# Misogyny on board **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [April 13, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617 "2013-04-13T17:03:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 31
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/602 "2013-04-18T14:02:03Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > I wasn’t addressing anything but the misogynist issue in my post. Perhaps other remarks are being overlooked as well, but I didn’t say anything about it specifically since it’s not at issue in this thread. Bringing up religion was only by way of illustration of how I had been thinking. Thanks for your response. I understand that you were illustrating your thinking with the example of anti-religious posts. My question was, do you think it is possible that you are also overlooking anti-religious posts as you have been overlooking misogynistic posts? Both, as you mention, are offensive to you, yet you are separating your personal feelings from your actions as a mod. That is much to your credit - but in the case of anti-woman posts, you are erring too much on the side of letting them slide. Do you agree that you might be going too far in that direction with anti-religion posts? The reason I mentioned **badchad** is that I think that might be an example of this - bending way over backwards in an effort to overlook his clearly offensive trolling. Because he was stridently anti-religion, and made a particular target of **Polycarp**. I don’t believe you were the mod involved, and eventually he was banned. But he nearly drove away a long-term and valued poster. And I don’t think I need to name names to point out that there is at least one other Doper who, although he does not target individuals, is very much given to posting what can only be described as hate speech aimed at Christians, Republicans, and those who are anti-abortion. If that poster aimed his venom at women, would he not be sanctioned? And for the reasons you mention that misogynistic posts are sanctioned. If the same reasons apply to anti-religious posts, then would it not make sense to treat them as boob jokes are? IYSWIM. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/603 "2013-04-18T14:30:25Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > If the same reasons apply to anti-religious posts, then would it not make sense to treat them as boob jokes are? IYSWIM. Although I don’t see the issue of anti-Christian obnoxiousness as being as troubling as misogyny, for various reasons, I would be thrilled to see the content-free anti-religious or anti-conservative bashing moderated heavily, too. That sort of snide snark is different from the lovely intelligent snarky content that is the signature of the board; we can tolerate the latter without tolerating the former. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/604 "2013-04-18T14:39:10Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Although I don’t see the issue of anti-Christian obnoxiousness as being as troubling as misogyny, for various reasons, I would be thrilled to see the content-free anti-religious or anti-conservative bashing moderated heavily, too. That sort of snide snark is different from the lovely intelligent snarky content that is the signature of the board; we can tolerate the latter without tolerating the former. Agreed. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/605 "2013-04-18T14:39:16Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Although I don’t see the issue of anti-Christian obnoxiousness as being as troubling as misogyny, for various reasons, I would be thrilled to see the content-free anti-religious or anti-conservative bashing moderated heavily, too. That sort of snide snark is different from the lovely intelligent snarky content that is the signature of the board; we can tolerate the latter without tolerating the former. Agreed. The straw that broke the camels back for me was this one, but it could have easily been the disrespectful way we treat the religious. The political one might be a losing battle, the snark is so thick on both sides that i dont know that anyone who wants anything different even bothers to show up in the thread. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/606 "2013-04-18T19:37:02Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > First off, I want to say good luck to you guys. I’ve tried this sort of thing before, and it never works. So I’m not going to try here and mess it up. I am so freaking happy that this thread actually worked! One form of bigotry down! You don’t know how happy this makes me! If I knew it wouldn’t annoy people, this post would be full of smileys! Well, it would if there were a party smiley… As for the current topic: Again, I’ll mostly stay out of it so I don’t ruin it. But since it directly affects me, I’ll offer just a brief comment. Yeah, I would prefer it if attacks against religion were similarly treated. And if I’ve ever said anything that counted as a political attack, I’d gladly give that up. That’s all I’ll say. Good luck, guys! BTW, if you want a response about what I said in the thread earlier, try [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16208038). **TubaDiva** seems to have prohibited that tangent, and I don’t want to mess up the current thread.) ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/607 "2013-04-18T20:08:24Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Can I ask why you are doing this with anti-woman remarks, and not with anti-Catholic/anti-theist remarks? If, as you say, it is possible to go too far toward tolerating one kind of offensive remark, in an effort to be fair-minded, is it not possible to go too far in tolerating offensive remarks aimed at a different group? > > Perhaps it is my perspective, but I see a whole lot more remarks shitting on religious people in threads about religion or abortion or politics or gay marriage or pretty much any thread in which certain posters participate. The short answer is that you choose your views and you live with the consequences of that choice, and that includes unpopularity: it doesn’t mean that equates with being made to feel unwelcome simply for who you are, whether that be female, or black, or homosexual. I know the position of victim and martyr looks an appealing one, but you don’t get to simply declare that my behaviour and opinions are unpopular therefore I must be a protected class too. The even shorter answer is get down off the cross, we need the wood for the fire. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/608 "2013-04-18T20:33:25Z")
