# MLB - Obscene last names **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 26, 2005, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277 "2005-07-26T19:29:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/1 "2005-07-26T19:29:50Z")
A long time ago, I read that there was a big league player whose name could not be uttered by Spanish broadcasters because it was obscene - in español, of course. The writer didn’t spell out the name, and I’ve often wondered who that guy might be. Even though the pronunciation isn’t quite on the money, Clete **Boyer** , is a possibility, I think. You see, “boyo” (as in “boy oh boy!”) is the Spanish equivalent of cunt (pardon the expression, please). Then there’s Don **Blasingame**. It looks tame enough and it’s probably a stretch, but if you softpedal the first syllable and pronounce the rest as SING ah may, (Cingame) that’s Spanish for “Fuck me.” Any ideas? ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/2 "2005-07-26T19:43:23Z")
How about Charles Fuqua Manuel? Sounds like a verb in the middle. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/3 "2005-07-26T19:50:39Z")
You don’t have to speak Spanish to appreciate the most wonderfully hilarious baseball name ever: Rusty Kuntz! ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/4 "2005-07-26T19:54:15Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > You don’t have to speak Spanish to appreciate the most wonderfully hilarious baseball name ever: > > Rusty Kuntz! Who’d argue? 😃😃😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![TheBoneyKingofNowhere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@TheBoneyKingofNowhere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheBoneyKingofNowhere)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/5 "2005-07-26T19:57:25Z")
I had some friends visiting from Austria who’d giggle incessantly every time Robert Fick came to bat for the Atlanta Braves. Fick= Fuck in German. Took me awhile to figure out what they were laughing at. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/6 "2005-07-26T20:09:18Z")
Q: Who’s the only major leaguer whose name consists of 4 body parts? Tony Armas. We’ll never beat “The bowler’s Holding, the batsman’s Willey”, though. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/7 "2005-07-26T20:15:49Z")
I know a five-year-old who thinks the name Pujols is hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/8 "2005-07-26T20:16:15Z")
My last name is VERY close to Neanderthal. It’s a curse… ☹ Not obscene but still… ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/9 "2005-07-26T20:31:40Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > You don’t have to speak Spanish to appreciate the most wonderfully hilarious baseball name ever: > > Rusty Kuntz! Dick Groat, man. That one always gives me the giggles. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/10 "2005-07-26T20:31:51Z")
> [@Manduck](#): > > I know a five-year-old who thinks the name Pujols is hilarious. Pujols is hilarious. My dream matchup would have Bartolo Colon pitching to Pujols. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/11 "2005-07-26T21:23:39Z")
Not very obscene, but I can’t help but wonder how many times Milton Bradley and Coco Crisp have taken the field in the same game at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/12 "2005-07-26T21:50:09Z")
Huh huh huh. Huh huh. Poo Holes. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/13 "2005-07-26T22:18:01Z")
[brief hijack/] But the funniest sports name ever is from Nascar. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you **Dick Trickle**. ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/14 "2005-07-26T22:19:22Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Huh huh huh. > > Huh huh. > > Poo Holes. Thanks, RickJay. Mentally, I gave the Joles part the usual “J” pronunciation. Now it’s funny. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/15 "2005-07-26T23:44:02Z")
The Mariners have a middle reliever named J.J. Putz. (The U is like the OO in “book,” not like the U in, well, putz.) ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2005, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/16 "2005-07-26T23:59:44Z")
> [@E = mc²](#): > > Then there’s Don **Blasingame**. It looks tame enough and it’s probably a stretch, but if you softpedal the first syllable and pronounce the rest as SING ah may, (Cingame) that’s Spanish for “Fuck me.” Except I believe that’s “¡Chíngame!”, with a “ch”, not just a “c”, from “chingar”, to fuck. ---
**Author:** ![randomlyblanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71c47a/32.png) [@randomlyblanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/randomlyblanks)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/17 "2005-07-27T00:59:37Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > Not very obscene, but I can’t help but wonder how many times Milton Bradley and Coco Crisp have taken the field in the same game at the same time. Probably a bunch, since they were 2/3rds of the Cleveland Indians outfield for a good bit of time. ---
**Author:** ![EnderWay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d26b3c/32.png) [@EnderWay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EnderWay)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/18 "2005-07-27T01:10:02Z")
It’s not dirty or from MLB, but my favorite sports person name is … \*Jeff Beukeboom \* … a NHL player from the Oilers then Rangers. For those of you who don’t know and love him! It’s pronounced “Boo-ka-boom”, I’m not kidding! And considering his job … a.k.a goon … it fits so perfectly 🙂 Ahh so much fun watching 235 lb. “Book” … “Boom” someone! So glad were’re getting hockey back 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/19 "2005-07-27T07:38:29Z")
> [@Bambi Hassenpfeffer](#): > > Except I believe that’s “¡Chíngame!”, with a “ch”, not just a “c”, from “chingar”, to fuck. Yep. You don’t want to know how I learned that. Does it have to be sports figures? I had a student whose name was pronounced exactly like the word fuck. He went by Samuel instead, for some reason… ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2005, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/20 "2005-07-27T12:31:01Z")
> [@Bambi Hassenpfeffer](#): > > Except I believe that’s “¡Chíngame!”, with a “ch”, not just a “c”, from “chingar”, to fuck. A Cuban in GTMO give me the infinitive and he spelled it out as Cingar but pronounced it as SEEN gar (ess sound on the cee). His name was Noahcito Websterito. (But he might have been a little chitfaced at the time.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277.md?page=2)