# Miss Suzy Had A Steamboat **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 17, 1999, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222 "1999-11-17T05:12:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/1 "1999-11-17T05:12:00Z")
Here’s a song I remember from my childhood. How do you remember it? Where did it come from? Miss Suzy had a steamboat, The steamboat had a bell, When Suzy went to heaven, The steamboat went to - Hello operator, Please give me number 9, And if you disconnect me, I’ll kick you in - Behind the yellow curtain There was a piece of glass, Miss Suzy sat upon it, And hurt her big fat - Ask me no more questions, I’ll tell you no more lies, The boys are in the bathroom Doing up their - Flies are in the city, The bees are in the park, The boys and girls are having fun And necking in the dark-dark-dark! Alternate version (different tune): Three Irishmen, three Irishmen Were digging in a ditch One called the other A dirty son of a - Beehive corn syrup Five cents a glass If you don’t like it Shove it up your - Ask me no questions I’ll tell you no lies, If you get hit with a bucket of shit Be sure to close your eyes! ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/2 "1999-11-17T05:24:00Z")
Sounds like one of a dozen or so semi-vulgar tunes that we 5th & 6th grade boys would sing on the schoolbus back in the late 70’s. Here’s another classic: “Got a skeeter on my peter, whack it off!” Lord only knows where these things get started. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/3 "1999-11-17T05:26:00Z")
Did you do a clapping game along with it? The version we used was similar to the first. Lulu had a steamboat, Her steamboat had a bell, When Lulu went to Heaven, That steamboat went to… Hello operator, Please give me number nine, And if you disconnect me, I’ll kick you right… Behind the yellow curtain, There was a peice of Glass, When Lulu sat upon it, She drove it up her… Ask me no more questions, I’ll tell you no more lies, And that’s the end of Lulu, And Steamboat #9! * * * ‘They couldn’t hit an Elephant from this dist…!’ Last words of General John Sedgwick ---
**Author:** ![Zulu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a9adbd/32.png) [@Zulu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zulu)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/4 "1999-11-17T05:50:00Z")
Very similar to the first one, I learned it as: Miss Molly had a steamboat, The steamboat had a bell, When Molly went to heaven, The steamboat went to - Hello operator, Give me number 9, And if you disconnect me, I’ll kick your big - Behind the old piano, There was a piece of glass, Miss Molly sat upon it, And hurt her little - Ask me no more questions, I’ll tell you no more lies, The boys are in the bathroom Doing up their - Flies are in the city, The bees are in the park, Miss Molly and her boyfriend Are kissing in the d-a-r-k, d-a-r-k, Dark, dark, dark! I actually didn’t hear that version until grade 8, when I met a girl who went to a different elementary school. The version from my elementary school ended with: Behind the old piano, [or sometimes ‘iron curtain’] There was a piece of glass, Miss Molly sat upon it, And hurt her little - Ask me for a muffin, I’ll give you some dry bread, And if you do not like it You can go and soak your head. No idea where it comes from, though. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/5 "1999-11-17T06:06:00Z")
Somebody did a PhD dissertation (of course) on these childhood rhyming things. I remember it much like Matt told it, but my seven year old daughter sings it (with the same clapping game) with a verse about plastic surgery I think. When she’s up I’ll get her version and post it here. Interestingly, in other English speaking countries you hear the same songs with slightly different versions too. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/6 "1999-11-17T07:45:00Z")
I heard this one this way: Two Irishmen Two Irishmen Were digging in a ditch. One called the other one A dirty son of a… Peter Murphy had a dog, A very fine dog was he. He gave it to a lady friend To keep her company. She taught it, she taught it, She taught it how to jump. It jumped right up her panty hose And bit her on the… Country boy from Illinois Was sitting on a rock, Along came a bumblebee and Stung him on the… Cocktails, gingerale, Five cents a glass. And if you don’t believe me, Shove it up your… Ask me no more questions, I’ll tell you no more lies. And if you get hit with A bucket of shit, Be sure to close your eyes! * * * The déjà just keeps on vu-ing. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/7 "1999-11-17T12:38:00Z")
My version was about “Miss Lucy” and the glass was behind the refrigerator. Oh, and her “ask” was little, not big and fat. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/8 "1999-11-17T13:14:00Z")
Mine was the same as Lisa’s, but in addition, the boys are in the bathroom, making chocolate pies and lemonaaaaaaaade . . . And then there was bo bo skee watten tatten eh eh eh eh boom boom boom itty bitty watten tatten bo bo skee watten tatten bo bo skee watten tatten boom! And I remember something about a rhyme where Miss Suzy had a baby, put him in the tub, the baby drank the water and ate the bathtub, whereupon, Miss Suzy called the doctor. Anyone remember that? * * * Will work for sig line. ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/9 "1999-11-17T13:37:00Z")
My version was similar to Lisa’s but it was still Miss Susie. And the last verse went as follows: The cows are in the meadows Eating chocolate pies. There is a new flavor Cherry coconut And if you do not like it I’ll shove it up your… Butt. MOM! I am not sure of the question here, but it has many earlier variations like many folk songs. The really strange thing about children’s dirty folk songs, is that children keep it alive passing it down to eachother rather than being taught to them by their parents or music teachers. I remember the Bo bo skee watten totten (sp?). There were many others. Tracing the history of folk songs is oftentimes interesting. I play a lot of folk songs (around 200) and as you go around, the words and melodies aren’t always exactly the same, nor are the chords. They are all recognizable as the same song though. I could talk about this all day, but I would rather address Matt’s specific question, if he has one. HUGS! Sqrl * * * Gasoline: As an accompaniement to cereal it made a refreshing change. Glen Baxter ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/10 "1999-11-17T14:16:00Z")
