# Moderation of inappropriate sexual commentary **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [May 6, 2013, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626 "2013-05-06T15:55:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/281 "2013-05-07T01:07:00Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > I think that’s by design. Let’s have all these fuzzy rules out there so, they can enforce them at when. While I’m not a fan of the types of posts that people have objected to, and have never made one along those lines, AND think this board would be better without them, I’m reluctant to institute for fuzzy rules for the reasons you mention. It seems to me that one need to post as if he’s in the middle of dance circle of unshaven women from Mill Valley or Bolinas and think, “would any of _them_ be offended”? Or possibly, “would the Mods think that any of them would be offended?” It seems like you have to err on the side of is there a woman anyone there would be offended. > > Seems like some posters want to have it both ways: they want to enjoy a posting environment that is like the circle of friends they have in real life, while depriving others of that same experience. These posters need to remind themselves as to why they have the friends they do, and not others. You guys get each other. Your sensibilities are the same. The people you are not friends with, probably bot so much. As I’ve said, I don’t even like the posts in question, but there is a larger issue that is more important. And that is, why should one group be able to define “funny” or “offensive” for everyone else. And if an attempt at a sexual or sexist joke is not funny, is it automatically offensive? Obviously quite a few posters find the posts in question to be funny, otherwise it wouldn’t be an issue. > > So, we’re stuck with the imaginary dance circle of the Sisterhood of the Earth and trying to figure out how they will respond to a joke or _bon mot_. If it passes that litmus test it’s probably fine for the members on The Dope. But, hey, you never know. Yes, yes. It could be this wholly fabricated and fantastical conspiracy of pro-woman you’ve constructed or it could be that people will get a mod note and told to knock it off when things go off the rails. OMG A MOD NOTE. Somebody save us from the Femanazis ☹ ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/282 "2013-05-07T01:12:09Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > TPTB want some men and women to stop making juvenile jokes about the other sex. They (and some members) believe this can be accomplished by passing laws. Why not, it’s worked so well in society at large. You know what? It actually has. We passed laws against sexual discrimination and sexual harassment, and nowadays people think twice before making sexually offensive comments at work. It doesn’t work perfectly, of course, but once a society makes it clear that certain behavior isn’t legal, it starts being less socially acceptable. No one wants to make this a humorless place, but there’s a difference between making light-hearted remarks in a thread and making it impossible for anyone to have a discussion about, say, yeast infections. ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/283 "2013-05-07T01:12:53Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Yes, yes. It could be this wholly fabricated and fantastical conspiracy of pro-woman you’ve constructed or it could be that people will get a mod note and told to knock it off when things go off the rails. OMG A MOD NOTE. Somebody save us from the Femanazis ☹ Let me help you out. The discussion is not about how bad it might be to get a Mod note or warning, it’s about what the rules should or should not be that would fairly generate the aforementioned. Two different things. Glad I could clear that up for you. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/284 "2013-05-07T01:13:25Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > I agree wholeheartedly, but that’s a problem with jokes and one-liners thrown out in and thread, in any forum. Yeah, that’s sort of the point of a “serious” forum, but I’ll admit the idea is a bit of a stretch. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/285 "2013-05-07T01:13:48Z")
_Thinks_: _When will **Munch** ’s wish, “Let’s all just calm down…”, come true?_ ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/286 "2013-05-07T01:15:38Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > Again, this is not something I do. But jokes and bon mots—or more accurately, _attempts_ at them—are part and parcel to this board. And every forum. I rarely find _any_ of them funny. But you know what, big deal? Others do. Those posters themselves to start with. If a particular poster does so repeatedly, he risks his own reputation and done to excess, there are already rules to deal with that. Why does one flavor of posts merit this extra protection? Okay, so let’s put forth a few scenarios. Which ones are appropriate moments for jokes and bon mots to you? [ul] [li]An announcement of someone’s death[/li][li]An inquiry about a product[/li][li]An inquiry about a male-specific product[/li][li]An inquiry about a female-specific product[/li][li]A news item that might include nudity but no sexual behavior[/li][li]Cancer of an area commonly known to be a “sexual” area (breasts, genitals, etc.)[/li][li]A thread asking for input re: a medical condition[/li][/ul] Some posters have decided that no thread in MPSIMS is complete without some joke or bon mot-- at least the ones where we’re not doing it out of respect for the dead. I know that occasionally, folks can be really obtuse, but I do have to question one’s ability to deal with social situations if one can’t decide that it might be inappropriate to come in with a one-liner on certain threads. This isn’t about women stomping on your right to be whatever it is you think you want to represent, but people being able to speak in a forum without being dismissed as hysterical, histrionic or poorly informed on a topic. I’d like to occasionally talk about things that might inspire some joking without a topic getting derailed; because of an increasing number of folks who are boneheaded about when and where to be jokers, I’ve been really reluctant to talk about certain things involving my own anatomy. