# Moderation of inappropriate sexual commentary **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [May 6, 2013, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626 "2013-05-06T15:55:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/361 "2013-05-07T03:54:28Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Yeah, there’s a real undercurrent coming from one side of this debate that’s a little over-the-top, disturbing and IMO out-of-line here. A few posters are convinced that the men here who post dirty/sexual/juvenile humor are either: > > 1. Sexual assailants > 2. Using dirty jokes posts for masturbation fodder > 3. Perverts > 4. Defenders of such behavior > > How is this acceptable? How is it \*not \*okay to use language that lumps a group of women together with negative language (“sluts,” “hysterical,” “asking for it,” etc.) but it’s apparently ok to lump a group of men together by accusing them of, among other things, sexual assault? > > How is it okay to refer to actual posters here as “obnoxious douchebags” and sexual assailants, but supposedly under the new guidelines it would be against the rules to actually refer to a group of offended women as “shrill hysterical harpies” or “feminazis” (terms [\*\*ladyfoxyfyre \*\* brought into this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16265011&postcount=263)). > > That being said, I agree that certain “pics”-type posts need to go. I think you’ve missed the point. There isn’t one standard for men and a different one for women. It’s the same standard, except that in the real world only men seem to be breaking it. If women break it, they’ll be treated the same way. If you disagree and think that some women are causing the same problem as some men are, then I’ll ask you to provide some evidence. Go to enginerd’s post and read the five examples given. Now find five similar examples where people were talking about some serious subject and a female poster cam into post a sex joke. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/362 "2013-05-07T03:55:59Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > Actually, after looking through those it seems that this “problem” is rather minor. The threads all carried on quite well despite the innappropriate jokes that were made. In fact, you see a stupid joke or two in the beginning and then that’s all. The last one you link too has stupid jokes at 7, 9, 12, and then they’re finished. No etc… > > Not trying to defend those particular posts because they were jerkish. But, if that’s the best example we’ve got I’m not impressed. I mean as others have pointed out, there are other groups on these forums that get it much worse. I.e. Christians and conservatives. This does seem to be a solution looking for a problem. But the fact that Enginerd was able to find five different examples shows it’s more than just isolated incidents. You’ve conceded it’s jerkish behavior. So why should it be ignored? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/363 "2013-05-07T03:58:23Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Those examples fail to address any of my questions or concerns as expressed in this thread. It’s been a long thread. Could you be more specific with what your questions and concerns were? ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/364 "2013-05-07T04:04:45Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I think you’ve missed the point. There isn’t one standard for men and a different one for women. It’s the same standard, except that in the real world only men seem to be breaking it. If women break it, they’ll be treated the same way. > > If you disagree and think that some women are causing the same problem as some men are, then I’ll ask you to provide some evidence. Go to enginerd’s post and read the five examples given. Now find five similar examples where people were talking about some serious subject and a female poster cam into post a sex joke. I think you might have misunderstood **Happy Lendervedder’s** post and thought he was talking about sex jokes. When I read his post, I see a completely different point that has to do with basically calling groups of people names. You may want to go back and re-read the post you responded to and see if you get a different understanding. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/365 "2013-05-07T04:06:35Z")
> [@Enginerd](#): > > Cancer? No. But serious questions - including medical issues - do elicit that response. One of those was brought up a few times in earlier discussions of this issue: the OP of [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=680782) posted a serious question, described in decidedly non-lascivious terms, about her breasts. That thread got to post 5 before there was a stupid comment. > > Search for “boobs” in thread titles for more examples. In GQ, it’s the first response (admittedly not the best example, but c’mon - the first response in GQ?). Same thing for a thread about breast reduction surgery. Effects of weight loss on breasts? Post 6. Back pain and discomfort? Post 7… 9… 12, etc.. All those OPs asked honest, non-sexual, serious questions, and they all got Beavis and Butthead going, “huh huh… you said boobs.” In order of appearance: 2013 2009 2007 2007 2007 Clearly a frequent and recent issue ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/366 "2013-05-07T04:07:07Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > But the fact that Enginerd was able to find five different examples shows it’s more than just isolated incidents. You’ve conceded it’s jerkish behavior. So why should it be ignored? It shouldn’t. But, 5 posts? That’s not very many considering how many thousands of posts are made here daily. Add to that, the remarks were mostly ignored and the conversations carried on without a problem. I’m sure there’s more examples that could be brought up too. It just seems based on those examples that this is not such a big issue as everyone is making it out to be. I’d consider that a good thing and ISTM that we may hardly notice much of a difference after this whole issue settles. ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/367 "2013-05-07T04:09:55Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > Actually, after looking through those it seems that this “problem” is rather minor. The threads all carried on quite well despite the innappropriate jokes that were made. In fact, you see a stupid joke or two in the beginning and then that’s all. The last one you link too has stupid jokes at 7, 9, 12, and then they’re finished. No etc… > > Not trying to defend those particular posts because they were jerkish. But, if that’s the best example we’ve got I’m not impressed. I mean as others have pointed out, there are other groups on these forums that get it much worse. I.e. Christians and conservatives. This does seem to be a solution looking for a problem. Sure, those threads continued, but they probably had fewer posters than there would have been in the absence of the stupid jokes. And knowing that threads like that bring stupid and offensive jokes also discourage people from posting threads when they could really use some advice or support. Juvenile crap like the posts in those threads doesn’t benefit anybody, and makes the board a less useful and supportive place. ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/368 "2013-05-07T04:10:59Z")
