# MMP: Ask CP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [April 22, 2013, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371 "2013-04-22T02:33:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/61 "2013-04-22T18:01:51Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Good thing this isn’t a life-or-death emergency. I got an appointment for next Weds… I dunno, I saw this problem on _Walking Dead._.. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/62 "2013-04-22T18:13:39Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > 3.14159 per square yard, divided by the number of guests, mutliplied by 1.14287. > I called Punxsutawney Phil, but all I heard was gunfire in the background. > Has anyone seen Rosie in the past few minutes? Square yards of what, the surface area of the dining room table? Knowing Punxsutawney, it was probably just one of the locals prepping dinner. I wouldn’t be alarmed. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/63 "2013-04-22T18:21:13Z")
Dear CP, Who wrote the Book of Love? Signed, Wondering We saw the touring production of **War Horse** last night, and, while the story is about as thin as can be (granted, it was from a novel geared at youth), the horse puppetry was absolutely amazing. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/64 "2013-04-22T19:04:23Z")
I am here but I am :mad: :mad: :mad: The title company that the buyer is using keeps coming up with ways to stall the process. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/65 "2013-04-22T19:12:55Z")
> [@freckafree](#): > > Dear CP, > > Who wrote the Book of Love? > > Signed, > Wondering While you’re at it, CP: Who put the bop in the bop shebop? The ram in the ramalama dingdong? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/66 "2013-04-22T19:13:21Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > I am here but I am :mad: :mad: :mad: The title company that the buyer is using keeps coming up with ways to stall the process. Buckthorn upon them! To explain: when Princess Pepperwinkle was in her tweens she learned that buckthorn was an element used in natural laxatives. Her mother was having troubles with some legal/business paperwork (as you are), so the Princess declaimed: “Buckthorn upon them!” to get them, er, moving. It won’t help, but it can’t hurt: “Buckthorn upon them!” ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/67 "2013-04-22T19:33:49Z")
Dear CP, Andy, Bobby and Chucky are traveling through the desert. Bobby and Chucky don’t like each other, but they really hate Andy. Bobby sneaks into Andys camp and puts poison in his water. Chucky sneaks into Andys camp and pours the water out. Andy dies 3 days later from heat exhaustion and dehydration. Bobby says Chucky killed Andy by dumping out his water. Chucky says he saved Andy by pouring out the poison. Which one will win the hand of Andys wife Ruby and live off Andy life savings in Tahoe? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/68 "2013-04-22T19:35:43Z")
Assembly complete! 😃 Here are the [tables](http://s72.photobucket.com/user/fairychatmom/media/P4220225_zps18facf57.jpg.html?sort=6&o=0). Here are the [swivel chairs](http://s72.photobucket.com/user/fairychatmom/media/p4220223_zps3d4b9473.jpg.html?sort=6&o=2) - they came without back cushions, but I swiped one from the glider to see how it felt. And here’s the [glider](http://s72.photobucket.com/user/fairychatmom/media/p4220224_zps330f1f42.jpg.html?sort=6&o=1)- it actually feels better without the back cushions. It’ll all be put out on the deck as soon as I scrub the railings - next week, I’m thinking. I need to make covers for them, too. And yes, that’s a Higgs stain in front of the glider - naturally, she did that after I shampooed the rugs last week. Stoopit dog. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/69 "2013-04-22T19:37:25Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > Which one will win the hand of Andys wife Ruby and live off Andy life savings in Tahoe? Silly \*\*sari \*\*- everyone knows Ruby will take her love to town… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/70 "2013-04-22T19:48:11Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > Dear CP, > Which one will win the hand of Andys wife Ruby and live off Andy life savings in Tahoe? Dear sahirrnee, Which ever one makes more money. Regards, CP ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/71 "2013-04-22T19:55:49Z")
Dear CP, Do you know the way to San Jose? Why do fools fall in love? Do you wanna dance? Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost over night? Signed, Musical Dindin shall be poke roast, baked sweet N.O.T., broccoli casserole and cornbread. YUM! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/72 "2013-04-22T20:09:54Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Got a quarter in change this morning. Because of a recent coin thread, I checked it out. It had something about Maryland on the back. But that’s not the odd thing. The odd thing was that George Washington looked younger than I remember. Must be a really old quarter, then. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/73 "2013-04-22T20:18:24Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Must be a really old quarter, then. 😃 😃 😃 😃 😃 😃 I really did LOL!!! ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/74 "2013-04-22T20:22:08Z")
I’m about ready to have a bare-knuckle brawl with my spine doc’s office. Somewhere in the several layers between me and the actual surgeon, someone put that I didn’t really want to proceed with doing anything about my back pain. I raised a fuss and they magically found an appointment for me to see him on Thursday, at which point I intend to set the record straight. I’ve been taking percocet every day since last Friday and I am in such a fog and have been nodding off at work. Yeah, I really want to live out the rest of my life with “pain management” rather than actually fixing the broken parts. ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/75 "2013-04-22T20:43:28Z")
Afternoon! I have been a bad mumper but in my defence travelling for work and then travelling to close on the house magically made the passed 2 weeks disappear. **rosie** I am glad you found an apartment. I belive the pointy stick may be in order for for the Title company. Eventfull couple of weeks - we closed on the house last Wednesday but only found out at 5PM the Friday before that it was going ahead. Packing crew will be here on Monday to pack us up, load on Wednesday then we hand in the keys and head south to Houston on May 2nd. We decided while the packing crew is there to put LibbyCat into the Deluxe Kitty Boarding so that she wasn’t as stressed out for those couple of days as she does not do well with strangers and we would have to lock her in the bathroom. She loves it there and they love her as well and I can watch her on the webcam. They also feed the super expensive luxury food as well so she gets spoilt rotten. Had a busy couple of weeks and the next couple will be as well. I also snuck in a birthday a couple of days ago although we aren’t celebrating till next weekend when **mr ems** gets back from Dad-sitting so his sister could have a vacation. Happy Monday! Dear CP, Why are shiny things so dist… Rgs, oooh Pretties! ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/76 "2013-04-22T20:45:18Z")
Dear CP, Why would Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout not take the garbage out? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/77 "2013-04-22T20:51:21Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Dear CP, > > Do you know the way to San Jose? > > Why do fools fall in love? > > Do you wanna dance? > > Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost over night? > > Signed, > Musical Dear Musical, [Surely.](https://maps.google.com/maps?hq=http://maps.google.com/help/maps/directions/driving/mapleft.kml&f=d&dirflg=d) Because they are dummies. Tough guys don’t dance. I usually don’t chew gum, but when I do, I don’t stick it on the bedpost. Regards, CP ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/78 "2013-04-22T20:54:56Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > Dear CP, > Why would Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout not take the garbage out? Child endangerment is a serious problem, Spiderman. I suggest that you turn yourself in to a law enforcement officer. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/79 "2013-04-22T21:01:31Z")
Dear CP, I write really weird stories where bad things happen. If most of the bad things are done to bad people, does that mean I won’t get sent to hell? I don’t want to go to hell, but this random handbasket showed up on my doorstep with a letter that burst into flames as soon as I read it. Signed Writerly ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/80 "2013-04-22T21:08:53Z")
> [@Silver\_Tyger](#): > > Dear CP, > > I write really weird stories where bad things happen. If most of the bad things are done to bad people, does that mean I won’t get sent to hell? I don’t want to go to hell, but this random handbasket showed up on my doorstep with a letter that burst into flames as soon as I read it. > > Signed > > Writerly Writerly, HP Lovecraft is not for everyone. And remember, things that we read may not be real, and certainly not things that we write. Regards, CP [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371.md?page=5)