# Moderation of inappropriate sexual commentary **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [May 6, 2013, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626 "2013-05-06T15:55:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/21 "2013-05-06T16:41:49Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > Yes, I believe so. It does depend on circumstances, as I tried to make very clear. A comment might be moderated if it’s sexually charged _and_ out of the blue, so to speak. But one which is on topic for the thread, we’d have to weigh how the conversation got there. So NON sexual misogeny is ok? (Just to be clear.) A comment about women “getting all hysterical again” gets a pass. Because, from what I recall from the earlier threads, this kind of comment was mentioned [by non-moderators] as being offensive. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/22 "2013-05-06T16:42:02Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Who was handing out condoms, for which there are almost no non-sexual uses. > > So, she was running around with no pants, had styled her pubic hair to attract attention to her crotch, and was handing out condoms, which are used in sex. > > I am at a loss as to how that can be interpreted as a serious or non-sexual topic. > > Regards, > Shodan Condoms are used to keep dirt out of rifle barrels in desert areas. Maybe it was a pro-war rally encouraging people to enlist for Afghanistan. And since it is hot in Afghanistan, less clothes keep you cooler. And of course in the military you need to be well groomed everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/23 "2013-05-06T16:43:40Z")
So, where’s the brightline and how do you decide it, **Shodan**? She’s clearly “asking for” crude sexual comments to be made about her under your thesis, so what else is she “asking for”? Any mention of sex anywhere doesn’t open the door for sexual comments or sexual harassment. Saying “well her activity was sexual in nature therefore it’s appropriate for me to say I want to bang her” is at best asinine. > [@johnpost](#): > > this banter, creating a punch line being given a straight line happens. I assure you that a good number of women (and male posters observing, too!) don’t find “banter” and “punch lines” about people offering to snuggle up with our breasts in threads about breast cancer or bras very cute, funny, or that they are adding a single positive thing to the board. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/24 "2013-05-06T16:45:13Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Who was handing out condoms, for which there are almost no non-sexual uses. > > So, she was running around with no pants, had styled her pubic hair to attract attention to her crotch, and was handing out condoms, which are used in sex. > > I am at a loss as to how that can be interpreted as a serious or non-sexual topic. > > Regards, > Shodan Some posts are more valuable than others. I submit you have responded to one that is well below the recommended threshold. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/25 "2013-05-06T16:52:36Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > highly stylized public hair Pretty apt typo there. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/26 "2013-05-06T16:53:50Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Pretty apt typo there. heh, True enough. Good catch. :)😛 ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/27 "2013-05-06T16:56:44Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > Sexism, just like racism, is unfortunately alive and well. With these new rules, we are extending the ban on jerkish or off-topic comments to those which sexually denigrate people. Sexual joke ≠ sexism. We don’t need a sex-specific rule; if something is sufficiently off-topic, moderate it on those merits, as you guys have since explained when backpedaling the reasons for Red Fury’s warnings. This new rule is unnecessary and over-reaching, and shows how little insight the mods here are actually able to provide. Particularly when it takes them days to reach a consensus that amounts to copying and pasting another poster’s idea from what, day 1? ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/28 "2013-05-06T16:57:22Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > She’s clearly “asking for” crude sexual comments to be made about her under your thesis, so what else is she “asking for”? Any mention of sex anywhere doesn’t open the door for sexual comments or sexual harassment. It is no more “sexual harrassment” to refer to this bimbo as a “bimbo” than it was for David Niven to comment that the himbo (or streaker) at the Oscars had “obvious shortcomings”. You decide to make your genitals a brain-damaged attempt at an “edgy”, quasi-political statement, people are 100% in the right to mock you about it. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/29 "2013-05-06T16:57:31Z")