It took me ten minutes to find those threads, and four of them were spent waiting for the search engine. All I did was search for threads with “boobs” in the title, and then opened anything that looked like it was serious. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/369 "2013-05-07T04:11:00Z")
I agree. That is a good point. Perhaps, this is common in all those types of threads. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/370 "2013-05-07T04:11:10Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > No. They haven’t. > > There’s two types of mocking: > > 1. Popehattie McNopants. That’s fine. Also calling her crucifix-crotch or whatever, also making jokes about how stupid she is. That kind of mockery did not get moderated, and I’ve seen nothing to suggest that it’d get moderated again. > 2. Fantasizing about performing sexual acts on her. That’s what got moderated and has been confirmed would be moderated again. > > This distinction is lost in the rules drawn up in the OP, though. As far as I can tell, if you keep your sexual fantasies, even joking ones, out of threads that aren’t about your sexual fantasies, you’ll be fine. OK, I just went back and looked at that thread. Here are the posts called out by Twicks in post 41, I skimmed up to about post 60 or so, I guess there might be something really bad in the last 30 posts or so, if so feel free to bring it up Quote: Originally Posted by Reyemile View Post Pics or it didn’t happen. **Pretty standard comment, not suggesting rape in any way shape or form. (if this does suggest rape we have some serious issues with kitten threads)** Quote: Originally Posted by EMCEE\_98 View Post Get some licks on that crucifix! **Again considering the condition of the young ladies [del]pubic[/del] public hair, not unexpected. Suggesting rape? Possibly, but not in my mind. If you add in the next two comments I feel fairly safe in saying that this was not a call to rape.** That’s one lewd rood. **OK, I had to look up the word rood. Pretty much a statement of fact, in that I would bet the Catholic Bishop would agree with this statement. Not a suggestion of rape IMHO** That’s her cross to “bare.” **A straight up pun.** Quote: Originally Posted by kayaker View Post Indecent exposure? Having seen a few pics, I’d call her decent. Or better. **Again a pun of sorts about her looks, not necessarily sexual.** Quote: Originally Posted by Boyo Jim View Post Punishment? Naked from the waist down? I’m thinking … spanking. “Oh, you’ve been a bad girl, a very bad girl!” \*\*OK, this is probably the comment that got some people’s underwear in a wad. I would like to point out that bare bottom spanking has been a meme among little kids since before I was born, and I predate the internet by quite a bit. Juvenile hell yes, a suggestion of a want to rape? I doubt it. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/371 "2013-05-07T04:15:46Z")
See, I agree with **Rick.** I think that’s the kind of “over”-modding people don’t want to see. Those jokes are funny. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/372 "2013-05-07T04:20:04Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > It is unsurprising that someone who is in the majority opinion would favor “judgement calls”. :rolleyes: I thought he was in the minority opinion. > [@magellan01](#): > > But can one really be surprised that their important discussion (to them) about their body might be peppered with asides and wisecracking when they chose to post not in Great Debates or General Questions, but in\*\* Mundane Pointless Stuff\*\* I Must Share? Again, how can you get _support_ in General Questions or Great Debates? If that’s all you’re after, it’ll only get moved (right?) shortly after posting it. There’s really no other places for it to go, and like someone else said, that’s where other important life events (deaths, weddings, births, serious illnesses, job issues) are placed. Is it the fault of the members that it is _called_ something trivial sounding? > [@panaccione](#): > > Actually, after looking through those it seems that this “problem” is rather minor. The threads all carried on quite well despite the innappropriate jokes that were made. In fact, you see a stupid joke or two in the beginning and then that’s all. The last one you link too has stupid jokes at 7, 9, 12, and then they’re finished. No etc… > > Not trying to defend those particular posts because they were jerkish. But, if that’s the best example we’ve got I’m not impressed. I mean as others have pointed out, there are other groups on these forums that get it much worse. I.e. Christians and conservatives. This does seem to be a solution looking for a problem. They’re minor _to you_ because you don’t have to deal with that sort of stuff all the time. And of course the women ignored them. Before now, what else was to be done about such “minor” “jokes”? ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/373 "2013-05-07T04:22:26Z")