I Never heard this til my husband mentioned it,and then they did it on Rosanne(at the end credits) ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/11 "1999-11-17T16:32:00Z")
The version I learned was basically the same as Matt’s, but it had two more verses: … Dark is like a movie, A movie’s like a show, A show is like a program, And this is what I know, I know my mother I know, I know my pa, I know, I know my sister With the eight-DD bra. Oh, the memories… ---
**Author:** ![dfahs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@dfahs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dfahs)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 1999, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/12 "1999-11-18T06:13:00Z")
> [@](#): > > And I remember something about a rhyme where Miss Suzy had a baby, put him in the tub, the baby drank the water and ate the bathtub, whereupon, Miss Suzy called the doctor. Anyone remember that? Miss Suzy had a baby. She named him Tiny Tim. She put him in the bathtub To see if he could swim. He drank up all the water. He ate up all the soap. He tried to eat the bathtub, But it wouldn’t go down his throat. Miss Suzy called the doctor. The doctor called the nurse. The nurse called the lady With the alligator purse. “Mumps,” said the doctor. “Measles,” said the nurse. “Nothing,” said the lady With the alligator purse. ---
**Author:** ![dfahs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@dfahs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dfahs)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 1999, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/13 "1999-11-18T06:17:00Z")
Oops. Remembered one more verse. I’m not sure I’m remembering the exact money amounts. Does anybody know if there was some actual treatment between the previous verse I gave and this one? A dollar for the doctor. A nickel for the nurse. Nothing for the lady With the alligator purse. ---
**Author:** ![Nickrz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@Nickrz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nickrz)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 1999, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/14 "1999-11-18T06:26:00Z")
You kids go play in MPSIMS. AND STOP HITTING YOUR SISTER!! ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/15 "1999-11-17T19:29:00Z")
This is interesting. The version I learned was almost exactly like Zulu’s, with the addition of Fretful Porcupine’s verses, except that the first verse went like this: Miss Suzy had a stinkbug The stinkbug had a smell Miss Suzy went to heaven The stinkbug went to- Hello, operator… * * * “That’s entertainment!” —Vlad the Impaler ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/16 "1999-11-17T19:56:00Z")
My poor misspent childhood… I had to learn this rhyme from “Kate and Ally,” and it went something like: Mary had a steamboat, The steamboat had a bell, Mary went to heaven, And the steamboat when to… Hello operator, give me number 9, if you don’t give it to me, I’ll kick you in the… Behind the refridgerator There is a piece of glass Mary sat upon it And cut her little… Ask me no more questions I’ll tell you no more lies Boys are in the restroom Zipping up their… Flies are in the honey, Bees are in the park, Boys and girls are kissing in the d-a-r-k dark! A friend did tell me something that ended with the “If you get hit with a bucket of shit” line, but I can’t remember the rest. * * * “I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy [The Kat House](http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/home.htm) [Join the FSH Webring](http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/fshwebring.htm) ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 1999, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/17 "1999-11-17T21:38:00Z")
It just occurred to me that the tune for this song is pretty similar, if not identical, to “The Merry Go Round Broke Down,” popularly known as the theme from “Looney Tunes” and “Merry Melodies.” In fact, in an early Daffy Duck, he sings this little ditty to that tune: My name is Daffy Duck, some people say I’m goony, But just because I’m daffy doesn’t mean I’m looney-toony Oh you can’t bounce a meatball, try with all your might Turn up the radio I want to fly a kite . . . there is another verse ending in, “Please pass the ketchup, I think it’s going to rain,” but I can’t recall the first two lines. * * * “Come on, Phonics Monkey–drum!” ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 1999, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/18 "1999-11-18T04:25:00Z")
I learned it as a child (not from Kate & Ally) as “Behind the refrigerator” also. –end valuable thread contribution * * * – O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![Pixoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Pixoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixoid)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 1999, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/19 "1999-11-18T07:02:00Z")
Phouka said: > [@](#): > > bo bo skee watten tatten > eh eh eh eh boom boom boom > itty bitty watten tatten > bo bo skee watten tatten > bo bo skee watten tatten > boom! We played this one, too, and it was the most complex of all of the playground hand games. There were crossovers, eyes closed, repetitions, and all sorts of other things. If you could do this one, you were sooo cool… As for Miss Suzy, she had a steamboat, the glass was behind the 'fridgerator, and she _broke_ her “ask”. ---
**Author:** ![meredith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@meredith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meredith)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 1999, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222/20 "1999-11-18T08:29:00Z")
Nope, she got a bloody “ask”. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/miss-suzy-had-a-steamboat/11222.md?page=2)