# Mixed-Up Movie Mayhem : Make Mine Marketable! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 19, 2004, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811 "2004-07-19T13:51:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/1 "2004-07-19T13:51:35Z")
So, in the tradition of movie-hybrid threads of months past, I present this alliterative effort - What if Hollywood tried to more intensely target the toy-buying audience? Not the parents, of course, but the 4 to 10 year-olds that control the real buying power. Kid’s cartoons meet Hollywood live-action. **Days of Thundera** - Lion-O leads the pack as an up and coming young racer. **Along Came a Spider-Man** - J. Jonah Jameson hires a profiler to track down Spider-Man’s real identity, making up wild claims about a kidnapping. **From Here to Eternia** - Prince Adam struggles to find acceptance amongst the warriors of his father’s army, and finds solace in the arms of prostitute Teela. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/2 "2004-07-20T13:52:07Z")
Nobody? Nobody? Yikes. I go out of my way to think up a game for you folks, and… nothin’. [Dangerfield]No respect, no respect. [/Dangerfield] Well, I have a couple more: **I, Go-Bot** - a shady corporation has rolled out a new model of cybernetic assistant that can transform, but all is not as it seems. Can Will Smith stop Cy-Kill and his cronies with the help of Leader One? (And the obscurity award goes to… ) **Clear and Present Dangermouse** - When a situation gets out of hand with Latin American cartels, the U.S. has to call the U.K., to solicit the services of the greatest secret agent in the world. Crikey. **Bram Stoker’s Duckula** - Young Lucy’s family owns the largest garden in all of London - attracting the attention of a mysterious mallard from Eastern Europe. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/3 "2004-07-20T14:19:56Z")
**Bringing Up Baby Dinosaurs** –Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn use recombinant DNA techniques to clone a whole passel of sentient, baby dinosaurs. Madcap antics ensue. ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/4 "2004-07-20T16:36:11Z")
**G.I. Joe vs. the Volcano**? **Optimus Primal Fear**? ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/5 "2004-07-20T16:47:54Z")
**Pride and Pokemon:** The ambitious young Ash faces greater and greater obstacles in his quest to become the world’s best Pokemon trainer. How far will he debase himself and his Pokemon in his quest for the ultimate title? **The Red Badge of Cobra:** Mark Patterson, a down-on-his-luck unemployed steelworker, is approached by a mysterious stranger named “Fred” who promises him wealth, power, and adventure if he joins a secret cabal of terrorists. Will Mark accept the badge? As for **Optimus Primal Fear,** we’ve already had [**Optimus Primal Rage,**](http://www.bwtf.com/bwtf/tvshow/episodes/seasonone/gw/) so why not? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/6 "2004-07-20T16:58:08Z")
I think it’s more fun if you post a description and someone tries to guess the movie title. For example: Julia Roberts plays a hooker with a heart of gold. She must choose between the millionaire, who wants to take her off the streets, and her good friend Ducky, who has supported her through good times and bad. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/7 "2004-07-20T17:06:45Z")
Now we’re talkin! **Jem and the Hollow Man** - Jem and her band are stalked by an invisible Kevin Bacon. **Goodbye, Mr. Chipmunks** - An aged Dave looks back on the tragedies and triumphs of his life with Theodore, Simon, and Alll-VIN! ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/8 "2004-07-20T17:08:48Z")
> [@Terminus Est](#): > > I think it’s more fun if you post a description and someone tries to guess the movie title. For example: > > Julia Roberts plays a hooker with a heart of gold. She must choose between the millionaire, who wants to take her off the streets, and her good friend Ducky, who has supported her through good times and bad. **Pretty Woman in Pink**? Yeah, that’d be a fun game too. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/9 "2004-07-20T17:15:33Z")
Correct! Here’s another: Tom Hanks leads a band of young soldiers to rescue a mysterious human-machine hybrid from the future. The hybrid turns out to be an extremely attractive woman who wants to assimilate them all. ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/10 "2004-07-20T17:17:34Z")
Ah, sorry. Misread the OP. Needs to have something to do with toys. Carry on! ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/11 "2004-07-20T17:20:31Z")
> [@Terminus Est](#): > > Correct! Here’s another: > > Tom Hanks leads a band of young soldiers to rescue a mysterious human-machine hybrid from the future. The hybrid turns out to be an extremely attractive woman who wants to assimilate them all. **Saving Jeri Ryan** , of course. 🙂 But yeah, this thread’s pretty much movie + cartoon hybrids. Though if you reintroduce your idea as its own thread, I’d be happy to play along. ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/12 "2004-07-20T17:53:33Z")
Done: [Movie Merger Madness](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=267400) ---
**Author:** ![snorlax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@snorlax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snorlax)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/13 "2004-07-20T18:05:23Z")
**The Big Red Dog Day Afternoon:** Emily’s bank heist to raise money for Clifford’s neutering goes tragically wrong. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/14 "2004-07-20T18:17:05Z")
> [@snorlax](#): > > **The Big Red Dog Day Afternoon:** Emily’s bank heist to raise money for Clifford’s neutering goes tragically wrong. Bwaha! So wrong. But so good! In that spirit, I offer : **Blue’s Lagoon** - Blue and her owner are shipwrecked on a deserted island and begin to hunt for clues on a voyage of sexual self-discovery. ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/15 "2004-07-20T18:32:17Z")
**The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle** _A fighter down on his luck in working class Philadelphia learns self-reliance and courage from a giant cartoon moose_ **The Road(runner)Warrior** _The madcap adventures of a bird and a coyote in a post-apocalyptic world_ **Dances with Smurfs** _After being posted to the Dakota wilderness, a lonely Army officer (Kevin Costner) befriends a local Smurf Tribe._ **Scent of a Caveman** _A prep school student needing money agrees to “babysit” a blind Captain Caveman, but the job is not at all what he anticipated._ ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/16 "2004-07-20T18:33:34Z")
**Jason and the Wheeled Warriors** - Everyone’s favorite masked machete-wielding maniac gets a boost to his arsenal when he discovers a garage full of buzz-saw equipped vehicles. **The Man in the Iron M.A.S.K.** - The secret twin of King Louis XIV stays locked in prison by day, but by night he leads a team of crime-fighters with armored transforming vehicles. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/17 "2004-07-20T18:35:09Z")
I just realized that \*Clerks : The Animated Series \* did a perfect example of this : \*\*Flintstone’s List \*\* (starring Liam Neeson as Fred). To which I add: **Our Man Flintstone** - Fred Flintstone : Champion bowler, loyal husband, boorish neighbor - international man of mystery? ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/18 "2004-07-20T18:36:24Z")
**"Hot Wheels of Fire"** – Just exactly the same as the B-movie [Wheels of Fire](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088393/) except it introduces a new line of cars with topless women tied spreadeagle on their hoods. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/19 "2004-07-20T18:39:05Z")
**Battlefield : Smurf** - Is the future of humanity enslavement to a tiny race of blue tyrants? **JabberJaws** - Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the concert… ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811/20 "2004-07-20T19:46:38Z")
THE TRIAL OF LIZZIE MCBORDEN (kinda a cartoon- there’s definitely merchandise!)- Jr. High girl Lizzie’s parents are found axed to death & she is the prime suspect. But if not her, who else could it be? The brooding Semitic platonic boyfried? The ethnic spitfire galpal of dubious sexuality? Or the spastic spikey-haired kid brother? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mixed-up-movie-mayhem-make-mine-marketable/255811.md?page=2)