I like this as a start. It’s a work in progress. You can’t wave a magic wand and make it all OK. But for the posters who are vehemently protesting, just try and walk a mile in our shoes for a bit, eh? Why don’t you sit back and see what happenes before we stress about every single thing? It might be nice if this was one of the few mature places on the Internet where women could feel just a tiny bit more welcome and part of the crowd and not walking vaginas. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/30 "2013-05-06T16:58:16Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > If you’re writing it to either score points in a battle, or up your cred as an acknowledged board wit — consider that the wider target of your point might view it differently than you. I am dismayed by this portion. Surely, having a motive of “scoring points in a battle” or “upping ones’ cred as an acknowledged board wit” should weigh _against_ a conclusion that one is engaging in gratuitously sexually demeaning invective. > [@](#): > > the desire for an exchange of ideas among other intelligent people whose backgrounds may be different from our own. Yes, but also, an exchange of ideas among other intelligent people, many of which are able to express themselves trenchantly, wittily, sarcastically, sharply, or in other artfully devastating manners. It’s not just the exchange of ideas that attracts and holds attention, but also the manner of the exchange. If it were me, I would that this guideline: > [@](#): > > 1. Is it directed at another poster on this board? And make it more explicit: _Is it intended to insult or demean another poster on this board?_ In order to exclude specifically turns of phrase that might _in form_ be “directed at” another poster on this board, but are not meant as an insult but rather as rhetorical devices intended to make a larger point. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/31 "2013-05-06T16:59:02Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > heh, True enough. Good catch. :)😛 And I’m hoping **Bob Ducca** ’s joke doesn’t get reported.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/32 "2013-05-06T17:00:37Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I like this as a start. It’s a work in progress. You can’t wave a magic wand and make it all OK. But for the posters who are vehemently protesting, just try and walk a mile in our shoes for a bit, eh? If I were in your shoes, I’d learn to realize I have access to something called the “ignore” option that allows me to block all those unsightly posters. I don’t know why it falls on the mods to protect the easily offended. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/33 "2013-05-06T17:00:53Z")
> [@mlees](#): > > Let’s say a Lindsay Lohan news story comes up where she is busted for DUI again. If I made a joke about “Meh. Women are poor drivers anyway…”, are you saying I won’t be modded? > [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > This would apply, no? > > > [@](#): > > > > 1. Is it a sexual comment in a thread with a non-sexual topic? I’d say “no.” MLees’s comment is a _sexist_ comment, but it’s not _sexual_ at all. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/34 "2013-05-06T17:01:01Z")
Sounds like a good start. I hope it won’t devolve, thought, into modding of really petty cases. A lot of the low-level misogynistic joking boils down to cloddish insensitivity. But how cloddish is cloddish enough to warrant any offense, and to warrant modding? I think that the guidelines given here are bound to be incomplete, as they don’t really cover the whole issue. Too much attention has been focused on _jokes_ that might be inappropriate, leading to all the worries about banning all jokes, etc. But there’s a whole 'nother genre of inappropriateness that’s barely been mentioned, and that is the area of _hostile_ sexist remarks. These are likely to be offensive too. But all these arguments lately have been mostly focused on stupid “Boob pix” requests, out-of-place boner snarks, and stuff like that. I think that a lot of the seemingly _misogynist_ remarks have tended to be crude cloddish joke type stuff (the “boob pix” sort of thing), of varying degrees of offensiveness. These, I gather, will be modded a little more extensively now. On the other hand, I see a lot of _misandrist_ stuff here — coming from male as well as female posters! — that tends to be hostile or angry rather than humorous or “humerous”. Now a lot of that is rather low-level too, and I wouldn’t want this board to become a cesspool of censorship about that either. But there’s also a lot of overtly angry anti-male hostility running loose in a lot of threads that I do find very offensive – yet which doesn’t quite directly violate any established board rules, unless maybe the generic “don’t be a jerk” rule. These don’t seem to get modded. And I see nothing in today’s new policy that covers that situation. Thus, I see today’s policy as a start towards addressing part of the larger problem, but it still isn’t complete. