# MMP: Ask CP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [April 22, 2013, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371 "2013-04-22T02:33:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/21 "2013-04-22T12:17:12Z")
> [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](#): > > **FCM** , that’s pretty scary. Sounds like you need to call the doctor today. I wonder if it’s some form of sleep apnea… Yeah, based on my google-fu, that’s what I’m thinking also. And it looks like one of the easiest things to try is to sleep with a pillow wedge. I used to do that, and I guess it’d be a good idea to try it again. But from what I read, it would explain the potty trips in the middle of the night, the extremely dry mouth, and the constant feeling of fatigue, no matter how much sleep I think I’m getting. So today, my quest is a wedge. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/22 "2013-04-22T12:52:09Z")
**Mmmmoooooooooommmm** , cut that out! Dear CP, I recently had a man offer to do anything my heart desires for $100. Why was he so disappointed when I told him to paint my house? phouka ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/23 "2013-04-22T12:52:48Z")
> [@ScareyFaerie](#): > > Dear CP > > If **Doggio** has a blurf and I have a blurf, will this affect that natural order of things? Will it make a difference I have a blurf after eating bacon? Dear Scarey, That depends upon how you define “blurf”. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/24 "2013-04-22T12:54:05Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > Dear CP: > > If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a haf in a day and a half, how long would it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle? > > Which is closer, Duluth or by bus? Vunder, I strongly suggest that you speak with your Physician or Clergyman as quickly as possible. -CP ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/25 "2013-04-22T12:55:13Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > **Mmmmoooooooooommmm** , cut that out! > > Dear CP, > > I recently had a man offer to do anything my heart desires for $100. Why was he so disappointed when I told him to paint my house? > > phouka Dear phouka, This is an advice column, not stand up comedy. -CP ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/26 "2013-04-22T12:56:50Z")
> [@congodwarf](#): > > Dear CP, > > Why is an orange? > Sincerely, > Shortdrum Dear Short, Why not? -CP ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/27 "2013-04-22T13:18:19Z")
Dear CP: You just reminded me I forgot to post to my blog on Friday. Damn my sieve-like memory. Also, [this is how you wash a cat.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvMssEgp1ko&feature=share) Regards, Spaz > [@Spiderman](#): > > This was a really @#$%& weekend; at least until the boss of WGPTJ called this afternoon & asked if I wanted to get help him get high. I said, [absofrigin’](http://www.flickr.com/photos/74663312@N08/8669789113/in/photostream/lightbox/)[lutely](http://www.flickr.com/photos/74663312@N08/8670898266/in/photostream/lightbox/). > We were a flight of four, there was another group of six to our west. I looked to the north & saw Manhattan & to the south was Philly. Bee-you-tee-ful for first flight of the year! That looks like fun. I has an **envy**. **{{shortdrum}}** After years of IVIG, I hate throwing up. I’ll do everything I can to not do it. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/28 "2013-04-22T13:24:27Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > Dear CP: > You just reminded me I forgot to post to my blog on Friday. Damn my sieve-like memory. > > Also, [this is how you wash a cat.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvMssEgp1ko&feature=share) > > Regards, > Spaz The TV show Hoarders has nothing worse than that bathtub. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/29 "2013-04-22T13:35:30Z")
Dear Plant, What type of wine goes with roast cat? Red or white? Or should we serve beer? Blurf! ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/30 "2013-04-22T13:44:28Z")
Dear CP How do I fit all the Mumpers into my new one bedroom apartment? signed Cramped ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/31 "2013-04-22T13:55:23Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Dear Plant, > > What type of wine goes with roast cat? Red or white? Or should we serve beer? > > Blurf! Professor, When the [Friar’s Roast](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_Friars%27_Club) is on TV, I don’t believe they serve liquor. -CP ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/32 "2013-04-22T13:56:34Z")