> [@Beastly\_Rotter](#): > > The short answer is that you choose your views and you live with the consequences of that choice, and that includes unpopularity: it doesn’t mean that equates with being made to feel unwelcome simply for who you are, whether that be female, or black, or homosexual. …That’s one of the reasons I find anti-religious bigotry less troubling. Nonetheless anti-religious bigotry doesn’t improve the boards (here I’m talking about the snide content-free snark that so often shows up, not the well-articulated and thoughtful snark). If people had to raise their tone, or at least raise the signal to noise ratio, that can only be a good thing. It might furthermore sweeten the change for folks who currently think, for very silly IMO reasons, that moderating misogyny more strictly is PCism run amok. ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/609 "2013-04-18T21:20:25Z")
I think the densely woven fabric of reasoning runs as follows: Vocal women decry ugly bigots. Vocal women are accorded victim status. Therefore: Ugly bigots decry vocal women. Ugly bigots should be accorded victim status too. To start tugging at that annoying dangling thread in the hem of this argument,though, it overlooks the fact that the ugly bigots are usually the ones with all the power who get to make the fucking rules. And shit like this is why I stay out of Great Debates. Egads, Beastly Rotter ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/610 "2013-04-19T00:57:01Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I’ve seen one or two actual instances - there’s the IMHO (later Pit) thread, and there’s the post **Sleeps With Butterflies** mentioned - but not a lot of other examples. Which isn’t to say there are literally zero, but there is simply too much pent up feeling about this for me to believe it’s being reported nearly as often as it’s happening. I’m not trying to blame anybody, but this is not stuff the staff wants to let slide and it’s not stuff I would expect the MPSIMS or IMHO mods to let slide on the whole- not least of all because three of the five mods in those forums are women. I reported a sexist post, and while it wasn’t completely ignored, a female mod e-mailed me about it and the response was “I’m sorry. I found it annoying too … aggravating. Which is why they said it. So sometimes you have to treat them like the five year olds that they are and pretend you didn’t hear it.” :dubious: The quoted policy of ignoring it doesn’t work given that was over a year ago and jerks continue to make the same sort of remarks. ---
**Author:** ![LC\_Strawhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LC\_Strawhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LC_Strawhouse)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/611 "2013-04-19T02:57:20Z")
> [@Beastly\_Rotter](#): > > I think the densely woven fabric of reasoning runs as follows: > > Vocal women decry ugly bigots. > > Vocal women are accorded victim status. > > Therefore: > > Ugly bigots decry vocal women. > > Ugly bigots should be accorded victim status too. > > To start tugging at that annoying dangling thread in the hem of this argument,though, it overlooks the fact that the ugly bigots are usually the ones with all the power who get to make the fucking rules. And shit like this is why I stay out of Great Debates. > > Egads, > Beastly Rotter I don’t think many of the offending posters really are ugly bigots (if they were, it might actually create a teachable moment.) Instead, 99% of the sexist posts are simply an attempt by stressed, insecure males (definitely no “men”) to blow off steam by obsessively poking at women. This includes an endless passive-aggressive harping on sensitive women’s issues under the guise of being interested observers (Todd Akin style). It’s deeply tiresome, contributes nothing (except to drive people away) and should be summarily shut down when it happens. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/612 "2013-04-19T13:42:23Z")
> [@LC\_Strawhouse](#): > > I don’t think many of the offending posters really are ugly bigots (if they were, it might actually create a teachable moment.) > > Instead, 99% of the sexist posts are simply an attempt by stressed, insecure males (definitely no “men”) to blow off steam by obsessively poking at women. This includes an endless passive-aggressive harping on sensitive women’s issues under the guise of being interested observers (Todd Akin style). It’s deeply tiresome, contributes nothing (except to drive people away) and should be summarily shut down when it happens. This, x 1000, although I will nitpick and say since bigotry is ugly, therefore all bigots are ugly, if not in features then in character. I think one of the problems is that there is no recipe-no single set of steps or behaviors to follow that will “guarantee” successful social interaction for either gender. GIVEN THAT, one would think that the answer would be to treat others with civility and respect and to only mock and tease in appropriate situations. I can already hear the rush to define “appropriate”: that’s a no brainer. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, STFU. If a female is posting about a physical or medical problem, it’s inappropriate to go back to junior high level humor (I’ll go farther and say I think it’s always inappropriate to go back to junior high level humor because I don’t find that humor amusing in the slightest. Do you really aspire to be known as having the mentality of a prepubescent? Barring those here who ARE in junior high, of course-they are just fine.) What is really depressing is that there are so very many old children here (and elsewhere)-it’s like they aged, but never grew up. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/613 "2013-04-19T14:09:58Z")
