# mmm...penis **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2001, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508 "2001-07-06T18:04:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/21 "2001-07-07T00:06:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jeannie \* > \*\ ***jarbabyj** , count me among those who thought this thread would be about something else entirely. Did you take them back or call the store to tell them something is very, very wrong with that candy? > > \*\* Would you want to make that phone call? ---
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/22 "2001-07-07T00:37:33Z")
Sam Stone: what, do you mean to say that i am the ONLY one with a cardboard inset in the front of my pants? keeps things fresh you know… ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/23 "2001-07-07T00:47:21Z")
Just to prove I got a rock and roll quote for all occasions… > [@](#): > > _Mary Prankster, ‘Valentine’_ > > This bitter little mouth is my only claim to fame > 'Cause once you’ve given head nothing **ever** tastes the same! Sorry. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/24 "2001-07-07T01:19:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Jeannie \* > > \*\ ***jarbabyj** , count me among those who thought this thread would be about something else entirely. Did you take them back or call the store to tell them something is very, very wrong with that candy? > > > > \*\* > > Would you want to make that phone call? \*\* Well, I wouldn’t call and say that it tastes like a smelly old penis, but I would mention that it does not taste as it should. Maybe they would offer a store credit or something. Plus, I would want to let people know a product was bad. (I’m assuming here that **jarbabyj** has had this candy before and is fairly sure that it _shouldn’t_ taste like that). ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/25 "2001-07-07T01:43:55Z")
At least they didn’t melt in your hand. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/26 "2001-07-07T01:53:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dr\_Paprika \* > \*\*At least they didn’t melt in your hand. > \*\* Or in your hair! ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/27 "2001-07-07T02:13:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Fresh out of the box? I dunno about you, but I would never describe them as being “fresh” when they have just left the box. I know there is a joke somewhere in this thread involving sweet-tart bears that taste like dick and sour pusses, but I just can’t seem to pull it together. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/28 "2001-07-07T03:43:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by VaHermit \* > \*\*_ **From the candymaker** _ > > You may be interested in knowing that our “Vagina Brunch” line is well on its way to becoming our biggest seller. Please recommend us to your male friends… The Company \*\* Gives a whole new meaning to “sweet tart”. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/29 "2001-07-07T03:49:12Z")
“penis”? what’s that? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/30 "2001-07-07T07:43:33Z")
How many licks does it take to get to … oh, never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/31 "2001-07-07T08:02:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Jeannie \* > > \*\ ***jarbabyj** , count me among those who thought this thread would be about something else entirely. Did you take them back or call the store to tell them something is very, very wrong with that candy? > > > > \*\* > > Would you want to make that phone call? \*\* In a heartbeat. Oh, and JC? > [@](#): > > - Mary Prankster,The world is full of bastards\*: > You don’t know if the beer is bitter > ’Til you buy a glass ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/32 "2001-07-07T11:57:53Z")
These candies didn’t have a creamy filling, did they? Sorry, couldn’t resist. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/33 "2001-07-07T13:02:41Z")
i didn’t return them to the store because every sweet tart bear after that tasted exactly fine! It was a one shot deal. Very very odd. But it has spawned a new term among my friends OSD (Old Sweaty Dick) that we used ad nauseum last night while watching Macbeth. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/34 "2001-07-07T13:21:15Z")
Does this mean that all the rest of the bears tasted like a young, odorless and freshly washed penis? ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/35 "2001-07-07T13:27:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Turbo Dog \* > \*\*Does this mean that all the rest of the bears tasted like a young, odorless and freshly washed penis? \*\* Sheesh! If only! ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/36 "2001-07-07T13:55:24Z")
I was gonna add to this thread by complaining that when I opened a box of green tea yesterday, it smelled just like overcooked spinach… but you know, _it’s just not as funny_ ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/37 "2001-07-07T20:52:33Z")
> [@](#): > > I didn’t return them to the store because every sweet tart bear after that tasted exactly fine! It was a _one shot deal_. Maybe it was just tired, did ya ever think of that? Huh?! ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/38 "2001-07-07T21:24:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*i didn’t return them to the store because every sweet tart bear after that tasted exactly fine! It was a one shot deal. \*\* …oooohhhhhkkkkkaaaa… **jarbabyj** , whatever possessed you to eat the _second_ one 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/39 "2001-07-07T21:28:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ruby \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > > \*\*i didn’t return them to the store because every sweet tart bear after that tasted exactly fine! It was a one shot deal. \*\* > > …oooohhhhhkkkkkaaaa… **jarbabyj** , whatever possessed you to eat the _second_ one 😃 \*\* Once again proving why we all have a lot of fond feelings for **jarbaby**. She sniffs where no man has sniffed before. Most of us see her as a kind of Captain Kirk of the penis universe. 😃 Cartooniverse ( my dream is to awaken to find myself the Yeoman Rand of the Penis Universe ) ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2001, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/40 "2001-07-07T22:40:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ruby \* > > …oooohhhhhkkkkkaaaa… **jarbabyj** , whatever possessed you to eat the _second_ one 😃 Those damn things cost me 6.64! You think I’m going to throw them all out because of a little dick residue? I’ve got a dog to feed. 🙂 jarbaby [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508.md?page=3)