# MMP - a generally crappy Monday **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [March 1, 2010, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815 "2010-03-01T03:30:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/181 "2010-03-04T02:42:12Z")
I thought long and hard before starting this tale. I was in a class called Bombs, Booby Traps, and Explosives this time around. A lot of it I’m honor bound not to discuss, which isn’t that big of a deal. The problem is that the instructors, besides being hardcore cops who eat motorcycle gang members for breakfast, were a couple of comedians. Yeah, I go for the laughs with these tales, but I couldn’t keep up with the jokes these guys threw when we weren’t expecting them. As an example, a lot of discussion centered on terrorism and their straw character ‘Johnny Jihad’. “Think of their motivation for killing you. They expect 73 virgins when they get to heaven. That doesn’t make any sense, and sounds like my idea of Hell. Think about it. If I were going to spend eternity with 73 women, I’d want them to all be hookers, so they’d know what they were doing!” Besides Johnny Jihad, the other pet character was the criminally stupid redneck. Don, the main instructor would always signify this with a Mortimer Snerd type expression on his face: upper lip rolled back, jaw retracted, and a vacant look in his eyes. We’d howl every time he did it. The gist of the class is splodey stuff is bad. Don’t even try to defuse a bomb. Booby traps will get you every time. We did a bomb search in a building, and died within 2 minutes. I went home Saturday night with my head swimming. Around 8:30 PM, I answered a rescue call close to home. An old guy was trying to leave in his pickup, saw the driveway was blocked by his wife’s car, and got out to move it. Only he left the truck in reverse instead of park, so it ran him over and broke his leg. :smack: The call was basic and unremarkable, but the entire time we worked it, all I could see was Don doing his stupid face in my mind. 😃 Sunday, we had an outdoor exercise with a booby-trapped trail. It was 75 feet long, had nine booby traps on it. We found five, and died 3 times. I think I’ll stick to pulling hose and running ambulances. Bomb Squad ain’t fer me… The highlight, however, was the explosives demonstrations. They set off various things like black powder, KENI sticks, liquid shots, etc. They all went bang quite appropriately, and we observed from about 100 yards. “This one is C4. We don’t like it, because we don’t have a need to blow up bridges. We brought it along to get rid of it.” They showed us a block that if they had two of them stacked together, would have been about the size of a construction brick. The C4 block went downrange to the spot they were using, wired up, and all of the usual “Fire in the Hole!” types of warnings went out. Don counted down “3, 2, 1…,” and pushed the button on the detonator. **KABOOM** It was the biggest explosion to that point, and apparently, even they underestimated it, because you could see grapefruit sized chunks of mud get thrown up into the air. “Holey SHIT!” in 30 part harmony, and we went diving to get out of the way of the dirt clods as they rained down on us. The other charges just burned the stubble, but this left an HTG crater. When the instructor went back, he stepped in to a hole as deep as his knees. When we could look for ourselves later, the crater was 18" deep and about four feet cross. The two instructors were last seen bitching about having to fill the crater back in… ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/182 "2010-03-04T05:37:20Z")
Home. Canes traded my favorite player today. Game tomorrow. **NinjaChef II** , come out and play! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/183 "2010-03-04T08:45:54Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Our roofing is being delivered on Firday, and being installed on Saturday, weather permitting. It’s supposed to be in the 50s on Sat, and no rain being threatened so far, so YAY! I’m very excited that the work is beginning. I think windows are next. We shall see. I had this image of a truck carrying a whole-cloth roof and a crane lifting it in place. Thought I’d share. Tomorrow I’m going to go out of town, 15 of us are going to spend the weekend making fake weaponry and silly jokes. I’ve been looking for my driver’s license but can’t find it 😕, I’m not driving but thought it would be better if I brought it, so we had two drivers in my car. It’ll pop up at some point, I imagine. I know I have it in the room (I got something else from that wallet last month), it’s just playing hide and seek. So, since I won’t be here on Sunday, HAPPY BOODAY! _un-sticky, un-sticky, un-sticky…_ Come out, GnatBro, we’ll let you play with the baking mix! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/184 "2010-03-04T09:30:26Z")
Good Mornin’ Y’all! Up and caffienatin’ _YAWN_ Time to unstick **Lil’ Lissar 2.0**! All of us who are big brothers need to start thinkin’ of ummm… “helpful hints” for Nat. He will need assistance in learnin’ his big brother bounden duties. We’ve been usin’ Rite I of The Eucharist durin’ Lent. “Bounden Duty” and “It Is Meet And Right So To Do” have become two of my favorite phrases. I look for opportunities to use both phrases. Bomb squad skool sounds like da bomb **BBBobbio**! 😃 Ok, need to feed rumbly tummy then get ready for another day of irk. Happy Thursday Y’all! Or, if **Haze** is readin’ along… Happy Thrusday Y’all! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/185 "2010-03-04T10:46:32Z")
I think I had the worst headache of my life last night. I felt like my head was about to split open. Poor TVMan had to run around and take care of me. At one point after I’d already lost my supper he had to go find the infamous yellow bucket (back from my frequent nausea days) and I sat here with the window open because I was on fire and the bucket in front of me.\* I could barely even drink the water that he brought me. Fortunately my head has subsided to a dull roar this morning. \*No, I couldn’t have just tossed my cookies out the window because they would have landed on the front porch 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tarragon918](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@tarragon918](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tarragon918)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/186 "2010-03-04T11:14:49Z")