> [@Beastly\_Rotter](#): > > The short answer is that you choose your views and you live with the consequences of that choice, and that includes unpopularity: it doesn’t mean that equates with being made to feel unwelcome simply for who you are, whether that be female, or black, or homosexual. I know the position of victim and martyr looks an appealing one, but you don’t get to simply declare that my behaviour and opinions are unpopular therefore I must be a protected class too. Mindless hate is mindless hate, no matter who it is aimed at. It drags down the boards. YMMV, which is a pity. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/614 "2013-04-19T19:58:28Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > You do realize that all over the world at any given time that is exactly the choice some women are facing: to acquiesce and be raped or be beaten and then be raped? Your comment displays a frankly astounding lack of understanding given just how much actual women have been sharing in this and the related threads about the topic. Hopefully those women wait until someone actually threatens them before giving in. Agreeing to have sex with an asshole because you thought he might at some point consider beating you up isn’t rape. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/615 "2013-04-19T20:09:46Z")
If consent is not freely given, it is not consent. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/616 "2013-04-19T20:10:34Z")
Do we have to have another discussion now about what constitutes a “threat to be raped”. Why am I asking? Of course we will have that discussion now. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/617 "2013-04-19T20:24:31Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Mindless hate is mindless hate, no matter who it is aimed at. It drags down the boards. YMMV, which is a pity. > > Regards, > Shodan Laughing at religion and people who buy that crap is neither “mindless” nor “hate.” I also don’t think it drags down the boards. Taking every opportunity to point out the preposterousness of religion if one of the main reasons for the existence of these boards. Fighting ignorance, and all that jazz. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/618 "2013-04-19T20:28:29Z")
Sorry to interrupt… whatever is going on here, but Ellen Cherry moderated a thread with the discussion here in mind and thought maybe we should discuss it? > [@Sorority girl's warning letter to sisters goes viral - It's epic](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/22): > > > [@Sorority girl's warning letter to sisters goes viral - It's epic](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/2): > > > > This is my favorite line > > I beg to differ, I think that is exactly the way to get them to hang out with you..wink wink, nudge nudge 😉 > > > [@Sorority girl's warning letter to sisters goes viral - It's epic](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sorority-girls-warning-letter-to-sisters-goes-viral-its-epic/656104/3): > > > > Should I \*not \*have a boner after reading that? > > In a thread where a woman’s vitriol (however entertaining) is the subject, I’m thinking overt sexual remarks are out of place. The words “fuck” and “suck” aren’t being used in regards to sex and it seems like these responses are being made because the thread deals with sororities: an all-female group. > > This isn’t a warning, just a reminder that everyone needs to be mindful of off-topic remarks, including those which have at their base a knee-jerk view of women as sex objects. > > Again: NOT a warning. A reminder. I don’t think the point was that the target was a woman, so much as the stereotypes of sororities and fraternities as giant orgy clubs. Both frat boys and girls being generally thought of as sex-crazed maniacs. Happy Lendervedder’s may have been out of line (hard to tell), but I think April’s was okay at least. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/619 "2013-04-19T20:33:00Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Hopefully those women wait until someone actually threatens them before giving in. Agreeing to have sex with an asshole because you thought he might at some point consider beating you up isn’t rape. Should we toss you in a cell with a horny, determined inmate twice your size and strength before we ask whether you’ll fight or hold still and pray he rips your asshole and finishes quickly? ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/620 "2013-04-19T20:34:25Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > If consent is not freely given, it is not consent. Most certainly, and by the same token a threat is not actually a threat unless it is actually made. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/621 "2013-04-19T20:36:23Z")
Please don’t say stupid things. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617.md?page=30) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617.md?page=32)