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/35 "2013-05-06T17:01:14Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > It is no more “sexual harrassment” to refer to this bimbo as a “bimbo” than it was for David Niven to comment that the himbo (or streaker) at the Oscars had “obvious shortcomings”. > > You decide to make your genitals a brain-damaged attempt at an “edgy”, quasi-political statement, people are 100% in the right to mock you about it. So, because you’ve decided she’s attractive but stupid, you get to deem her a willing sex object? I mean, hell, that’s the definition of a bimbo. Here’s the thing: it’s perfectly fine to mock her political statement as stupid (I don’t have a dog in her political fight anyway- so I happen to agree it was stupid “speech”), but it’s a whole other situation to post repeatedly about sexual assault or whatever else just because she’s naked. > [@kayaker](#): > > And I’m hoping **Bob Ducca** ’s joke doesn’t get reported.🙂 Herpderpderp, funny. See, all us feminists aren’t sitting around, humorlessly trying to ruin your board, I promise. We laugh at appropriate jokes, too. > [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > If I were in your shoes, I’d learn to realize I have access to something called the “ignore” option that allows me to block all those unsightly posters. I don’t know why it falls on the mods to protect the easily offended. And this nonsense is getting ridiculous, too. If some of us are upset about the sexual comments, we’re told to leave or use the ignore function. If you guys get offended that you can’t joke about sexually assaulting us (unwanted physical attention, etc), then your rights are being violated, etc etc. Pro tip: just don’t make unnecessary, out of place sexual comments and you’re golden. If that’s truly the only way you can express yourself, you need to reassess . . . everything. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/36 "2013-05-06T17:03:09Z")
If it’s the type of comment you would think twice about making in real life, then you probably shouldn’t make it. It’s not very complicated. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/37 "2013-05-06T17:03:30Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Why would the first two need moderation? A blanket ban on discussion of possible innate differences between the genders seems like an overreaction, don’t you think? And one that could potentially stifle useful debate and discussion? Whereas restricting unsolicited sexual remarks directed at other posters doesn’t seem to have much of a downside and quite a bit of an upside. > > Personally, I think this is a very sensible approach and I applaud the mods for adopting it. Agreed, and there’s always the BBQ Pit for those who just can’t resist taking a dig at an individual poster or group. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/38 "2013-05-06T17:03:59Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > If it’s the type of comment you would think twice about making in real life, then you probably shouldn’t make it. It’s not very complicated. Using this logic, almost every political thread here would not exist. Neither would threads discussion personal medical issues–I can’t recall someone talking about their period out in public yet, yet that’s totally fine for a MB post (as it should be). ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/39 "2013-05-06T17:04:49Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > So, where’s the brightline and how do you decide it, **Shodan**? I would allow jokes in threads about non-serious topics, even sexual ones. > [@](#): > > She’s clearly “asking for” crude sexual comments to be made about her under your thesis, so what else is she “asking for”? You mean “crude sexual comments on an anonymous messageboard that she will never read or hear about”. I don’t think she is “asking for” anything more than that. And since we are discussing what happens on this messageboard, I think such a limit is appropriate. > [@](#): > > Any mention of sex anywhere doesn’t open the door for sexual comments or sexual harassment. Saying “well her activity was sexual in nature therefore it’s appropriate for me to say I want to bang her” is at best asinine. Her activity was not merely sexual in nature, it seems to have been designed to attract attention and comment. She wasn’t just wearing a sandwich board, you realize. > [@](#): > > I assure you that a good number of women (and male posters observing, too!) don’t find “banter” and “punch lines” about people offering to snuggle up with our breasts in threads about breast cancer or bras very cute, funny, or that they are adding a single positive thing to the board. Granted. What does that have to do with a thread about a woman with no pants on and her pubic hair shaved into designs wearing a Pope hat and handing out condoms in public? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/40 "2013-05-06T17:06:34Z")
> [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > If I were in your shoes, I’d learn to realize I have access to something called the “ignore” option that allows me to block all those unsightly posters. I don’t know why it falls on the mods to protect the easily offended. Sure, let’s not try to fix it or make our experience better in any way, let’s just shut our ears and eyes and hope it never happens again. Anyway, I don’t _want_ to ignore those posters. Most of the times even the ones with the stupid sexist jokes are entertaining and fun in other places. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626.md?page=3)