# MMP: Ask CP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [April 22, 2013, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371 "2013-04-22T02:33:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/101 "2013-04-23T00:27:19Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > Dear CP, > > Why so much cat hatred in the beginning of this thread? :mad: > > Also: do I get offended too easily? šŸ˜‰ > > Love, > > Midget Dear Midget, Oh wow, the rush, the rush! Sorry. Too much falafel. Simple minded and mean people enjoy making jokes about dead cats. No, you are not offended too easily, but sneak up on them with a baseball bat or high heeled shoe. Regards, CP ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/102 "2013-04-23T00:40:10Z")
Dear CP: [Is this love?](http://archive.org/details/IsThisLove) That Iā€™m feeling? Is this the love that Iā€™ve been searching for? Could this be love? Or am I dreaming? This must be love. 'Cause itā€™s really got a hold on me. Hold on me, [Albino Serpent](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujnH4yNqL8E) Follow-up question: Who takes longer to feather their hair in the morning, the male or the female? The second link is key to the answer. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/103 "2013-04-23T00:40:21Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Dear Midget, > > Oh wow, the rush, the rush! > Sorry. > Too much falafel. > Simple minded and mean people enjoy making jokes about dead cats. > No, you are not offended too easily, but sneak up on them with a baseball bat or high heeled shoe. > Regards, > CP Dead cats, eh? My family loves cats, but we were still much amused when we learned that our neighbour was keeping dead cats in her freezer :eek:. Her cat and her brotherā€™s cat died, and she was keeping them in the freezer until the weather was suitable for the cats to be buried at her cottage. She never kept any food in the freezer. She apparently bought the freezer just for the dead cats. My family got a laugh out of that. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/104 "2013-04-23T00:51:50Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > Dear CP: > > [Is this love?](http://archive.org/details/IsThisLove) That Iā€™m feeling? Is this the love that Iā€™ve been searching for? Could this be love? Or am I dreaming? This must be love. 'Cause itā€™s really got a hold on me. > > Hold on me, > > [Albino Serpent](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujnH4yNqL8E) > > Follow-up question: Who takes longer to feather their hair in the morning, the male or the female? The second link is key to the answer. Dear Spaz, ā€œI donā€™t like spiders and snakes Thatā€™s not the way to love me, you foolā€ Swampy is noted in the Guinness Book of World Records as taking longest to feather his hair, so the answer is male. Regards, CP ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/105 "2013-04-23T01:27:09Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > She never kept any food in the freezer. She apparently bought the freezer just for the dead cats. > > My family got a laugh out of that. My brother and a mutual friend were at Fryā€™s and happened to be walking through the appliance section when they came across the chest freezers. They looked at the one in front of them and both said, at the same time, ā€œYou know, Iā€™ve been thinking of taking up serial killing.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Buttercup\_Smith](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buttercup_smith/32/473_2.png) [@Buttercup\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buttercup_Smith)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/106 "2013-04-23T02:07:45Z")
Howdy all. Havenā€™t read much except **mumpfest at Rosies** Will be back. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/107 "2013-04-23T03:39:29Z")
MMP fest at Rosieā€™s? It will go viral, Kosher mayonnaise not withstanding. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/108 "2013-04-23T10:08:14Z")
Good Morninā€™ Yā€™all! Up and caffienatinā€™. _YAWN_ 'Tis 54 Amurrkin out with a predicted high of 79 for the day. Nice day but Iā€™ll be at irk as usual. Dear CP, What is kosher mayonnaise and why is it viral? Signed, Afraid of viral mayo Ya know, when I get up in the morninā€™ my hair does look like a buncha feathers, so I guess it takes me about eight hours to feather my hair. šŸ˜ƒ Now I need more caffiene and rumbly tummy wants to be fed. Then, alas, irk purtification must commence. Happy Tuesday Yā€™all! ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/109 "2013-04-23T10:29:27Z")
Blurf ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/110 "2013-04-23T10:29:46Z")
