# Misogyny on board **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [April 13, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617 "2013-04-13T17:03:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/141 "2013-04-15T00:57:33Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Well, I’d like to believe I’m a thoughtful woman, and I’ve definitely taken breaks from this board due to the misogyny. My wife left this board years ago because of its tolerance of misogynists and racists; she now frequents boards in which the banhammer makes short work of such jerks. I find enough value in the other folks around here that I stay, but certainly the racists and misogynists make it a lot less appealing. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/142 "2013-04-15T01:01:15Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Well, I’d like to believe I’m a thoughtful woman, and I’ve definitely taken breaks from this board due to the misogyny. I’m not at olives’s level of thoughtfulness, but yeah. I’ve taken breaks because of the misogyny and the racism. I’ve gotten great things from this board, including a husband I adore, and there are a lot of great people here. But there is a contingent that creeps me the fuck out. I will never go to a dopefest because of it. I take breaks because of it. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/143 "2013-04-15T01:04:09Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > If I’m reading you all right, are you saying that **Ibanez’s** quote in the OP is perhaps odious, but doesn’t warrant a warning because it was in a Pit thread–that if he’d posted it in a different forum, it’d be warnable, but in the Pit it’s allowable? Actually, it was still in IMHO when he posted it. …since the thread is now in the Pit, does that mean that everyone else that got warned for insults in that thread will get them retroactively rescinded? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/144 "2013-04-15T01:05:21Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Actually, it was still in IMHO when he posted it. I think it was originally in MPSIMS. I could be wrong, though. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/145 "2013-04-15T01:30:51Z")
> [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](#): > > However I remind y’all that one person’s misogyny is another person’s light banter. This needs to be on a t-shirt in the imaginary SDMB online store. ---
**Author:** ![splatterpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@splatterpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splatterpunk)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/146 "2013-04-15T01:32:22Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Actually, it was still in IMHO when he posted it. > > …since the thread is now in the Pit, does that mean that everyone else that got warned for insults in that thread will get them retroactively rescinded? Why would they? Moving the thread to the Pit doesn’t magically change the fact that the offending posts were made in a forum where insults are not allowed. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/147 "2013-04-15T01:37:39Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Well, I’d like to believe I’m a thoughtful woman, and I’ve definitely taken breaks from this board due to the misogyny. Sometimes it really is too much. > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > My wife left this board years ago because of its tolerance of misogynists and racists… > [@jsgoddess](#): > > I’m not at olives’s level of thoughtfulness, but yeah. I’ve taken breaks because of the misogyny and the racism. Really? In the past I’ve been completely oblivious to it. Maybe not completely, but Ive written off those who are genuinely misogynistic as people I can safely ignore. And maybe “safely” is an important word here because I never feel endangered, wherever I am. But **jsgoddess** , dopefests are perfectly safe affairs. I was at the most notorious one, one which was discussed both here and on other, less polite, boards, a fest where the threads themselves were disappeared, and none of the women’s complaints were about getting groped or fearing rape. The behavior of other women, yes. My basic loserness, sure, so I’ve been to only one since. ETA: Oh, and my “genuinely misogynistic” referred to men who actually dislike women and state that clearly. **Ibanez** ’s “joke” was a TV trope that some people didn’t get. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/148 "2013-04-15T01:39:45Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > But **jsgoddess** , dopefests are perfectly safe affairs. I was at the most notorious one, one which was discussed both here and on other, less polite, boards, a fest where the threads themselves were disappeared, and none of the women’s complaints were about getting groped or fearing rape. The behavior of other women, yes. My basic loserness, sure. I don’t want to spend time with creeps, and this board attracts them. There are dozens of people on this board I would cross a street to avoid, so why in the world would I deliberately go anywhere near them? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/149 "2013-04-15T01:41:01Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Actually, it was still in IMHO when he posted it. Indeed, which is why I found **Tuba’s** post so remarkable, and why I wanted her to clarify her reasoning. ---
**Author:** ![LC\_Strawhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LC\_Strawhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LC_Strawhouse)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/150 "2013-04-15T01:49:21Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Really? In the past I’ve been completely oblivious to it. Maybe not completely, but Ive written off those who are genuinely misogynistic as people I can safely ignore. And maybe “safely” is an important word here because I never feel endangered, wherever I am. I think the issue is that many women would rightly consider it beneath them to associate with sexist people (how can you blame them?) - regardless of any physical safety issues. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/151 "2013-04-15T02:07:53Z")
> [@LC\_Strawhouse](#): > > I think the issue is that many women would rightly consider it beneath them to associate with sexist people (how can you blame them?) - regardless of any physical safety issues. I did not just mean physically endangered. My feeling of safety carries over from Real Life to the board and I assume that a woman’s caution IRL would also carry over. I just never thought about it before. > [@jsgoddess](#): > > I don’t want to spend time with creeps, and this board attracts them. There are dozens of people on this board I would cross a street to avoid, so why in the world would I deliberately go anywhere near them? Because the creeps don’t usually go to dopefests? Read fest plans and reports in MPSIMS and count the people who you wouldn’t feel comfortable around. Even the occasional oddballs are on their best behavior there and you might find you like a person whose online persona you cannot stand. