# Mispronounced Words

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mispronounced-words/9919>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [October 20, 1999, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mispronounced-words/9919 "1999-10-20T14:36:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\
**Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mispronounced-words/9919/81 "1999-10-27T05:06:00Z")

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In response to my:

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> Doctor Dear, are you in the market for a slightly-used 30-year-old nymphomaniac?

The Doc said,

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> Everybody thinks they can diagnose themselves. Let me render the medical decisions here, please. If you are correct, your didease is incurable. I think, however, I could provide a sample pack of something to help ease the symptoms.

(In my best 900-number voice)

_Oooh, Doctor… would this require an office consultation?_

I’m being a vewy, vewy bad girl today.

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**Author:** ![Boris\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@Boris\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boris_B)\
**Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mispronounced-words/9919/82 "1999-10-27T05:16:00Z")

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What, ya mean Monsanto doesn’t rhyme with Toronto? My apologies to all the Monsantans.

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**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\
**Post date:** [October 26, 1999, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mispronounced-words/9919/83 "1999-10-26T18:20:00Z")

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Christiana sez of a street in NY:

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> Its HOUSE-ton not hues-ton as in Houston, Texas. Tourists drive me nuts with that one…

The soon-to-be-reborn omninot opines:

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> Christiana: You’ll have to admit it’s a bit understandable, though.

Not here it ain’t. Georgia has a county named Houston. It’s pronounced “HOUSE ton” here as well. It’s just those damned Texans who can’t talk right. 😉

The lovely Canthearya coos:

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> Oooh, Doctor… would this require an office consultation?

::trying to sound professional while under extreme pressure::  
That won’t be necessary, ma’am. This treatment is most commonly administered while the patient is bed-ridden.

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The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik

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