# Mmm, Chinese corruption-fighting techniques **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 11, 2007, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380 "2007-07-11T16:40:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2007, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/21 "2007-07-15T13:56:17Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] I wonder if it plays _Turkey In The Straw._ [/QUOTE] I hereby nominate this for funniest post of the year! ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2007, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/22 "2007-07-15T14:59:42Z")
[QUOTE=Evil Captor] Exactamundo. Hopefully a lesson the successor will take to heart. [/QUOTE] _Pour encourager les autres._ ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2007, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/23 "2007-07-15T18:07:17Z")
[QUOTE=dropzone] It’s nice, but I still like the NKVD’s photo booth. Prisoner is seated in the booth and told they are taking his mug shot. NKVD agent pushes his TT-31 through the hole in the back (conveniently back-of-skull high) and pulls the trigger. Prisoner is dropped to the Pile-O-Corpses below, to be buried by forced labor. Built-in water jets clean off the bits of blood, brain, and bone (the 7.62 mm Tokarev is way too powerful for cleanliness) and the seat is reset for the next picture. I think we should be glad the Chinese are using such an inefficient, even modern, method. As nice as the bus is, you can’t get any throughput, and it shows they don’t need to be efficent. The Nazis realized early on that, with millions of people to kill, they needed to improve their efficiency so they gave up on individual killings. Sure, the Hutu got some amazing throughput with only machetes, but labor is cheap in Rwanda. [/QUOTE] Labor is cheap in China too. And poison is amazingly cheap – it’s used as a filler in most of their processed export foods. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/24 "2007-07-16T05:17:27Z")
[QUOTE=NicePete] While I do think execution is a little harsh, it is awfully nice to see an administration hold someone at the top responsible for something. [/QUOTE] Except that they executed this guy real fast, before he had a chance to testify in court about other Chinese officials who might also have been taking bribes. Way to get rid of the cooperating witness! Bet lots of higher-up Chinese Officials breathed a sigh of relief. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/25 "2007-07-16T05:27:50Z")
“Scooter? Hi, Dick Cheney, here. Listen, you sitting down? Got some kinda bad news…” ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/26 "2007-07-16T19:45:26Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Labor is cheap in China too. [/QUOTE] Not nearly as cheap as in Rwanda. [Chinese salaries keep climbing](http://marketplace.publicradio.org/shows/2007/07/06/PM200707067.html) and executions can’t be outsourced cheaply or easily. And the filler poisons don’t work fast enough to shut a guy up. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/27 "2007-07-16T20:49:29Z")
[QUOTE=dropzone] Not nearly as cheap as in Rwanda. [Chinese salaries keep climbing](http://marketplace.publicradio.org/shows/2007/07/06/PM200707067.html) and executions can’t be outsourced cheaply or easily. And the filler poisons don’t work fast enough to shut a guy up. [/QUOTE] Rwandan execution costs are skewed downward by the unusually high levels of volunteerism. Plus, they have just about reached the technological limits of the machete as an execution tool. Making them bigger or sharper just won’t make much total difference in throughput. The Chinese Death Bus, however, is still relatively early in its development. AFAIK, they haven’t yet harnessed the exhaust system for gassing, their kinetic kills are by sheer accident on the way to and from execution sites – hell, they could even take power off an axle using some kind of block and tackle for mass strangulation. There is a great deal of untapped potential. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/28 "2007-07-17T12:13:22Z")
[QUOTE=adam yax] I have been saying for a while that I expect somebody to get executed over the pet food thing as well. [/QUOTE] How do you think they _make_ the petfood? “New FRISKY-BITS! Give your cat a REAL taste of Asia!” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/29 "2007-07-17T12:42:26Z")
[QUOTE=Scissorjack] How do you think they _make_ the petfood? “New FRISKY-BITS! Give your cat a REAL taste of Asia!” [/QUOTE] Puts a whole new meaning to “General Tsao’s Chicken”. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/30 "2007-07-17T13:06:38Z")
