# Moderation of inappropriate sexual commentary **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [May 6, 2013, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626 "2013-05-06T15:55:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 27
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/521 "2013-05-07T19:54:18Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > So where do we stand on posters tossing around accusations of sexual assault-- or “joking about sexual assault”-- against other posters? That goes beyond accusations of misogyny and inappropriate comments. No. Joking about sexual assault doesn’t go beyond accusations of misogyny. And why the quotation marks around the phrase? Are you still unconvinced that that’s what’s being talked about? > [@](#): > > Condescending Robot got a warning for doing something along these lines recently. I don’t think he did. I think he got a warning for suggesting that other people had committed sexual assault. This is, again, a giant difference, the same difference between saying, “Your joke about the Challenger disaster was in poor taste” and saying, “I think you sabotaged that shuttle.” Edit: [here’s the warning in question](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16253882&postcount=153). He was warned for comparing other people to rapists and for saying that they probably didn’t have any problem with rape. See the difference? > [@](#): > > Accusing another poster about “joking about sexual assaulting someone” is really no different than accusing them of approving of sexual assault. Yes, it really is different. Someone might tell a dead baby joke without thinking that dead babies are a good thing. Someone else might think telling dead baby jokes is in poor taste, especially in a thread discussing miscarriage. I really think you need to consider the three different things (committing a misdeed, approving of a misdeed, and joking about a misdeed) and why they’re fundamentally different. Conflating them does your argument no favors. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/522 "2013-05-07T19:55:26Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > And no, not one single comment in that thread was joking about sexual assault, some people have evidently dreamed that up in some sort of group-fantasy session. Yet again, we expect people to comprehend the basics, that the unspoken phrase is “…if she’d let me” and not “…if I had to hold a knife to that dumb bitch’s throat to stop her from screaming!” As always, the words you add to my post to make it unreasonable makes it your post, not mine. And that’s the last I have to say to you on the subject. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/523 "2013-05-07T19:57:42Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > So where do we stand on posters tossing around accusations of sexual assault-- or “joking about sexual assault”-- against other posters? Did anybody actually accuse anybody of sexual assault? I think there were comparisons of these unwanted jokes to sexual assault. As far as I remember, the only poster who said ‘you don’t object to sexual assault’ is now suspended. Saying someone is joking about sexual assault is a comment on their post. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/524 "2013-05-07T19:58:43Z")
> [@colander](#): > > He is not comparing it to the commission of a sexual assault. He is comparing it to _joking_ about sexual assault. Which, you know. It was. Unless you believe that there’s a reason to think that any given politically-active college student would particularly enjoy being erotically spanked by an unpleasant internet stranger? (Hint: there isn’t) I think this might go quicker if we start from the other end of the spectrum. Can you please list any jokes that you think do not promote sexual assault? From now on we’ll just restrict ourselves to that list. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/525 "2013-05-07T19:59:14Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > What’s worse, if your rhetoric is to be believed, you honestly think that any time an older man says of a younger (or just more attractive?) woman, “Man, I’d love to fuck her”, he doesn’t mean “…if she’s consent to that.” but “…and if I’d have to rape her, ah well.” > > It’s really very clear. Jokes about sexuality are jokes about sexuality. > Jokes about sexual assault are jokes about sexual assault. > One hopes that this would be obvious… 1. How is an old man saying “Man, I’d love to fuck her” a joke in any way, shape or form? 😕 2. What, in your opinion, is problematic about asking old men who insist on repeatedly making unsettling comments about how they would like to fuck various people to either cut it out or leave? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/526 "2013-05-07T20:00:32Z")
> [@Myrnalene](#): > > Is that more likely to happen than a post [like this,](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16200642&postcount=714) I wonder? No, in the Pit neither kind is likely to be modded. I wonder if you knew that. [QUOTE=Marley23] I think the issue is this: several posters have tried to make the point that a naked woman isn’t necessarily sexual, meaning a story about a naked woman isn’t necessarily open season for sexy time comments. [/quote] How about a half-naked woman who makes a special point to draw attention to her genitalia, and uses the sexuality of the situation to hand out devices used in sex? > [@](#): > > I understand that given the specifics of the protest and the humor element this is a very fine-line instance. I don’t. As I mentioned several times, ISTM to be screamingly obvious that this was a sexual situation. Which is why I asked the question that I did - by what means could I determine that this was not a sexual situation? Because public nudity is not necessarily sexual? I suppose I can kid myself into thinking that. But public nudity in which the person makes a special point of drawing attention to her genitalia, and uses the occasion to hand out devices useful only in engaging in sex? The message seems to be pretty apparent - ‘Hey everybody, I’m naked. Look at my crotch! Here is a condom - be sure to use it for its intended purpose! Fuck the Pope and the Catholic church because they don’t believe what I do about recreational sex!’ In what manner can that be interpreted as not being about sex? Yes, it was a protest. It was a protest about sex, using sex, highlighting sex, and advocating sex (of a certain type). Protests using, highlighting, advocating, and about sex, are sexual in nature. Threads about them are therefore sexual in nature. Where am I wrong here? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/527 "2013-05-07T20:01:36Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > I think this might go quicker if we start from the other end of the spectrum. > > Can you please list any jokes that you think do not promote sexual assault? From now on we’ll just restrict ourselves to that list. I think I’ll leave that up to the moderators. You are, of course, free to argue with them about their enforcement of the rules should the need arise. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/528 "2013-05-07T20:02:11Z")