> [@Tequila\_Party](#): > > They’re minor _to you_ because you don’t have to deal with that sort of stuff all the time. And of course the women ignored them. Before now, what else was to be done about such “minor” “jokes”? Report them. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/374 "2013-05-07T04:23:34Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > Actually, after looking through those it seems that this “problem” is rather minor. The threads all carried on quite well despite the innappropriate jokes that were made. In fact, you see a stupid joke or two in the beginning and then that’s all. The last one you link too has stupid jokes at 7, 9, 12, and then they’re finished. No etc… > > Not trying to defend those particular posts because they were jerkish. But, if that’s the best example we’ve got I’m not impressed. I mean as others have pointed out, there are other groups on these forums that get it much worse. I.e. Christians and conservatives. This does seem to be a solution looking for a problem. Except those are just some examples. These kinds of threads happen every single time. It gets seriously annoying after awhile. So to say, “suck it up, ladies, it’s not THAT big of a deal” misses the point. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/375 "2013-05-07T04:26:40Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Except those are just some examples. These kinds of threads happen every single time. It gets seriously annoying after awhile. So to say, “suck it up, ladies, it’s not THAT big of a deal” misses the point. see posts 368 and 369 ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/376 "2013-05-07T04:30:25Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I think you’ve missed the point. There isn’t one standard for men and a different one for women. It’s the same standard, except that in the real world only men seem to be breaking it. If women break it, they’ll be treated the same way. > > If you disagree and think that some women are causing the same problem as some men are, then I’ll ask you to provide some evidence. Go to enginerd’s post and read the five examples given. Now find five similar examples where people were talking about some serious subject and a female poster cam into post a sex joke. I think you’ve missed \*my \*point. Read this thread. I’m talking about posts in this thread. That’s my evidence. Accusing men of jacking off while posting comments, accusing men of sexual assaulting women through their posts, calling people they disagree with “obnoxious douchebags,” etc. People have been saying this shit right here in this thread. These are posts directed at actual posters, which it seems to me, violates Guideline #1. Jacking off, sexual assault…these are accusations sexual in nature, directed at SDMB posters. I’m not trying to make this a “tit for tat” type argument. I agree that “pics please” posts are inappropriate, and bringing sex into a serious thread about medical, fashion, etc advice needs to go. And those obnoxious posts have pretty exclusively come from men. I get it. All I’m saying is that I see violations of these new guidelines right here in this thread, and the violations are ironically coming from the very people who are clamoring for a crackdown on sex-based attacks. Being accused of sexual assault for posting a joke about a pantsless woman handing out rubbers? Saying that that’s a call to rape someone? Or at the very least \*implying \*that posting those jokes is sexual assault? That’s over-the-line. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/377 "2013-05-07T04:39:33Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > Report them. So, you think it’s easier for the moderators to deal with an increased amount of reported posts, by a large amount of people continuously, than to simply make a basic rule to get others to cut that sort of behavior out? This is similar to the argument that everyone should just use the ignore feature. It addresses the symptoms, not the problem. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/378 "2013-05-07T04:40:06Z")
> [@treis](#): > > If the point is to make this a more diverse and welcoming community then the priority ought to be on stopping jokes against: > > (1) Religion and > > (2) Conservatives/Republicans > > Because if I were either of those I don’t think I’d last around here very long as they are constantly insulted. I’ve reported off-topic religion bashing that got immediately quashed. I’ve also seen the mods come down heavy on anti-conservative political jabs. I’ve participated in the past few months in GD in many fact-based discussions of religious teachings without any hint of persecution. All depends on the forum you’re in. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/379 "2013-05-07T04:45:36Z")
It’s not that big a deal. We have rules against threadshitting and being a jerk. These rules will now be applied to posts like those **Enginerd** found. That’s it. That’s what’s going on. I agree that the threads about the pantsless pope protestor and the cunt-punting sorority girl were poorly modded and probably an over-reaction to all the brouhaha. There will probably be other threads that will be poorly moderated in the future, but that is a cross we’ve had to bear for a long time. Hopefully the new attitude will be used only in bright line violations like Enginerd’s examples. And really those should have been moderated on the basis of lameness alone. Jesus, they made Beavis look like Oscar Wilde. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/380 "2013-05-07T04:47:07Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > I think you’ve missed \*my \*point. Read this thread. I’m talking about posts in this thread. That’s my evidence. Accusing men of jacking off while posting comments, accusing men of sexual assaulting women through their posts, calling people they disagree with “obnoxious douchebags,” etc. People have been saying this shit right here in this thread. These are posts directed at actual posters, which it seems to me, violates Guideline #1. Jacking off, sexual assault…these are accusations sexual in nature, directed at SDMB posters. > > I’m not trying to make this a “tit for tat” type argument. I agree that “pics please” posts are inappropriate, and bringing sex into a serious thread about medical, fashion, etc advice needs to go. And those obnoxious posts have pretty exclusively come from men. I get it. All I’m saying is that I see violations of these new guidelines right here in this thread, and the violations are ironically coming from the very people who are clamoring for a crackdown on sex-based attacks. > > Being accused of sexual assault for posting a joke about a pantsless woman handing out rubbers? Saying that that’s a call to rape someone? Or at the very least \*implying \*that posting those jokes is sexual assault? That’s over-the-line. As I understand it, the policy is pretty much what you’ve said: _“pics please” posts are inappropriate, and bringing sex into a serious thread about medical, fashion, etc advice needs to go._ This policy is not absolute. The key is that there are times and places where it’s appropriate and times and places were it isn’t. There’s currently a thread asking people to post dirty jokes - I doubt anyone will get modded there. And this thread is discussing the policy so posts about it (including accusations about people’s motives) are on topic here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626.md?page=18) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626.md?page=20)