# MMP - As serious as a heart attack. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [December 12, 2005, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230 "2005-12-12T07:36:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/201 "2005-12-15T16:05:21Z")
Everyone gets a nickname? Except me, I guess. All I got was this nifty sig line. I have a question. When the boss calls you into his office, shuts the door, and hands you a Christmas bonus check in a sealed envelop, do you open it there or just put it in your pocket? Now, my boss isn’t one of the owners, so it’s not his money he’s giving me. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/202 "2005-12-15T16:07:24Z")
[Snoopy dance] Dryer man has come and gone. I have a dryer. I HAVE A DRYER!!! And I am doing wash right now–never thought I would live to see the day when I was happy to do laundry, but here it is. (it is somewhat embarassing because…the hidden switch that turns on the dryer, the one that is triggered by the door opening etc was stuck in the off position. Heh. Ah, yeah. Well. \\* Now, if only the furnace man would show up… \*never done the size thingy–hope this is small. **Taters** --it’s ok. I was just joshing yer. I want me some of those molten choc thingys–but I dont’ have the ramin cups. Darn. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/203 "2005-12-15T16:08:22Z")
> [@Sean Factotum](#): > > I have a question. When the boss calls you into his office, shuts the door, and hands you a Christmas bonus check in a sealed envelop, do you open it there or just put it in your pocket? Now, my boss isn’t one of the owners, so it’s not his money he’s giving me. You take it back to your desk, open it inconspicuously, then a) rejoice at your good fortune, or b) mutter to yourself about your company’s stinginess. In my case, it’s usually b. Of course, we’re all pretty sure there _are_ no bonuses this year … ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/204 "2005-12-15T16:09:41Z")
**Facto** --see you DO have a nickname. I would wait until you are by yourself–don’t want to look too desperate, greedy or impatient…but that’s just me. And I guess that size 1 is NOT small. I was afraid to do 7–which is the way the scale goes? ``` --Rigby, the computer illiterate ``` ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/205 "2005-12-15T16:10:45Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > And I guess that size 1 is NOT small. I was afraid to do 7–which is the way the scale goes? Size 1 _is_ small–but I know that on my home laptop, size 1 looks no different because I have it set at such a small text size. Don’t worry–the small part is small on my screen. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/206 "2005-12-15T17:25:26Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Hey, when did I volunteer? \*\*Spatial \*\* dragged me into it! Darn that Spatial! _shakes fist_ Oh, I’m a crafty one alright. 🆒 And for my next trick, you’ll all wake up wondering where the traffic cones and ferrets came from. 😃 Yes, size 1 is small, size 7 is ginormous, and the part about the door switch looks properly small to me. Class Count: 3 down, 2 to go. After tonight, only one will remain. I’m so close I can taste it. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/207 "2005-12-15T17:45:26Z")
This is size one This is size seven Any questions? ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/208 "2005-12-15T17:47:58Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > You take it back to your desk, open it inconspicuously, then a) rejoice at your good fortune, or b) mutter to yourself about your company’s stinginess. > > In my case, it’s usually b. Of course, we’re all pretty sure there _are_ no bonuses this year … This year the bonus was bigger than one of my paychecks. And I was told that I’m getting a raise that will show up in the next or following paychecks. **riggs** thanks for the n’name. I’m sure it’ll grow on me. And as for your furnace, do you have a hidden switch somewhere that controls that too? ---
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/209 "2005-12-15T17:51:46Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Hey, when did I volunteer? \*\*Spatial \*\* dragged me into it! Darn that Spatial! _shakes fist_ Yeah, and this is chocolate and you’re a white chocolate kind of person. So I think now I have a good excuse not to make them on Saturday. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/210 "2005-12-15T17:56:07Z")
Hey! I still want to try them! ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/211 "2005-12-15T18:59:24Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > This is size one > > This is size seven > > Any questions? [Mae West] Where can I get me that lucky number?[/Mae West] Furnace guy came-d and went-ed. He couldn’t find the problem. It’s not much as problems go–there is a rattle sometimes (think of something softly hitting ductwork–it sounds like that). The furnace works fine. Second load of laundry done–by that, I mean clean and dry. The folding and putting away is the hardest part. ---
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/212 "2005-12-15T19:00:23Z")
> [@Spatial Rift 47](#): > > Hey! I still want to try them! 😃 I’ll see what I can do. Would you settle for fudge or other candy if I can’t get the molton chocolate thingies made? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/213 "2005-12-15T19:00:46Z")
> [@taxi78cab](#): > > Yeah, and this is chocolate and you’re a white chocolate kind of person. So I think now I have a good excuse not to make them on Saturday. 😃 “A white chocolate kind of person”, she says. Did anyone catch the sneer? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/214 "2005-12-15T19:02:31Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Furnace guy came-d and went-ed. He couldn’t find the problem. It’s not much as problems go–there is a rattle sometimes (think of something softly hitting ductwork–it sounds like that). The furnace works fine. Oh, I’ve got one of those noise-in-the-furnace problems too. No one can ever find anything and of course, when the fix-it guy is there, it doesn’t even make the noise. Yeah… that’s frustrating. I’m not insane and hearing noises, really! ---
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/215 "2005-12-15T19:04:57Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > “A white chocolate kind of person”, she says. Did anyone catch the sneer? 😉 It’s not really chocolate! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/216 "2005-12-15T19:18:29Z")
> [@taxi78cab](#): > > Oh, I’ve got one of those noise-in-the-furnace problems too. No one can ever find anything and of course, when the fix-it guy is there, it doesn’t even make the noise. Yeah… that’s frustrating. I’m not **insane and hearing noises** , really! Ya got any proof of that? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/217 "2005-12-15T19:36:44Z")
> [@taxi78cab](#): > > Oh, I’ve got one of those noise-in-the-furnace problems too. No one can ever find anything and of course, when the fix-it guy is there, it doesn’t even make the noise. Yeah… that’s frustrating. I’m not insane and hearing noises, really! Yep–he didn’t hear a thing. AND he looked at me funny. Someday they’ll come to take me away…heehee. I am thinking of going to grad school. Discuss. Oh-I need to take the GRE and I need 3 letters of reference (ha!), resume, app, and essay questions answered. It would be the Masters of Library Science program in Champaign, IL. the least challenging bit is the essay questions for me. Now, discuss. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/218 "2005-12-15T19:40:43Z")
Finally, a Google ad that fits the MMP: Humor Writing Workshops Work with a humor writing pro in acclaimed online workshops www… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/219 "2005-12-15T19:42:51Z")
> [@taxi78cab](#): > > It’s not really chocolate! 😃 Who said it was? But it’s white chocolatey goodness, yum! ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230/220 "2005-12-15T19:56:06Z")
> [@taxi78cab](#): > > 😃 > > I’ll see what I can do. Would you settle for fudge or other candy if I can’t get the molton chocolate thingies made? I’m always up for fudge. 😃 **eleanor** , I’m in the process of making myself acceptable to grad schools as well, albeit for physics. I just got my physics GRE score, and it’s not as high as I needed it to be, so the school I really want to go to, Waterloo (it’s in Ontario), is almost certainly out of reach for now. ☹ But, I’m not giving up. I’m going to take the test again in April, and I’m looking at some other potentially very good schools to either get my PhD there, or transfer from there to Waterloo. You probably only have to take the general GRE. It’s like the SATs round two. Not much to worry about at all, especially since they’re cutting down the vocab for next fall’s test. I wish you the best of luck getting in. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-as-serious-as-a-heart-attack/335230.md?page=12)