> [@Tequila\_Party](#): > > To reiterate; as someone who is still new, it seems that there’s a rule here in a stickie and rule over there in another thread. Is it possible to get _all_ the rules in one convenient place so that we all know what’s going on and don’t have to subscribe, and re-reference a bunch of threads? But that would change the character of the boards, in some ethereal way that can’t be described, but inevitably for the worse. It’ll bring in the riff-raff who don’t have the intellectual willpower and fortitude to research and investigate all of the SDMB’s arcana. Does the community behind our beloved _panoptic salon_ really want to embrace the presence of such selfish, mentally challenged individuals who are not even willing to make such an investment of time and energy? ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/529 "2013-05-07T20:02:58Z")
> [@Myrnalene](#): > > Are you honestly unaware that people make jokes about sexual assault here? […]What about [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16214954&postcount=849) and [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16196073&postcount=635)? Did you mean to link something else entirely? One is a joke about having sex with dogs. That’s not sexual “assault”, unless we’ve gone outside of the bounds of common sense entirely, and we now have to take up the banner of Offense on behalf of anything _female, whether human or not, that has a sexual comment directed at it. ._ The second isn’t a joke about sexual assault, at all. If you were purposefully posting that, it actually shows just how thoroughly founded on ignorance your position is. The word rape originally meant _theft_. Saying “My gut told me to sell my Microsoft shares at $17.35 but I didn’t listen and got raped.” is, well, first, not a joke. Two, not about sexual assault. If it really upsets you, substitute “robbed” for “raped”. But knowing the definition of words we use would be a good first step, too. > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > As always, the words you add to my post to make it unreasonable makes it your post, not mine. And that’s the last I have to say to you on the subject. Mmmm hmmm. You felt that bringing up rape in a discussion of men joking about women they find attractive is a good idea, and I’m the one who made your post unreasonable. Truly, what power I have, to use your own post and magically have it become my post. The other day you were claiming I had dreadfully distorted a claim that something never happens by saying that it always does not happen. Angrily, you told us, I must have been wilfully distorting it! If the words you’ve used got away from you, you can either fix your mistake, or insult other people and refuse to back down. Ya know, like a romantic dinner, eh? ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/530 "2013-05-07T20:06:34Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > How about a half-naked woman who makes a special point to draw attention to her genitalia, and uses the sexuality of the situation to hand out devices used in sex? Again, please explain how handing out condoms while being nude in public is inherently sexual. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/531 "2013-05-07T20:08:33Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Again, please explain how handing out condoms while being nude in public is inherently sexual. Thanks. Could you explain what more would be needed before you would consider her actions to be sexual in nature? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/532 "2013-05-07T20:08:57Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Yet again, we expect people to comprehend the basics, that the unspoken phrase is “…if she’d let me” and not “…if I had to hold a knife to that dumb bitch’s throat to stop her from screaming!” > > That you honestly cannot tell the difference is, frankly, more than a little disturbing. Maybe this is what some feminists mean when they say all intercourse is rape. If it is, then any expression of sexual interest in a female is an expression of a desire to rape her. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/533 "2013-05-07T20:09:36Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > I think this might go quicker if we start from the other end of the spectrum. > > Can you please list any jokes that you think do not promote sexual assault? From now on we’ll just restrict ourselves to that list. Knock it off. > [@elmwood](#): > > Does the community behind our beloved _panoptic salon_ really want to embrace the presence of such selfish, mentally challenged individuals who are not even willing to make such an investment of time and energy? What was the point of this, exactly? > [@FinnAgain](#): > > Ya know, like a romantic dinner, eh? > [@Shodan](#): > > Maybe this is what some feminists mean when they say all intercourse is rape. It’s a fake quote that, at least to my knowledge, has never been uttered in seriousness by any feminist. This was briefly discussed upthread, and ATMB is not the place to critique feminism itself. I think we’re just about done here. Does anyone have a relevant or non-snarky question? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/534 "2013-05-07T20:10:42Z")
Well frankly, before I can go on and address anything else here, I’d still like to get a cite from Diosa on what she actually considers to be a joke about sexual assault from the Pantsless Pope thread, as that was one specific thread she referenced in her accusations. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/535 "2013-05-07T20:10:55Z")
> [@colander](#): > > 1. How is an old man saying “Man, I’d love to fuck her” a joke in any way, shape or form? 😕 I’m 47. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/536 "2013-05-07T20:11:39Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Again, please explain how handing out condoms while being nude in public is inherently sexual. Thanks. I’ve already done so several times. You’re welcome. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/537 "2013-05-07T20:11:53Z")
nm, not worth it. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/538 "2013-05-07T20:11:55Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Again, please explain how handing out condoms while being nude in public is inherently sexual. Google “condom” and then see what they’re used for. Hint: it’s not baking. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/539 "2013-05-07T20:14:37Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Does anyone have a relevant or non-snarky question? Yes, I would still appreciate an explanation as to how the pantsless Pope thread could be considered non-sexual. Either from you, or perhaps **Ellen Cherry**. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626/540 "2013-05-07T20:15:03Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Google “condom” and then see what they’re used for. > Hint: it’s not baking. I must have missed the part where she was _using_ them. Is it okay if I go to the receptionist at the nearby university health center who has a bowl of condoms on her desk and start shouting about how I’d like to lick her pubes? Or can I only do that if she’s wearing a short skirt? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626.md?page=26) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moderation-of-inappropriate-sexual-commentary/657626.md?page=28)