# mmm...penis **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2001, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508 "2001-07-06T18:04:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/1 "2001-07-06T18:04:23Z")
I have just returned from F.A.O Schweetz, where I bought 2/3 of a pound of sweet tart teddy bears. I sat down to my desk to enjoy a sweet, chalky, pastel handful of the candy, popped a bear into my mouth and lo and behold… it tasted like an old, smelly, sweaty penis. what’s up with THAT? My mind is quite literally racing with terror at what was in that candy bin before I dug my little shovel into it. ::shuddering:: ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/2 "2001-07-06T18:09:17Z")
What can I say? At least **you** don’t have gummi bears caught in your pubes. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/3 "2001-07-06T18:12:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > > At least **you** don’t have gummi bears caught in your pubes. shows you how much YOU know. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/4 "2001-07-06T18:13:02Z")
I want to know how you instantly recognized what an “old, smelly, sweaty penis” tastes like. Who ARE you? Anna Nicole Smith? Catherine Zeta Jones? ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/5 "2001-07-06T18:19:16Z")
Hmmm…i guess when I say “old” I mean, not fresh out of the box, clean showered penis…rather, penis that has been crammed into tight jeans all day while its owner dug ditches in Tulsa. Not that I know A LOT of penises… ---
**Author:** ![Home\_of\_the\_Braves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Home\_of\_the\_Braves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Home_of_the_Braves)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/6 "2001-07-06T18:28:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*I want to know how you instantly recognized what an “old, smelly, sweaty penis” tastes like. Who ARE you? Anna Nicole Smith? Catherine Zeta Jones? \*\* Obviously, you’ve never had your nose anywhere near a penis. Once you go down on a man, you instantly are aware of the smell, and recognize it every time after. Ladies, am I right? ---
**Author:** ![Wicked\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/7 "2001-07-06T18:37:32Z")
Damn it, this thread isn’t what I thought it’d be about at all. I was all ready to come in here and say how much I like…well, never mind. 😃 Damn you **jarbaby** , and your misleading thread titles. Rose ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/8 "2001-07-06T18:54:32Z")
Damn you and your teasing! ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/9 "2001-07-06T19:01:35Z")
Hey now. I’ll admit that I’ve provided some misleading thread titles in the past but for the love of Christ, this candy tasted like sweaty dicks! CANDY, candy which should…probably not…taste like a penis! I have nothing inherently to complain about regarding penis taste, I just thought it was interesting, if not scary and somewhat unhygenic that a sweet tart confection found that taste imprinted on it. Unless Willy Wonka has a new flavor that I’ve yet to see the press release on. ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/10 "2001-07-06T19:30:55Z")
Willy Wonka’s Willy? ---
**Author:** ![VaHermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ed655f/32.png) [@VaHermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VaHermit)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/11 "2001-07-06T19:54:06Z")
_ **From the candymaker** _ Dear Sir or Madam: Thank you for participating in our recent marketing test for our newly developed line of adult candies. Please note that “Penis Delight” will also be available in mild and medium strength. We are inclosing a sample of each for your diverse oral pleasure. Your comments are welcome and will be forwarded to the marketing department. You may be interested in knowing that our “Vagina Brunch” line is well on its way to becoming our biggest seller. Please recommend us to your male friends… The Company ---
**Author:** ![PolishSausage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@PolishSausage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PolishSausage)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/12 "2001-07-06T19:58:59Z")
Wonka my willy ~t ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/13 "2001-07-06T20:17:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > **Unless Willy Wonka has a new flavor that I’ve yet to see the press release on.** Haven’t ya heard of Everlasting Gobstoppers or Fizzy Lifting Drink? Maybe they’re like Altoids, and you’re supposed to pop a few in your mouth before… you know… ---
**Author:** ![False\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee7513/32.png) [@False\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/False_God)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/14 "2001-07-06T23:15:09Z")
Just last night I was reading “Two Fat Ladies Full Throttle” , turned the page, and saw a recipe for PENIS STEW! If anyone knows what penis tastes like, it’s undoubtedly them. ---
**Author:** ![mongrel\_8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@mongrel\_8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mongrel_8)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/15 "2001-07-06T23:37:20Z")
The title of this thread reminded me of something I did in high school once. In our lunch room was a marquee that told what was for lunch everyday. Well, one time when I was in there for jazz band practice one night, I switched the letters around so that Friday it said: **mmm Penis**. What was neat was that I did this Monday night and it wasn’t discovered by the lunch ladies till Friday. I was actually there when a student (finally) showed a lunch lady. It was great watching here read it out loud and then get this shocked and amazed look on her face. Well, any way just my anecdote for the day. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/16 "2001-07-06T23:44:46Z")
When you were at the store, did you accidentally grab a handful of Gummi Cocks? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/17 "2001-07-06T23:47:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mongrel\_8 \* > **The title of this thread reminded me of something I did in high school once. \** After starting a post in a penis thread like that, it’s a good thing you followed it up with an explanation. 😃 (“Penis thread”? Is it just me, or does that sound kinda yicky to anyone else?) ---
**Author:** ![BooBoo316](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@BooBoo316](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BooBoo316)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/18 "2001-07-06T23:56:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > \*\*When you were at the store, did you accidentally grab a handful of Gummi Cocks? \*\* Aren’t those right next to the Gummi Nads? ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/19 "2001-07-06T23:59:06Z")
“Fresh out of the box”??? ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/20 "2001-07-07T00:00:10Z")
**jarbabyj** , count me among those who thought this thread would be about something else entirely. Did you take them back or call the store to tell them something is very, very wrong with that candy? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508.md?page=2)