# MLB - Obscene last names **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 26, 2005, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277 "2005-07-26T19:29:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/41 "2005-07-29T16:14:58Z")
Hmmm. Don’t know how this happened… Change to "Back in the 50’s… In GTMO city, in the town square right next to the Church, there’d always be a radio blaring a ball game in the afternoon. **Boyer** would be an assault to the prayerful folk’s ears inside the Church." Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/42 "2005-07-30T04:22:36Z")
> [@The Controvert](#): > > How could we go 36 posts without mention of The Big Unit, Randy Johnson? Bonus points in the UK, randy = horny. His name could be worse. I went to school with a Randy Ladd. Obviously his parents had never spent much time around Brits… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/43 "2005-07-30T05:14:34Z")
Apparently, there’s a guy named Dick Pole who used to play for the Mariners a long time ago. ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/44 "2005-07-30T06:12:36Z")
> [@E = mc²](#): > > Actually, the Cubans would use the singular as I did here. I never thought about it until you brought it up, but as I replay my 1950’s mentall tapes, that’s what they’d say. Not cojones but cojone. Sort of like our “Oh shit!” Could be they just dropped the ess, though. > > Now, **Ashes ashes** , can you dope out why some Cubans would often say to us swabbies, “Geev me **one** cigarette.” (Their emphasis) True. Tell me why. Ha! All I know about Cuba is what I learned from \*I Love Lucy \* and that the Mojito is a fine, fine thing. But putting together the singular cojone and the one cigarrette (it’s not lit, don’t worry), I’m going to say Cubans are crazy for the singular. Was there an unusually large percentage of Cuban pirates with only one eye? Were twins always seperated at birth? A tea do they insist on one lump, not two? I mean, there’s got to be a reason Fidel has been their _one_ leader for such a very long time. ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/45 "2005-07-30T13:08:25Z")
Watson chronicled the “Geev me **one** cigarette” in “The Curious Case of the Reverse Translation.” In Spanish as you know, one says, “Dame cigarro.” But US Sailors wanting to show off their newly acquired fluency en español, would literally translate the American expression “Gimme a cigarette,” as, “Dame **uno** cigarro.” To the Cubans the sailors seemed to put great emphasis on the “uno”, and that this was the way to structure the same request in English. So, theyd say, “Geev me **one** cigarette,” almost always with their index finger in your face. The excitement in GTMO was often overwhelming. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/46 "2005-07-30T15:06:19Z")
Johnny “Ugly” Dickshot. ---
**Author:** ![Sqwerticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecc23a/32.png) [@Sqwerticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sqwerticus)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/47 "2005-07-30T17:00:04Z")
During the Athens Olympics, one of our UK equestrian competitors Pippa Funnell, was constantly being referred to as Philippa Funnell. Eventually, the commentators pointed out that in Greek to ‘Pippa’ is slang for to fuck. Or something along those lines - they were too coy to say exactly what it meant… ---
**Author:** ![Sqwerticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecc23a/32.png) [@Sqwerticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sqwerticus)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/48 "2005-07-30T17:03:09Z")
Shoulda googled before replying…apparently, it’s greek slang for a blow job. ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/49 "2005-07-30T18:40:25Z")
> [@Sqwerticus](#): > > Shoulda googled before replying…apparently, it’s greek slang for a blow job. Did anyone tell Pippa yet? ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/50 "2005-07-30T19:05:02Z")
> [@E = mc²](#): > > The excitement in GTMO was often overwhelming. What the hell is GTMO, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/51 "2005-07-30T19:26:42Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > What the hell is GTMO, anyway? Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, in military parlance. Pronounced Gitmo. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/52 "2005-07-30T19:27:15Z")
Guantanamo. ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/53 "2005-07-30T19:38:11Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > What the hell is GTMO, anyway? Shortspeak for Guantanamo Bay, Guantanamo City, The U.S. Naval Base at GTMO Bay. These days, the press is abbreviating it/them to GITMO, but we (sailors stationed there) never did. ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/54 "2005-07-30T19:42:03Z")
“Playing first base for the Kansas City Royals, **Pete LaCock**.” ---
**Author:** ![Detritus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@Detritus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Detritus)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/55 "2005-07-30T23:53:10Z")
Also in hockey… Radek Bonk (Canadiens) Dan Focht (Penguins) And did you know Satan plays for the Sabres? 😉 Yes! Hockey returns! Dance of joy! ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/56 "2005-07-31T03:15:13Z")
> [@E = mc²](#): > > Watson chronicled the “Geev me **one** cigarette” in “The Curious Case of the Reverse Translation.” > > In Spanish as you know, one says, “Dame cigarro.” > > But US Sailors wanting to show off their newly acquired fluency en español, would literally translate the American expression “Gimme a cigarette,” as, “Dame **uno** cigarro.” To the Cubans the sailors seemed to put great emphasis on the “uno”, and that this was the way to structure the same request in English. So, theyd say, “Geev me **one** cigarette,” almost always with their index finger in your face. > > The excitement in GTMO was often overwhelming. Darn it, I keep trying to sneak away and stop hijacking, but you keep with the fascinating stuff. Plus, I kinda liked my singular adoring, one-eyed-pirate-intensive explanation and was hoping it was true. First of all, what I figured out, I figured out before I read this latest part of the thread. I’m not saying I’m _not_ a bear of little brain, but what fluff I’ve got floating around in my skull figured something out. It took twenty-some years of obliviousness to manifest itself, but then I was all over that puppy once I was _ahem_ about half way through this thread. So really I’m slow, not stupid. Shuddup yer laughin’, all o’yas. Ignorance has been fought here today folks! That’s right, after just a couple of teeny tiny decades, I the Great Ashes, have made the connection between Gitmo, GTMO, and Guantanamo! All on my own. I _swear_. I said shuddup, and snickering counts _too_. Now, on to stuff that doesn’t make me look quite so foolish. Well, one can only hope. I have determined that Cuban and Mexican Spanish are different. Then you throw in the military, and formal, versus pocho spanish (bad, often americanized spanish), and never the twain shall meet I’m thinking. In Mexican spanish if I were to say ‘Give me a cigarette’ I would be abrupt, demanding, and rude, but even so, it would be said ‘Déme un cigarrillo.’ I could also say ‘déme’ --or-- ‘da me un cigarro.’ The first is more proper but a lot of mexican spanish is being corrupted, especially in the north where I live, since it’s close to the border. So often you’ll hear the casual ‘déme’ --or-- ‘da me un cigarro.’ This grates upon anyone who loves the language because ‘da me’ is grammatically incorrect and ‘cigarro’ is a cigar, not cigarette. Hey, at least it’s not the vomitous ‘kehkee’ (‘cake’ with an accent) in place of the correct ‘torta’ or slang ‘pastel.’ It is at this point we look at what is being said in Cuba, we try to reconcile this with what I’m babbling on about, and well, _my_ head’s gonna explode any second if I keep this up. To avoid a nasty clean-up, I’m just going to remind myself that they may speak spanish in Cuba, but it’s not quite the spanish I know here in Mexico. Now I _need_ a Mojito. ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277/57 "2005-07-31T14:28:26Z")
Instead of a Mojito, turn the sound up, sit back, and have a [http://www.bigad.com.au/](http://www.bigad.com.au/) 🙂🙂🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mlb-obscene-last-names/314277.md?page=2)