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/287 "2013-05-07T01:17:31Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > Who made you the SDMB content censor? > > Why would you think your opinion is so important that you get to decide for everyone what is acceptable? > > Did Ed personally call you up and ask your opinion? > > Did we miss an announcement? I think you did miss an announcement. Check the OP. Happens that announcement pleases me, aligns pretty well with my opinion. No, I’m not the SDMB content censor, and if you think that’s relevant, well, that’s your personal issue. It’s laughably off-base and irrelevant, though. And no, my opinion isn’t so important. Nor is yours. But I’m happy with this change, and I’d like to see it go further, and I’ll argue for it, even if you and several other people think it’s a devastating rebuttal to ask to see my badge every time I argue in defense of the change. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/288 "2013-05-07T01:17:54Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > Let me help you out. The discussion is not about how bad it might be to get a Mod note or warning, it’s about what the rules should or should not be that would fairly generate the aforementioned. Two different things. > > Glad I could clear that up for you. Well now that I have your completely unbiased and not at all paranoid theory on it perhaps I can bemoan the hell this will bring down on JOKES ON THE DURP and join in the wailing and gnashing of teeth? Gosh you’re helpful! \*ETA: I forgot to add Sisterhood of the Earth, Femanists, delicate ladies, fainting flowers, small minority and all of the other bugaboos to my post. YaY! ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/289 "2013-05-07T01:20:54Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > Yeah, that’s sort of the point of a “serious” forum, but I’ll admit the idea is a bit of a stretch. I’m also surprised that when some people feels the need to have a serious discussion about a serious woman’s issue that they post it not in General Questions or Great Debates, but in \*\*Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/290 "2013-05-07T01:21:39Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > TPTB want some men and women to stop making juvenile jokes about the other sex. They (and some members) believe this can be accomplished by passing laws. Why not, it’s worked so well in society at large. Many, including myself, seemed to believe that the previously existing rules were adequate. Unfortunately, when they were enforced under the “Dom’t be a jerk.” dictum, we ended up going round and round, because others wanted things more codified, until we found ourselves here. So, what then? ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/291 "2013-05-07T01:23:45Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > I’m also surprised that when some people feels the need to have a serious discussion about a serious woman’s issue that they post it not in General Questions or Great Debates, but in \*\*Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share. \*\* Just like those jovial and knee slapping death notices and “My child has \_\_\_\_ disease” threads? PS: The ladies topics are usually in IMHO to get opinions. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/292 "2013-05-07T01:24:07Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > I’m also surprised that when some people feels the need to have a serious discussion about a serious woman’s issue that they post it not in General Questions or Great Debates, but in \*\*Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share. \*\* True. That’s what I’ve been saying about MPSIMS. If you post there, you should expect jokes. Sometimes, they might be offensive because a lot of people find that type of joke funny. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/293 "2013-05-07T01:24:28Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > Oh my god. Just stop. Stop. All of you. > The issue is not, nor was it ever, “jokes”. It was never even “jokes of a sexual nature”. Nor was it “anything of a sexual nature”. Including threadshits of a sexual nature and being a jerk of a sexual nature under “items to be moderated” is not a departure from the rules of “don’t threadshit” and “don’t be a jerk”, we just highlighted the fact that they were commonly happening in a manner that was directed at women in the most offensive way possible for the purpose of being offensive toward women and nothing else. **I know some of you are all totally getting off by characterizing the people who brought up the initial complaint as shrill hysterical harpies, puritans of the highest order** who have our fainting couches prepared for “smart assed remarks regarding female genitalia” or the phrase “penis ensues”. Stop. If you are too dense to realize that then perhaps the internet is not the right place for you to be having discussions. **Bolding mine** LOL. Your long diatribe leads us to believe you’re certainly NONE of those things. Good job. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/294 "2013-05-07T01:24:52Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > I’m also surprised that when some people feels the need to have a serious discussion about a serious woman’s issue that they post it not in General Questions or Great Debates, but in \*\*Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share. \*\* Serious posts/questions can be posted anywhere. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/295 "2013-05-07T01:24:55Z")
