtful atheists on board don’t seem to appreciate the threadshitting either. This is a few posters, not a blanket condemnation). Granted, people rarely rise to the obvious threadshit in religion threads any more, but regardless, it’s still a clear threadshit. Or, what about the fact that just about every time things get political you get the posters who threadshit about how one party or the other is super-evil so there’s really nothing to discuss. Would you have stuff like that moderated as well? I wouldn’t _unless there’s a blanket prohibition against any of that sort of threadshit_. Either all of it, or nothing. It’s not a “being a jerk” issue–that’s too freakin’ subjective. It’s “is it threadshitting” which is far less so. Someone who responds to a thread about why Asians developed that 12(?) tone musical scale instead of the 8-tone one we use, with “Chinese people aren’t as smart as white people because their brains are the size of walnuts”, yeah, is being racist–and then, under the “being a jerk” rule, the mod has to decide if they posted it to get a rise out of people or if they’re just a racist douchebag or a troll. Under the “threadshitting” rule, it’s clear and obvious threadshitting. Yeah, yeah, it’s still subjective, the mods will still get complaints. But (IMO) this is less subjective and will prompt less complaints. To me, this is a great time to clean up the mess of semi-contradictory rules saying “this class is protected because you’re born into it, but that class _isn’t_ protected unless it is” stuff that’s grown over the years and either allow it all (not my preferred solution) or moderate discussions to stop all obvious name-calling/threadshitting\* outside the Pit. \*and that includes “Blacks are dumber because they’re neanderthals” (or whatever the hell the “theory” is) type racism and the “Breast cancer? You said breasts LOLOL–lemme see your boobies! Pics!” type garbage. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/460 "2013-04-16T21:43:01Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > How far are you willing to go with this? My problem is that because the rules have just kinda happened over the last 13 years, they’re kind of contradictory and half-assed. Sometimes they apply on some subjects/groups, on others, they don’t. > > Look at the fact that pretty much EVERY religion thread is hijacked by a few people who just post “Dur-religion are teh dumb/evil!” (and, I’ll note that the thoughtful atheists on board don’t seem to appreciate the threadshitting either. This is a few posters, not a blanket condemnation). Granted, people rarely rise to the obvious threadshit in religion threads any more, but regardless, it’s still a clear threadshit. > > Or, what about the fact that just about every time things get political you get the posters who threadshit about how one party or the other is super-evil so there’s really nothing to discuss. > > Would you have stuff like that moderated as well? Yes, I think that would be fantastic, actually. That kind of contentless drone brings the entire tone of the board down and if I never saw another “rethuglicans are blood nazis” or “religionists are all inherently morally corrupt” post on this message board it would be far too soon. I mean, come on. Does anybody find that shit insightful? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/461 "2013-04-16T21:46:17Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Look at the fact that pretty much EVERY religion thread is hijacked by a few people who just post “Dur-religion are teh dumb/evil!” (and, I’ll note that the thoughtful atheists on board don’t seem to appreciate the threadshitting either. This is a few posters, not a blanket condemnation). Granted, people rarely rise to the obvious threadshit in religion threads any more, but regardless, it’s still a clear threadshit. > > Or, what about the fact that just about every time things get political you get the posters who threadshit about how one party or the other is super-evil so there’s really nothing to discuss. > > Would you have stuff like that moderated as well? Yes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617.md?page=22) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617.md?page=24)