Good morning all, up and caffeinating here. I’ve skimmed posts, so haven’t absorbed all. **Rosie’s** sig to any and all who need it, as well as special prayers and thoughts for **Haze’s Irish Boyfriend’s Dad**. (I hope that sentence made sense!} It’s been a topsy-turvey few days, not enough time to explain. At least it’s -nearly- **FIRDAY**. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/187 "2010-03-04T12:13:30Z")
**B L U R F** but at least I’m going away for the weekend ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/188 "2010-03-04T13:01:19Z")
Up, caffeinated, off to work. Hockey tonight. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/189 "2010-03-04T13:33:16Z")
Blurf. No Krayzees[sup]tm[/sup] and no snow for this morning’s commute. I don’t know how to act today without the excitement. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/190 "2010-03-04T13:36:06Z")
Blrf. Woke up late, but I got here only 5 minutes late. Need more coffee… ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/191 "2010-03-04T14:40:33Z")
Blurf ditto. The job boards are boring this morning. Also, it is very chilly but they are promising a warmup. This has been the coldest and longest winter in the 20 years I’ve lived here. Roise’s sig to all. Tupug ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/192 "2010-03-04T14:45:00Z")
[QUOTE=VunderBob] Sunday, we had an outdoor exercise with a booby-trapped trail. It was 75 feet long, had nine booby traps on it. We found five, and died 3 times. I think I’ll stick to pulling hose and running ambulances. Bomb Squad ain’t fer me… [/QUOTE] Reminds me of an oldie but goodie from the Windows 98 days - Wired For Sound’s Talking Minesweeper. You could run Minesweeper in a cheat mode - think right-clicking a grid square would yield a goofy “Don’t do that!” if there was a mine. If you stepped on a mine, you died with a similarly goofy “Owwwwww!” ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/193 "2010-03-04T14:54:10Z")
Right. Just sent Attacks Husband off with Gnat, hoping they don’t kill each other. Got a stern lecture from midwife yesterday telling me to eat more and rest more, which continues to be hard, since I’m now throwing up from heartburn if I eat, but I’m losing a little weight, and that’s npt good. This is not splendiferous. We can have this baby any day now. Grateful that tomorrow is Friday. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/194 "2010-03-04T14:55:39Z")
So, wassup with Mozilla and spellcheck? I’m sending an e-mail to a few friends and was typed the word “Biafra”, as in Jello. It got underlined. Now, ok, maybe Mozilla isn’t hip enough to put Biafra and Jello together, but [Dictionary.com](http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/biafra) certainly knows what the heck the word itself means. It’s a legit word designating a geographic region. Come on. Really? Mozilla? Catch up. PS: [For the fogies.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jello_Biafra) ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/195 "2010-03-04T16:22:45Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > Besides Johnny Jihad, the other pet character was the criminally stupid redneck. Don, the main instructor would always signify this with a Mortimer Snerd type expression on his face: upper lip rolled back, jaw retracted, and a vacant look in his eyes. We’d howl every time he did it. Wait a minute! If he had a college education and worked at the DuPont plant, I think that redneck may have been a relative! 🙂 Cousin Tom P took me on a tour of the Moosic facility once. All over the grounds were these old antique-like bath tubs; the old claw-foot kind that are heavy as Hades and thick as one of my mothers relatives. At one point I asked him what they were for and he said “Explosions. If you hear a klaxon, head for the nearest one, dive in, and hope its empty. Keep your mouth open and your eardrums may survive.” (The reason they used the clawfoots instead of regular tubs was the legs allowed rain and such to drain. Hicks they are but ones who know what booms sound like) ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/196 "2010-03-04T16:27:10Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > PS: [For the fogies.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jello_Biafra) :dubious: ah. kthxbai. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/197 "2010-03-04T17:52:56Z")
> [@gardentraveler](#): > > I started doing this a couple months ago. I have a home inventory album on flickr and a spreadsheet with a list on Google documents. I haven’t gotten any further… my camera’s batteries are dead and the charger is missing. But I still have good intentions to finish on the weekend. Why is it so hard to do this? Yay for a visit from your Faraway Best Friend! Great story **bobbio**! I didn’t know Jello Biafra either. Sorry **MBG**. There’s a department happy hour starting at 3. Yippee. ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/198 "2010-03-04T18:08:59Z")
It’s been a stressful day but a good one so far. And soon there will be more forking! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/199 "2010-03-04T18:57:59Z")
Blurf. Dinner last night didn’t turn out well. I ended up throwing most of it out. I think most of it is that I forgot the bamboo shoots and I didn’t use enough seasoning. It was just bland. Oh well. Otherwise, I got nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815/200 "2010-03-04T19:03:19Z")
I love naptime. Also, I love that Gnat will be with my parents most of tomorrow. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-a-generally-crappy-monday/530815.md?page=11)