Dear CP: Today is Earth Day. Where is the closest celebratory bonfire and pig roast? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/33 "2013-04-22T14:00:52Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > Dear CP > > How do I fit all the Mumpers into my new one bedroom apartment? > > signed > Cramped Dear Cramped, Smear everyone liberally (certainly not Conservatively) with Kosher **(U)** mayonnaise. -CP ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/34 "2013-04-22T14:05:05Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > Dear CP: > > Today is Earth Day. Where is the closest celebratory bonfire and pig roast? Dear VunderBob, Leesburg, Jawja. BYO Brussels sprouts cole slaw. -CP ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/35 "2013-04-22T14:07:08Z")
I think my remaining grandma has reached her pre-expiration date… the woman’s 99 so it isn’t exactly a surprise, but bleagh. Her own mother died in her early 90s; up until the previous year she’d still be a flutter of organization whenever she had visitors, a tiny tornado who got everybody set up just-so while never seeming to be giving orders. Then she started getting an infection after another and oops. Official COD “old age”, which back then was how they codified “didn’t have anything particularly deadly except having been born a darn long time ago”. A couple of weeks back, my aunt got to her mother’s and found her lying on the floor; Grandma couldn’t remember when had she fallen or how (the caretaker had left her in bed the previous night so we know it had been 16h at most). She was taking longer to heal than usual (then again, her usual used to be “click clack you’re healed”), has developed an ulceration on the elbow she hit, mastitis (on the other side, so it’s not directly related to the wound - SiL asked me specifically to check whether it was on the same side, in which case it would likely be bad care, or on the other, in which case it’s very bad news), and a sudden case of politeness which left me quite freaked out. Yesterday, instead of barking orders she was saying “could you please” and “thank you” and told me I was a superb cook when all I’d made was some polenta and boiled apple ☹ If she is indeed going I’m glad I happen to be nearby, both for her and for the rest of the gang, but it still sucks to see her get more bent and more weak every day. ---
**Author:** ![sangfroid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@sangfroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sangfroid)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/36 "2013-04-22T14:10:53Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Is this video on the web? By the love of all that is holy, I hope not. Mornin’ all. I must say, the **Plant** is holding court here most admirably. I sometimes have the urge to start one of those “Ask the..” threads, then realize just how hard it must be to answer everything that gets thrown your way, particularly considering these are, after all, Dopers. Oh, and bacon. no, really, bacon and home fries for morning meal today. Nice and crispy, both _as they should be_. ---
**Author:** ![peedin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peedin/32/14095_2.png) [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/37 "2013-04-22T14:12:45Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > Dear CP > > Andy fried up 32 slices of bacon. > Barney takes 3 slices to put on his cheeseburger. > Chuck takes 8 slices, and gives 4 of them to Mary. > Mary makes a BLT with hers, Mike eats 2 slices and gives half a slice to the dog. > If bacon comes 20 slices to the pound and a pound of bacon costs $4.17 > How much bacon does Andy have left? None, cuz I et the rest. I received notice that the grant I submitted to the state (first time EVAH grant writing, what a PITA) was awarded the maximum amount. W00T. Now I have $5,000 to buy books for the liberry. **Sticky** , hugs your little girl. I’m glad she’s still with you. Pizza for lunch. What a glorious day! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/38 "2013-04-22T14:14:48Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > Dear CP > > How do I fit all the Mumpers into my new one bedroom apartment? > > signed > Cramped First one, then another, then another… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/39 "2013-04-22T14:17:57Z")
> [@sangfroid](#): > > I must say, the **Plant** is holding court here most admirably. I sometimes have the urge to start one of those “Ask the..” threads, then realize just how hard it must be to answer everything that gets thrown your way, particularly considering these are, after all, Dopers. Plagiarism covers a multitude of sins. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/40 "2013-04-22T14:29:37Z")
I’m nervous to participate in this thread. I tried to do a web search for something in the Pittsburgh City Paper (abbreviated CP) and the results were ------------- not what I expected. Knoebels opens Saturday so I’m already in packing and dreaming more. Counting the hours until I can knock some part off the bumper cars. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/u2329Chp6IY/maxresdefault.jpg "Knoebels Bumper Cars Skooters Best Bumper Cars in the world!") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2329Chp6IY) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371.md?page=3)