[QUOTE=Evil Captor] Now, I’m not wishing death on anyone, since we of course are not following China’s lead any time soon (that I know of – I never would have expected the US government to sanction torture, so I never can be absolutely sure what those crazy morons in the Bush Admin. will do next.) [/QUOTE] I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for this administration to apply the existing sanctions for corruption in high places, much less the death penalty. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/31 "2007-07-17T14:48:26Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Rwandan execution costs are skewed downward by the unusually high levels of volunteerism. Plus, they have just about reached the technological limits of the machete as an execution tool. Making them bigger or sharper just won’t make much total difference in throughput. [/QUOTE] How are you so sure they won’t eventually make a machete so big and so sharp it destroys us all? I, for one, believe the UN must, before it’s too late, put in place a treaty stopping machete escalation and which eventually ends machete disarm- and disheadament. > [@](#): > > The Chinese Death Bus, however, is still relatively early in its development. AFAIK, they haven’t yet harnessed the exhaust system for gassing, their kinetic kills are by sheer accident on the way to and from execution sites – hell, they could even take power off an axle using some kind of block and tackle for mass strangulation. There is a great deal of untapped potential. The Nazis got good, but not great, results from using truck exhaust, normally a waste product thrown willy-nilly into the atmosphere, but they usually used the trucks stationary, piping the gases into a room, which was a waste of fuel. Only rarely did they load up the back and poison the prisoners there, and that was while driving around the German, Czech, or Polish countryside, making a great loop before ending at a mass gravesite near where they started. A pleasant outing for the driver but wasteful joyriding from an environmental standpoint. Your idea for using the trip between execution sites for additional executions is the sort of breakthrough thinking we need to fight Global Warming! Taking power off the wheel for mass strangulations is good, and how about this idea I got from a documentary about the Romans called “Ben Hur”: You mount the blades from some Rwandan machetes to the Death Bus’ wheels and you don’t even need to slow down to execute people! Remember folks, we’re brainstorming so there’s no such thing as a bad idea. > [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Puts a whole new meaning to “General Tsao’s Chicken”. Continuing the Charlton Heston theme…nah, “Soylent Green” references are too easy. ---
**Author:** ![brossa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brossa/32/3040_2.png) [@brossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brossa)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/32 "2007-07-17T15:19:36Z")
[QUOTE=dropzone] Taking power off the wheel for mass strangulations is good, and how about this idea I got from a documentary about the Romans called “Ben Hur”: You mount the blades from some Rwandan machetes to the Death Bus’ wheels and you don’t even need to slow down to execute people! Remember folks, we’re brainstorming so there’s no such thing as a bad idea. [/QUOTE] One word: [Biodiesel.](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2001/11/04/wfuel04.xml) ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/33 "2007-07-17T16:45:15Z")
Does anyone know if China also executed the people who offered/paid the bribes to get their poisons approved? Because I have no problem with those scumbags getting justice. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/34 "2007-07-17T20:43:44Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] Puts a whole new meaning to “General Tsao’s Chicken”. [/QUOTE] “Give your cat that GREAT LEAP FORWARD with new CHAIRMAN MEOW.” ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/35 "2007-07-17T21:21:48Z")
Szechuan dumplings, after the deal has been done… it’s a glamour profession… with cardboard compression… [/my steely dan parody] ---
**Author:** ![Spit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@Spit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spit)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/36 "2007-07-18T00:24:42Z")
> [@](#): > > carnivorousplant Quote: > Originally Posted by **Article** > China metes out capital punishment from specially equipped “death vans” that shuttle from town to town. > > I wonder if it plays Turkey In The Straw. [QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] I hereby nominate this for funniest post of the year! [/QUOTE] Seconded. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380/37 "2007-07-18T01:30:13Z")
[QUOTE=BwanaBob] Does anyone know if China also executed the people who offered/paid the bribes to get their poisons approved? Because I have no problem with those scumbags getting justice. [/QUOTE] So far, they have not even been arrested or charged with any crime. Indeed, their names have been left out of the news reports on this. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-chinese-corruption-fighting-techniques/411380.md?page=1)