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/152 "2013-04-15T02:15:16Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Because the creeps don’t usually go to dopefests? Read fest plans and reports in MPSIMS and count the people who you wouldn’t feel comfortable around. Even the occasional oddballs are on their best behavior there and you might find you like a person whose online persona you cannot stand. I respectfully suggest that perhaps you’re just not hearing all of the stories. I’ve talked to a couple of women who had some questionable interactions and there is one woman who was bothered by a man from the boards who kept hitting on her and then attempted to follow her home. The man in question\* is one that is praised regularly here on the boards by many and possibly in your “he’s a good guy” lineup. Consider that your experience is not everyone else’s and perhaps try not to talk someone into attending an event she just told you she never would go to. \*No, I’m not going to name names. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/153 "2013-04-15T02:32:24Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Read fest plans and reports in MPSIMS and count the people who you wouldn’t feel comfortable around. I brought it up to show that some of us are impacted by the sense of entitled creepsterism that infests this board, not because I want to be talked into going to dopefests. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/154 "2013-04-15T02:49:45Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > That said, and said with the admission that I haven’t read the triggering thread to the point where **Ibanez** made that statement, I find it hilarious that this thread exists as some sort of defense of **MeanOldLady** ’s delicate feminine sensitivities. Uh, no, actually. Not to be rude to MOL, but this thread isn’t about her, and I’m not defending her. I started it because the snarky misogyny on this board makes me feel gross when I read it, and because I think it falls under “being a jerk,” and because I want the board admins to reconsider their soft position on this sort of behavior. (And no, I’m not calling for silencing everyone who expresses a genuinely held misogynistic position: I’m calling for warning people off of treating other posters contemptuously based on their gender or with the use of misogynist insults). > [@jsgoddess](#): > > I brought it up to show that some of us are impacted by the sense of entitled creepsterism that infests this board, not because I want to be talked into going to dopefests. Part of my privilege, of course, is that the entitled creepsterism isn’t gonna hit me as hard as it’s gonna hit people who’ve been subjected to it a lot more IRL. But plenty of guys here think it’s disgusting as well, and guys who object to it aren’t white knighting or any such, we’re just sick of it. [edit: quoting you to elaborate for dropzone, not to disagree with you] ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/155 "2013-04-15T02:50:02Z")
> [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](#): > > However I remind y’all that one person’s misogyny is another person’s light banter. Wow. Okay, then. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/156 "2013-04-15T02:51:22Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > I respectfully suggest that perhaps you’re just not hearing all of the stories. I’ve talked to a couple of women who had some questionable interactions and there is one woman who was bothered by a man from the boards who kept hitting on her and then attempted to follow her home. The man in question\* is one that is praised regularly here on the boards by many and possibly in your “he’s a good guy” lineup. > > Consider that your experience is not everyone else’s and perhaps try not to talk someone into attending an event she just told you she never would go to. > > \*No, I’m not going to name names. Im calling BS; not that these things dont happen, but if you are going to make specific allegations in a specific thread accusing an anon Doper..then name him. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/157 "2013-04-15T02:55:58Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Im calling BS; not that these things dont happen, but if you are going to make specific allegations in a specific thread accusing an anon Doper..then name him. Your call of bullshit has been acknowledged and summarily tossed out. I honestly do not care what you believe I should or shouldn’t do. I am not the woman in question so I am not going to share the specifics of her story to anyone to satisfy some font on a page (you) for whatever reason you want me to. If that means you don’t believe me I honestly could not care a bit less. I’m glad we had this talk. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/158 "2013-04-15T03:01:23Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Your call of bullshit has been acknowledged and summarily tossed out. I honestly do not care what you believe I should or shouldn’t do. I am not the woman in question so I am not going to share the specifics of her story to anyone to satisfy some font on a page (you) for whatever reason you want me to. If that means you don’t believe me I honestly could not care a bit less. I’m glad we had this talk. Since we dont do lynch mobs anymore. either present more evidence or let it go. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/159 "2013-04-15T03:03:00Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Since we dont do lynch mobs anymore. either present more evidence or let it go. She seems to be letting it go just fine. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617/160 "2013-04-15T03:03:04Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Your call of bullshit has been acknowledged and summarily tossed out. I honestly do not care what you believe I should or shouldn’t do. I am not the woman in question so I am not going to share the specifics of her story to anyone to satisfy some font on a page (you) for whatever reason you want me to. If that means you don’t believe me I honestly could not care a bit less. I’m glad we had this talk. Im calling BS; not that these things dont happen, but I can’t say that I believe you’re really glad you had that talk. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misogyny-on-board/655617.md?page=9)