# Missing Coworker, Part II **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 18, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741 "2003-06-18T17:16:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/281 "2003-06-26T11:08:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by carnivorousplant \* > \*\*Sometimes I wish I could. Screw the guy who leaves his office next door with Country and Western blaring on the radio; a fig to those ladies screaming and laughing about their familes at 7:00 AM; fie to those who don’t put paper in their printer, and just _go_. > 🙂 \*\* You know, I originally read that as “Sometimes I wish I could screw the guy who leaves his office next door…” ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/282 "2003-06-26T14:11:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cajun Man \* > \*\*I’m going to edit your thread title, **auntie em**. I’ve also closed your original thread with a link to this one. > > * * * > > **Cajun Man** ~ SDMB Moderator \*\* I came in late. ☹ What was the shocking title of the original part II thread? ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/283 "2003-06-26T15:08:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BMalion \* > \*\*I came in late. ☹ What was the shocking title of the original part II thread? \*\* \ I solemlly vow to never again post without reading the _entire_ thread \ ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/284 "2003-06-26T15:11:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BMalion \* > \*\*I came in late. ☹ What was the shocking title of the original part II thread? \*\* “ **Cajun Man** is a Poo-Poo Head!” It was very disturbing as you can imagine. As we all know, **Cajun Man** doesn’t poop. Genomic anomaly, that man. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/285 "2003-06-26T15:37:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkipMagic \* > \*\*You know, I originally read that as “Sometimes I wish I could screw the guy who leaves his office next door…” \*\* Aw, Mongo straight! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/286 "2003-06-26T16:21:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MonkeyMule \* > \*\*Maybe she’s selling her _stuff_. It’s legal in vegas you know 😉 \*\* If you’re meaning selling, hmmm, professional services, no, it’s not legal in Las Vegas. Allowing such is by local option and none of the counties in Nevada with an appreciable population (Clark, Washoe, Carson City) opted to do so. All of the places you’ve heard of, Mustang Ranch, Cottontail Ranch, are ‘just over the border’ in the neighboring county. This is not to say you can’t find working ladies in Las Vegas, but they’re no more legal there than they are in any big city. DD ---
**Author:** ![flairgun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7c8e57/32.png) [@flairgun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flairgun)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/287 "2003-06-26T17:39:17Z")
It’s now 18:42 here, and I’ve just stayed at work for an extra hour so’s I can read the entire two threads having just found it on threadspotting. Better than the last Stephen King. Still needs an epilogue though… ---
**Author:** ![Nanny\_Ogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a87d85/32.png) [@Nanny\_Ogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanny_Ogg)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/288 "2003-06-26T17:42:41Z")
This just ended… I’m not ready for that… a little more pathos please. I’ve had the whole “Harper Valley PTA” theme song in my head accompanying the last 4 pages. ---
**Author:** ![purgepro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e68b1a/32.png) [@purgepro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purgepro)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/289 "2003-06-26T20:10:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\*Is there some reason why **auntie em & SkipMagic** couldn’t kidnap and murder this woman to give this thread a proper ending? > > Aside from the moral and legal issues I mean. \*\* It seems like there may still be time for a “proper ending” if CW hasn’t come back to town. All kinds of stuff could happen. hmm, another thread, perhaps: “when missing coworker comes back to town”? over 2 hours in the reading of both threads. Thanks to Auntie Em and SkipMagic and the cast of thousands. Has anyone sent this to Quentin Tarantino? ---
**Author:** ![Doubting\_Robert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e495f1/32.png) [@Doubting\_Robert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doubting_Robert)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/290 "2003-06-26T20:16:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nanny Ogg \* > \*\*This just ended… I’m not ready for that… a little more pathos please. I’ve had the whole “Harper Valley PTA” theme song in my head accompanying the last 4 pages. \*\* Welcome to the SMDB, **Nanny Ogg**! (I’ve wanted to do that for ages.) ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/291 "2003-06-26T21:05:19Z")
Welcome Nanny Ogg. Enjoy your stay. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/292 "2003-06-26T21:14:01Z")
Welcome Nanny DON’T TOUCH MY STUFF ::hiss:: ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/293 "2003-06-26T21:14:01Z")