\*\*swampy \*\*- since when to you have enough hair to look feathery? Or are you talking about your leg hairā€¦ šŸ˜› \*\*Midget \*\*- the concept of a cat freezer is too disturbing to contemplate. :eek: Good morning. I was having such a good nightā€™s sleep till about 2:30 when a certain idiot feline tried to break into one of the guest rooms. I think Iā€™m going to put spikes on the door handles so he quits that trick. I managed to get him to settle down, but he was at it again at 4, and when \*\*FCD \*\*got up at 5 to shower, I was in a dream that my right leg was full of plastic and glass shrapnel, the girl who was going to remove it for me disappeared, and for some reason a young Chuck Norris was there. \*NOT \*the way I want to start the day. Itā€™s mid 40s right now and weā€™re supposed to be sunny and low 60s today. Iā€™ve got to plant today, since I blew it off yesterday. So Iā€™ll probably put on a sweat suit and brave the chill. I need to get it all done before Firday since weā€™re going out of town, and I hope I can get the side hill done today, and deal with the front tomorrow. We shall see. I need breakfast - caffeine ainā€™t gonna do it. Maybe a bowl of cereal? _hmmmmmmm_ Happy Tuesday! ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/111 "2013-04-23T10:43:37Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > \*\*Midget \*\*- the concept of a cat freezer is too disturbing to contemplate. :eek: Even more disturbing is a freezer full of frozen chests. :eek: Blurf. Last nightā€™s weird dream was that VWifeā€™s neurological issues were finally diagnosed, and instead of MS or something similar, all symptoms were traced back to her very real clinical drug addictions. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![sangfroid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@sangfroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sangfroid)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/112 "2013-04-23T11:13:26Z")
Morning, all. Phrases like ā€œcats in the freezerā€ (wasnā€™t that a dreary song from the seventies, BTW?) always makes me wonder _in what position_ they were frozen. Not sure why, but curled up is most definitely _not_ the same as copter-cat shape, from an aesthetic standpoint. Interesting neighbor, at any rate. Chilly this morning here - in the thirties F. Had to light a small fire to push out the chill. Tough time of year; it will be pleasant and in the high fifties later, but early mornings can be quite nippy until that nice April sunshine drives the cold away. Happy Tuesday, everyone. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/113 "2013-04-23T11:27:44Z")
No April sunshine here yet - in fact, the temp has dropped a degree, dammit! :mad: I wish weā€™d bought another load of pellets when we ran out a month ago - I hate using the furnace. The pellet stove makes it so much warmer in here. Oh wellā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/114 "2013-04-23T11:37:16Z")
Happy St Georgeā€™s Day, MMP! Today is apparently the day when we celebrate all things English, not to mention Mr Shakespeareā€™s birthday. And my friend Karenā€™s birthday. And my friend Julieā€™s son Adam who is 18 today. See? Lots of things to celebrate! I, however, will be celebrating quietly today by drinking tea and poking academics with a sharp pointy stick. They are not telling me what I need to know, thus I will resort to timetabling their lectures next year wherever the pointy stick points and they can scream and shout afterwards if they want to. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/115 "2013-04-23T11:39:29Z")
Actually itā€™s my back hair that gets all feathery. šŸ˜› I am at irk. Ick and blurf. ---
**Author:** ![Jynxster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d07c76/32.png) [@Jynxster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jynxster)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/116 "2013-04-23T11:46:46Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > [Shri Lankan spiders](http://espacepourlavie.ca/sites/espacepourlavie.ca/files/styles/gal-photo-large/public/poecilotheria-regalis1-31661-rl_0.jpg?itok=q4mZ5kCZ) > Jesus Christ. Mustā€¦notā€¦clickā€¦link\*ā€¦\\* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Dear CP, Why did I do that? Sincerly, Squicked Out ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/117 "2013-04-23T12:07:26Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Actually itā€™s my back hair that gets all feathery. šŸ˜› Yeah, that was my first guess, but I was trying to be nice. šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/118 "2013-04-23T12:21:40Z")
Dear CP, Why am I just now checking in to the MMP? How did I go about skipping it yesterday? Sincerely, **$2.99** P.S. I hope you all are doing great and I love you all as much as a breatharian loves secretly sneaking a bag of McDonaldā€™s for lunch. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/119 "2013-04-23T12:28:05Z")
Mawnin all and happy Tuesday I haz blurf Will be back **Jim** ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371/120 "2013-04-23T12:53:27Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > No April sunshine here yet - in fact, the temp has dropped a degree, dammit! :mad: Console yourself by considering the riff-raff that are not present. šŸ™‚ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mmp-ask-cp/656371.md?page=7)