# Misread signs, labels, etc. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 11, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233 "2004-11-11T17:53:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/1 "2004-11-11T17:53:28Z")
I passed a row of flavored bottled water in a convenience store today. It’s called “Infused Water” but for a split second I thought I read “Confused Water”… …Which reminded me of another time I was on a bus, and I wasn’t wearing my glasses. We passed a shop called “Mike’s Tool and Die”, but I was positive that it said “Mike Should Die”. I had to do a double take. Then, about a month ago I was at the dentist (again sans glasses), sitting in the examining room chair. On the wall facing me was a magazine rack. There was a Maclean’s issue sitting there with the large title, “Is Canada Ready for Loudmouth” with a photo of a yelling guy under it. I thought, “Gee, I bet that guy doesn’t appreciate being called that too much”…and then I saw the word “TV” underneath. Is Canada Ready for Loudmouth TV. Duh me. What are some things you’ve misread? ---
**Author:** ![Rock\_n\_Roach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Rock\_n\_Roach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock_n_Roach)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/2 "2004-11-11T18:27:02Z")
A post here in MPSIMS. I originally read it as: Mouse in Sweden are called Elk. And that was with my glasses. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/3 "2004-11-11T18:44:38Z")
I once almost ran off the road because there was a big vinyl banner in front of a church out in the country here that said something like “… and with his stripes are we healed” and I was entirely sure it had said “strippers” instead of “stripes”. ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/4 "2004-11-11T19:32:02Z")
At work, we have one of those huge Kodak printer/copier/fax MULTI-function machines. I had to call in a problems for it, and was reading all the serial numbers, etc., off the little sheet we keep handy for that kind of thing, and as I was rattling off all the details, proceeded to read it as MAL-function. ---
**Author:** ![ShadiRoxan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@ShadiRoxan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShadiRoxan)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/5 "2004-11-11T19:55:10Z")
There’s a sign in downtown Saratoga Springs that says ATM with a finger pointing in the direction of the ATM and a triangle at the end. I always read it as EAT ME. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/6 "2004-11-11T20:28:44Z")
I was playing some RPG when the character said “In the time of the Gods, when Helm marched before the mortals”. I could have sworn it said, “In the time of the Gods, when Helm marched before the _nostrils_.” I was imagining giant nostrils, parading in front of Helm. And yes, I was wearing my contacts as well. ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/7 "2004-11-11T22:19:17Z")
I was in the baking-supplies aisle of a grocery store helping a friend with her shopping, and saw some boxes labeled: ```auto Raga Muffins ``` I stood there for a couple of minutes gazing at them in utter bafflement, wondering what on _earth_ cornbread mix had to do with Indian music. My friend eventually clued me in that you were supposed to read it as a single word, and pointed out the Raggedy-Ann type of image the company used in its branding. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/8 "2004-11-11T23:18:00Z")
There was a place called “flick palace” that I used to drive by sometimes. The font made the “l” in flick a bit short with a little curve at the bottom and from far away I swear to god it looked just like “fuck palace.” I always wanted to go in there…🙂 ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/9 "2004-11-11T23:29:07Z")
I used to live near a bank that had a large, illuminated sign that said “24-hour banking.” During the entire time I lived there, the right side of the first “n” was burned out, so at night it looked like “24-hour barking.” ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/10 "2004-11-12T00:23:17Z")
“Loosest Progressive Sluts” Well, it was nevada, and I knew that prostitution was legal in many areas there, but I couldn’t figure out what a progressive slut was, nor why one would want the loosest progressive ones… After mrAru stopped laughing, he gently explained I was VERY tired and it was slOts not slUts…and loose slot machines mean they pay out prizes faster :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/11 "2004-11-12T00:56:47Z")
One of the stickies in Great Debates says “Pleaae use descriptive titles” which I read as “please use deceptive titles” the first time I saw it. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/12 "2004-11-12T02:47:07Z")
Our hospital cafeteria started a soup bar. Above it is a big sign saying “Today’s sinners”. It’s in a weird font that makes the “m” look like an “n”. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/13 "2004-11-12T03:06:41Z")
I thought that a sign in front of a garden center read _Fireseed Birdwood_ I spent a couple of seconds wondering what you could grow with Fireseed and what Birdwood was until I realized it actually said _Firewood Bird seed_ I liked it better the other way. My all time favourite, though, was a sign on the inside of a restroom door that said _Please check your personalities before leaving_ No, really! Oh, ok. It really said “Please check your personal items before leaving”. Spoilsports. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/14 "2004-11-12T03:29:20Z")
I always read any sign on a truck for _Shopfitters_ as _Shoplifters._ And here in Sydney most large vehicles have a sign that says: _Do not overtake turning vehicle_ which I invariably read as _Do not overtake overturning vehicle,_ which I always thought was sound advice. ---
**Author:** ![START](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@START](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/START)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/15 "2004-11-12T06:39:36Z")
You know those Markers that kids like where if you color the whole page one color and then draw over it with a different marker the color goes away. They are called “Magic Pens” and they sell them at the mall and I thought it said Magic Penis. This one might not count because whoever makes this obviously wants you to misread it. A sign in the mall says FCUK. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/16 "2004-11-12T09:32:31Z")
“Disable similies in text” WTF? Oh, **smilies**! ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/17 "2004-11-12T17:14:37Z")
The last time my parents and I visited my grandmother,Dad asked her to think about where we could take her for dinner the night we got there. She mentioned this great new restaurant she hadn’t been to yet called “Shoney’s” She thought it was a little expensive according to her neighbors but very good. We were willing to eat anywhere it suited her, but were suprised that she was so enthusiastic about a chain restaurant of a type we would not have planned to take her to. (We also were a little disappointed- we’d have preferred arrangments to eat seafood, she lives in Maryland by the shore). When we got there, we picked her up and drove to the restaurant. The name on the sign was “Stoney’s”. It is a seafood restaurant, with a few stores, but not a big chain like Shoney’s. Everyone was happy. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/18 "2004-11-12T17:21:00Z")
There was a barbershop in E Lansing that had a very large sign painted on the side of a nearby building that simply had the name of the shop-- “Public Hair” ---
**Author:** ![dcordell1960](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d2c977/32.png) [@dcordell1960](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dcordell1960)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/19 "2004-11-12T18:38:38Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > What are some things you’ve misread? The best one of mine was years ago, but I cannot forget it. My wife and I were coming home from a vacation driving through Wisconsin. The billboard at the side of the road read ‘Erotic dancers’ and live music. I made a comment that it might be nice to go and see the erotic dancers. My wife said ‘It doesn’t say that’. I looked again and the sign changed to ‘Exotic dancers’. I said 'Oh, I guess exotic dancers is at least a little better to put on a billboard. By this time we had passed the billboard and my wife again ‘That is not what it says!’. So I turn around drive back up the highway turn around again. Now it says ‘ **Exotic Dinners** ’. It was a billboard for supper club. I laughed then and I still laugh about it. ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233/20 "2004-11-12T18:58:44Z")
I recently saw a removals truck. Painted on the back was a long spiel saying how they were fully insured , been established for 30 years etc. It also said _uniformed staff_ . I misread that as _uninformed staff_ :smack: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/misread-signs-labels-etc/274233.md?page=2)