# mmm...penis **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2001, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508 "2001-07-06T18:04:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MIKE\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MIKE\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MIKE_P)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/41 "2001-07-08T01:41:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > \*\*When you were at the store, did you accidentally grab a handful of Gummi Cocks? \*\* How about gummy dongs? Warning not for the easily offended: [http://gummydongs.com/home.htm](http://gummydongs.com/home.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/42 "2001-07-08T06:49:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MIKE\_P \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > > \*\*When you were at the store, did you accidentally grab a handful of Gummi Cocks? \*\* > > How about gummy dongs? Warning not for the easily offended: > [http://gummydongs.com/home.htm](http://gummydongs.com/home.htm) \*\* You think we’d be offended by that? HA! You haven’t been around here much yet, have you? This is the site that made felching and squicking household words! We are Satan incarnate, baby, so just leave your virgin daughter on the alter. We’ll take care of the rest. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/43 "2001-07-08T07:00:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MIKE\_P \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > > \*\*When you were at the store, did you accidentally grab a handful of Gummi Cocks? \*\* > > How about gummy dongs? Warning not for the easily offended: > [http://gummydongs.com/home.htm](http://gummydongs.com/home.htm) \*\* Think I’m gonna go with sour apple. ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/44 "2001-07-08T07:45:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cartooniverse \* > \*\*( my dream is to awaken to find myself the Yeoman Rand of the Penis Universe ) \*\* I have no idea who Yeomen Rand is, but this is the funniest thing I’ve seen all day. Me, I want to know where I can get candy that tastes like boobies. Or maybe just candy that’s shaped like them, since as far as I can tell boobies taste a whole lot like… skin. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/45 "2001-07-08T16:23:35Z")
I always thought they should have women-flavored chewing tobacco. I can see it now: _I’d like a tin of red-head please. Hmmm, I’m trying to cut back, maybe I’ll just get some Brunette Bandits_. Or maybe, _Yeah, uh gimme a pouch of 22-year-old snatch and some 50-year-old for my dad…he likes the flavor._ It’s an acquired taste, but a good one. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/46 "2001-07-08T18:57:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Ruby \* > > > > …oooohhhhhkkkkkaaaa… **jarbabyj** , whatever possessed you to eat the _second_ one 😃 > > Those damn things cost me 6.64! You think I’m going to throw them all out because of a little dick residue? I’ve got a dog to feed. 🙂 > > jarbaby \*\* Why not simply feed them to the dog? Since most of them spend a good part of their time licking themselves (Oh, and don’t try and tell me you wouldn’t do the same if you could!), the dog would probably love 'em! (Not to mention you’d have the fun of seeing the puzzled expression on the dog’s face as it chewed and chewed and chewed.) ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/47 "2001-07-08T19:41:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by thinksnow \* > \*\*I always thought they should have women-flavored chewing tobacco. I can see it now: > > _I’d like a tin of red-head please. Hmmm, I’m trying to cut back, maybe I’ll just get some Brunette Bandits_. > \*\* Thus proving to the world that redheads are the strongest, with the most mild, pleasing flavour… [sub]I have to stop opening these threads[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/48 "2001-07-08T23:26:56Z")
> [@](#): > > My mind is quite literally racing with terror at what was in that candy bin before I **dug my little shovel into it.** So, is that what the kids are calling it these days? ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/49 "2001-07-08T23:35:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > **You think I’m going to throw them all out because of a little dick residue?** Oh God. I’ll never be able to look at sweet-tart bears or gummi bears or candy bears of any kind without thinking of the phrase, **dick residue**. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/50 "2001-07-09T00:43:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Atreyu \* > \*\* > Oh God. > > I’ll never be able to look at sweet-tart bears or gummi bears or candy bears of any kind without thinking of the phrase, **dick residue**. > > \*\* Hey kids, we may be on to something here. As a spin-off of Dear Abby, enter, **Dick Residue** … Dear Mr. Residue, Yesterday I bought these sweet/tart thingys… Oooohhh, the possibilities are _endless_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Lao](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dr.Lao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Lao)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/51 "2001-07-09T01:36:23Z")
“And now, for your listening pleasure, Tampa’s favorite heavy-metal, punk band: **Dick Residue and the Stains!** ” ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/52 "2001-07-09T01:45:51Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Mnementh \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Me, I want to know where I can get candy that tastes like boobies. Or maybe just candy that’s shaped like them, since as far as I can tell boobies taste a whole lot like… skin. \*\* Try [adult candy](http://www.tittax.com) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/53 "2001-07-09T02:37:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > **…it has spawned a new term among my friends OSD (Old Sweaty Dick) that we used ad nauseum last night while watching Macbeth.** WHILE WATCHING MACBETH? Macbeth? I’m sitting here racking my brains to think of the parts of the play that would make you think of OSD (let alone yell it out) and I’m stumped. "Infirm of purpose! Give me the - OLD SWEATY DICK! "Can all the perfumes of Arabia sweeten this small OLD SWEATY DICK! "Fair is foul and foul is OLD SWEATY DICK! Nah - doesnt quite work for me. Loves Labours Lost - there’s sweaty dick in almost every scene. A Tale of Two Cities - now there’s a real OSD classic. Lassie Come Home - all of Elizabeth Taylors scenes in that deserve the cry “OSD!” But Macbeth? **Jarbabyj** baby, Please explain! “Lay-on” RedDuff ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/54 "2001-07-09T03:46:46Z")
tah tah dah dah dat ta dah… ::Our new superhero, **Dick Residue** , bursts onto the boards wearing his latex cape, his ever faithful sidekick, Penis Envy, at his side. And of course, **Crunchy Frog’s** balls are not far behind:: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/55 "2001-07-09T13:40:58Z")
> [@](#): > > ::Our new superhero, Dick Residue, bursts onto the boards wearing his latex cape, his ever faithful sidekick, Penis Envy, at his side. And of course, Crunchy Frog’s balls are not far behind:: Is this anything like **The Ambiguously Gay Duo**? I have nothing pertinent to add to this thread; just a thumbs up to **jarbabyj** for yet another _provocative_ thread title! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/56 "2001-07-09T14:14:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Redboss \* > > Macbeth? I’m sitting here racking my brains to think of the parts of the play that would make you think of OSD (let alone yell it out) and I’m stumped. It wasn’t so much the play itself as: “This guy’s performance is about as appealing as an old sweaty dick in my face.” or “That fight scene stank like old, sweaty dick” (it was a bad production) jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/57 "2001-07-09T18:10:54Z")
[This article](http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,2276897%5E663,00.html) is tangentially relevant. At least, I bet that’s what the fish involved are thinking. The people involved probably think more along the lines of “AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/58 "2001-07-09T21:12:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mnementh \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Cartooniverse \* > > \*\*( my dream is to awaken to find myself the Yeoman Rand of the Penis Universe ) \*\* > > I have no idea who Yeomen Rand is, but this is the funniest thing I’ve seen all day… > > \*\* You _are_ young, aren’t you? And not an original Trekkie. Oh Janice, your beehive 'do and pout just send me! You’re the sexiest thing next to Veena! Or **Arden Ranger**. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/59 "2001-07-09T21:28:10Z")
“It’s a condom . . . it’s a mint . . . it’s a **condomint!** ” ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2001, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508/60 "2001-07-11T02:59:56Z")
So the other day I’m eating from a bag of Swedish Fish. . . . . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmm-penis/71508.md?page=2)