# MMP: Ask CP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [April 22, 2013, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371 "2013-04-22T02:33:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/81 "2013-04-22T21:12:42Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Child endangerment is a serious problem, Spiderman. > I suggest that you turn yourself in to a law enforcement officer. Since when is screaming and shouting _by her parents_ child endangerment? She simply would not take the garbage out. ---
**Author:** ![tarragon918](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@tarragon918](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tarragon918)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/82 "2013-04-22T21:35:34Z")
Happy Monday all! You all have some really good imaginations, btw, I can’t even begin to think what I can ask **CP**! I’ll give it a shot, though. Dear **CP** : I am in need of my monthly natural foods fix, and can’t decide which store to visit: Whole Foods or Trader Joes…or maybe the Natural Food Co-op! Help please!! 🙂 Miss semi-vegetarian LOL I actually prefer TJ but will probably go to Whole Foods as they have a wider selection. It’s too bad that they are so expensive! The co-op is good but they are expensive as well. Why are the foods/things that are supposed to be good for you the most expensive?! Now that’s a really good question! **FCM** , definitely get that checked out. You might have to do a sleep study. There is a kind that you can do at home, it’s not too bad. Sending good thoughts again to you, **Rosie** that everything gets straightened out and back on track! Hugs all around to anyone in need. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/83 "2013-04-22T21:51:38Z")
**{{{gotti and DH}}}** y’all just have to catch a break soon! **rosie** want we should ship a Sri Lankan spider to the title company? Dindin is et. 'Twas good. I threw in some field peas with snaps just cause. I also have chikin sallit made. All this and I irked too. Irk from home is not too bad sometimes. Dear CP, Are you popular? Do you park in cars with boys at night? If you choke a Smurf what color does it turn? What’s the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup? Signed, I like to ask annoyin’ questions ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/84 "2013-04-22T21:52:25Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Writerly, > > HP Lovecraft is not for everyone. > And remember, things that we read may not be real, and certainly not things that we write. > > Regards, > > CP It was a nice basket though. Longaberger. Sold it for a couple hundred bucks. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/85 "2013-04-22T21:57:11Z")
Dear CP, I was told by some well meaning busy bodies that I would cause early labor if I continue to walk around and not laze around the house. Should I heed their warnings or continue to blow them off as I have been doing? (I am 34 weeks and counting!) Sincerely, Round and Ready ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/86 "2013-04-22T22:30:26Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > **rosie** want we should ship a Sri Lankan spider to the title company? Yes, please. Dear CP How do you get a fucked up bastard of a title company to face the facts that they are obligated to shell out this money? signed About-To-Go-Postal-On-Their-Asses ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/87 "2013-04-22T23:00:56Z")
Dear CP, Where can I find a box big enough to ship a Sri Lankan spider to a title company in Lawn Guylandt? Signed, Spider Shipper ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/88 "2013-04-22T23:01:03Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > Dear CP > > How do I fit all the Mumpers into my new one bedroom apartment? > > signed > Cramped Crisco party!😃 Dear **flytrap** , Should I chuck it all, and become a beach bum in Key West? sincerely, sick of overwork ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/89 "2013-04-22T23:29:40Z")
> [@dogbutler](#): > > Crisco party!😃 > > Dear **flytrap** , > > Should I chuck it all, and become a beach bum in Key West? > > sincerely, > sick of overwork Surely. Don’t take any money, you won’t need it. Regards, CP ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/90 "2013-04-22T23:31:15Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Dear CP, > > Where can I find a box big enough to ship a Sri Lankan spider to a title company in Lawn Guylandt? > > Signed, > > Spider Shipper Dear Spider Shipper, Boxes R Us. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/91 "2013-04-22T23:32:32Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > Dear CP > How do you get a fucked up bastard of a title company to face the facts that they are obligated to shell out this money? > signed About-To-Go-Postal-On-Their-Asses Dear About To, I do not give advice that is actionable. Sincerely, CP ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/92 "2013-04-22T23:36:15Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > Dear CP, > I was told by some well meaning busy bodies that I would cause early labor if I continue to walk around and not laze around the house. Should I heed their warnings or continue to blow them off as I have been doing? (I am 34 weeks and counting!) > > Sincerely, > Round and Ready Dear Round and Ready, I am an Advice Columnist, not Dr. House dispit the vicodin, but no bungie jumping. Sincerely, CP ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/93 "2013-04-22T23:37:34Z")
> [@Silver\_Tyger](#): > > It was a nice basket though. Longaberger. Sold it for a couple hundred bucks. Dear Silver, Good girl. Regards, CP This forum requires that you wait 60 seconds between posts. Please try again in 1 seconds. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/94 "2013-04-22T23:39:07Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Dear CP, > > Are you popular? > > Do you park in cars with boys at night? > > If you choke a Smurf what color does it turn? > > What’s the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup? > > Signed, > > I like to ask annoyin’ questions Dear Annoyin’, No. No. No. No. One question at a time, please. Regards, CP ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/95 "2013-04-22T23:40:48Z")
> [@tarragon918](#): > > Dear **CP** : > > I am in need of my monthly natural foods fix, and can’t decide which store to visit: Whole Foods or Trader Joes…or maybe the Natural Food Co-op! Help please!! 🙂 > > Miss semi-vegetarian Dear Semi, Whichever is less expensive. Regards, CP ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/96 "2013-04-22T23:47:23Z")
Ladies, Gentlemen and Swampy, I’ve eaten the vicodin and I’m waiting for the falafel to kick in. Have mercy for the rest of the evening. Regards, CP ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/97 "2013-04-22T23:49:19Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Dear Silver, > > Good girl. > > Regards, > CP I hit people who call me ‘girl’. So _smack!_ We’re getting all the annoying calls today. The guy in the office next to me is avoiding somebody about something and they’ve called three times. The second time it was a different number but they mispronounced his name in the same way. Got a call of someone wanting to talk to the company President, using his first name which he never uses. He’s going to call back tomorrow and I’ll again not transfer him. We have some magazine company that’s trying to get a told of Bob. I actually keep transferring them because he’s never in his office. Apparently they don’t leave messages. I’m really inclined to ask them how long they’ll call. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/98 "2013-04-22T23:56:57Z")
[Shri Lankan spiders](http://espacepourlavie.ca/sites/espacepourlavie.ca/files/styles/gal-photo-large/public/poecilotheria-regalis1-31661-rl_0.jpg?itok=q4mZ5kCZ) Jesus Christ. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/99 "2013-04-23T00:05:41Z")
> [@Silver\_Tyger](#): > > Got a call of someone wanting to talk to the company President, using his first name which he never uses. He’s going to call back tomorrow and I’ll again not transfer him. Good Girl! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/100 "2013-04-23T00:10:08Z")
Dear CP, Why so much cat hatred in the beginning of this thread? :mad: Also: do I get offended too easily? 😉 Love, Midget [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371.md?page=6)