Welcome Nanny DON’T TOUCH MY SUFF ::hiss:: ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/294 "2003-06-26T21:14:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by flairgun \* > \*\*It’s now 18:42 here, and I’ve just stayed at work for an extra hour so’s I can read the entire two threads having just found it on threadspotting. > > Better than the last Stephen King. > Still needs an epilogue though… \*\* Actually, **flairgun** , you’re not too late to [write the ending yourself](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=192857) . . . ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/295 "2003-06-26T21:18:13Z")
Yeah good Promo their Auntie, I feel that we should promote this more, try and get more submissions! I might even break down and write one. Being half mule as I am, it tends to make me a bit orny (sp?) and the monkey part is just lazy, but don’t say anything to me about it or I’ll fling feces and stuff ============= Please bare with me, I jsut came from an office party and had ONE glass to many to not be giddy =X ---
**Author:** ![KP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a9adbd/32.png) [@KP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KP)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2003, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/296 "2003-06-26T23:04:08Z")
I just stumbled on these threads, and halfway through this Part II thread, **LB** (Luscious Babe) cranked up _ **"Wig in a box"** _ from _ **Hedwig and the Angry Inch** _ (a musical work that’s worth a listen, even if my version isn’t). Now among the curses I’ve never revealed here is a compulsion for involuntary musical parody, so… …for those of you familiar with that song and musical, I hereby submit: **"Head in a box"** On weeks like this I fear somethings gone amiss (“anus”, I mean - My typing’s going bad) I feel down. We’ve been had Aunty’s cow-orker’s clearly mad It’s time someone punched her out. She makes up excuses for all her abuses. She and the boss had some long talks. Sadly, he’s Sir Milquetoast (surrenders like the French) He forgives her - 'til she ends up in a box. - [“Surrenders like the French” happens to be my Indian name. Yuppers - they lost the French and Indian War, too] \* I look back the last couple of weeks Don’t know if I should laugh of shriek Now the strangest things seem suddenly routine Does MC have a head full of rocks? And is that head now in a box Of towering velveteen? I shake my head sadly, and tell myself gladly: She tops all the stuff I’ve done myself. 'Sposedly, she’s now married (God, that’s frightening - With a partner She might reproduce herself!) Some girls think “Hah! Reality? Please! It simply doesn’t meet my needs!” So they dress it up Like poodles in chiffon. They put us on, wear us out Inspire feelings beyond doubt 'n strand us in the Twilight Zone. The stuff that they make The thought it must take up Why that could cure cancer if they tried. Sadly, they are misguided evil genius type Until they take off, and leave us thinking they died “Got meetings all next week” (but I didn’t go) “What? He’s leaving? I can’t cope!” (You live for me, you know!) “I’m so lonely, need a man” (You’re my pimp, I’m not your ho!) It. Is. Not. My fault. It’s all because of you It’s all because of you It’s all because of you (okay…everybody…) Let’s get some detectives A Board of Directors Em’s typing the discharge up herself Suddenly she’s unemployed blushing bride or not. And she ain’t never she’s never coming back. \*(and for the the record, I independently suspected MC had some blackmail on Boss Milquetoast from early in the first thread. I’m still not completely ready to write him off, for many reasons) (DISCLAIMER: I probably should read all the way to the end of this thread before posting, but if it made Threadspotters, I might never reach the end. It might go to 10 pages or even 3-4 complete thread parts. But even though I just looked over at the dates on the post I just read and realized that I’m a full week behind, I typed this damn thing out, and I’m hitting “Submit” dammit) ---
**Author:** ![Marvel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marvel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvel)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/297 "2003-06-27T00:17:45Z")
I’m only on page five of this HUGE thread and I cannot wait to see how it winds up! I haven’t been this excited to read something start to finish since “Harry Pooter and the Order of the Phoenix” came out! Granted, that was just last weekend, but since I wasa one of the nutjobs at a midnight book sale wearing a scarf in Hufflepuff colors, it means a lot. Back to reading… Patty ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/298 "2003-06-27T00:47:39Z")
Okay, but we can fill in some details, can’t we? \*\*Auntie Em, \*\*how old is Tongue Lady? Because I see her played by Cloris Leachman. ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/299 "2003-06-27T01:08:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Marvel \* > \*\*I’m only on page five of this HUGE thread and I cannot wait to see how it winds up! I haven’t been this excited to read something start to finish since “Harry Pooter and the Order of the Phoenix” came out! Granted, that was just last weekend, but since I wasa one of the nutjobs at a midnight book sale wearing a scarf in Hufflepuff colors, it means a lot. > > Back to reading… > > Patty \*\* I am DIGGING Harry _Pooter_. (Not the book, just the name – that is completely fantastic!! Possibly best typo ever!) [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741/300 "2003-06-27T01:32:06Z")
Hairy Pooter? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/missing-coworker-part-ii/182741.md?page=16)