> [@InternetLegend](#): > > You know what? It actually has. We passed laws against sexual discrimination and sexual harassment, and nowadays people think twice before making sexually offensive comments at work. It doesn’t work perfectly, of course, but once a society makes it clear that certain behavior isn’t legal, it starts being less socially acceptable. > > No one wants to make this a humorless place, but there’s a difference between making light-hearted remarks in a thread and making it impossible for anyone to have a discussion about, say, yeast infections. very good point, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/296 "2013-05-07T01:26:07Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > I’m also surprised that when some people feels the need to have a serious discussion about a serious woman’s issue that they post it not in General Questions or Great Debates, but in \*\*Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share. \*\* If you feel the need to discuss body issues about yourself, is that really something for Great Debates? I also understand that General Questions are for factual answers only, right? That only leaves MPSIMS and IMHO and what if you’re not trying to solicit opinions so much as aiming for support? ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/297 "2013-05-07T01:26:21Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > I’m also surprised that when some people feels the need to have a serious discussion about a serious woman’s issue that they post it not in General Questions or Great Debates, but in \*\*Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share. \*\* Well, the thing is, something can be serious and not need factual clarification (GQ) or require a debate (GD). Things can be mundane and the OP may need to share, but it doesn’t have to match up on all these elements in order to be relevant or preferably posted in MPSIMS. It’s a catch-all for “I don’t need an opinion, but I want to talk about this without it being a debate or a situation where I need a factual answer” topics because “When People Die or Have Serious Problems” would be a somewhat pointless forum distinction. ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/298 "2013-05-07T01:26:24Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > I think that’s by design. Let’s have all these fuzzy rules out there so, they can enforce them at when. While I’m not a fan of the types of posts that people have objected to, and have never made one along those lines, AND think this board would be better without them, I’m reluctant to institute for fuzzy rules for the reasons you mention. It seems to me that one need to post as if he’s in the middle of dance circle of unshaven women from Mill Valley or Bolinas and think, “would any of _them_ be offended”? Or possibly, “would the Mods think that any of them would be offended?” It seems like you have to err on the side of is there a woman anyone there would be offended. > > Seems like some posters want to have it both ways: they want to enjoy a posting environment that is like the circle of friends they have in real life, while depriving others of that same experience. These posters need to remind themselves as to why they have the friends they do, and not others. You guys get each other. Your sensibilities are the same. The people you are not friends with, probably bot so much. As I’ve said, I don’t even like the posts in question, but there is a larger issue that is more important. And that is, why should one group be able to define “funny” or “offensive” for everyone else. And if an attempt at a sexual or sexist joke is not funny, is it automatically offensive? Obviously quite a few posters find the posts in question to be funny, otherwise it wouldn’t be an issue. > > So, we’re stuck with the imaginary dance circle of the Sisterhood of the Earth and trying to figure out how they will respond to a joke or _bon mot_. If it passes that litmus test it’s probably fine for the members on The Dope. But, hey, you never know. I’d have given this screed more style points if you had worked in more code phrases like “bra burner.” Context, context, context is everything here and always has been. And that includes postings that are found to be humorous, postings that only a few people find humorous, and postings that only the poster finds humorous. Thank you for reminding us that women hold up half the sky – even with hairy legs. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/299 "2013-05-07T01:26:47Z")
People are spinning elaborate scenarios about what’s going to happen, what these new guidelines mean. Instead of getting all Chicken Little about it, why not see what happens? It’s possible none of these scenarios will come true. Remember, if you choose to post on a moderated board, you have to accept that the moderators have the power to set standards of behavior. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/300 "2013-05-07T01:28:28Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I think you did miss an announcement. Check the OP. Happens that announcement pleases me, aligns pretty well with my opinion. > > No, I’m not the SDMB content censor, and if you think that’s relevant, well, that’s your personal issue. It’s laughably off-base and irrelevant, though. And no, my opinion isn’t so important. Nor is yours. > > But I’m happy with this change, and I’d like to see it go further, and I’ll argue for it, even if you and several other people think it’s a devastating rebuttal to ask to see my badge every time I argue in defense of the change. You think the OP had anything to say about this quote of yours? > [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > If you can’t think of a joke to make without being gross, try a different board > [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > And no, my opinion isn’t so important. Then why did you tell everyone that disagrees with your opinion of gross humor to use a different board? One the one hand you think your opinion is important enough to dictate where people post and at the same time you think your opinion is not that important. It seems like the problem you are having is recognizing that different people can have different opinions, and just leave it at that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626.md?page=16)